Chapter 4- Continued~~~ Rendezvous on Natalie's Couch
Standard Disclaimer: I don't own Monk.
Notes: This is the final scene from 'Unbound Heart'- Chapter4-Bugs and Kisses. Obviously, since this is in the 'M' section, it is for mature audiences only –But let me offer a more direct warning. This chapter is explicit and deals with intimacy and sex. ~I hope you will appreciate that this chapter is about more than just a physical connection; intimacy is one of the greatest gifts in a loving, committed relationship.
The scene: Natalie's house. It's been a very bad day for Adrian, and Natalie knows just how to make him feel better. ;)
Adrian methodically placed the last of his new t-shirts into the drawer, aligning it exactly with the shirt underneath, and then slid the drawer closed. He then mechanically straightened everything on top of the dresser. Adrian was woozy surrounded by all the newness- everything was brand new; new shirts, new pants, he now even had a pair of brand new cargo shorts (which Natalie insisted he buy even though he wouldn't dream of ever wearing them). Suffering from a knot in the pit of his stomach, he went and sat on the end of the bed and brought his hand to his brow. God he hated change, he hated germs and he hated Dale Beiderbeck; today had been a very bad day.
Adrian felt a swell of helplessness that threatened to send him back to his compulsion to organize and clean everything into perfection. By concentrating on the smallest thing, the minutiae of life, he knew he was attempting to distract himself and avoid the thoughts which haunted him. It worked temporarily, but the thoughts always remained and eventually resurfaced, pulling him into a vicious cycle- a cycle from which he thought had finally gotten free. But today- today had been a struggle. He rubbed his face with both hands, wishing he could stop thinking for a while and just be 'normal'. This 'Gift/Curse' thing was so tiring and draining.
With a sigh, Adrian rose and, before heading downstairs, straightened out the bedspread. Natalie was down in the kitchen finishing his laundry and just being in her company would surely calm him down. She always made him feel better, more confident and, almost 'normal'.
Adrian made his way down the staircase, only to find the downstairs dark, all the lights off. The washing machine was quietly swishing, but otherwise it was silent. "Natalie?" he called as he turned the kitchen light on. The kitchen was empty.
"Turn off the light, please." Natalie's soft voice came from behind him, from the living room.
He obliged, flipping the light off then went to the doorway of the living room. He of course had long since memorized the furniture layout and so avoided bumping into any obstacles. "What's going on?"
He heard Natalie rise from the couch and walk across the room to him, a dark shadow moving in the dark room. "I just wanted us to finish our lesson in relaxation," she softly replied, her smile evident by the tone of her voice. Natalie's hands then touched his chest uncertainly, gauging where he was located, and then firmly traveled over to his arms and down to his hands. She entwined her fingers with Adrian's and stepped backward, "Come into the living room."
Finish their lesson in relaxation? Now? In there? Adrian held his ground. "The living room? Natalie, I think-"
"No, no, no. Don't you remember? Do -not- think. Just follow me." She tugged on his hands, getting him to take the walk into the living room. Natalie led him over to the couch and, standing on her tip-toes, gave him a tender kiss.
Adrian's eyes finally adjusted to the dark and he met Natalie's intense gaze. He then gulped audibly, "But the living room-"
"The living room is just that- a room for living. But, just to reassure you, listen - I locked and chained both doors, the drapes are all closed tight, I put a clean blanket over the couch and, with all the lights off, you can see it's pretty dark in here. We have total privacy and we will not be interrupted. You will enjoy this and-" she playfully added, "I guarantee you'll thank me later." Natalie lifted his hands and placed them on her bare waist.
He twitched slightly despite all her reassurances, "Natalie, you're, umh, naked!"
"Not yet-" she slid his hands from her waist down to her hips, reaching her underwear, "But I was hoping you could help get me there."
Oh why couldn't he just be normal and stop thinking and stop worrying and-
"Adrian, relax-" Natalie softly admonished and placed her hands on his shoulders, massaging at the knots. "Stop worrying. To relax you need to stop listening to all the thoughts in your head and-" she tenderly nipped and kissed along the soft skin under his jaw and up to his ear, "-listen to your body. Forget-" She stopped abruptly when she felt Adrian's shoulder flinch, a clear indication of agitation. To calm him, Natalie lightly held his face, her thumb scraping across the stubble that peppered his cheek. "Ssh, it's okay-
"Adrian, I'm sorry I surprised you with this-like I'm pushing you into finishing what we started earlier today. I know today was stressful for you- between Spyder's case, going to prison, seeing Dale Beiderbeck, the bug infestation, all the new clothes and then abruptly moving in with me. That's a lot to handle- so many changes at one time. I know you're incredibly tense and feeling overwhelmed.
"But this-" she tilted her head toward the couch, "it's not just about me making love to you just because I want you." Natalie took his hand and continued, "I know our making love will help you feel better and help you deal with everything that's happened today. And if you can get past today, you can withstand anything. I want you Adrian, but I don't want to push you into making love."
"You're not pushing me, Natalie. And I do want to-" his voice dropped to a whisper, "to make love with you too, but-" Adrian sighed heavily in frustration and let go of her hand, "but I am feeling overwhelmed. I'm worried that my OCD is coming back stronger than ever, and I don't want to, to go backwards-Natalie, I thought I finally had it under control - but just now it took me almost half an hour to put some shirts away!" He twitched slightly at the thought of all his new shirts folded neatly in a perfect stack in the drawer. Everything had to be perfect and symmetrical.
"A half hour is great, Adrian! Remember the time we rearranged your silverware drawer and it took seven hours?" Natalie hugged him reassuringly.
Adrian felt a small bit of relief as he returned Natalie's embrace. Maybe a half hour wasn't that bad. "I remember. How did you put up with me?"
"I love you, that's how. I would do anything for you." Natalie snuggled her face in the crook of his neck, "And I want you to be happy." Natalie pulled herself closer, conforming her body to his and slowly stroking his lower back.
As she nuzzled closer, her languid movements began calming his agitation while simultaneously arousing his desires. But although his body was certainly responding to Natalie's attentions, he just couldn't stop thinking."Why the living room? Why can't we just go upstairs?"
"Because you need to learn that spontaneity and change can be good, and besides-" Natalie gave a chuckle, "I don't just love you in the bedroom."
Adrian dropped his voice, "Natalie, I can't be, you know, naked in the living room."
"I know, Adrian. But it's okay if I unbutton your shirt, right?" Natalie plucked at the front of his shirt and smiled reassuringly at him."You can leave it on if that'll make you more comfortable, okay?"
"Okay that sounds, umh, good." He was unsure but it was a compromise Natalie was asking him to accept. He trusted Natalie. Adrian let his hands rest on her hips as she unfastened the buttons and parted his shirt, slipping her hands around his waist. She was so warm and soft, his arms naturally encircled her and he couldn't help but sigh.
Natalie snuggled her head against his collarbone, "Still good?"
"Still good," he buried his face in her hair, inhaling deeply, his concentration focusing in on Natalie. He felt every breath she exhaled against his skin, heard every little sigh she uttered. He looked over her shoulder at the couch and trembled slightly; he longed for her but the living room was completely out of his comfort zone.
Natalie leaned back and scanned his eyes, "You're feeling uncomfortable, aren't you?" He nodded slightly, thankful that she understood him so completely. Natalie reached up and guided his face closer, capturing his attention. "Remember when we started dating- that one night we lay on that couch together, just talking and kissing, and then eventually falling asleep? That was a wonderful night. Now think about the times we've made love. Remember what we've shared and learned from each other and how you felt afterwards- relaxed and content and happy. I want you to be happy, Adrian." Natalie once again snuggled up against his bare chest, "Think about us being happy together."
Adrian desperately wanted to be free of the nagging thoughts that held him back; he wanted to be happy and to make Natalie happy. Adrian's embrace of Natalie tightened and, as always, he did what she suggested. He purposefully focused on Natalie and all the intimate moments they had shared; from their hesitant first kiss to their eager lovemaking the previous night, and every touch in between.
Adrian's heart began to race when he realized how Natalie's love was changing him, making him a complete man. He was no longer alone, trapped by his intellect and fear. Natalie was teaching him how to accept and love the physical world in a way Trudy never had- Trudy had been timid and restrained and undemanding while Natalie- delicate, beautiful Natalie had been the one to unabashedly touch him and kiss him in the most intimate ways. Natalie had encouraged him trust himself and to accept pleasure. She was helping him through his modesty, teaching him how to express what felt good and what he enjoyed. Natalie had showed him that lovemaking can be tender and lustful, gentle and passionate. That thought alone made him groan softly as he leaned down and burrowed his face into the crook of her neck.
Adrian's breathing now becoming labored and halting as Natalie's body molded to his. Worries now fading, he was overwhelmed by thoughts of Natalie. How she had given herself to him without reservation. How she had accepted his shyness and tentativeness, while somehow bolstering his confidence. And how she had, with patience and tenderness, guided him on how to touch her, how to give pleasure. Because of her, Adrian was beginning to lose some of his inhibitions, to want physical contact and to not hate his own body.
Taking a small step back, Adrian took Natalie's face in his trembling hands and lightly kissed her. With his lips still hovering near hers, Adrian tenderly whispered, "I love you, Natalie." He slowly put a small distance between their bodies and, while keeping eye contact, he brought his hands to her hips and carefully took hold of the delicate fabric, easing it off of her body.
After gasping in delighted surprise, Natalie nuzzled her face to his, returning the kiss, "I love you, too." She kissed him again, this time more forcefully, and let her hands drift down to his belt and slowly unbuckled it. Carefully tossing the belt aside, she checked on his comfort level while undoing the button and zipper on his pants. "Doing okay?"
Adrian's eyes remained closed as he concentrated on what was about to happen. "Doing okay," he mindlessly parroted, his lips waiting for another kiss.
Natalie chuckled at his obvious euphoria. Remaining mindful of his modesty, she gently pushed his pants low on his hips, leaving him covered. While continuing to kiss, she then placed her hands on his shoulders and gently coaxed him to sit on the couch. He began to shift to a reclining position but she quickly stopped him, whispering in his ear, "Stay seated upright, Adrian." With feline grace, she eased herself forward, straddling his hips, all the while continuing to deepen their kisses until they were breathless.
When she drew back to catch her breath, Adrian's eyes fluttered open and he met Natalie's gaze. With her hands on his chest and his hands on her thighs, he was immediately struck by the intimacy of this position. Natalie was his completely. He longingly whispered her name, wanting her to continue. "Natalie-"
Seeing his willingness, Natalie slowly moved her hands from his chest down to his stomach, following the ever thickening tangle of hair. She raised herself up while pushing his boxers down, all the while holding his gaze. She brushed her hand against him and a soft moan escaped his throat. "Natalie-" he implored again, his body aching for her.
Easing their bodies together, Natalie smirked when Adrian's eyes involuntarily closed and he sharply inhaled a breath. When his eyes slid opened and focused on her, she could see he was lost in the moment, and that she alone was his world. Natalie tenderly kissed him and slowly began to move with him, "How're we feeling, Adrian?" Her soft voice came out almost a purr, clearly conveying the pleasure she was experiencing.
"We're very happy," Adrian softly chortled as he instinctively matched the ebb and flow of her movements. He drew his arms around her back and pulled her close, nuzzling the crook of her neck. With a quiet moan, his words came out husky and low and halting, "I should, always, listen, to you, Natalie." He traced one hand down to her hip and firmly held on to her as his body repeatedly sought to be ever closer.
"You, really, should-" Natalie dipped her face down to his, covering his lips with hers. She ran her hands through his hair, pulling him forward, her arousal building quickly, "-always, listen, to me, my love."
Before long, Adrian couldn't help but join Natalie at the edge of delirium. He fought to prolong this blissful moment but when Natalie gave in and breathlessly called his name, Adrian pulled her close one final time and gasped, "Nat, oh God!", following her into the ecstasy. Gone was everything –including himself. For what seemed like an eternity and a mere second, Adrian knew the complete perfection of life. Gasping for air, he felt all strength leave his body, the arms that held Natalie now quivering. One thought gradually surfaced and he wistfully murmured, "Natalie, I love you."
"I love you too, Adrian," Natalie whispered solemnly while she pushed his shirt back open and curled herself against his chest, snuggling her face into his shoulder. Trying to calm his racing heartbeat, she gently stroked his chest and cooed sweet nothings, "Ssh Adrian, I've got you."
After several minutes, Adrian's breathing and heart rate calmed and he lightly kissed Natalie's forehead. His strength returned and he tightened his hold on her. To be more comfortable, he shifted his body so that they were now slightly reclining on the couch. He then chuckled softly- of course Natalie had been right about everything.
Intrigued by his obviously giddy mood, Natalie disentangling herself from his arms and leaned back to make eye contact. Looking at him, she rubbed her hand along his face, delighting in his five-o'clock shadow. "Feeling good, are we?"
He gazed up at her, a serene look on his face. "Hmm, very-" he softly captured her hand and kissed her palm. "Thank you."
"Thank me? What are you talking about, mister?" Natalie asked, her puzzled gaze meeting his still enraptured-filled eyes.
"You said you guaranteed I'd like this and I'd thank you later," Adrian shyly grinned, "So, I'm just thanking you- you were right."
Natalie chuckled and leaned down to give his a soft kiss, "You're very welcome and any time." She then snuggled back down against his chest, lulled by his gentle hands moving over her back.
They held each other for several minutes as their bodies relaxed together, their breathing now in unison. Their quiet sighs and gentle touches were the only sounds that interrupted the comfortable silence. Without moving from his arms, Natalie eventually broke the spell, "We should clean up, Adrian."
She was right-again- but suddenly cleaning up didn't seem so important; sharing this moment was the only thing on his mind and, in his heart.
Adrian lightly ran his hand up along her back, bringing his hand to the base on her neck, "In a minute, Natalie-" Slipping his hand along her shoulder, he held her tight and kissed the top of her head, "There's no rush."