Title: Shine
Original post date: 21st March 2006
Spoilers: none
Summary: The time has come for them to part ways because only then will they be able to become complete again.
Disclaimer: I don't own Lost or David Gray. Sadly. By the by, the David Gray song whose title and lyrics I have stolen is "Shine". Yeah.
So we'll walk down the shoreline one last time together…
'Hey,'
He knew something was up the moment the word passed her lips. Not that he hadn't already known anyway – but then it didn't exactly take a genius to figure it out. Even though it wasn't like he was an expert on matters such as this – but he'd certainly known for a long while now…
But he still felt apprehensive at the tone in her voice. He tried to mimic it with his own, overly casual, 'Hey.'
She shifted from foot to foot for a tense moment. 'Do you…want to go for a walk?'
How many conversations had they started with those same words? How many infinite walks had they taken together over the equally infinite time they had known each other? Too many to count, too many to remember.
Too many.
He managed a smile – barely.
'Okay,'
I can see it in your eyes
What I know in my heart is true
That our love it has faded
Like the summer run through…
The beach is as it always has been, the sand gritty and soft, pliant beneath their feet as they trudge through it. The sky is almost cerulean today. The colours here are so much brighter, have always seemed far too bright to be decent. They both squint against the brightness of the world as it infects them against their will – lightening their hearts despite the destiny they're about to live through.
As they walk in silence he recalls the time he picked her up and spun in circles, her arms around his neck and the softness of her breathless giggles against his cheek. They had both laughed openly that day for the first time in forever it seemed. The world had spun in dizzying circles, sand and ocean and jungle all melting together at the edges and he had staggered about under her weight, careering madly in a circle before crashing into the sand where she had laughed as he rained gentle kisses on her face.
His memory melted sharply into the blinding sun and all too soon there were tears on his face that had nothing to do with the searing glare on the horizon. She seemed to understand and touched a hand to his arm, squeezing gently.
'Shall we keep going?'
'No,' and he finally turns to look her in the eye. 'I think I know what it is you want to say to me.'
So we'll walk down the shoreline
One last time together…
She watches him steadily but he's certainly not imagining the sparkle in her eyes as she draws her hand from his arm and folds it across her body.
'Do you think it was ever meant to work between us?' she asks quietly.
'It worked!' he says immediately, indignantly. 'For a short while anyway.'
'You're right,' she reaches out hesitantly to touch him and next moment they're holding each other and she can only mumble into his shoulder. 'It did work for a while didn't it?' he feels her smile against his shoulder at some unseen memory.
'Maybe we just weren't meant to make it.'
'Maybe.'
'But we certainly had a good crack at it didn't we?'
'We did!' she laughs a little, trying to mask her sadness, and pulls back enough to look him in the eye. 'But maybe we're just destined for other things? Different loves…'
Feel the wind blow our wandering hearts like a feather
But who knows what's waiting in the wings of time?
His eyes are so much older now than they ever have been before. She supposes that the next time she sees him they'll be older again. After all, that's how it works isn't it?
She can't help but feel a little guilty for not crying as he touches his lips to hers for a final, oh-so-gentle kiss. He tastes the same as always. And his beard scratches at the softness of her skin, the same always. But this time it's not the same as always and they can both feel it.
The farewell of their lips is bittersweet. There is a mutual gasp for air and then she averts her eyes from his. She can't cry, not now. She has to be strong for this one time when she knows exactly what it is she wants.
And it's not that she doesn't love him, she'll always love him. It's just that there's something about this love that she doesn't need anymore. And there's something about it that he doesn't seem to need anymore either.
A long silence follows and she bites her lip. He speaks first, gazing down at her hands, clasped in both of his. 'Maybe we were just meant to guide each other? For a little while…'
'Maybe. I still love you all the same.'
'Yeah. Me too.' He sniffs and rubs his sleeve over his damp cheeks. 'God I'm acting like such a bloody girl...I'm sorry.'
She brushes his tears away gently and tries to smile for him one more time.
Dry your eyes.
We gotta go where we can shine.