A/N: Ok so, this is my first time posting on Fanfic in forever. And this is also my first Boondock Saints fic. But, I got this idea and it just wouldn't get out of my head so this is what it turned into, freakin' 12 pages on Word. I thought it was just going to be a quick little oneshot but apparently my muse had other plans.
Warnings: It's a little on the cracky side. Also, there's cross dressing. Don't like, don't read.
Disclaimer: Seriously? Do you know what I'd be doing if I owned BDS? I'll give you a hint: not this.
"I wanna thank you boys for coming on such short notice."
Agent Paul Smecker lit a cigarette as he causally took his seat in front of the MacManus brothers. He tossed the pack of smokes and his lighter on the table, inviting the boys to join him as they got down to business.
"Aye," Conner reached out, taking the box and lighting one for himself and one for his twin. "Anythin' we can do ta help."
"Absolutely," Murphy agreed with a nod.
Smecker allowed the air in the room to fill with silence and tobacco smoke as he took a particularly long drag from his cigarette before speaking. "Now, I bet you two are wondering what you're doing back in Boston, huh?"
The brothers exchanged quick glance.
"A bit, yeah," Conner answered honestly. He took the cigarette from his mouth and tapped it on the edge of the ash tray in the center of the table.
"Thought we did a pretty good job a' cleanin' house," Murphy added, exhaling a puff of smoke.
"And you did," Smecker assured them. He didn't want them to think he wasn't grateful for what they were doing. In fact, grateful would be an understatement. "However," He sighed. "I'm afraid that since you two left, things have started heating up again. I mean, sure it was quite peaceful for awhile, but I regret to inform you that a new heir has taken over the Yakavetta throne."
"So we take 'im out too," Murphy took a drag from his cigarette and shrugged. "Really, should be a piece o'cake."
Conner chuckled. "Aye. They still think we're long gone, but when we show up," Conner clapped his twin on the back. "The mother fuckers won' know what hit 'em."
But Smecker wasn't so sure. He knew, under regular circumstances, the MacManus brothers could pull a job like this off no problem. These, however, were not regular circumstances.
"Look, boys," The FBI agent snuffed out his cigarette and leaned forward. "This isn't going to be like anything you've done before. It's not gunna be in, say a little prayer, BANG BANG BANG! Mother fuckers down, pennies on the eyes, leave…no. None of that stuff. Not this time. This place has been under heavy guard since the execution of Pappa Joe. Whether you were in town or not, they were and are always ready for you. No no," Smecker's expression turned thoughtful as he sat back in his seat. "You boys are going to have to go under cover…"
"Well, we already wear masks…" Murphy pointed out, unsure of where Smecker was taking this. Conner didn't have a clue either, but Smecker was starting to get that look in his eye so he was pretty sure he didn't want to know.
"No that's not going to work this time. It's not a matter of them knowing who you are, it's a matter of not being who you are entirely!"
"Alright, now yer jus' startin' ta not make any sense—"
"I got it!" Smecker shot out of his chair as an idea as divine as the Lord Himself popped into his head. "You'll go in disguise…as women!"
Conner refused to accept what just came out of Smecker's mouth as the truth. "Yeh can't be fuckin' serious?!"
But Smecker didn't say anything. He just looked down at the two brothers and grinned.
"I think he is fuckin' serious," Murph observed.
"Of course I'm fucking serious!" Paul exploded. "This is a fool proof plan. Believe me! They'll never see it coming. But…I guess if you don't want to do it I could always just arrest you on, oh how many counts of murder is it now?" Again, normally Smecker wouldn't stoop as low as blackmail, but these were extraordinary circumstances. Plus, who wouldn't jump at a chance to see the sexy MacManus twins in drag?
Conner expelled a sigh and glanced over at his brother for a moment. "Yeh wouldn' really arrest us, would yeh?" He could play the black mail card just as well as Smecker could. "I mean, 'specially after all we've done fer yeh."
"Ah," Smecker sauntered around the table and knelt down next to the light haired twin. "You seem to be forgetting that I'm the reason you two were able to do all that instead of rotting behind bars for 25 to life."
Conner avoided his eyes; Murphy tossed his cigarette butt into the ash tray. The FBI agent did have a very good, very true point. And worst of all, he knew it too.
Arrogant as ever, Smecker scooted between the brothers and put an arm on each of their shoulders. "So, are ya up for it?" He asked, glancing back and forth between the brothers. "Oh, c'mon. It won't be that bad…being women. You could call yourselves Connie and Mur…ria? Yes! That's perfect!" the FBI agent exclaimed at his own flash of brilliance."Connie and Maria!"
Conner winced as Smecker giggled wildly and brought them in closer.
"Ah, oh god. I crack myself up." He continued through his laughter.
"Ya, we can see tha'," Conner muttered and rolled his eyes.
When Smecker's storm of hilarity subsided, he cleared his throat and looked back to the twins for their answer. "Seriously, what d'ya say?"
Conner refused to say anything. He was pretty sure he'd rather go to jail for the rest of his life than prance around in heels and a skirt, especially in front of Smecker no less.
Murphy, on the other hand, had other things on his mind.
"I wonder how I'd look as a redhead," He mused. Conner just stared at him as if to say; 'Who tha fuck are yeh and what tha fuck have yeh done with me brother?'
And Smecker…well, he took that as a 'Yes.'
"I can't believe we're really fuckin' doin' this." Conner shook his head and threw the car into park once in front of the address Smecker had provided them with.
"Which part?" Murphy turned to his brother and Conner met his gaze with a daggered glare.
"Oh, I think yeh fuckin' know which part," He snarled and stepped out of the car, slamming the door shut behind him. Murphy watched in amusement as his brother stomped up the walkway in a fashion that reminded him of when their Ma would send one of them to their room.
Wiping the smirk off his face, Murphy exited the vehicle and joined his other half at the front door of what he assumed to be Smecker's residence while he was here in Boston.
"Well," Conner sighed. "Let's get this tha fuck over with…" He knocked on the door three times in quick succession. Smecker appeared a few seconds later.
"You boys are right on time. Come on in!" The FBI agent greeted and led them inside.
"Whoa," Murphy remarked, taking a moment to admire the house. "Nice place yeh got here."
"Yeah well, I owe it all to the taxpayers," Smecker chuckled at his own joke, in turn earning himself a smile from Murph and yet another less-than-amused glare from his brother. "Well, we got a lot of work to do and very little time to do it," He clapped his hands together, "So let's get to it!" and ushered the boys up the stairs.
They entered the first door on the right side of the hallway, not at all shocked to discover that it was indeed Smecker's bedroom. And only then did Conner notice that Murphy was starting to get a tad bit uncomfortable.
"Still think this is a good idea?" He leaned over and whispered to his twin in Gaelic as Smecker was making his way over to the closet. Murphy just shot Conner a look, refusing to comment.
Sensing something was amiss; Smecker stopped what he was doing and faced the brothers.
"You know," He pressed his back against the wooden doors of the closet and cocked his head to one side. "If you don't want to do this—"
"No, no," Murphy was quick to cut him off. "We're fine."
Smecker eyed the darker of the two MacManus's skeptically. "Uh-huh…" He wasn't buying it for a second.
"Oi, can we jus' stop this and get on with it?!" Conner yelled, glancing between his brother and the FBI agent.
"Well, Christ, Conn. I had no idea how anxious ya were ta become a woman," Murphy quipped.
"Alright, tha's it," Conner launched himself at his brother, both of them toppling to the ground. "I'm gunna fuckin'—"
"Hey, hey! Enough!" Smecker intervened just as Conner's fist went up to strike Murph. "You two had better fuckin' knock your immature shit off," the FBI agent warned as he pulled Conner off and away from Murphy.
"I'm not fooling around here," He went on, positioning himself between the twins thereby blocking them from making another jump for each other. "These men will stop at nothing to see you suffer, to see you pay for what you did to them. I'm making you do all this for your own goddamn protection. So, unless you want to end up like your idiot friend, I suggest you two shut the fuck up, and start paying fucking attention!"
The MacManus's each glanced at one another before shifting their eyes to the floor. They knew Smecker was right, and worst off Smecker knew that they knew that he was right. Satisfied with how things were working in his favor thus far, Paul haughtily flipped his hair out of his face, and with his hand perched ever so precariously on his hip, made his way back over to the closet.
In one fell swoop, the doors to the wardrobe were opened, and when they looked up, Conner and Murphy couldn't believe their eyes.
"So, I'm guessin' this en't yer first time doin' this?" The blond twin inferred as he and his brother gaped in awe at the array of women's attire.
Smecker grinned, "Not even close," and expelled a wistful sigh. "Yep, I've done some pretty friggen amazing things as a woman."
Conner and Murphy looked at one another, horrified.
"Yeh know, somethin' tell me we don' really want ta know…"
"Aye," Conner couldn't agree with his brother more.
Fortunately for them, Smecker's nostalgic moment had come and gone without another word about his female escapades. However, unfortunately for them, what he had moved onto was picking out wigs for their endeavors as women.
So, while Conner and Murphy were having mini-melt downs, Smecker grabbed a ginger hair piece off one of the hooks and tossed it at Murph, who caught it and then just stared at it as though it was going to jump up and eat his face off.
"Put it on," Smecker instructed. "I wanna see if you were really on to something with that whole 'redhead' thing."
Murphy hesitated for a moment before flipping the wig over and placing it atop his head.
"Well, wha'd'ya think?" He asked after he had properly adjusted it.
Smecker and Conner looked at each other before turning back to Murph. And it was quite clear that the decision was unanimous.
"No."
"Oh, c'mon. Are yeh tellin' me you wouldn' want a piece o' this?" Murphy batted his eyes and struck a sexy pose for his two supposed critics.
"Not even if I were drunk off me arse an' yeh were the last livin' creature on God's great Earth," Conner stated without any hesitation whatsoever.
"I don' know, Conn there've been some times where some o' the lasses yeh bring home—"
"Alright, we don' need ta get inta it now," Conner shut his brother up by yanking the wig off his head. Murphy feigned annoyance while Smecker took the hair piece and went on searching for one that would at least be somewhat convincing on the Irishman.
"You're better off just sticking as close to your real hair color as possible," Smecker told them grabbing a piece off a hook he felt most resembled Murphy's locks. This time, however, Paul took matters into his own hands and bestowed the wig upon the twin himself.
Smecker made sure the hairpiece was properly adjusted (bangs in place, all remnants of male hair tucked safely out of sight…etc.) before stepping back to examine his work. This wig was a lot longer than the previous one, and framed Murphy's face quite nicely if he said so himself.
"Well?" Murphy asked again in lieu of the unreadable expressions on both Paul and Conner's faces.
"Shite, Murph. It looks good." His brother sounded genuinely surprised.
Smecker agreed. "To put in your terms, aye. I think we've found the one. Now," He turned his attention to Conner. "It's your turn."
Murphy grinned and took a seat on the corner of the bed. "Oh, this oughta be good…"
Smecker gave Conner a choice of wigs, seeing as the skin tone of the lighter haired twin was much more versatile than that of Murphy's. Conner, of course just wanting to get through this as painflessly as possibly, had no opinion on the color of his hairpiece and surprisingly trusted Smecker to make the right decision for him.
Once the wigs were taken care of, it was time to move on to the most important part of the process…
"Ok boys, it's make-up time," Smecker hauled out what could only be described as trunk full of different cosmetic products. "But before we do that, we need to get you two dressed."
"Can't we jus' do tha' after?" Conner asked, not really sure he wanted to make the leap into wearing women's clothing just yet. Hell, he wasn't even sure if he was ready to take the leap into make-up…and he still was uneasy about the wig…
"And how do you expect to pull a shirt and/or a dress over your head with a face full of make-up?" Smecker's tone was very matter-of-fact as he leaned forward with his hands on his hips, really getting in the boys' face.
"He does 'ave a point," Murphy agreed. "We don' want ta get it messed up."
Conner realized he was fighting a losing battle. Actually, he was pretty sure that battle was lost as soon as he agreed to this whole shenanigan in the first place.
"Ok, fine. Sorry. I didn' know."
"Oh," Smecker stopped halfway to back to the closet and spun on his heel to face the brothers once more. "Speaking of your faces, you boys need to shave."
Conner and Murphy looked as though they were about to object, when Smecker cut them off.
"Ah, do I even need to explain that one? Now go," He started for the wardrobe again. "There should be razors in the bathroom." Smecker gestured to the right as a vague indication of where said room was located.
With defeated sighs, the MacManus brothers rose from their spots on the bed and headed for the bathroom.
Conner was halfway out the door when a thought struck him. "Uh, Agent Smecker?" He poked his head back into the bedroom. "Uh, our faces is all we need ta be shavin'" He gulped. "….Right?"
Smecker gave him a look over his shoulder. Conner quickly got the message.
He help up his hands in surrender and slowly backed out into the hall. "Jus' wanted ta make shure."
Smecker had their attire carefully laid out for them once the now clean shaven brothers had returned from the bathroom. They were simple, black pieces similar to what Smecker wore when he himself had graced the Yakavetta house in the guise of a female.
There were, however, quite a few more obstacles when it came to the MacManus brothers. For example, they needed to be able to wear their gun holsters for quick and easy access in case shit started going down earlier than they expected. Luckily, Smecker was smart and resourceful and that was readily fixed with gaudy faux fur jackets.
The other bump in the road was the twins' tattoos. The ones on their necks were easily hidden by the high collars of the jackets; however the Veritas and Aequitas inked on their hands were not quickly remedied.
That one took a bit of thinking, but in the end Smecker pulled through like he always did and came up with the perfect solution: Gloves. And not the leathery, serial killer-esque gloves the Irishmen usually donned. No, these gloves were silky, lacey and straight up feminine.
Once their wardrobe was taken care of, getting the two of them made-up was a breeze. Both of the boys had amazing features so all Smecker really had to do was play those up with a more female flair.
And then, finally, after a few finishing touches and minor adjustments, the transformation was complete.
"Ok, are you ready to see yourselves like you've never seen yourselves before?"
Conner and Murphy, who not surprisingly both had their eyes squeezed shut, reluctantly nodded.
"Aye," Conner said, mostly to reassure himself.
"We're ready," Murphy added for good measured.
"Well then," Smecker said after a dramatic pause. "Allow me to introduce you to Connie and Maria." He spun them around to face the mirror and when the twins opened their eyes, they couldn't believe what they saw staring back at them.
"Holy…"
"Mother fuckin'…"
"Christ." The twins finished in unison.
"Like what you see?" Smecker asked with a grin, even though he had a pretty good idea of what the answer was.
"We're fuckin' hot!" Murphy exclaimed as he admired Maria in the mirror.
"Aye," Conner agreed whole-heartedly. "I'm never gunna underestimate yer talent again, Smecker."
"See? What did I tell you?" He stepped in between the twins and placed an arm around each of their shoulders. "I know what the fuck I'm talking about." His two creations nodded and Smecker made his way back over to the closet. "Now, we still have a job to do. And I still need to get ready. So, why don't you two ladies go wait downstairs for me?"
"Alright fine, but you better not take, like forever," Conner did his best to hide his accent, slipping into Connie, an American female from the greater Boston area. This was going to be a lot more fun than he originally thought.
"Yeah, Paulina," Murph came in as Maria. "You better not make us, like, late or anything."
Holding back giggles, Connie and Maria stalked out of the room as best they could in the four inch heels Smecker had them in (it would probably be in their best interest to practice walking in them during their short stretch of free time) and headed downstairs to wait while agent Paul Smecker transformed into, as Murphy so affectionately coined, Paulina.
Murphy and Conner wordlessly sat in the living room of Smecker's home. Murphy, never one to be able to sit still for more than a few minutes at a time, would occasionally get up and stride over to the mirror to see how Maria was holding up. Conner sighed and fought back the urge to rolls his eyes at his twin.
"Yanno, Murph, I'm startin' ta think tha' maybe God had it all wrong. Maybe yeh shoulda been born a woman." Conner jeered as he lit up a cigarette. Murphy shook his head, no offense taken from the other's remark.
"Yer jus' jealous tha' I'm th' better lookin' twin now."
Conner chuckled but said nothing more on the subject and the brothers fell into silence once again.
They were both aware that the nerves were starting to set in. This was a whole new ballgame for them. Well, not the killing part. No, they were pretty sure they'd be able to waste the scum and the filth of the earth in their sleep. It was the whole "undercover" thing that had caused them to be more on edge. Something about this whole entire ordeal just didn't sit right with either of the twins.
Heels clicking on the hardwood floor, Murphy strode back to the couch. However, just as he was about to take a seat next to his brother, there was a sharp knock on the front door.
The twins shared a perplexed glance, and there was a quick and silent debate over who should go answer the door and who should go upstairs to alert Smecker.
Without any words exchanged, they both agreed that Murphy's impression of the female species wasn't quite up to par with Conner's so it would be better for the latter to be left to handle the situation by himself while the former went to alert Smecker. Nodding, Murphy started up the stairs while Conner slowly but surely approached the front door.
Taking a deep breath and a few more seconds to prepare himself, he placed a gloved hand on the brass knob and opened the door just enough to see who was on the otherside.
Five men of seeming to be of Italian decent stood on Smecker's front steps. Conner was sure he had never seen them before, but he was also sure that these were in fact not good men at all.
"Can I help you boys?" The Irishman slipped flawlessly from his brogue into the soft, Bostonian lilt of the female he was portraying.
This, obviously, wasn't what the men were expecting to find here at all.
"Uh, yeah. We was hopin' to find an Agent Paul Smecker here. We, uh, heard that he was inviting some friends of ours back into the neighborhood and we wanted to…surprise them." This man was obviously their guy, Conner thought. The new Yakavetta. Well, if they wanted a surprise, they sure as hell were going to get one.
"Oh yes, well, Paul just stepped out for a moment," Conner coyly played along. "But, he and his friends will be back soon, if you wish to come in and wait for them." He batted his mascara enhanced eyelashes at the mobsters for good measure. He knew the bastards wouldn't be able to resist it. "And my twin sister should be down any mintute…" He added, voice dripping with sensuality and suggestion.
This caught the attention of the Mafiosos. "Alright. I suppose we could come in a wait for a while. After all, we got all the time in the world. Right boys?"
The other four nodded eagerly. Conner grinned and opened the front door all the way, extending his arm as a gesture of welcome into Smecker's home.
"Are you fucking kidding me?"
Smecker, who was now more than halfway done with his transformation, couldn't believe what Murphy had just told him. The Irishman shook his head.
" 'Fraid not."
"Shit." Although Smecker wasn't expecting anyone, he seemed to know exactly what was going on. "You need to go back downstairs right now. You and your brother do everything you need to in order to keep them busy. I'll be down soon. And then we'll give it to 'em."
Murphy nodded.
"But," Smecker cautioned. "If things start going south before I get there by all means, do what you gotta do."
"Ah, there she is!" Conner exclaimed as Murphy descended from the stairs and into the living room. "This here is Maria, my lovely twin sister." Conner draped an arm over his other half's shoulder and gently squeezed as if to say 'This is the real deal here. Don't fuck this up. You can do it.'
"Paul didn't tell us he was expecting anyone," Murphy smiled and gave his hair a sexy little tousle.
"Yes well, they were hopin' to surprise him," Conner informed his brother making sure to put a subtle emphasis on the word 'surprise'. "Ain't that right fellas?"
"Oh, how sweet of ya," Murphy conceded, recognizing immediately where Conner was going with this. "Well," He turned to his brother. "Paul told us that we didn't have to wait for him. That we could take off whenever we want…"
"Yeah, you ladies don't have to wait around," the Mafia don was quick to get them out of the way. "If we're interfering with your plans—"
"No, no…'course not!" Conner insisted. They were not going anywhere until these motherfuckers were dead. "Please, we have all night! So c'mon have a seat," he gestured to the living room. "I promise, you won't be waiting long…"
Only Murphy caught the sly grin that spread across Conner's glossed lips as they ushered their unexpected guests to the couch. And, while it wasn't really necessary to stall for time with Smecker finished up, they wanted the criminals to suspect nothing out of the ordinary. If anyone was getting taken off guard, it sure as hell wasn't going to be them.
"So, which one of you is oldest?" One of the men asked when everyone was situated comfortably on the couch.
"Guess," Murphy challenged, rolling a fresh cigarette around on his lips before lighting it.
"Yeah, which one o'us do you think is the older twin?" Conner scooted closer to his brother and they both struck an identically seductive pose.
"I think Maria's older…" The same Mafioso who had asked the question decided and slowly started to move closer to Murphy, who just giggled, trying to keep up their façade. Upon seeing this, Conner instantly went into twin-protection mode. It was becoming clear that they needed to end this, and soon.
The conversation took a different turn after that, thankfully and they were back to saying anything they could to buy more time. Conner still kept a watchful eye on Murphy and the piece of mob scum that was growing increasingly more handsy by the minute. Though it wasn't anything the darker twin couldn't handle, the blond still didn't want someone's filthy hands to his brother's clean soul.
And Conner's control was slipping further and further into oblivion as the mobster moved his hand gradually up Murphy's leg. Murphy managed to brush it off before it went too far, but the man was becoming more aggressive and impatient, and when Murphy brushed his hand away for the third time, that's when things started to go south. And fast.
"What's the matter, babe?" The vile man got right up in Murphy's face and growled. "You don't want a piece of this?" He grabbed hold of Murphy's hand and started moving it towards his crotch.
For a split second, Conner wondered why his brother wasn't beating the shit out of him already. Then it hit him. Good ole' Murphy would sacrifice himself if it meant getting their mission from God done in the end. Conner however, wasn't going to sit back and take this shit anymore.
"Hey! Get yer fuckin' hands off me brother!" With a sharp kick to the knee, the man released his hold on Murphy and Conner pulled him out of harm's way.
"Uh, did you just call her your brother?" One of the other mobsters asked.
Conner didn't say anything. He was fuming.
"What the fuck is going on here?" The Mafia Don demanded, advancing on the twins. Conner pulled Murphy closer with one hand and discretely placed the other on the cool metal of his holstered handgun. He could feel Murphy doing the same.
The mob boss was close now. Conner and Murphy readied themselves to strike at any moment and then—
BANG!
Blood exploded from the Italian's chest as he fell forward. Conner and Murphy managed to lunge out of the way before the heavy, lifeless body hit the sofa.
Smecker (now fully dressed in drag), stood in the entryway, gun in hand and for a moment, nobody knew what to do.
Well, except of course for the brothers MacManus. While the rest of Yakavetta's men stood, shell shocked and dumbfounded, the twins drew both of their weapons and finished of the remaining mobsters with only two shots a piece. And just like that it was all over.
"Well," Smecker was the first one to speak after a particularly long moment of silence. "That worked out a lot better than I expected."
"Aye," the twins nodded in agreement.
"It is kind o' a shame though," Murphy started to say as they went up stairs to change back into themselves before calling someone to help clean up the mess they just made in Smecker's living room.
"What is?" Conner asked, already pulling off his gloves and wiping away some of the makeup.
"We looked so hot, it's too bad we didn' get ta show it off ta anybody."
Conner shrugged, not really caring either way. Smecker on the other hand, was struck with yet another brilliant idea.
"Not so fast Murphy," He stopped his ascent halfway up the stairs and turned slowly to face them. "I may have one more thing for you ladies to take care of…"
"Detective Greenly?"
The Irish detective inwardly cringed when he heard his name. He had just sat down at his desk after a long day out in the field and he still had a shit-ton of paperwork to do. Bottom line: now was not a good time.
"What is it Chaffey?" Greenly snapped and looked up the young officer. "Can't ya see I'm busy here?"
"I-I can see that, sir. But there are two people here that insist on seeing you right away."
Greenly sighed. "Well, what the fuck's Duffy doin'? Why can't you just them to him?"
"I tried, but these ladies only want to see you." Chaffey informed him, fighting back the smirk that threatened to appear on his lips and give away the whole thing.
This made the detective perk up. "Oh really? Huh, well then send 'em over."
Chaffey nodded and left to go do just that. And Greenly was already reaching for his breath spray.
"Well, hello there, Detective." The blonde woman said as she approached Greenly's desk with who he assumed was her sister.
Greenly couldn't help but stare as the pair sat down in the two chairs facing his desk .
"What can I do for you lovely ladies today? And please, take all the time you need. I am one hundred percent at your service."
The two women giggled and flashed him flirty smiles. "Well, thank you. That's very sweet of you." The dark haired one said and then proceeded to tell the detective the tragic story of their missing friend, Paulina.
Greenly only half listened to the sisters' story. He did his best to keep a sympathetic expression on his face throughout, trying to cover up the fact that he was basically undressing them with his eyes the entire time.
When they were finished, Greenly had them fill out a Missing Persons report, and assured the sisters that the Boston Police would do anything they could to help find their friend.
"Even if that means I have to go out and look for her myself."
They thanked him and stood up. And Greenly was fully intending watching them leave, until the blonde (Connie, he remembered) paused halfway to the front door and started back towards his desk.
"I know this really isn't an appropriate time or place," She leaned over and said in a hushed tone. "But I don't have any plans later and I was wondering if you'd—"
"Are you kidding me!?" The shrill cry from behind made both Connie and Greenly jump. They both turned to see Connie's sister, Maria, stomping towards them.
"Sorry sis, looks like you were too slow." Connie grinned.
"I can't even believe you! Do you always have to get a date outta every man we come across?!"
"Look, jus' because you're jealous doesn't mean—"
"Oh that's fucking right! I'm jealous—"
"Ladies! Ladies, please!" Greenly cut off their screams and moved in between them. "There's no need to fight. There's plenty of me to go around."
There was a slight pause for a second as the sisters exchanged a glance before bursting into a fit of incontrollable laughter.
Greenly was confused. "I-I don't get it? What's so funny?"
"You! Yer such a fuckin' idjit!"
Wait a second…did Connie just talk in an accent…a fucking Irish accent?! And why in the hell was the rest of the station joining in their fit of guffaws?
"I can't believe yeh fell fer tha' one!"
Then it hit him.
"Holy shit." Was all he could get out before a large hand came and clapped him hard on the shoulder.
"Gee Greenly, didn't know you swung that way." Smecker jeered over the chorus of laughter.
Conner and Murphy took off their wigs and tossed them at Greenly.
There was no way he was ever going to hear the end of this one…
A/N: Reviews are love! Thanks for reading!