Knew It From the Start
Disclaimer: I don't own the show that was once Glee but is now just a pile of blech. That honor goes to RIB and Co..
Note: This story was written after the announcement about JGroff coming back as Vocal Adrenaline's new coach. I found it lying in a folder while writing the next chapter for Hello Again (Yes! It's still alive and to be updated soon!), and I decided to publish it. I think it's a pretty realistic take on how Rachel found out Jesse was the coach...okay, so the ending isn't realistic, but everything else is. Enjoy!
She had known since the first day of school.
It was all over the forums- Dustin Goolsby had been fired after Vocal Adrenaline's upsetting 2nd place win at Nationals, and a new coach had been hired. There were thirty applicants for the job, one rumored to be an ex-Broadway chorus member. Vocal Adrenaline remained very secretive though, and to that day, no one knew exactly who had been hired for the extreme task of coaching a nationally acclaimed glee club. But one thing was for sure- they were a threat.
Rachel Berry didn't enjoy having threats in her life, especially unknown, mysterious threats. Of course, no one in New Directions mentioned it. She doubted any one of them even knew what was going on. However, as captain of the team, she felt it her responsibility to pay a visit to Carmel High and figure out just who this threat was. After glee club, she had given Finn a lame excuse as to why she couldn't go mini-golfing with him, hopped into her very own Mini-Cooper, and headed off to Carmel.
She could hear the music as soon as she pulled into the parking lot. It was blaring. Spring Awakening's Totally Fucked was pulsating from the theatre, and as Rachel edged closer, she couldn't understand how they could get by with performing to such a profane-filled song. The theatre door was ajar, and Rachel quietly opened it more, peaking in to observe. On stage, red strobe lights were flickering as kids flipped and cartwheeled around the stage. It was like a circus. An amazing circus. She stared in awe for a moment, before remembering the task she had come to do. Tearing her eyes off the stage, she searched the rows of seats and finally saw a dark body sitting in the center. Rachel tried to get a better view, but the lighting was simply too dark to make anything out.
She moved fully into the theatre and ducked quickly into the very last row, bending over as to not be seen. The song soon ended, and the only sound left was the panting of the performers. They stayed like this for a few minutes, and then a voice all too familiar rang out: "Does anyone here even know what a show face is?"
No…no. It couldn't be. She heard wrong.
"People, this is a show face. Can I see everyone do that?"
He had gone back to California. That's what Kurt had heard, at least.
"Okay, that was alright. You know what? Take a Red Bull break. I expect everyone to be back onstage in five minutes."
It all became apparent; it all began to make sense. Of course they would pick him to coach. He won them four national championships. He was a pro when it came to show choir. The vegan wrap Rachel had had for lunch began to swarm in her stomach as she finally reached the realization.
Jesse St. James was Vocal Adrenaline's new coach.
What Rachel didn't realize, though, was that throughout her mind-spasm, she had been slowly falling off of her seat, and that this last thought had caused her to fall off completely. She cried out in surprise as her hands came in contact with the smooth linoleum floor and her knees banged into the seats in front of her. There was a ruffle of papers from the center of the theatre, and Rachel cursed herself for being so clumsy.
"Who's there?" his voice shouted out.
She remained silent. Perhaps she could make a quick getaway, if she could only grab her bag…her bag! Where had it fallen? Her hands groped for the cotton material, but to no avail. She could hear Jesse's voice getting closer.
"I'm impressed. Someone already spying on us, and it's only the first day of school? You must have your shit together." He was walking up the steps; aisles away from her now. There was no chance of escaping.
"Now, why don't I just see who you are so I can remember to look for your crushed expression when we beat you at competition. Oh my God."
He was right behind her now. Rachel's heart dropped as she heard his voice break off. She had made him speechless. That was new. Seeing his expression might've been even more satisfying, but Rachel wasn't sure she was ready to face him yet.
Jesse cleared his voice, and began to speak loudly, "I shouldn't be surprised, really. You, of all people, most definitely have your shit together. Especially when it comes to the competition."
It was her turn to respond. Well, now or never. Standing up as gracefully as she could accomplish, Rachel turned to him and crossed her arms. Their eyes both flashed as they took in each other for the first time in months. He was wearing all black.
"You haven't changed," Rachel commented.
"Neither have you," Jesse responded.
Rachel shifted as they both assumed blank expressions, trying to think of something to say. "I had heard you were in California again."
He shook his head. "Only to visit friends," he said.
They stood in silence, Jesse leaning against a seat and Rachel slowly moving her foot in a circle. "Well," he began, "now you know where I am. Surprise."
Rachel snorted. Her anger towards him began to rise as she remembered he had been helping New Directions only months before. "How could you go from helping us one minute to helping…them the next? I thought you were on our side."
"I had to get away," he said simply.
She shook her head in confusion. "From what?"
"From you…and him."
Rachel let her blasé expression go as she gaped at him. "Me? And who? Finn? What do we have to do with anything?" Her anger grew as she thought of Nationals. "Is it because of that damn kiss?" He blinked. "I'm sorry we didn't win you your precious Nationals. I'm sorry you couldn't relive your Vocal Adrenaline days. And I'm sorry that you're so damn competitive that now you feel the need to compete against us." She gasped as her mind finally caught up with her mouth. "That's why you're doing this, isn't it? Just to get revenge on us for letting you down last year?"
"You know that's not true," he said, his voice shaking with anger. "The only reason I came back to Ohio was for you. The only reason I accepted that assistant coaching job was for you. I knew you guys didn't have a chance in hell at winning, but I wanted to be with you. I thought you had wanted it too, when we kissed…" His voice broke off, and he took a deep breath to calm himself. Rachel had been gripping her arms so tightly that her knuckles were white. "I came to New York to be with you," he said, his voice restrained. "It would've been the perfect place for us. We could've went to Tisch, seen what the school was like. I was thinking about enrolling. Then I saw you kiss that f—king oaf, and I knew that it was all fake. What I thought we had was all a lie. And you know what else is fake? You're relationship with Finn. You're just not willing to admit it."
"I love him!" Rachel shouted. "You have no right to say those things. How dare you accuse me of lying to you when that's exactly what you did to me. You were my first love, and you acted as if it was all a joke. You shattered me, Jesse." There were tears in her eyes at this point. "Finn was there to clean up the pieces."
"Bullshit," Jesse laughed. He pushed off of his seat and put his face directly in front of Rachel's. She flinched. "I came back," he said quietly. "I apologized. You think you're in love with Finn because he's the safe choice. He doesn't question you. He doesn't push you when he knows you can do better. He accepts you for being average. I, on the other hand, am dangerous. Because you know I will question you. I will push you. Because I see your potential and I know your dreams and I want more than anything for you to reach them." His eyes were consumed with sincerity, and Rachel had to look away. She spotted her bag lying on the ground next to his feet, and she reached down to pick it up. He beat her to it and handed it to her.
"One day you're going to come back to me," Jesse said slowly. Rachel went to turn away, but he grabbed her hands and kept her in place. "You're going to apologize and tell me you were wrong. Finn was a jackass. But until you come to that realization, I can't hang around waiting."
"I love Finn," Rachel said strongly, wrenching her hands away from Jesse's. "He loves me, and he protects me. He'll support me no matter what, and he'll never hurt me."
"Mmm, so that's what it is. You're afraid of being hurt," Jesse laughed, crossing his arms. "Rach, you need to live a little."
"Stop laughing at me! You're always laughing at me, and I can't stand it."
"Only because I love you," he whispered.
Rachel flipped. "Don't you dare use that word as if it doesn't hold any meaning."
"Uhm, Mr. St. James?" Rachel turned towards the voice to see Vocal Adrenaline gathered onstage. The tension between her and Jesse diminished, and Rachel was left feeling empty.
"Rehearsal's cancelled. Go home immediately," Jesse said loudly, not taking his eyes off of Rachel.
The kids slowly shuffled out, and Rachel could hear her name and New Directions being whispered amongst them. She tugged on her bag, lifting it over her arm. "I'm leaving," she said. She tried to push past him, but he grabbed onto her shoulders.
"I meant what I said. I don't care if you don't feel the same way. Just understand that I care about you more than I've ever cared about anyone else. You see that, don't you?" The passion swarming in his eyes made it hard for Rachel to think otherwise. Jesse dropped his hands and let Rachel pass. "I'll see you at Sectionals," he said as she opened the theatre door.
Rachel hesitated. "But we're not competing against you guys."
He smirked. "I'll still be there."
Rachel gave him a small smile and left. As she closed the door behind herself, she could've sworn she heard him say, "For you."
She had known since the first day of school.
They were an inevitability.
Thoughts? Constructive criticism? Leave a review! I'd really, really appreciate it.