You can call it a spin-off. Or a drabble inspired from the environment of Target Locked. Or you can say this was supposed to be in said collection but I never finished. Since all my ideas and inspiration are for chapter fics (like, maybe, five), so I rummaged and found this... Altered it into a twincest fic 'cuz I had no idea where it was supposed to go. So, er, enjoy?
Warning: Rated T for implications. Lime, I dunno. Sorta AU. Hitachiincest. Future fic.
Disclaimer: I dun own the Hitachiins for the last time! Can I stop putting this here?
Our servants.
The Hitachiins are very lucky to have such a dedicated staff. Whenever they dirty their newly renovated house, the cleaning staff are on it in an instance. Whenever they need some food, the chef instantly makes breakfast, lunch, or dinner in fifteen minutes flat. And when they have something to be done, their extensive staff finish it without question.
Our assistants.
The Hitachiin twins employ a group of twenty staff to monitor their entire home, the actual number of maids, cleaners, gardeners, etc., are actually unknown, to most of the staff. Their mother had insisted that they need some more, but they complain there's enough little ants scurrying around the mansion. Which only induces her to scream and force them to hire yet another cleaner.
And us.
The twins can take care of themselves. No problem, easy as a snap. Problem is, they don't have time. And that's their only reason for employing maids to do everything for them while they sit around and do business.
The Hitachiin Estate (Number Two) staff.
They have seen many incidences where objects fly out the window, and glass mirrors breaking. They have heard many loud bangs and booms from the floors above. They have sniffed the disgusting odors that often drifted out of the kitchen. What they haven't seen yet was…
"Hikaru, I think I've got a cold." A cough. Was Kaoru-sama pretending to have a cold again? To get Hikaru out of the house? (He did it once before, and forced his brother to go to work alone.)
"Really? The air conditioner must've been too low." Murmuring. The maids can't help but try to open the door a bit, failing because the twins have a habit of locking their doors now.
"How bad is it, Kaoru?" the elder twin, they identify.
"Not that bad-" some violent coughing.
"Kaoru, you okay?" He's worried.
"Y-Yeah," slightly hoarse. The maids look at each other; the younger master certainly had good acting skills. "My throat was just dry."
"Can you go to work today?" A hesitant gulp; they aren't sure who it is.
"No." There's more coughing, then a loud sniff. "The cold air is just going to make it worse… Go to work alone, 'kay?"
There's silence on Hikaru's end. The maids shift to get a better hearing.
"And leave you alone here?"
"Don't worry, I can take care of myself. The company can't afford to have both heads out for the day." A slight scolding tone. The two maids shift their eyes, as if saying, 'Knew it.'
"… Alright… If you need me-" some steps towards the door, the maids scoot away in time as the door opens to a slightly annoyed Hitachiin twin. "-don't hesitate to call, Kaoru."
The twin still inside the bedroom nods. Hikaru shifts his eyes towards the maids, and whispers, sternly, "Take care of him. I'm not trusting this cold one bit."
And off he leaves, leaving the door wide open.
It seems that Hikaru's genuinely concerned, but he always says that.
The two maids breeze inside as soon as he disappears down the stairs. Kaoru has the covers up to his nose, nestled in the sheets, and is sleeping (or pretending to) facing away from the door.
Now, all they had to do is wait for him to pop up and rush off somewhere. He did it countless of times.
Silence.
Tumbleweed.
"Kaoru-sama?"
"Oh, you're here?" he mumbles, sleepily, "I think… I caught a cold…"
They blink. Simultaneously.
Kaoru caught a cold?!
No way!
It's serious. Their eyes twinkle determinedly. The twins had always caught their colds together; I mean, who wouldn't? Same environment, same immunity, same foods, everything.
They remember the procedure of handling sick Hitachiins, passed down from generation and generation. Give them water, soup, medicine, then let them sleep.
But… Kaoru's asleep. Already. It didn't go that way.
The whole staff's in a bustle. Everyone's rushing everywhere , changing the sheets, the curtains, dusting the windows, and moving around bookcases (for fung shui, or something) as quietly as they can, so they won't disturb their master's rest.
But little did they know…
'What the hell are they doing?! Getting ready for an emergency evacuation, or something?!' Kaoru buries his throbbing head deeper into the sheets, his arms wrapping tightly around the dark blue blanket that Hikaru had given him earlier in the morning. It doesn't block out noise very well, though.
Mucus dribbles out his nose, and he wipes it away harshly, with whatever he had in his hands. He's screaming in his head.
Being sick sucks, Kaoru concludes, flopping dejectedly back onto his pillows.
Sure, Hikaru had his moments when he was sick; but he was always well enough to go to work. Just some medicine and he was fine.
Why- oh- WHY did Kaoru have to ignore yesterday's symptoms? Why couldn't he have taken Hikaru's suggestion to get some pills down his throat before this happened?
It's always like that; if and whenever Kaoru gets sick, it's almost always because he refuses to rely on medicines; and since the staff doesn't know about it, they can't give him herbs and soups. On the other hand, if and when Hikaru gets sick, he promptly swallows medicines on Kaoru's insistence, gets some rest, and is totally fine the next day.
Their immunity is the same, though, Hikaru knows, tapping on the telephone numbers. It isn't often when Kaoru gets sick alone, and it's harder to manage to the company without him, mostly because-
"You have reached the Hitachiin Estate-"
"Can you put Kaoru on?"
"Hikaru-sama? Sorry, he's resting right now."
"Oh. Right. Tell him that his personal designs have been noticed by some other clothes designer."
"Will do."
"And then… give him some medicine."
"Hikaru-sama, he ate some a while ago."
"Is he properly warmed up?"
"Yes, the temperature is steady."
"What about the windows? Did you open the windows?"
"Hikaru-sama, it's winter, practically snowing outside, if you don't mind me pointing out."
"Can he see a doctor?"
"Hikaru-sama." Silence. "It's just a cold."
"I'm sending for a doctor right away then-"
"Hikaru-sama. He's not on the verge of dying. Thank you."
All he can hear next is the monotone beeping. Frowning, the healthy Hitachiin presses it off, before pressing more buttons in. He whistles a bit, before sitting up straight in his chair, waiting for the phone to pick up.
And the only thing more annoying than a concerned older brother is that certain concerned older brother calling up other people and annoying them even more.
The line clears.
"Haruhi!"
There's nothing on the other line until… "I thought you only called me on Wednesdays, Hikaru."
"No, it's not that!" he shouts into the phone, immediately standing from his seat, beginning to pace around his office. "Kaoru's sick."
"…" More silence, "Alright, are you going to ask me how to make him feel better?"
His movements are frantic. "Well! Yes- I mean, no, I mean-"
"Hikaru, just give him some rest. I'm in the middle of a case. Please don't bother me," comes Haruhi's obviously exasperated voice.
"But, he won't talk to me!"
"He's sick."
"He has a cold!"
"Even more so."
"What if it turns into pneumonia?" his concerns are hysterical.
"Hikaru, get a grip on yourself. Kaoru can take care of himself."
"But he can't!"
"Hikaru, breathe."
He inhales, and then exhales. "But- still!"
"If you're that worried, go home. No use worrying yourself at your business."
Tumbleweed. Oh, he never thought about that before.
"But he told me to go to work!"
"Then, I can't help you, bye." And the phone goes dead.
How did Haruhi know that he was at work? Must be that commoner intuition.
He blinks, sits back down on his seat, places the phone back onto the handset, and smashes his face into the desk.
The servants can't handle his precious brother. He needs to go back home.
And so. He does. After an hour of contemplation, of course.
"Hikaru-sama! Why are you back so early?" one of the hallway maids shrills.
He brushes pass her, yanking off his tie and dropping his jacket off to the side of the stairs. He leaves his take-home reports on the floor unceremoniously and runs up the stairs, leaving a trail of dust.
Now, the cleaners will have to clean up the carpet too.
SLAM
"Kaoru!"
"Oh, Kamisama, shut up, will you?" Kaoru's no doubt pissed off now. First the maids make a ruckus, then they force fed him soup, then they run up and down the stairs like it was for their daily exercise, then they come in and storm the room, spraying something stinky into the air, and then-
"Kaoru, you okay?"
He blinks; did the day pass by that quickly? In a small fog, he searches for the time-
1:29.
"Baka, why did you come back this early?" he drawls, nasally, not even looking at his brother. Kaoru doesn't make an effort to shout at his brother, as the elder scoots to his side, and plops down next to him.
"I was worried," Hikaru comments concisely, slightly out of breath, "The servants don't know how to take care of you."
Kaoru wants to roll his eyes.
"Need water?"
A shake.
"What about some soup?"
Shakes some more.
"Do you need medicine?"
"Hikaru. Shut up," he glares at his brother, and after seeing Hikaru shrink away, he nestles back into the sheets contently.
"Warm enough?"
"…" Kaoru eyes Hikaru, annoyed, and the elder twin coughs, clearing his throat, standing from the large bed. He sighs, and paced quietly towards the bedroom desk.
Good, Kaoru thought mentally, snuggling himself into the covers again, as Hikaru pauses in mid-step.
He smiles a bit, looking back at his blissfully unaware twin. Just wait, maybe Kaoru would be better tonight.
It's safe to say that the servants had finally quieted down. Quieted down, meaning: sitting in front of their bedroom door, their ears pressed to the marble listening in on their twin masters. There was only dead silence- the room being almost soundproof- almost, but not quite.
They often did it at around six at night, they mentally note, but since Kaoru-sama's sick, what would happen? The two maids could only hear a bit of rustling, and then complete silence and then-
"Hikaru," and there's a long annoyed moan, "Let go of me."
"No!" the other twin chirps happily, and the maids look at each other from the corner of their eyes. A janitor stops by the door, blinking as the two try to scratch at the doorknob. It's locked though.
"I'll get you sick, idiot," and they heard just a small smack, but nothing else.
"That sucks," it's a whiny tone in it, and they almost expect to hear Kaoru's response, but the elder continues, adding in a bit mischievously, "You shouldn't have said 'no' last night then."
"Hikaru," the younger replies, annoyed, "-you have five seconds to get off of me."
There's silence-
"Five. Four. Three. Two-" they hear something crash in the room, and they flinch, almost daring to open up the door and reveal whatever thing they're doing- "Hikaru, I said, let go of me!"
And with that, one of them laughs playfully before they heard a loud thud, confusing the two maids outside thoroughly. The janitor pushes on mumbling something like-
"And I thought they had stopped doing that every night," he sighs, before pushing his cart away, "That or put up soundproof walls. But they never listen."
The maids just stare, before shrugging, listening in to the sounds inside the bedroom.
Maybe being the Hitachiin' 'servants' isn't so bad after all.