Bitter Sweet Love

Anime: High School of the Dead

Pairing: Saeko Busujima and Takashi Komuro

Summary: Set after chapter 11 of the anime. Saeko felt that she and Komuro shared something special until reality hit her that Komuro and Rei are in love. She felt confused and foolish, not knowing that Komuro is even more confused and lost than she is. The drama of two people in love.

About the story: (1) my first attempt at a Saeko – Takashi pairing, (2) drama/hurt/comfort, (3) i don't own high school of the dead and lastly (4) warning: if you are a Rei Miyamoto - Takashi Komuro fan, then i am not sure you'll like the story, but if you wish...you can read and give it a try. ^^

Chapter 1: Salty tears

Saeko waited patiently. She knew that someone was inside Komuro's room. She felt a pang in her chest and this brought her to hug the katana in her hands, as if holding it closely will help her feel better. But it didn't.

What made her hold her ground was his promise.

She smiled bitterly and stood quietly outside his door. Truth be told, she doesn't know what she was doing there. She remembered the idea of sharing with him the joy of having received a very special present from Takagi's father. But as to why she needed to share it with someone and why that someone was Komuro was something she could not figure out. The only possible answer is that she is closest to him than any of their colleagues due to their brief rendezvous the day before. Well, the mere acts of kissing and having your chest held by a man is, in itself, physically being close. She blushed profusely at the thought.

But truth be told, it was more than the physical closeness. It was more on the idea that Komuro has broken her barriers and made her share her deepest secret to him. The secret that even her father or any of her friends doesn't know.

Recalling Komuro's words, Saeko felt her cheeks warm up to a faint blush. But then again, boys are impulsive. That promise may have been a result of pity. For him to see her, a strong girl, look so fragile and weak may have been a heart breaker for him. Or probably it was out of desperation. For if Saeko will not wield her sword to fight Them, then she and Komuro should have been dead by now.

What Komuro said was not actually a declaration of love. It was simply a confession of admiration, which may mean that he liked either the strength of her character, her skills in kendo or maybe her physical appearance. But it never was an actual confession that he liked her in a romantic way.

However, if she was to be honest with herself, she wished that he meant it in a romantic way. Humans don't see what they don't want to see. Even Saeko, as a human being, has the tendency to shut her eyes in the things that she wants to ignore. But now, reality is right in front of her – face to face. Komuro is in love with another girl and his heart already belonged to someone else. And right at their very moment, they are alone inside Komuro's room doing god-knows-what.

She was about to turn and leave but she didn't have the opportunity because she heard Rei's voice, which later turned to moans (of pleasure – she assumed).

What she heard glued her to her position. Saeko was still lost in her own thoughts and was caught off guard by Rei's sudden appearance. Feeling like she needed to explain, she immediately became defensive and said "I sensed that someone was already inside, so I decided to wait. I did not hear any voices."

Saeko noticed that Rei looked really surprised and a bit worried, which immediately changed to that of resignation.

Rei's lips curved up to a modest smile and said "sempai, you should talk to Takashi. That would make him happy".

Saeko furrowed her brow a little, not quite understanding what Rei said. But she acted cool, just like she always do and responded, "acknowledged".

"By the way...Would you quit referring to me as sempai? In reality, we are the same-" Saeko continued but was cut off.

Somehow, being referred to as sempai made her feel too old to be with Komuro. Please bear in mind that just like any normal girl, Saeko is confused. At the back of her mind she knows that she has a chance to be in a romantic relationship with Komuro because she feels that Komuro likes her. But her pessimism and insecurity keeps on crushing this thought.

"Don't say that. I don't want to think about it" Rei responded and left.

Rei had clearly misunderstood.

She sighed and waited until Rei turned the corner and was out of her sight. She never liked arguing. She had said her piece and that was enough.

"Saeko-san?" a voice shook her out of her thoughts.

When she turned, she found Komuro peeking outside of his door. He opened the door wider and stepped outside. "What are you and Rei talking about?"

Saeko, being a trained fighter, is a very observant person. Since childhood she has learned to study her surroundings and her opponent before striking. Knowing your advantages and the opponent's weakness is the key to winning any battle. A losing battle must never be fought, unless you have no other options.

Thus, a few seconds of observation has made her realize that Komuro looks worried and that there was a hint of guilt in his voice. So she put on the "sweet-traditional-Japanese-girl-look" and smiled modestly.

First is not to make him worry – "Nothing special, I was just asking her to stop calling me sempai. I believe I requested the same thing to you a few days ago" she said tilting her head a bit to the right and smiled.

She noticed that Komuro's tensed shoulder sagged down a bit. He somehow relaxed. Then he blushed and seemed to feel uncomfortable. "His expressions are quite interesting to watch" she said to herself.

"So, is there anything that you wish to tell me?" he said.

Saeko decided that there was no point in telling him about the sword. Somehow, she felt like he wouldn't care. So she said, "I just wanted to thank you for what you did the other day. It saved both my life and my sanity. Though I must say, your method of convincing me is quite – ummm...disturbing. Not what I expected from you, but effective enough" she doesn't know if her intention was to humiliate him or make him even more uncomfortable than he already is. Seeing him feeling awkward, a bit lost and nervous has elated her senses. Though, it may just be jealousy and irritation talking.

He scratched his head nervously and both his ears and cheeks reddened with embarrassment.

"I'm sorry about that. I was just – "

"Yes. You just wanted to save both our lives right?"

"Don't misunderstand Saeko-san. I meant what I said back then"

"Which part of it?"

"That I admire you and..." he stopped talking. His cheeks blushed even more and the words seemed to be caught in his throat. He coughed and turned his head to the side in an attempt to hide his tomato red face. Steam was literally coming out of his nose and ears.

"That's enough Komuro-kun. I just wanted to say thanks and I already did." She said it a bit too quickly than she intended. She was starting to feel awkward as well, so she decided to end the conversation before it resulted to that.

She gave a curt bow before turning to leave. She stopped walking after a single step when she felt Komuro wrapped his arms around her and buried his face on her right shoulder. The act was quick and subtle. Gentle but somehow desperate.

His breath on the back of her neck was warm. She swallowed hard and attempted to move forward, but Komuro tightened his embrace.

"Let's just stay like this for a while Saeko" he whispered.

She obliged.

He was crying. Feeling his tears falling onto her shoulders made her hold onto the katana tighter. Now it was her who felt lost and helpless.

The other day, he made her happy. For almost 2 whole days, she believed that he liked her and she started falling for him too. The time may be too short for her to say that she is falling for him, but they are in a world that is about to end and no one knows if they will live to see the next day. So she allowed herself to dwell in that little world with him. But since they arrived at Takagi's home, she realized that she had been foolish. He was clearly in love with Rei – seeing the way he looked at her and that how, just a few minutes ago, they were alone inside his room doing whatever they are doing. It was difficult for her to accept reality, but she has to.

"I am not Rei" she lowered her head and whispered bitterly.

"Saeko...please" he pleaded.

She bit her lip. What was she to do?