La douleur exquise-French origin; the heart-wrenching of wanting the affection of someone unattainable
Tonight she sees him again, a shadow of reds and rich gold among the crowd of masked men and women. Under the pretext of wanting a drink, she excuses herself from her brother and makes her way through the room, squeezing and maneuvering her way through the thick ball gowns, tuxedos and other apparel that the people had chosen to wear.
All the while the jester watches and raise a hand, inclining her to take it. Ducking behind a mass of bodies, he observes the girl come, her eyes a mixture of nervous eagerness and determination. Stepping back, the jester waits for her to catch up, before moving backward again. Russet orbs flick about to watch his surroundings, watching for signs of the girl's blonde-haired brother. There were none.
Not for long, time is running out.
Again the jester beckoned to her, and again the girl tried in vain to follow. It was not easy to blend in when she was the only one in a simple, modest gown. She had just made it over the edge of the ballroom when she sees her brother's guard coming over towards her. Twisting her head, she found no sight of the jester, he seemingly dissipating into the air. Feeling her hopes dashing, the girl felt someone grabbed her hand and tug, pulling her away just in the nick of time before the guard could reach her.
Feeling hands wrap themselves loosely around her waist, the girl found herself staring into apathetic green under a mask of gold and hieroglyphs. The muse smiled. Under the lighting of the exquisite ballroom she could glimpsed the exposed tan skin his robe did not cover. Waltzing in time with the beat, the muse moved so that the two of them were dancing at the edge of the crowd, far from where her brother and his guards were last located. With a slight curling of his lips, he released her, sending her pivoting into the shadows.
Safe and out of sight.
Giving a short bow to the empty space before him, the muse gracefully weaved back into the crowd unseen.
Collecting herself, the girl noticed the figure of the jester standing at the doorway of a darkened hall, his dragon mask glinting from what little light could pierced the darkness. Tilting his head slightly, the jester vanished down the hallway, prompting the girl to follow. With quick hurried steps, the girl traced his path, the rustling of her dress the only sound in this part of the manor.
After what felt like an eternity of twists and turns, she emerged outside into the manor's gardens. Here, the noise of the masquerade had dimmed to a faint murmur and the only illumination came from the glow of the moon. Surrounded by neatly trimmed and manicured bushes of what were surely the most lovely flowers, the girl inhaled gently, careful to remain quiet. Away from the noise and bustle, she felt strangely calm, all previous misgivings about being caught fading until it felt like nothing but a distant dream.
A movement from the gloom cause her eyes to dart about. It was the jester, and he had removed his mask and hat. Shaggy locks of brown hair tumble to frame a handsomely curved jaw. Under the faint light of the moon, the girl could see shades of burgundy scrutinizing her. Raising one hand, he pointed towards a path that led deeper into the garden, indicating her the way.
Nodding in thanks, the girl watched the jester melt back into the shadows of the manor, the gold of his cloth glinting slightly under the moon. Turning back, she continued down the path pointed out to her, her shoes making soft tapping noises against the ancient stone.
Passing by elegantly pruned rosebushes and intricately carved figures of marble lions, horses and men, the sinuous path led to a courtyard overlooking the side of the manor. A small pond adorned with tiny water lilies curved the edge of the elevated stone. The still liquid gleamed silver, lit by the light of the moon.
Pulling off her shoes, the girl sank her feet into the soft grass, sighing in relief. Padding towards the pond, she brushed her hand gently against the liquid surface, sending ripples throughout the body of water. A chuckle sounded behind her, prompting her to look behind, heart beat speeding.
He was here.
Cloths of red and orange entwined with black, dropping from his waist to form a long coat. An ornate half-mask shield his eyes from hers. But beneath the paint and velvet, the ever-sparkling amber orbs would be laughing with happiness and mirth. She would know, they have been down this path many times before.
How many times, she thinks as he slinks closer, movement serpentine. How many times have they met like this, hidden away under the cover of masks and shadows to see the other? Was it only under the night's embrace that they could find solace, to abandon their present worries and bask in their painful, forbidden love?
Standing before the girl, the cloaked-man's outstretched hand curled around her wrist. With trembling emotion, he brought it to his lips, brushing his mouth tenderly against her fingertips.
"Dolce ninfa." Lifting her hand to press another kiss on the inside of her wrist, the man let out an exhale. His breath, warm on her skin, cause her to shiver. "Mia carissima." Pulling her closer, his hands flitted to her jaw, fingertips ghosting over her skin. "Mi sei mancato." Inhaling the fresh scent of rain on her skin, he wrapped an arm loosely around her form and started to sway her to an invisible tempo. "Ballare con me."
Slipping her eyes close, the girl danced alongside her companion, feeling the fabric of his cloak brush her bare ankles. They stayed like that for a long time, moving to their own rhythm. All the while, his grip on her remained steady.
The girl wondered, as the male started to hum softly, if he could hear the rapid beating of her heart. If he felt as strongly as she did during their meetings. Every touch on her bare skin sent fire flowing into her veins. He made her feel alive, made her feel free and so, so happy. Snapping out of her reverie, she started at the touch of his fingers toying with the edge of her mask. Quickly, she grabbed his hands before they could pry the ornament off.
"Feliciano, don't." Her soft voice trembled, afraid of breaking the still silence of the night and of his actions.
Under the dim light, Feliciano's eyes shone behind the mask's silts. Slowly, slender fingers traced the faint veins of her hands, enveloping the petite digits with a slight squeeze. "Shh, we are safe here. No one will find us." Smiling gently, he leaned forward, pressing his lips on the clay surface covering the curve of her nose, lips widening when he saw her redden. Pulling back, he murmured reassuringly, hands releasing hers to grip and lift the edge of the golden butterfly that covered her face from view. "I want to see you, Michelle."
Feeling the cool air hit her exposed flesh, Michelle sighed audibly in pleasure. Feliciano smiled, hands coming to cup her cheeks tenderly.
"Sei così bella." Brushing his lips over the corner of her mouth, he sighed with joy. Every little contact between them was heaven itself. Sometimes he wondered what he had done to deserve such an angel like her noticing him. Feeling her hands push him away, Feliciano reluctantly relented, only to freeze when he felt the female cupping his face and pulling him down and the feeling of her lips pressing against the mask silt of his left eye.
With one fluid motion, Michelle pulled back, lifting her lover's mask at the same time. Watching the befuddled expression on his face, she laughed softly, holding his half mask against her chest. "Feli-"
A playful teasing look was all she got before she felt a gentle insistent pressure against her mouth. Melting into his touch, Michelle tried not to tremble as his lips moved sensually against hers. Feliciano was an awfully good kisser and the man knew it too. Breaking the kiss, Feliciano made sure to linger for a few good moments, his smile curling into a slight smirk at the sight of her half-lidded eyes.
Shifting until his mouth hovered over her jaw line, Feliciano pressed an open-mouth kiss on the skin, breathing in her crisp scent. Sighing happily, his breaths created goosebumps on Michelle's skin, causing her to shiver once more against his frame. Hands rose to cup his face and Feliciano felt himself being kissed once more.
Feliciano smiled. Throughout their times together, he never tire of their kisses. Just being with Michelle itself made him feel on cloud nine. Nipping the tip of her nose playfully, he chuckled as she let out an adorable squeak. He never wanted their time to end. However, the sudden chime of the manor's grandfather clock slamming midnight broke him from his stupor. Against him, he felt the girl stiffen, and vaguely he could feel his heart sinking.
Not now. Please, it hasn't been that long yet.
Meeting the gaze of his beloved, Feliciano felt his heart broke at the sight of resignation and pain in her eyes. Pulling her closer, his wrapped his arms around her smaller frame and buried his face against her neck, one hand reaching up to tangle her hair. "Please," he pleaded even though he knew it was futile. "Michelle..."
"I'm sorry," the girl whispered. She was starting to tremble again and he hated it, to see her so pained. "Brother, he will be looking for me. I..I have to g-"
"No." That one word, spoken so harshly, tumbled from his lips. Feliciano kissed her urgently, desperation infused with his actions. They had barely gotten reacquainted, but already she was leaving again, slipping from his fingers like water. He knew it hurt her too, but he couldn't help feeling selfish. He never wanted her to go back to her brother, back to that prison, away from him. Their relationship was forbidden, and it would do no good to stay with the other, but he could not pull away. They both couldn't.
Releasing her, he whispered painfully, despair evident in his amber eyes. "Michelle, la mia ninfa, I will find you again."
Michelle shuddered, her form stiff against his touch. It hurt every single time when they had to part. She supposed she should have gotten used to it, but the burning ache always seemed to surprise her. Pressing her lips against his cheek, she pulled away hurriedly, gathering her shoes and slipping back into the stone path before he could see the tears spring forth.
Time is running out, I need to go back.
In the midst of her inner turmoil, her blurry vision caught a flash of swaying fabric. Another masked figure emerged from behind an apple tree along the edge of the path, blocking her way. This time the person was feminine, moonlight illuminated nothing but the blue darkness of her coat. Her right hand gripped a wooden staff, most certainly a prop to her disguise.
Gesturing to her, the sage motioned to the thicket leading away from the stone path and then to the direction of the manor. Nodding once to show that she understood, Michelle attempted to snuff out the approaching tears and tidy her slightly ruffled appearance as she followed the sage through the short-cut back to the manor. Arriving at the ballroom, Michelle was just in time to find her brother starting to search for her.
"Michelle!" Her brother smiled while walking up to her, showing pearly white teeth. "Bontéme, where were you?"
"Frère Francis." Michelle smiled weakly. A quick backward glance showed the sage missing. "I was enjoying the party alone." She lied. She hated lying to her brother, but that was the only way her trysts could happened.
"Well, that won't do. Come, let us dance to one before we go home." Francis smiled merrily, completely missing the pained-filled eyes his sister was concealing due to the heavy lighting in the ballroom. Walking back, he paused once, his mind curious to where his sister's mask had gone. But the night's merriment had dull his senses, and the thought was swept away quickly by the strong musky scent of good wine.
As she followed her brother into the crowd of bodies, Michelle swallowed heavily, refusing to let the tears fall and for her mind to drift back to the lone Italian man in the courtyard. It wouldn't take long for them to met again. She'd just have to wait.
"Fratello."
Movement caused Feliciano to lift his vacant eyes from staring at the ground. A sleek figure materialized from the shadows, taking purposeful steps towards the lone man. "She's gone." Vaguely he could hear the faint hollowness in his voice. How strange, that one person could make all the difference in his life.
"You can't keep doing this, Feliciano."
The sharp tone of his brother made Feliciano wince. Indigence boiled forth and made him growl angrily, a surge of protectiveness overwhelming him at the thought of her. "I love Michelle, brother. I love her and nothing you do will keep me away from her."
"Fool." His companion snarled back. "You will get caught one of these days, and there will be nothing your jester and his friends can do about it." In the tense silence that followed, the figure spoke in a softer, more placating tone. "There will be nothing I can do about it, Feliciano. This has to stop."
"I can't." The brokenness of the man's voice made the figure sighed softly in resignation. "I'm sorry brother, but I love her. Il mio cuore batte solo per lei e solo lei. If they catch me, then so be it. Just as long as I can see her again."
"You are hopeless, idiota." The figure sighed in annoyance.
Smiling ruefully, Feliciano clutched the golden butterfly close to his heart. It seems like his beloved ninfa had forgotten her belonging, so a visit to her abode must be paid soon. Pocketing the mask, Feliciano straightened himself before turning to his brother.
"Lovino, where's-"
"They are at the pavilion, waiting for you. As we speak, your sage is hurrying back from escorting the girl. I was sent to fetch you."
"I see." Adjusting his cloak, Feliciano nodded towards Lovino, a minuscule smile on his features. "Ve, thank you fratello." Following his brother into the shadows, Feliciano casted his mind into his daydreams, looking forward to the next time he could meet the petite girl who had captured his heart once more.
Even if they were doomed for heartbreak and suffering, even if they were a lost cause, he would continue to reach for her, bearing the sin and pain of it all if it meant that he could touch and hold the girl in his arms.
How painful and agonising their love was, but Feliciano knew he wouldn't have it any other way.
A/N
Angst. Angst everywhere xD I may or may not expand on this particular universe in future. I find my concepts of jester, muse and sage interesting so I might want to work on that. Maybe make up a whole organisation or something.
Contributing into the hetero side of the fandom. I love Seychelles and I have read fics where ItaSey works and I really like it, so here you go. I ship these two, but I also ship Seychelles with Romano. Idk man, sometimes I feel like shipping two people, but then I change my mind because I prefer them being bros/friends.
Notes:
This is an AU where France is Seychelles' older brother.
The jester and muse are Hong Kong and Egypt respectively. (I hope you were able to catch that. Claps for you if you did.) I did not specify who the sage was because I based her on my one and only sole female OC so feel free to imagine any female character you want to be the sage. Personally, I think Vietnam fits the character best.
Some translations to help you (so you don't have to check you lazy thing)
Dolce ninfa-Sweet nymph
Mia carissima-My dearest
Mi sei mancato-I missed you
Ballare con me-Dance with me
Il mio cuore batte per lei e solo lei-My heart beats for her and only her