Heeheeheeheehee...
Fooga: Forgive her - Jelly is on a major sugar high.
Me: I'M GOING TO BECOME QUEEN OF ANTARCTICA AND RULE IT WITH MY ARMY OF SWEDISH FISH AND PENGUINS!
Fairy Fang: *turns Antarctica into a real-life Candy Land with magical wand*
Fooga: I don't get paid enough for this...
DISCLAIMER OF AWESOMENESS: I do not own Maximum Ride, Cinderella, Seventeen Magazine, or anything else that I don't own.
Narrator: Once upon a time, in a not-so-magical land not-so-far away-
Nudge: *head peeks out behind curtain* ZOMG! I love fairy tales!
Narrator: Nudge, it's not your time yet.
Nudge: Okie dokie! *runs off*
Narrator: *sigh* As I was saying, once upon a time, in a not-so-magical land not-so-far away, there lived a man named Jeb with his daughter, Maxerella.
Max: *punches narrator* The name is Max, moron!
Narrator: Stick to the script!
Max: NOBODY TELLS ME WHAT TO DO!
Narrator: Um... okay. Jeb was looking for a wife because his old wife died and he needed more money to perform strange scientific experiments on random people.
Jeb: *evil laugh* I am JEB, the EVIL SCIENTIST!
Max: Dad, you're such a weirdo.
Narrator: Jeb finally married a nice lady doctor with two other daughters, Nudge and Ella. They were very nice but deathly afraid of the crazy Jeb.
Dr. Martinez: *cowers in corner with Nudge and Ella while Jeb performs deadly experiments*
Narrator: Finally, Dr. Martinez poisoned Jeb to get rid of him.
Dr. Martinez: *puts suspicious liquids in Jeb's coffee*
Jeb: *dies in an overly dramatic fashion*
Narrator: A few years passed and Nudge and Ella tormented Max every single day by trying to teach her about fashion trends and makeup and how to brush her hair.
Ella: Come on, Max! Just one look at Seventeen Magazine.
Max: NOOOOOOO! D:
Nudge: I think you may want to check out the 'How to get your friend from tom-boy to girly-girl!' section.
Ella: Okay... *flips through magazine, then stops* OMG! A picture of Taylor Lautner!
Nudge: Squee!
Max: *runs away*
Narrator: Meanwhile, on the other side of town, the richest (and hottest) boy in town, Fang, was hiding from millions of Fangirls in his gigantic house while talking to his brothers, Iggy and Gazzy.
Gazzy: C'mon, dude! We've got the COOLEST party planned for you.
Iggy: *fake french accent* And there will be lots of girls there, no?
Fang: Remember what happened last year?
-flashback-
Fang: *strangled yelp as quadrillions of girls try to claim him as their boyfriend and dance with him, flirt, etc.*
Gazzy: Do you think we should help him?
Iggy: *is dancing with some girl* Huh?
Gazzy: You're right, he'll be fine.
Fang: *gets accidentally pushed in the pool and all the girls frantically put on their bikinis and jump in to join Fang*
-end of Flashback-
Iggy: You got SO LUCKY! How could you not enjoy that?
Fang: *glare*
Gazzy: He's glaring at you, fo-shizzle.
Iggy: ?
Fang: I'm not going to my birthday party.
Gazzy: Go to the party and we'll be your servants for a week.
Iggy: Gazzy, no!
Gazzy: What?
Fang: *pout* Fine. I'll go.
Ella: Squee! Did you hear Fang is going to his birthday party this year? Iggy and Gazzy invited everyone in town!
Nudge: ZOMG! Really? Come help me plan my outfit! And yours! And Max's!
Max: OH NO. I am NOT going to some rich jerk's stupid party- *is dragged off, literally, by Nudge and Ella*
Narrator: And so, for the next three days, Ella and Nudge planned their outfits for the party, forcing Max to participate. They finally put together Max's outfit, and she actually started looking forward to going when she thought about the possibility of punching Fang in the face and making him miserable at the party.
Max: *evil grin*
Narrator: But then, on the night of the three-day party, something TERRIBLE happened.
Dr. Martinez: *accidentally locks Max in her room while she's still in it*
Ella: Where's Max?
Nudge: Guess she's not going.
Ella: Whatever.
Narrator: And so, Ella and Nudge went to the party and Dr. Martinez had a Vet Conference and was going to be gone for the next couple days.
Max: Well, I'd climb out the window, but it's not openable. Curse you, window!
Angel: *appears outside window and starts singing* If you really belieeeeeeve, you can go to the paaaaarty!
Max: Wait, this wasn't supposed to be a musical!
Jelly: *appears in a poof of smoke* The Swedish Fish were having troubles thinking of what Angel should say, so they're making her sing. Shh! It's her solo! *poofs away in a poof of smoke*
Angel: Ohhh, I can't remember the lyriiiiiiics, so thiiiiiiis is the eeeeeeeeend of the SOOOOOOOOOOOONG!
Max: Um, okay.
Angel: *suddenly appears inside room* So, Max, you want to go to that party?
Max: Only so I can punch 'Prince Fang' in the nose.
Angel: Well, I can help you get there. But you can't arrive at a party looking like that! *wands magical wand*
Max: *suddenly has Ugg boots, acid washed skinny jeans, and a lime green tank top on* Ugh. I hate these type of clothes.
Angel: Hmm... *waves wand again*
Max: *has hair brushed and shiny* !
Angel: Okay, that's good. Here's a lockpick - I think that's all you'll need. Later, Max! *poofs away*
Max: ...Okaaay? *unlocks door with lockpick and runs off to party*
Fang: *is dancing with a red-haired girl*
Lissa: *giggles nervously*
Fang: *grimace* Next girl, Gazzy!
Gazzy: OKAY! Rotate partners, people!
Lissa: BUT FANG AND I ARE MEANT FOR EACH OTHER! *is dragged off by security guards*
Fang: *is suddenly dancing with Brigid*
Brigid: *giggle*
Fang: Aren't you like, a 100 years old?
Brigid: I'm 21! How dare you say that, you- *is dragged away by security guards*
Fang: How many left, Gazzy?
Gazzy: I think that's it.
Fang: *phew*
-Max enters party, everybody falls into an awkward silence as dramatic spotlight is placed on Max*
Max: *walks up to Fang*
Fang: *sigh* I suppose you want to dance with me?
Max: Ugh, no. I want to punch you in the nose.
Fang: Please do. I'm sick of all the giggling.
Max: ...Wait. You're not gonna cue the security guards to drag me away?
Fang: Well, you don't have red hair, so no.
Max: Sweet. I'm not going to punch you in the nose, you're too cool for that.
Fang: *relieved look* Thanks.
Max: No problem.
Fang: So, wanna dance?
-lights fall, slow music starts to play-
Max: Nope. Sounds cheesy. Let's hit the snack bar instead.
Fang: ...*stunned silence, then grins* I like you!
Narrator: And they all live awesomely ever after.
Jeb: THE END! *evil cackle*
Ella: Stepdad, you're dead.
Jeb: How disappointing. *re-dies*
Max: Ever get the feeling Jelly is just giving us random dialogue?
Fang: *is eating pretzels* Whatever.
Jelly: *appears in a puff of smoke* SWEDISH FISH RULE!
THE END.
Me: *is stuffing mouth with Swedish Fish*
Fooga: Ack! No! She got to the candy again! *grapples candy out of Jelly's hands*
Me: GIVE ME CANDY. *foams at mouth*
Fooga: ...Fine. *gives candy back*
Me: *finishes off candy* Anyways, new news! I have created an army of Swedish Fish and...
Swedish Fish Minions: Puff, fish fish fish SIBERIAA!
R&R?