"You've got mail. Jake!" Finn was yelling, as he crawled up the spiral oak stairs to Jake's room.

"What's all the ruckus Finn? I'm busy"

Jake was jogging in place, huffing and puffing.

"Well, someone sent you somethin' in the mail, ya big doof!"

In Jake's pumped up state, he felt extremely overconfident and he stopped jogging and turned to look at Finn.

"Who you callin' a doof, ya freaky fuck?"

Jake went over to his bedside table and took a big gulp from a glass of red sludgy liquid that appeared to be kool-aid, but was more sugar than kool-aid, mountainous lumps of the white stuff penetrating through the frothy film at the top of the drink.

The impact of the sugar took hold of Jake almost instantly, the energy flowing through his entire body in a matter of mere seconds, Jake let out a ear-shattering howl and whipped a stretchy arm in Finn's direction, though in vain, as Jake was very out-of-shape and the blow landed on Finn's shoulder hurt Jake's arm more than it did Finn.

"Jake, your arms are so pliable I could just…"

Finn leapt at Jake, grabbing both of his arms.

"NO FINN, NOT AGAIN, I FREAKIN' BEG YOU. I'LL SAVE YOU MORE Oooreos™ NEXT TIME, PLEASE!"

Finn began twisting Jake's arms across each other, tying them together into a splicing knot like a grandma knits a quilt. Jake's arms were beginning to look like a braid.

Finn was ecstatic, slowly standing up to get a better look at his handiwork. Letting out soft, content chuckles at irregular intervals.

"Finn, I think you've had your fun, please leave me be now. Leave me alone with my tears, at the very least."

Finn looked at Jake blanky, and then a look of excitement exploded on his face as he ran to grab the letter he was delivering to Jake in the first place.

Jake sat up against the wall and unraveled his arms at an inhuman pace at the notion of a message for him. He had not received a letter for a very long span of time.

"Lemme at it," Jake said, impatiently.

"Sheesh, fine take your dumb mail, I don't even care." Finn pouted as he awkwardly made his exit.

Jake wasn't about to let what just happened get to him though, so he looked down at the envelope and tore it up, ripping through the envelope and the letter itself.

"Where is the letter at?" Jake stammered.

An instant later he realized his mistake and began to grieve, but caught himself and hopped up to grab some scotch tape.

After 15 minutes of taping the letter back up with painstaking care, it had become complete enough to be eligible.

"Let's see here…" Jake thought, beginning to read the letter.

Dear Jake

This may come on as quite a surprise, but I have reason to believe that you are my brother. I have recently been in a very serious accident, falling out of a window in the house that I reside in, and while recuperating at a nearby hospital, I happened to come across a chart of The Dog family tree line. I was inspecting it with great curiosity and interest when I came across the branch where I fell in. What came as a complete shock to me was that Margaret, our mother had 3 children, me (Thomas), you, and Jermaine (whom I also sent a letter to). I'm not sure about you two, but I've never heard about having any siblings, and it was just too exciting of a notion to pass up, so I hope there isn't any reason you two would have been avoiding me. Anyway though, I'm really not sure why mother would keep all of this info from me (or us) and I'd love to get the chance to talk to you and/or Jermaine about the issue and see what we can come up with. If you are interested in meeting me, I can be found at the same house that mother nursed us all in, after she died I now watch over the place myself, and I reckon I will do so for a long while, so stop by anytime, or if you don't want to do that then you could write me back, and if you don't want to do either, I'll completely understand. Thanks in advance.

Your long lost brother,

Thomas

Jake could hardly believe what he was reading, and after he finished reading, read and reread it a few more times. Although at first the part about Jermaine threw Jake off as Jermaine was dead now, he shrugged it off thinking Thomas was just unaware of the fact. Loads of emotions were flooding into Jake's mind, forming an eclectic soup that refueled him from his earlier encounter with Finn, making him spring to his feet and think about when he would meet his new brother, Thomas. After all, this was a once in a life-time chance and he wanted to meet him as soon as possible, and make up for all the time they could have been together that was lost. Then Jake looked at the time and exclaimed "Rang dang sekleebus!" It was just past 1 in the morning and Jake was completely unaware. He decided to catch some sleep before he set out for his journey in the morning.