A/N: So, you know that post that was floating around Tumblr a couple weeks ago with a bunch of AU prompts? As soon as I read "sex shop au" this just... happened. The setting is basically the Ann Summers store we have in my city, fyi, though I've tried to be vague about toy details because I'm not exactly an expert.

Thanks to Myarna for letting me text spam her and for checking this over for me! She also basically picked the title because she is wonderful.

Chapter 1

Nagisa turns a full 360 degrees, awestruck. The shop isn't particularly large but damn is it packed. He isn't quite sure what he was expecting but an oddly sectioned off circular area in the middle of the store where the walls are crammed with sex toys? Yeah, definitely not that. He wants something, he really does, but he's not sure where to even begin. It's difficult to have a proper think about what you're looking for when there is literally a dildo staring you in the face from every single angle.

He eventually reaches the conclusion that he should conquer one of the smaller sections first: the butt plugs. There are so many phallic-shaped items around him, a number of which look worryingly intimidating—honestly, how do they even—that this seems like a safer start, even if he's not sure he even wants one. At least these are generally tailored to guys, right?

He crouches down rather precariously to check out the various types; mostly the same shape and size, some in the silliest colours. If he gets one, Nagisa decides, it will most definitely have to be in hot pink.

There is movement behind him, indicating that someone else has joined him in the Almighty Sex Toy Display Cubicle. Oh god, he thinks. He's not one to be shy but even he would admit to feeling a little awkward being caught kneeling down looking at butt plugs while someone else tries to find a toy that tickles their fancy. He focusses solely on the pegs in front of him, at least hoping the other shopper isn't a guy to make things less awkward. What if it is a guy? What if it's a hot guy?

"Can I help you with anything, sir?"

Nagisa isn't expecting the other person to talk, let alone for them to actually be a guy. And so, he finds himself very gracefully toppling to the floor in surprise. The other male makes a sound that Nagisa can only describe as the verbalisation of an exclamation point and hurries to help him up.

"I am so, so sorry," he flusters, offering his hand for support.

"That's okay! I was just surprised," Nagisa chirps, his hair flopping over his face as he lets himself be pulled up. His cheeks feel warm but he grins despite them because, well, had it been anyone but him, he would have been too incapacitated by laughter to really be of much help. This assistant doesn't laugh at him though, for which his eternally grateful. Suspicious, but grateful. Who wouldn't laugh at someone for falling on their ass in the middle of an aisle full of dildos?

Nagisa dusts himself off, fixes his hair. "Ahh, thank you! Let's just forget that that happened. Some help would be—"

He made a mistake. He made an awful, terrible mistake. He turned his gaze to the sales assistant. Oh no, he's hot.

This is dreadful. This isn't just incidentally looking at sex toys while in close proximity to another guy. It isn't even idle chatter. He is going to have to talk about which items from the glorious display of toys he's looking to use, on himself, with a complete and utter, and ridiculously good-looking, stranger.

Nagisa realises he's staring but by this point he has no regrets; might as well enjoy the view before he descends into a mumbling mess. This guy, okay, he's tall and muscled, like, 'I work out at the gym on a regular basis, where people can see me' type muscled and damn Nagisa has to find out where—and he looks far too good in the black shirt he wears for uniform. Far too good. It should be illegal to look that fine. What was he trying to do to customers? He probably looks even better under it, Nagisa mused—

"Is everything all right, sir?" the assistant asks hesitantly, and Nagisa notes how he makes this cute little movement to push up his glasses - probably to hide his face. Now he probably thinks there's something on that perfectly perfect face of his—

"Ahh, sorry sorry! I just, I haven't been in this shop before, and—" I totally wasn't just picturing you shirtless, no, nope, don't know what you're taking about— "It's, well, it's kinda intimidating, you know, to be surrounded by... well..." He waves a hand about the area, trying his very best not to just say "dicks".

He has already embarrassed himself enough, thank you very much.

He's not even that daunted by them, really, (besides the freakin' monstrous ones, like what even?) and he's pretty chill about being a newbie in a sex shop. But damn, this assistant. If he'd seen this wonderful specimen when he'd first walked in he would have made an effort to be more suave; would have known exactly what he wanted. Instead he just looks like a babbling 15-year-old who's trying to sneak into a sex shop for shits and giggles.

Oh my god, I am going to get kicked out for looking underage, he realises with dismay. Darn his charmingly boyish features!

The assistant is smiling, though, as if he deals with this in a regular basis. Nagisa doesn't doubt it and it's a relief in one way. Hopefully someone else had made more of a fool of themselves than he just had. On the other hand, he is never normally this flustered and is now becoming even more flustered at his utter loss for what to do with himself.

"It's all right," the assistant says, though he quite abruptly takes a step back, cheeks flushed slightly as if he suddenly decided that he was standing too close. A smile twitches at the corner Nagisa's mouth. Perhaps he's doing okay after all.

Rei, he notices on the assistants name badge. Rei is a nice name.

"Were you looking for anything in particular?" Rei continues, glancing at the selection for himself. "I see you were looking at the butt plugs."

Nagisa feels his face heat up, the tips of his ears turn pink. Yes, they definitely are going to have this conversation, it seems. To top it off, Rei is far too casual sounding for this. Completely calm. He doesn't even look like they type to be shopping here, let alone work here. He looks all maths and science, all figures and facts, not all... well, sex and kinky times. Nagisa isn't sure what to make of this information. He's the perfect combination. Imagine him taking charge in the bedroom, being all methodical while he—

"No!" he blurts out. Whether he's addressing Rei or himself doesn't really matter anymore. He stumbles over his next words to correct himself, "Sorry! I mean, I'm not sure if I want one, they look kinda, well... I don't really—" Oh god. His brain is mush. How is he going to make it through this conversation?

He takes a deep breath. "I haven't used anything before," he ends up finishing lamely.

Rei considers him for a moment, and Nagisa feels himself heat up under his gaze. He's not even really looking at me, goddammit Nagisa, pull yourself together!

"Hm, yes, I think I know what might be best," Rei says, nodding to himself, making to move towards the front of the store. "If you'd join me at the tills I can show you? We keep some display products there."

Nagisa nods and follows the taller man. He feels better now that he's admitted that he's new to this, not that he's embarrassed by it but at least they now have a starting point. He finds that it's helpful that Rei is so serious and collected about the whole thing. Plus, he looks cute when he's thinking.

He drums his fingers absently on the top of the counter while Rei searches for the item, quite happy to be free of The Great Dildo Enclosure.

"Here it is," Rei says a moment later, head popping back up from under the desk. He places a lidless box onto the counter. Nagisa leans over to peer into it. Its pink, is the first thing he notices, an immediate bonus. It's also a dildo, of course, but this one narrows towards the tip, a far friendlier looking design than most of the others. Even at its thickest it's no more than the average girth of the other toys he's seen that day.

"It's called the Serena Vibrator," supplies Rei, pulling it out and holding it in his hands. "It's very flexible, so a lot of beginners find it more comfortable than our other products." He demonstrates this before offering the toy to Nagisa, who does his best to ignore the fact that their fingers brush as he takes it.

Wow, it really does bend, he thinks. He figured that dildos would kinda require some degree of flexibility but this is more that he would have expected. He also expected them to be... smoother? This one has a weird rubbery texture that he isn't too sure about. Silicone or something?

"It's made of PVC," Rei confirms. Nagisa grins sheepishly when he realises that be must have been making a weird face towards the object in his hands. "They're far more comfortable when in use; lubricant takes away the friction. Although, you will need to use a lot of it if it is for anal usage, of course, and you'll need to be sure that you use the right type of lubricant too. PVC can be—"

At this point Nagisa would admit to having stopped listening. He can feel his face growing warm again and he's starting to wonder about Rei - in a completely innocent way! It wasn't natural not to at least a smile awkwardly or blush when giving someone tips on anal penetration, no matter how long you've been doing your job. And it can't have been that long because Rei looks around his age, no older than 20, 21, at most. Yet here he is discussing the different kinds of lubricant one can buy from their store in a startling amount if detail. He's like a knowledge machine. Most definitely maths and science - why is he working here of all places?

Rei coughs. Nagisa abruptly snaps out if his daze and tries to look like he were present.

"I'm sorry," the assistant says, fumbling to push his glasses up the bridge of his nose. Nagisa revels in the little pink blush that spreads across his cheeks. "I... went off on a tangent. My apologies. Do you have any questions?"

"Mm, I don't think so," Nagisa replies, twirling the toy around in his hands. He practically throws it in the air when it begins to vibrate unexpectedly, letting out a yelp.

A moment later, they're both leaning over from either end of the counter and clutching the still-vibrating dildo between them.

Nagisa looks, wide-eyed, from the toy to Rei. "I, uh, might night not have been listening when you said it was a vibrator too," he confesses, to which Rei turns rather red in the face. He tentatively reaches out with his other hand to turn back the dial at the base of the toy. The vibrations stop.

Nagisa is the first to laugh. He releases his grip and descends into a fit of giggles. Rei's face looks like sour grapes from his supressed smile but he eventually caves in. He chuckles, eyes dancing, and carefully places the dildo back into its box, lest anything else go wrong. Nagisa supposes it must be rude to laugh at customers but Rei shows far more restraint that he could ever manage.

He wipes at the corner of his eye, talking around the odd giggle. "Sorry. That one seems good! I think I'll go for it."

Rei, lips still tilted upwards (which is doing things to Nagisa's heart, damn he's so cute too), slips back beneath the counter to return the box. When he reappears his face is more serious. "I'm afraid we don't actually stock this one in store but we can order it in for you for no extra charge."

Nagisa beams. "Yeah, that's fine!"

.