Riiiiiiing. Riiiiiiiing. Riiiiiiiiing.
Reid frowned as he hung up the phone, not even bothering to wait for the voicemail this time. Second time he'd called Gideon today, and the second time the man hadn't answered his phone.
He was supposed to have been here by now. The two of them had agreed to meet to play a game of chess in Gideon's office after work today – it was the first time Gideon had shown any interest in the game ever since Sarah's death. Reid had missed playing with him, and leapt at the offer.
But by the time eight o'clock rolled around, and Gideon was still a no show, Reid started to grow concerned. He'd called, heard the voicemail, and had considered leaving a message. But he was never very good with leaving messages, often getting cut off halfway through due to his rambling. So he simply hung up the phone, and hoped Gideon would see he'd received a call from him.
Now here it was, eleven-thirty at night, and still not a peep from the man.
Reid tried to remain calm. He ran through as many plausible explanations as he could think of for Gideon's absence.
He forgot we were supposed to meet today. He got caught up with work. He grabbed some dinner and ran a few errands that ran long. He went to Sarah's grave. Backed out of playing – just didn't feel as up for it as he thought he was.
Anytime a more frightening option crossed Reid's mind – an accident, being held up by an unsub, another episode taking hold – he quickly shoved it aside. Gideon was fine. He had to be.
Besides, considering he pretty much lived here now that he'd been chased out of his cabin and apartment by Garner and Breitkopf, respectfully, surely he'd have to be back shortly to sleep for the night. Right?
Right.
Reid stared at the chess board in front of him then, chin balanced on his fingers. He was so, so tempted to just begin the game on his own. He'd become quite good at playing himself over the years, both for his own enjoyment as well as in the hopes of learning how to beat Gideon.
He'd succeeded, too – there had been a couple games here and there over the years where he'd managed to outwit his mentor. Gideon had praised him in those moments, and their games had become less teaching lesson and more friendly competition ever since.
That had all changed recently, though. After Gideon lost Sarah, he hadn't been in the mood to play chess at all. Reid had tried to put the offer out there a couple times on occasional trips home from cases, hoping to perhaps cheer him up, take his mind off the pain he'd been feeling. But Gideon would brush him off every time.
"Not interested tonight, Reid, I'm sorry."
Reid could accept the lack of interest in playing. After such a tragic event, who would be in the mood for lighthearted games and fun? He dropped the offer, and gave Gideon his time and space.
The way Gideon dismissed his offer, however…that's what troubled Reid. Gideon's voice sounded flat, void of any emotion.
That was nothing new, though. He'd sounded like that for some time of late, with any and everything. And it wasn't just the change in tone Reid had noticed recently. Gideon's eyes, previously full of emotion and curiosity, were often blank now, his expression implying his mind wasn't fully there anymore. The recent case in Flagstaff with the college students had only further seemed to drive him into whatever dark place he'd been going lately, if his behavior on the trip home afterward was any indication.
Another major depressive episode seemed to be on the horizon, and as much as Reid dreaded the thought of his mentor going through that hell yet again, he'd learned to brace himself for the possibility.
Which was what made Gideon's offer to Reid last week to play a game of chess all the more surprising.
Reid had been looking forward to the meeting all weekend. Maybe, just maybe, Gideon was going to be okay. Maybe this was a sign he was starting to move on. Reid may have had no firsthand experience with the death of a loved one, but he was more than willing to offer whatever support or advice he could tonight during his time with Gideon, and was willing to be there in case his mentor wanted to talk.
So at five pm, when everyone else went home, Reid headed up to Gideon's now cluttered office and settled into a big chair (which he'd turn over to the other man, once he arrived).
And he waited.
And waited.
And now, at eleven-forty at night, he continued to wait some more.
Yep. This was going to be a long, long night.
ooo
1:10 am
Did he dare call again?
It was so late – there was no way Gideon would've still been out at this hour. Not unless it was for something important, something serious. Mind, it was often quite rare for anyone in the BAU to be in bed before eleven at the earliest, but virtually all of Gideon's important things were here. If he wasn't going to sleep here tonight, where was he going to sleep?
He hadn't yet called Gideon's apartment, or his cabin. Was it worth giving those places a try, just in case?
Maybe I should get a hold of Garcia. She might be able to tell me where he went.
Reid dismissed that idea almost as quickly as he'd thought of it, though. Garcia tended to get rather…panicky…at the possibility that one of her teammates might be missing, or hard to reach. Reid wasn't really in the mood to put her though that right now. Besides, if he did need to call anyone else on the team, Hotch was likely his best bet. The man knew Gideon inside and out. He knew better than anyone else where the man might likely have wound up, and knew how to handle whatever mindset Gideon might've been in.
No. Reid was being silly. Maybe Gideon did get up the nerve to go to his apartment tonight after all. Maybe he'd become tired of sleeping in his office, and longed for a comfortable bed. Reid hoped Gideon hadn't been sleeping in this chair the entire time he'd been living here – if he had, Reid certainly wouldn't blame the man for eventually preferring an actual bed to this random piece of furniture.
And if Gideon was at his apartment or cabin, Reid didn't really have the heart to wake the guy.
Why wouldn't he call and let me know that he was at one of those places, though?
Why should he? He doesn't have to answer to you. You're not his parent.
Reid stared at the chess board again. All the while, he kept a tight grip on his phone.
ooo
2:43 am
The rapidly flipping pages echoed throughout the office. Reid couldn't help but briefly marvel at how the most unassuming of sounds became amplified when surrounded by silence elsewhere.
He was working his way through a small stack of books about birds that had sat on Gideon's desk. He'd just begun the third in the stack. Gideon had occasionally discussed his interest in birds with Reid in the past, even sharing a little information on some of his personal favorites. He especially liked a certain kind that was often seen in the woods near his cabin. Reid had always enjoyed listening to Gideon go on about birds – it was nice to be around someone else who had their own particular interests, who wasn't afraid to express their passion for certain topics.
Besides, Gideon had certainly listened patiently many a time as Reid rambled on about his favorite mathematical concepts or intriguing scientific breakthroughs and studies, after all. He felt it only fair to reciprocate.
And as Reid pored over the books, he felt he was truly beginning to understand and share Gideon's fascination with birds. He'd known a fair amount about the topic, too, nature had always been another area of interest for him. But of course, he was always eager to learn something new when he could, too, and these books did quite well in quenching his thirst. The detailed information on their lifespans and habits and abilities, the array of colors and sounds, the different families – it never ceased to amaze Reid how varied nature could be.
To say nothing of what birds represented. The desire to spread one's wings, to travel to parts unknown. Birds were free to go wherever they pleased whenever they pleased. Often, they traveled together, but sometimes, they flew alone, off on their own path.
Reid smiled at the thought of being able to discuss all of this information with Gideon down the line, added it to the list of things they could bond over. Maybe they could even go on a bird-watching expedition together sometime.
Yeah. That sounded nice.
On to the next book.
ooo
3:20 am
Was he stupid for staying here so long?
Reid found himself pondering that question quite deeply the longer he thought about it. He'd never really been good at taking the hint whenever someone tried to send a message with their actions and social cues in the past. Most people, by this point in the night, would've gone home. Hell, they would've left by midnight.
A twenty-five year old man sitting in a darkened office waiting for his mentor to come back? It felt kind of pathetic.
Scratch that. It was pathetic. The only other time Reid had ever done something like this was back when he was ten. He'd spent a couple weeks sitting in darkened hallways, or curled up on the couch in the living room, waiting for the familiar click of the door and the sound of his dad's voice. Occasionally, when he crept into the living room, he caught his mom sitting there, too, and they both stayed up, waiting.
His mom read a lot of books to him on those nights.
But Gideon wasn't his dad. He didn't just have Reid to answer to. There were five other people who would want to know where he was as well, one of whom was his boss.
Before the panic attack in the bullpen that put Gideon on medical leave, nobody had seen him for two days. He'd been holed up at home, sitting on his couch, doing absolutely nothing, he said.
But he still came back after those two days, and still let them know where he'd been and what he'd done. And he'd been ill, so it was forgivable, understandable. Reid's father, on the other hand, wasn't ill, mentally, emotionally, or physically. He'd left a measly letter, and never showed his face again. It made much more sense to wait around for someone who would come back, and cared about people, than someone who wouldn't, and didn't.
And being an adult didn't mean you stopped worrying about or missing people. He would've done this for any of his teammates if they'd been in Gideon's shoes. Wouldn't he?
Of course he would.
Still, as the minutes passed, Reid started to imagine his own bed, his soft pillows, being curled up under a nice, warm blanket…being able to actually stretch out and lay down…
He looked at his watch.
Yeah, he really should've gone home a few hours ago.
ooo
4:45 am
Now Reid was absolutely certain he should call Hotch. No matter how much of a positive spin he tried to put on Gideon's absence, he just couldn't shake the knot that had been steadily growing in his stomach for the past five hours.
Reid glanced around the office yet again, taking in the piles of boxes. He'd never noticed until now how so many of them remained unopened. In fact, most of them were still taped up, and the tape appeared untouched altogether.
The diplomas and certificates still hung on the wall. There were so many of them…. Will my walls look that full someday?
Gideon's desk still looked its typically messy self. Files set in the corner, little trinkets scattered about, his book of victims right in the center…
Reid got up then, and took a moment to stretch out his limbs. Once he'd stumbled over to the desk, he leaned against it, and took a few minutes to flip through the contents. He'd seen snippets of pages in the past, but never got a good look at the full thing.
Gideon's meticulousness and memory were impressive. So many names, so many photos, so many specific years and dates written down.
Some of the victims were alive and well. Reid smiled briefly as he gazed down at Tracey Belle's toothy grin. And some, unfortunately, they never got to in time. Reid took a few moments to stare at Sarah's photo. She was pretty. And she seemed quite nice, if the way Gideon talked about her was anything to go by.
It's not fair. Not fair at all.
Reid's stomach tightened even further as he came across Rebecca Garner's picture. The team had saved her. Reid had nearly caused himself and his teammates to die in a burning house just to get her to safety.
Then in a cruel twist of fate, Breitkopf came along and added her to his own list of victims. The irony was so absurd, it'd be laughable if it weren't so damn horrific. No wonder Gideon's struggling again.
Reid looked back at the spot on the chair where his phone lay.
He'd give Gideon until work started this morning to arrive. If he didn't show up by then, Reid would talk to Hotch.
ooo
5:30 am
Reid jolted awake, letting out a small gasp. He gripped the arm of the chair as he gathered his bearings, took in his surroundings.
Still no Gideon. Reid squinted at his watch again.
A solid half hour's worth of sleep. Fantastic.
He was somewhat grateful for the disruption, though. Stopped an incredibly weird dream that seemed to be heading down a scary path. Something about Gideon standing in the middle of a street, Reid at the other end, and they couldn't get to each other for some reason. And there was a creepy laugh coming from…somewhere.
Reid tried to curl in tighter in the chair, but realized quickly that was not going to feel good upon waking up. He stretched his legs out, feet resting on the floor. He attempted to use his satchel as a pillow, but there was too much stuff inside for it to feel comfortable.
Finally, he rested his head atop his hand, taking one last glance towards the office window.
There seemed to be a little movement starting up in the building for the day. Reid continued to cling to any remaining hope he still held, as he slowly drifted back to sleep.
This was the part of her job JJ hated the most.
She had to wake her friends far too early in the morning yet again. It was post sunrise, sure, but even that seemed too early, especially with cases like this current one. She had to ignore their pleas for "just five more minutes" worth of sleep, knowing that most of the time, they'd likely just fallen asleep only three, four hours ago at best, the chances being quite good that something or other had kept them up most of the night before.
And now here she was once again, preparing to add to the nightmares and horrible images that made them toss and turn at night. Sometimes when she made these calls, she tried to ease her guilt by telling herself she could've interrupted one of those nightmares, just before it got to the scariest part.
She had to prepare to tell them there was yet another bad guy out there causing trouble and pain for innocent people, and in the case of this particular bad guy, his crimes were especially abhorrent. She wouldn't tell them the details over the phone, though. Nobody needed to be greeted with graphic descriptions of women's hearts being carved out of their chests first thing upon waking up.
This particular morning, however, JJ had been surprised to find she'd only managed to get through to two of her teammates. Morgan had sounded groggy and a little annoyed when he answered, but JJ's serious, weary tone snapped him into alert mode in no time.
Garcia had whimpered a little upon hearing JJ's voice – this was going to be an ugly one, she knew, and JJ's heart ached at having to mess with her friend's view of the world even more. But despite Garcia's anxiousness, she was up and moving in seconds, muttering something about getting this scumbag all the while. JJ knew her flirty banter and desk decorations would be especially noticeable today, however, and she was more than okay with that.
She supposed she should've been thankful she didn't have to go through a similar dreadful process with the other team members. But she wasn't. Instead, any worry JJ should've felt over the case was now transferred to her friends she hadn't been able to reach.
Hotch always answered her calls without fail. Always. He was the boss, he was the first one she called every time, both to confirm they were taking the case and to occasionally divide up notification duties. He'd recently been suspended, sure, but if she knew Hotch, she knew he would've been eager to get right back to work whenever he could. Frankly, she was amazed he'd let his suspension last as long as it had. But if he had to negotiate with Strauss to return, well…
Maybe he came into work early? She'd tried calling his office, too, but no answer there, either. She hoped it was just because he was on his way, or got caught in a traffic jam, or was indeed there and talking to Strauss right now.
Gideon hadn't answered, either, and JJ had a sinking suspicion as to why that was. He'd come back to work after Sarah's death, but even she, a non-profiler, could tell his heart and mind just wasn't in it most days, could see the toll each new case continued to take on him. His breakdown after Bale a couple years back had been notable and dramatic, and JJ sensed it was only a matter of time before history repeated itself.
No answer from Emily, either. Her phone just kept going to voicemail, forcing JJ to leave a message. That was concerning. Emily was not a morning person by any stretch, JJ knew that, but her loyalty and determination always overrode any longing for sleep. And this was a case involving women being violently attacked. That alone would've been enough to spur Emily into action once she heard the message JJ left. She also would've assuredly contacted JJ by now, apologizing profusely for missing her call and babbling out some explanation as to why.
Yet there hadn't been a single peep from her thus far. JJ frowned as she glanced at her phone again. Not even a text. She tried once more as she made her way into the building, and growled as she heard the familiar voicemail once again.
"Hello, Emily, it's, ah, it's just me again. Just wanting to know where you are. Please give me a call when you can. Please? It's very important." She tried to keep the irritation out of her voice, but it'd edged its way in anyway. Afterward, JJ looked at the next name on her contact list.
Reid.
His phone was silent, too, and that was equally troubling to JJ, but for different reasons.
Ever since Georgia, she had been keeping a closer watch on her friend. It hadn't escaped her notice he'd been…struggling…in the last few months, after all, as he dealt with the aftermath of being held captive by Hankel. To her relief, it had begun looked like he'd started to return to his old self a little bit of late, thanks in no small part to Hotch and Gideon's help, as well as the rest of the team's support.
Still, this job had shown JJ just how difficult kicking an addiction could be for some people, and her inability to get a hold of Reid this morning had JJ beginning to fear the worst. She didn't want to go there with her thoughts in regards to him this morning – she already had enough running through her mind as it was – but regardless, she was quite tempted to turn around and drive to Reid's place anyway. Either that, or call Morgan and tell him to stop and check in with him on his way to work.
JJ also knew Reid had been keeping his own close eye on Gideon of late, and had noticed the same troubling changes in his behavior that she'd observed. Combine those two problems, and JJ's concern increased even more, to the point where she found herself praying she'd see Reid at his desk when she walked in, coffee in hand and nose in his stack of files.
No such luck, though. Her stomach dropped as she entered the bullpen, scanning for any sign of her teammates. Morgan and Garcia had arrived, greeting her before heading off to their own morning routines, but otherwise, the place appeared eerily quiet and empty overall.
Where the hell are they? Were she, Morgan, and Garcia really going to be the only ones here today? Would they even be able to work this case, just the three of them? As much as she dreaded dealing with the particular horrors this case would bring, she couldn't bear to call the local officials and tell them they wouldn't be able to help save these women after all.
JJ hurried up the stairs, noticing Hotch's still-darkened office, and her stomach lurched a little further. Bad sign, for sure. She was about to go back downstairs and seriously consider asking Garcia to track the rest of the team and their whereabouts…until she caught a glimpse into the window of Gideon's office, and saw a familiar person inside. JJ let out a massive sigh of relief, and hoped the place was unlocked.
The doorknob turned easily in her hand. Thank God. She tiptoed into the room, minding the clutter all the while. Her eyes zeroed in on the chair in the midst of the mess and chaos, and the figure that lay sound asleep in it.
She'd found Reid.
His head rested in his hand, his long, curly hair messy and draped around his face. His legs were stretched out in front of him, and JJ briefly wondered if he'd actually tried to fold his entire body into the chair at one point during his nap.
If it was a nap. Please tell me he's only been here a couple hours at most…
Somehow, though, JJ doubted that was the case, especially considering whose office this was. She continued her quiet maneuvering, eventually coming to stand in front of Reid. Despite the slight signs of worry in his brow, despite the overall unsettling nature of the picture before her, JJ couldn't help but let a small smile slip all the same.
He looks rather adorable when he's sleeping. Waking him in person was clearly going to be more difficult than waking him with a phone call. But it had to be done. JJ snapped herself out of her wandering thoughts, and leaned just the slightest bit forward.
"Reid?" she began in a gentle voice, watching as his brows furrowed at the sound of her voice. She continued. "What are you doing here?"
What does she mean, "what am I doing here?" What's JJ doing in my room?
Reid blinked as he woke, attempting to regain focus. He first saw JJ, her face soft yet full of concern, then noticed the messy office, felt the ache and stiffness of his body against the cramped chair.
Oh. Right.
He adjusted his watch then, briefly noting the current time, as he tried to hide his blush at being discovered here. "Gideon didn't answer his phone. I called him twice." You haven't heard from him, have you?
"Have you been here all night?" Her suspicions had been correct. She supposed, at least, that this was better than whatever else she'd feared he'd been doing last night – but not by much.
"We were supposed to play chess." Reid gestured to the board in front of him, and JJ's heart broke for him a little more. Oh, Reid…
"Here?" She was lucky she'd found a place to stand. Gideon's office was never the neatest place in the world, mind, but this was ridiculous. It was no secret he'd been living here since Sarah's death, and she knew there wasn't a lot of room for his things…but he'd barely unpacked any of the boxes he'd brought in. Almost – almost as though he wasn't planning to stick around long.
It hadn't escaped her notice at that particular moment that his pictures were all gone, either.
Reid's voice interrupted JJ's thoughts. "Yeah. Uh, yeah, he hasn't been back to his apartment since, um…" Gideon had had a hard time acknowledging Sarah's death thus far, and Reid in turn couldn't quite bring himself to speak of it, either. It didn't feel appropriate.
The red flags were flying at full mast in JJ's mind now. If Gideon hadn't even come back to sleep in his office last night…
She simply nodded to Reid, though, claiming momentary forgetfulness. "Right."
"Is Hotch here?"
The hint of anxiousness in his eyes told JJ how to answer. She couldn't bear to add further to his worry and concern.
"Uh, he's not due for a half hour." She smiled, hoping her expression was reassuring.
Fortunately, that explanation seemed to placate Reid for the moment, and the two soon headed off in the direction of the conference room. JJ had collected half of the remaining six team members. Now they just needed to find the other half. Somehow, though, she sensed that was going to be easier said than done.
Remain calm. We'll find them. They'll come back.
JJ's expression remained neutral as she tried to hold back a sigh.
Yep. This was going to be a long, long day.
As always, reviews/critiques/etc. are appreciated.
