Again, This is an entry for Competition of WORST FANFIC at my Society at Uni. We were told think My Immortal but worse. I don't think i successfully managed to hit My Immortal standard but I tried.

This is supposed to be a Joke, I know it is horrible and it kills me to upload this for everyone to see and with all its spelling and grammar mistakes but I have to if I want to win my competition. And I wanna Win!

Enjoy this horrifically Bad Fanfic

(Again So SO SO sorry)

So like, It was a normal day at Hogwarts for the most part, I mean the sky was blue, sun was shining, the whomping willow was casually attacking the first years stupid enough to attempt to get shade under its branches. It was normal. You know...

Until it wasn't

Dumbledore had been acting weird; he was happy and giddy, like a child with too much sugar. And at dinner that night we soon learnt why.

"Listen up yo! I have some bizzle to share with my peeps!" Dumbledore roared from his golden pumper thing at the front of the hall! "I is proud to annonce to y'all we ave a new player on our midst!"

It was at this point he waved his arms frantically at the back of the hall and filch flinched like he had been shot before throwing open the doors to reveal...

A boy!

Dumbledore squealed like a fan girl on helium, too giddy to even care bout the rest of us, as he stared at the boy in the doorway!

"Welcome to hogwizzle Mr Macho! I is sure you done gonna be da shit in dese ere halls!"

The boy simply rolled his red eyes, but dey looked real, not contacts or nuffin! As he started to walk down the little space between the tables, (AN:- you know da place da first years all walk down in dat first movie)

It was at dis point dat everyone and I mean like everyone, like even Malloy and stuff began noticing just how pretty dis new boy actually was. He had black hair, long for a boy and bushy, with a big fringe that seeped across his forehead into his eyes, like an emo fringe but cooler ya know! His skin was pale, but like with an tan. And his eyes, which were the striking red (AN- yes real red) they looked so cool like vampire eyes! And then we saw what he was wearing! He was wearing the real tight skinny jeans that hugged his ankles and legs da whole way but he wasn't one of dese skinny legged idiots who can't actually were skinny jeans, he suited them. And the jeans were dark black, not just black but like extra black, with a Tshirt that stretched tight across him, it was a navy black, with a fancy design and some words in some foreign language written on it, and he wore a black leather jacket! He looked hot aF! And it was having an effect on like all the females! And some males!

Malloy was staring open mouthed with his fist digging into dat guy Blaises shoulder, it looked like it hurt! Cho Chang was eyeing him up like a rabid hyena!

Hermione was trying not to stare but failing miserably! Even Harry and Ron looked to be doubting their sexuality over da newbie!

When he reached the front, he stood with his hands in his back pockets staring up at dumbledore out from under neaf his fringe, and mumbled just loud enough for the whole room to hear, "lo que aún estoy escribiendo ?"

Dumbledore like melted against that gold possum thing! He was like a dog in Heat! He giggled like a schoolgirl before he announced, "well SEÑOR macho, you be in da house SLYTHERIN yo!" Der was a massive cheer abrupt the slytherin table as da newbie just sighed and sashayed his way to a seat that was totally beside Draco! Because Draco needed to kno mo about dis boy.

Draco like totally was a complete sweethart to the newbiw boy macho or whatever for the rest of the night, and crabbe and goyle and even that guy Bblaise were all beginning to notice. Draco showed him round and told him all the best places to hide out from classes, and bpoasted of all his successes at Hogwarts which like we all know are s lot! Crabbe and Goyle and Blaise didn't like the newbie, they didn't even know his name!

The next day, the new boy showed up down at breakfast before nay of da other slytherr-ins. It was here that Harry, Ron and Herminone introduced themselves like the good little suck ups that they were. "Hey, my names harry and I may look cool and be the child that defeated Voldemort but actually I am a real pain in thee ass and horribly insecure cause I sffered years of dabuse" said Harry. "My names Ron, Ii have middkle child syndrome to the extreme because im the youngest son of like seven, seriously my mum couldn't keep her legs shut or something" adfmitted Ron. "Well My name is Hermione Granger" said Hermione simply. They all looked at the new boy in anticipation!

"Me llamo Antonio" the new boy, Antoine said in a sexy Spanish accent. "I am thee new transfer stydent, I use to go to school in Spain but my parents were murdered and I hadf to come to Hogwarts…."

"Mmy parents were killed too" whined Potter.

"Nobody cares Potter!" chimed in Draco, "and why are you tormenting the new guy with all your stupidity?"

Antonio just sighed, again.(AN- He did that a lot apparently) and whispered under his breath, "Por el amor de Dios, no soy un niño"

Everyone looked at him, and he BANGED him head on the table. "See Your Annoying him!" screamed Draco before pulling Antonio away to the Slytherin table.

Later on, Draco asked to meet with Antonio in private, and when they met up he locked the door behind them. He pushed Antonio up against the wall and kissed him passionately. "I don't know who you are but you've captured my heart, I never knew I was Gay before you" Draco kissed Antonio again, but Antonio pushed him away and repeated "Por el amor de Dios, no soy un niño" before running out of yhe room.

But when he ran out of the roomhe ran straighjt into Ron and Harry who were having a fight.

"He'll never love you, You saw the way he looked at me! He wants me!" shouted ron while he threw a punch at Harry's Head. "Yeah wellI have more in common with him, we have a shared history that's something youll never manage" Retorted Harry while dodging the punch!

"Ayos Mio, Que Esta pasando?" demanded Antonio only to be met by both boys looking at him in horror as they both fell to their knees and professed their love for him and begged him to date them!

Antonio just grabbed his luscious hair and yelled to the sky, "Por el amor de Dios, yo no soy un niño!"

Before running off to find someone who would understand him! He Ran all the way out to the courtyard where he ran headfirst into Hermione!

"Hermione, You have to help me! Todo el mundo piensa que soy un niño" begged the newbie, and it was only then that Hermione, who actually spoke a little Spanish Realised what he had been saying all along

She gasped, "Your not a boy?"

"SI YES I AM NOT A BOY"

"I don't understand but everyone calls you senor!"

"That was Dumbledore being a dick, he knows How much I hate that!"

"So you are actuakly a girl?"

"Yes my name is Antoniioa! Bbut all the boys are professing their love to me! But I am not a boy and I am not Straight!"

"That does seem to be a bother" Mused Hermione! She had a coy look on her face, one of mischief!

"So if your not Straight, what are you?"

"I am how do you say, Soy lesbian"

"Good!" Smiled Hermione, "Then you can be all mine!" she said as she threw her books to the ground and jumped into Antoniioa's arms kissing her!

At this stage, Ron, Draco and Harry all appeared, and all looked very confused!

Breaking the kiss Hermione shouted to them, "This bitch be mine Boy!"

And they all lived happily ever after.