Title: Grateful for the Chances I was Given
Pairing: Claire/Bradford
Disclaimer: Any element of Ugly Betty is not mine even though I wish they were. ;)
Author's note: This is a post one-shot fic after "I see me, ICU". I know I am a little late since there has been another episode since this particular episode, but I thought this was fitting with how it's written. It's from Claire's POV, and it elaborates more so on how things were during that great scene between Claire and Bradford at the hospital among the way everything ended. I hope you enjoy it!
Grateful for the Chances I was Given
Bradford wants to see me…
Daniel and Alexis tried to get me to go back into hiding, but I couldn't spend the rest of my life on the run. I had done that for months now, and it had been an adventure. Now the time had come to face the music. I had to pass the media and the police to get to my husband, but all that mattered now was the fact I had been able to reconnect with my children and within the next few minutes, I'd be able to talk to the only man I ever loved.
I put on a brave face for my children. I had to manage a strong front for them as well as Bradford. This would be the moment in time that would tell me everything I needed to know. I would risk my freedom to spend some time with Bradford Emerson Meade, the man I walked down the aisle to thirty-five years ago, the one who ended up breaking my heart, the father of our children, the man I gave my heart to so long ago.
The elevator doors opened to media flash bulbs and questions that I didn't care to know or acknowledge. I was on my way to see the one person I wanted to see for months. I hated the way thing had turned out with us when it came to Wilhelmina and the way she was able to use the same tricks Fey Sommers had to seduce my husband. Through it all, I still loved him. I always had, but now that this was seemingly the last time we'd spend some time together, I couldn't focus on all of the pain he had caused. I wanted to remember the good things Bradford and I had together.
I drew in a deep breath as I stared into his room before I entered. I wasn't used to seeing Bradford in this condition. No matter how hard it was to see him this way, I had to stay strong and not falter. I learned early in my marriage that showing emotions was not acceptable, and I wouldn't start now. I quietly entered the room to my husband.
I walked up to his bed and leaned over to be close to him. Before I knew it, he looked over at me and our eyes met. The look in his eyes when he saw me meant I was probably the last person he expected to see.
"Claire, you can't be here," he weakly said.
"I don't care," I told him.
I wanted to be here, to be with him, to have that chance to look into his eyes again. And without fail, he still made my heart flutter. The man who had hurt me still had this effect on me that no one else ever could. I couldn't explain why and there were times where I didn't want to feel the way I always had, but I couldn't just let go of him and us.
"I'm so sorry," Bradford managed to get out before he started to cough.
He began to fumble through what he was trying to say after, but I wanted him to rest, to save his strength. I took his hand into mine to comfort him as I sat on his bedside.
"Shh…don't talk. Let's just sit here." I leaned in closely and stared into his eyes. I wanted to know if he actually meant what he had said. I wanted to make sure that what I had been through wasn't for nothing. I had always wondered if I was more to him than just some trophy wife.
"You know, on our wedding day, when I was waiting to walk down the aisle to you, I remember thinking someday that son of a bitch is going to break my heart," I confessed without giving it much thought, smiling slightly at the memory.
"And I did," he said softly without hesitation, looking me in the eyes.
"But I'd take that walk again tomorrow if you could promise me another thirty-five years," I reassured.
I hadn't, I wouldn't give up on us. I never wanted this to end with Bradford especially now. Not like this, but the fact of the matter was that with his weak heart and the way he held things in, it wasn't necessarily surprising to me that he had a heart attack. I wasn't willing to let him go that easily. He had been my husband, and there was no way I'd give that up especially now. I wanted him to know that no matter what he had put me through, I'd still be here as his wife. If his affair with Fey hadn't scared me away then I had no intentions of giving up and walking away from him now.
There was a moment where I couldn't look at him. I had to focus on his hands in both of mine. I had shown my vulnerable side, and I wasn't sure how he'd take it, how he would react toward my revelation because regardless of what we had been through, I wouldn't trade my life with Bradford for anything.
"I never loved anyone more than you," he confessed.
He caught my attention with his words. I never thought I'd hear him say that out loud, to admit that he had loved me more than any other. It blew me away. A feeling of gratitude washed over me.
I turned to see the look in his eyes before I spoke. "Thank you for giving me the greatest life."
Without putting much thought into it, I leaned over and kissed him. I couldn't help but thank him with a kiss for his honesty. I never thought I'd ever hear Bradford Meade say that I was the only person he truly loved. I know there were a lot of things that the two of us hadn't gotten past, but knowing that he loved me more than of the others meant the world to me. He had given me the answer to the main question that I held over my head for so many years.
Our lips parted and I couldn't help but smile at him. "I love you, Bradford. I always have."
Bradford flashed me a smile that I hadn't seen in a long time. The way his face lit up at my words. I hadn't seen him be this happy over anything that had to do with us in such a long time. Without thinking about it, I couldn't help but hug him. I missed the way his arms would hold me and it was nice to have the chance to hold him again.
"I've always love you, Claire," he smiled at me.
He had the same look in his eyes as he did on our wedding day when he promised to love me like no other. Through it all, he had kept his word, and it broke my heart to think that we wouldn't have another chance to make things right. Now that the media and the police were outside waiting, I had to leave him even though I didn't want to. It was something I had to do.
I sighed softly before I let go of his hands. I gave him the best smile I could as I brushed my hand along his cheek. "We'll be together again, my love."
With that being said, I kissed his forehead, and Bradford closed his eyes to rest. I watched him silently before it hit me that this was more than likely the last time I'd see my husband. And for a few minutes, I forgot about the media frenzy outside his room. I stepped out to gather my thoughts, to have a moment to myself to take in what was said.
Before I had a chance to have a moment to myself, there were two police officers who rushed up and arrested me. Everything suddenly became a blur and before I could realize what was going on, I was being carted away from my husband.
"Please let me see him one last time," I pleaded.
I couldn't handle the thought of leaving him again, not when he was like this. I wanted to stay, to keep on eye on him, to make sure that he would make it through this like I had through the tough times in our lives like when Meade Publications first began or when we first learned that Alex had died.
They rushed me out of the ICU against my will, but there was no point in fighting it. They were already against me and saw me as a fugitive when I was just a victim like everyone else. I had dealt with so much when it came to Bradford and all of the obstacles that kept us apart and now that we had a chance to possibly make amends of everything, that chance was taken away from me.
The doors opened as I exited the ICU, and there was Daniel.
"She's not resisting. Don't hurt her. Come on," he pleaded.
I was being rushed out of everyone's lives like I wasn't there and that's what upset me the most. I didn't want to leave my husband and my children. Daniel and Alexis were finally getting to know each other again from what I could tell, and this was so tough to leave them. If I was about to lose my husband, I couldn't stand the thought of losing my children.
"I am not fighting you. Daniel! Alexis!"
Daniel rushed to my aid, and Alexis was close to follow. My children were forced to watch these men drag me away and that was so humiliating. I didn't want them to see me this way…not again, but it was evitable with the circumstances.
I heard Daniel say something to Betty, but I wasn't exactly sure what was going on at that point, but all that mattered was both of my children were there to support me.
"Don't hurt my mother." Alexis begged.
It almost broke my heart to hear her say that. To have my children beg for my well-being was endearing. It reminded me why I was so proud of who they had become.
I always wanted my children to remember me as a loving mother who would do anything for them, and even though I knew I wouldn't be able to be there for them when and if their father died, I wanted to make sure that they were there for each other regardless of how things were between them. They needed each other more than they probably knew because I wouldn't be able to get them the support and guidance they needed and longed for once I was returned to the prison.
I saw the sadness in my children's eyes as I looked back at them once we made it to the police car. They tried to convince the officers that we all needed a moment to say goodbye, but their wishes were not granted. I wasn't able to hug them, but I did remind them of what I wanted them to do for me.
"You two need each other now more than ever. I love you both more than you'll ever know. Watch out for each other."
I gave them my best smile before I was shoved into the back of the police car. This was definitely not the best treatment any Meade deserved, but I had to deal with this for the time being. I knew I was considered to be a felon, but it wasn't like I was a common criminal. I had always seen myself as a loving mother and devoted wife, but now these policemen treated me like I was a murderer or something worse.
All I could do now was take a moment for myself and breathe. On the way back to the jail, all I could do was sit in the back of the car and think about how things had turned out. I was thankful for Betty and her family and the way they had helped me ensure that my children were taken care of and getting to see them and my husband at the hospital was more than I could have asked for. I could only hope that they all knew how grateful I was for all of them.
I couldn't believe how much my life had changed in a matter of hours. I initially thought I'd be leaving the country to go to Italy with Yoga, but now I was in the back of this police car on the way to jail. I could at least say that I saw the most important people in my life before I was put back behind bars.
I stared out the window as they drove me back to the one place I had hoped to never see again. I could only hope that my family knew how much I loved them, how much I wanted to be there in our time of crisis. I loved my family. It broke my heart that I was rushed out of their lives again, but I knew that somehow all of us would make it through this trying time.
Feeling broken about being ripped away from my family, a sudden feeling of pain and grief came over me. I saw it as a sign that something must have happened, and the first person that came to mind was my husband. I knew Bradford was strong and when it came down to it, as much as he wanted to, he wouldn't be with us for much longer. I feared that he had passed on even though I wasn't entirely sure.
Then, a feeling of peace passed over me. I knew in my heart that my husband had taken his last breathe and was in a better place. I couldn't help but smile at all of the happy memories of our life together with our children. We shared a great deal of heartache and happiness, but now that I knew how he actually felt about me, I had closure. I no longer had any doubts about my life with Bradford or the love he and I shared.
Someday we'll be together again…