CRUMBLING SALVATION

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.

Warnings: Language, both religious and anti-religious concepts

Spoilers: Right to the end of the series

"Amen," the People did cry. "Our Saviour, how we adore Thee. He who Wields the Sword of Justice, He, who protects us from Evil, He who shields the Pure, He who brings us to Salvation..."

The people did cry for a God because they like believing that in their inevitable decomposition, they are Eternal.

Ryuk, he was a god. He doesn't comprehend the human invention called "Salvation" or what fuck, but he knew how to kill. That was why he was a god, because the People, they didn't matter and he did. The People's life-span's were the only oxygen that Ryuk did breath, and so long as he had his Death Note for heaving lungs then he would keep breathing. He wasn't a Predator either, because no one is a murderer for breathing. Ryuk did what he had to do, and he was a god.

But not the kind of God that the people did cry for. The People don't want someone who saw them as organic matter only good for feeding and occasional amusement, the People want a God with Promises. The People desire Poetry and Ideals and Righteousness, so that they might feel Inspiration and Passion. The People want Salvation.

The People wanted Light Yagami.

Ryuk learned a lot about humans when he came up from the Shinigami Realm. Like an ant farm, they all have their places and their own, ultimately insignificant purposes. But he grew undeniably fond of Light Yagami (and why would he deny it, anyway? He wasn't a dumb, evasive human, he was Something Else). Light Yagami had no real purpose back then, no pressing task. He was a kid and he was studying for something only the smart ones can study for. More than anything, Light Yagami must have been a daydreamer, a Poet, a brilliant mind that is prisoner to dancing Muses.

"Ryuk... please, please, Ryuk. Help me, Ryuk! Please!"

Ryuk, he was a god. He knew how to kill.

"You are Kira, Light. We have evidence now," the white-clad boy says without much Passion. "We will submit you before the Law, and you will never see daylight again. I suggest you stop struggling, you're losing a lot of blood."

"Write their names, Ryuk! You're the only one I can rely on!" Begging, a broken Daydreamer. Tear-streaked young face, skin still smooth though it is distorted in terror, the red blood, it flows down his dark suit. The ones without Passion are the ones that slap the Daydreams away. But Light Yagami still sees Salvation.

He sees Salvation in Ryuk.

Ryuk is pretty sure that humans make up some funny shit. He was bored and Light was bored and so in a way they became partners. The only difference was that he was only in it to have a good time and have some fun. But Light found his purpose in the anthill, his purpose was to compose an incandescent, shining symphony where Justice would Reign Like A Deity and he would be the Saviour, he would save those poor people from the bastards.

Or something like that.

"Amen," the People, they sing. "Amen, for he will Judge the Righteous to Heaven and Damn the Wicked to Hell..."

Heaven and Hell, humans loved that shit. A place that is white and golden embraces those with pure hearts. It is like a Mother, clutching her most precious babies, breathing a gentle sigh and a 'I'll be here for you forever'. The scent of Apple trees (for Ryuk was very fond of apples, he imagined that such a place ought to smell like them). And then the other place, where the babe is tossed into the bonfire and abandoned, a 'I never wanted you, you can die here.' There were the fruitless screams of agony, but never silence because certainly this life-after-death body never Decomposed. This was the best that Ryuk could figure for it.

And he was pretty sure that humans make up some funny shit. (And he told Light that since he used the Death Note, he became One Who Judged and Not One Who Is Judged, he wouldn't go to either place!)

"Help me, Ryuk! You're the only one I have left! Write their names, I swear then you'll never be bored again!" That boy is pleading, on his knees because there are already bullets in his body. His eyes are hungry and desperate like a Shinigami who realizes that She has not been Breathing life-spans enough, and her Time is up. But Shinigami, they don't cry because that function is not included in their mechanics. Light Yagami cries, because even though he is the Fallen Saviour, he is just a young human and he is scared.

"Okay, Light. I'll write a name." Ryuk is laughing, cackling from his throat because he is happy. He is not very bored at all right now, and this pleases him. This has been the most exciting thing that he's seen, and Light is his Muse, and he knows a way that will make the boy Inspire him even more.

He takes out his Death Note and a hollowed bone-like pen. But he will not write the names of Light's attackers. Light is the Saviour, not he. He is just here for a good time.

And really, the truth is (because Ryuk has no reason to lie, he is no human, he is Something Else), he rather loves Light Yagami. Because of that, if the people, if he killed them, then his own Existence might be undone. Ryuk is a god who still wants to be Eternal. Not because he is afraid of a Heaven or a Hell is his own afterlife (oh, what the fuck!) but because he simply would rather continue this Existence.

But he will write a name. He writes those Japanese symbols that he sees with his Eyes, they are above that boy's head, his Name. Names are the only things that makes Humans so very Human, and not because they are special. Instead it is because they are Conceited, and they need this Name to feel as though they are Alive. This Word becomes their Identity. Even though the Shinigami calls himself 'Ryuk', there is no word above his head because it is just a word. A Death Note can only kill a Human.

It is because humans, they strive off of Belief, that Shinigami live. Shinigami don't believe much at all, but if they consume the Beliefs of others, then they can Believe that they will Continue to Exist for a little bit longer.

Belief.

'Light Yagami.'

"Amen. Deliver us from Evil, O Lord."

"No...No! Stop! Stop, stop!" Light, he cries out. Almond shaped eyes widen and oh, his terror drenching him, he knows what is coming. "No, Ryuk! Not that! Fix it, fix it! Not my name!"

Light's name will kill him for sure. An Idealist, they have beliefs. Ryuk chuckles as he answers. "It's too late, you know better than anyone that once it's in there, that's that. Anyway I look at it, you're still the one who's going to lose. And I don't want to wait around in prison for you to die so I can go home... well, we killed some boredom, didn't we, Light? We did some fun things."

"Please! Please Ryuk! Please! I don't wanna die!" Crying openly now, bloody hands clenching into panic-stricken fists. Tousled hair is no longer neatly combed, it is long and wild as it falls in strands over his ashen face. The features in the face know that they are done for, and they have less than Forty Seconds to paint an expression, but the Eyes, they are praying. They are begging, an untamed fire underneath a rainstorm of tears.

Ryuk isn't sorry (Why should he be sorry? He is Something Else).

...But he rather fancies that he himself was a bit of a Saviour after all (he has been Inspired by Light perhaps a little too much). Just a little bit. Because he's figured out something about the human world, and that is, they are worthless, cruel, hilarious and brutal. All they do is scream about Justice and pretend that their Purpose is correct, really, really it is!, and then they are just like the other animals slashing each other to bits. Only, they are stupider because the Animals, at least they live in peace if they can, but Humans, they have to follow their Beliefs.

Truthfully, Ryuk's ready for the finale, and it's time to go home.

The white-clad boy is redundant now, and Ryuk thinks that's enough for tonight. The white-clad boy wants to capture his Light Yagami, and he wants to put those bloody hands in shackles and take him away somewhere dark and secluded. He wants to lock away a Muse, and those Eyes that were once so full of Daydreams and Poetry, they will sink into foggy nothingness (Ryuk knows this, he's killed those sort of people before). And Ryuk, he doesn't lie, he's selfish and he doesn't really want to see Light like that.

Light lost. It was a fun enough game, but this was it for him. Light is in despair in his last few seconds, but what he doesn't understand is that this is Ryuk's mercy to him. A love that a Shinigami understands, at least.

Saviours are Merciful. So maybe Ryuk is a bit of a hero yet.

"Please...Ryuk... save me."

"It's too late, I can't cancel the name in the Death Note now." Ryuk is grinning, because that boy, he is the most exciting thing that he has ever seen, especially right now. And yeah, Ryuk kind of loves him. "Goodbye, Light Yagami."

Three. Two. One. Light clutches his heart, he is in agony as it squirms and it burns.

The white-clad boy is watching with wide eyes. Ryuk can hazard a guess on what this human, Nate River, is thinking - that this is justice, that Kira should die by his own method from the Shinigami that gave him this power. The sword of Justice, without the poetry.

But This Is Not Justice.

Ryuk watches as Light spasms, that slender body that did his genius, calculated biddings for so long, screams out for mercy (but this is the mercy). Ryuk, he didn't exactly feel pain like humans did, but the heart attack would be over soon enough so he did not pity this. Light's lips are parted as he struggles to breath, wild brown irises try to focus on something, anything, but they won't. They will never Fade into something Dead, until they are really and truly Dead. The white-clad boy doesn't know this, but in Ryuk's mind the last memories of Light his eyes will be Dancing with life.

(It is funny that we are the most alive when we are close to dying. That's why when Light became Kira, he was more alive than he had ever been. Ryuk of course had never been in any personal danger, but being by this Muse was enough.)

But the Muse falls to the ground, a look of Disbelief on his face, and he is through.

Disbelief.

The "Amen" is hushed for him now, though how it must ring still for Nate River!

And now that Light is finished, Ryuk doesn't really have a reason to be in this stupid, boring, self-centered place anymore, so Ryuk spreads his leathery wings and he, he is going on his way home.

He is flying above the city, seeing all the people below. Their names, their lifespans - but that's it. Ryuk, he is a god and he knows how to kill. But Ryuk, he is no messenger of punishment. He doesn't give a fuck what the people do, and he doesn't give a fuck what their twisted human ethics are. He doesn't see their charities and their sins above their heads. Nah, he kills them without that crap.

Because they all die. If Ryuk doesn't kill them, something else will. All he cares about is the name and the lifespan. They will die. They will die. They are tiny, insignificant humans. Ryuk has learned a lot from living with Light in the human world. He learned that humans like to think that they are correct.

That they are on the path of righteousness.

That they are justice.

Blah fucking blah, Ryuk wants an apple. He thinks that humans believe in some pretty dumb things.

Light didn't go to Heaven or Hell, just like no one else did. Because they don't exist. Light's body will decompose like the organic matter that it is, just like Naomi Misora and L Lawliet and Soichiro Yagami, and whoever, all of them. Light was not Judged, only humans think they can do dumb shit like that. In Death we are all Equal. The humans don't like to Believe that, but who cares? They find out inevitably.

Why the hell would Ryuk cast a judgment? He's not a human. He is Something Else. He is Above them and He Knows That Justice Is Bullshit.

But like humans, Ryuk is also an indefinite being, and one day he won't have any Belief left to stay alive either. And then he also will fade into nothingness, and that will be that.

...What Ryuk doesn't understand most of all is why humans don't think that This Nothingness is Salvation. Ryuk, he likes that he knows that ultimately he'll return to what he came from; he thinks it's comforting. Because Ryuk is not a Predator, he just likes to Breath. And on the day that it's over, he thinks that it'll be relaxing to not feel anything.

He has arrived at the Gate to the Shinigami Realm. He steps into it, and turns to give a last glance at the world of the humans.

"Amen," they sing. "Our Saviour, how we adore Thee. He who Wields the Sword of Justice, He, who protects us from Evil, He who shields the Pure, He who brings us to Salvation..." ."

Then he crosses the gate. He does not look back behind him.

End

Author's Notes:

1. I did not use the exact script for the dialogue. I picked out parts and pieces, but I did so on purpose. This isn't a re-enactment of Light's final moments, it's an analysis on the themes of Death Note. I hope this inconsistency doesn't bother anyone.

2. I attempted to write this piece with musical composition in mind - like an old poem. That's why certain words are capitalized and emphasized for a reason (though at other parts of this story, they are not capitalized for another reason).

3. I do believe that ultimately, Death Note's conclusion is that "justice" is only a concept relative from human to human. Outside of the human race (Ryuk), and beyond our short lives, it doesn't matter. In death we are equal. So this is what I was trying to interpret. But again, I wanted to do so more poetically, in which case Ryuk seems an unlikely narrator. If I were writing in my usual style, I would try to capture his character more literally... alas, here, he is just a symbol.

4. I promised a friend that one day I would write something light-hearted and fluffy... this was not it.

Thanks for reading, everyone! -Serria