You've looked at your soulmark in the mirror countless times. It hasn't changed much; not since it had matured into the image of an acoustic guitar, anyway. It had started as a simple pick in the middle of your back and slowly grown into its current form. You used to get excited about it; you used to point the progress out to your mom when the wood had spread out another inch or so and she'd give you a smile and a kiss on your cheek. "Somebody's gonna love you real good one day," she'd said. "I hope they'll treat you right."
You'd stopped showing her the mark's progress eventually. You'd come to understand that she and your dad had been soulmates, and for your mom, seeing you come into your soulmark had always been painful. She has always been afraid that what happened to her would happen to you. You try to hope that it won't, but there's a nagging voice in your head that tells you it almost certainly will.
You're looking at it again before school. It's become part of your routine when you get ready in the morning; you're not really sure why. Maybe because it gives you some semblance of hope for yourself? Somebody is your soulmate, and that means that you've got to be theirs too…right?
You look over your shoulder at the image on your back as you run your fingers over the smooth body of the guitar. It is pretty, at least. The edges of the body fade from black to russet to the natural ochre of the wood, and the oddly-shaped maroon pickguard is adorned with delicate carvings of flowers. The strings are moving, too, being played by the pick that you were born with. It's been playing music since it had been completed, and you've gotten used to it to the point that you don't even notice the music anymore unless you want to. Nobody else can hear the music, though, and you're thankful for that. It would garner more attention than you'd like.
You finally sigh and turn away from the mirror to finish getting dressed before leaving to pick Riley up for school. Presentation day…and boy, you really aren't looking forward to telling the class about May Clutterbucket. You figure you'll just lie and say that you couldn't find anything; no harm, no foul.
Riley's ready to go by the time you get there; she says that she had to get up a little early to make sure Mr. Matthews could bring her "presentation enhancements" to school with him, since she wants to keep it a surprise. You ask her what it is, but she's set on keeping it a surprise, even for you. You leave it alone after that; you can certainly wait an hour and a half for whatever she's planning on wowing the class with.
You're not ready for it when it comes.
You could swear your heart stops when Riley pulls out the guitar and brings it to you. You freeze and you can feel your heart pounding, and you can't ignore the music from your soulmark anymore. It's playing a beautiful calm but uplifting tune that doesn't match the way your stomach is twisting at all. You're taken by such surprise that you barely even hear what Riley is telling you as you force yourself to reach out and take the guitar as she hands it to you.
"This has been in our family for over fifty years," she says, "but I feel like it belongs with you. So, I hope that whenever you see it, it will remind you that even though Rosie's friend gave up, you never should."
You've never been more grateful for the fact that you've never shown your mark to anyone but your mom.
When you get home you pull your shirt off and impulsively look at your soulmark in the mirror again; you still can't ignore the music and something feels different.
It is different. Riley is all over your back, and your heart clenches as you observe the changes in your mark. Little red hearts. Rainbows that spiral up and around the guitar. A nest of daisies and narcissus and orange roses. You don't even have a chance of denying who it's meant for, and now it's even more important that you never show this to Riley; she'd know she's your soulmate immediately and…well, you're fairly certain that you aren't hers. You can't let her have this burden.
Riley's soulmate is Lucas. It's been clear for a while; the bull on Riley's chest absolutely screams Lucas, but you can't stop thinking about how much you love her. It was that moment in class, that moment when Riley handed you your own great grandmother's guitar and inadvertently shown you how much faith she has in you that you'd been struck with the realization of what your feelings meant.
Riley is your soulmate, but Lucas is hers. You repeat it like a mantra whenever you think it could work between you; it stings like fire every time she does something that makes you fall in love with her a little more, every time her skin touches yours, every time her gaze lingers on you. You have to remind yourself that you're her best friend and that you will never be anything more. As much as it hurts you, you want to be exactly what Riley needs you to be, and that's her best friend. Nothing more.
She's noticed that you've been acting differently. You try so hard to keep your façade up, but she sees through it. She knows something is up, but she can't put her finger on it. You feel awful for keeping this a secret from her, but you know she'll feel worse if she knew about it; she'd feel like she's letting you down, as untrue as that is.
So you make excuses. You tell her you're fine, just a little tired. It'll be okay. You try not to think about the fact that she's caught you staring at the bull pacing on her chest twice now.
The third time it happens, she asks about it.
"Maya, you keep looking at my mark," she says. "What's wrong? Did something happen to yours? You still haven't even told me what it is."
Your mark's music picks up speed a bit as concern tinges Riley's voice. You've started to notice that there is a deciding factor in the music, and it's Riley's mood. You don't really have any choice but to pay attention now that you can't tune it out.
"No," you lie. "It's fine. Just wondering why the bull keeps pacing." You take a couple of deep breaths as Riley takes a moment to inspect her soulmark in the mirror to regain your composure. Hopefully she'll be distracted enough to forget that she'd asked about yours.
And she is. She doesn't bring it up again, anyway, and you manage to go the rest of the day without looking at her mark. Your secret is safe for now.
Your heart sinks when you reread the document. Not Tombstone the sheep. Tombstone the bull. This is it; this is when Riley is going to know for sure that Lucas is her soulmate. You've gotten better at hiding your discomfort and you laugh it off; it's as if the realization has no effect on you at all. You'd helped get Lucas into the muttonbusting rodeo for Riley, but now you're kicking yourself for not having read the website more thoroughly. There's no way you're getting out of this one now.
You keep sneaking glances at Riley's mark whenever she's not looking, just waiting for the moment it transforms into something that would confirm everybody's suspicions that Lucas is her soulmate. It doesn't change, though; it remains a lone bull on Riley's chest. It's been sleeping a lot lately. You wonder why that is.
Being at Pappy Joe's place makes you feel like you're on death row, still simply waiting for the inevitable while everyone else has no idea what's taking place inside of you. At this point you've accepted what's to come and all you want is for it to happen soon so that you can get the whole ordeal over with.
Still, though, when the time comes for Lucas to ride the bull, you can't be there. You can't watch Riley's mark change right in front of you, so you walk away from the tent and toward a little hill where you can sit far away from the action. You know that Riley is going to watch the bull ride no matter what, but it still leaves a hollow feeling in your chest when she starts toward the corral rather than going after you.
You can still see into the fence from where you're seated, and you can see the bull. Black, just like the one that Riley's soulmark depicts. You didn't expect any differently.
Riley joins you after Lucas' four seconds of glory, and you don't know how you're going to get yourself out of this. Your façade is cracking and she can tell. You don't say a word as she tries to work out what's wrong with you, and what she comes up with is almost laughable. She thinks that somehow Lucas is your soulmate as well. You wonder if she knows how rare it's supposed to be for two people to have the same soulmate, but you figure it's as reasonable an explanation as any, seeing as how she's never seen your mark.
You let her believe that her theory is true. You're sure it won't last long, but it will at least give you some time to figure out what to say to her when the truth comes out. It envelops your thoughts so fully that you don't even think to look and see what changes Riley's soulmark has undergone.
It isn't until that night that you let your eyes wander down to her chest, and….
Nothing has changed.
You take a while trying to process this information; how could her mark have been any more clear? How could it be the very bull that she watched Lucas ride to regain his dignity and still refuse to change after the fact?
If you think about it too much, your head is probably going to explode. You turn around and leave the room without excusing yourself and wind up in the spare bedroom that you and Riley are sharing over the weekend. You feel uncomfortable and gross, and your first instinct is to change your clothes and go to the bathroom to splash cool water on your face.
The door creaks open as you're taking your shirt off and you freeze when you hear a small gasp behind you. The music coming from your mark is getting louder and you can't even decipher which emotion it's trying to convey; it's erratic, switching between minor and major keys and changing pace and tune as you rush to pull your shirt back down.
When you turn around, Riley is standing in the doorway with her hand over her mouth. She's stock still, and you think you can see tears starting to form in her eyes. Oh…oh, no….This is much, much worse than you'd thought it would be.
"Riles?"
Your voice is soft, cautious. You don't know what to say; you hadn't planned for this situation, and you feel like you might barf if she doesn't say something soon.
"I-I…um…." You hesitate, struggling for words before changing subjects to avoid mentioning the elephant in the room. "Are you alright?"
You don't get a verbal answer, and you don't get what you expected, either. She's on you in a heartbeat, her arms wrapped around you and her face buried in your hair.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
You have to take a few moments before figuring out how to phrase it. "Lucas is your soulmate," you say eventually. "I couldn't mess up your happiness."
Riley pulls back from you and lets one hand come to rest on your shoulder while she pushes your hair out of your face with the other. "Maya…you could never affect my happiness." She pauses. "Lucas isn't my soulmate. I don't want him to be."
"But he is," you say. "You are my soulmate, Riley, but there's no way your mark could mean anyone for you but him."
She's silent for a moment, and she's close to you, too close for your liking. She's staring at you like she isn't meaning to, and your heart flutters in your chest as the music…her music starts to gather itself and form a single decisive melody.
"Maybe soulmarks aren't always right," Riley murmurs softly, "because…I look at you, Maya, and I get this weird feeling in my gut and I don't ever want to look away. I'm happiest when I'm around you and I think I've known that for a long time, but I…I always tried to follow my mark. They're supposed to know best, aren't they?"
She looks more lost than you've ever seen her. She's looking at you for the answer, but you don't know which one to give her or which one is right. You want to believe that she's right, that you can beat the odds and make it work, but you're too scared to give yourself that kind of hope. You don't beat the odds at anything; you're in the bottom ten percent when it comes to luck, and you can't bring yourself to give her any answer at all. All you can do is let your gaze drop.
Her soulmark is changing. You can't help your sharp intake of breath when you see it; it's the most stunning thing you've ever witnessed. Grass is sprouting beneath the bull's hooves. Two trees, a birch and an elm, are rising in the background, the branches and leaves snaking up Riley's neck and a few even settling on her cheek. Calla lilies and daisies on her left shoulder, red chrysanthemums on her right.
"What? What is it?" Riley asks when she realizes you're staring. She grabs your hand and rushes over to the mirror with you in tow, and when she sees the new growth her awed expression splits into a delighted grin. "I knew it!" She turns to you and this time when the music gets excited and joyous it matches you what you're feeling, too. "I knew I wasn't imagining things! Maya…you're my soulmate."
You can't believe it. You…you can't believe any of this. You feel like you're dreaming, and all you can do is let your smile widen across your face as you take in the fact that this is real, that Riley is your soulmate and that you're hers.
You're breathing heavily and you don't notice that you've nearly closed the gap between your body and Riley's, your face tilted up so that you can see into her beautiful brown eyes. Your heart is still racing as you lift one hand to her cheek and run your thumb over the leaves creeping up from her neck before reaching up to place a soft, chaste kiss on her lips.
It's like something in you has physically been released; the weight that had been crushing you since you'd realized Riley is your soulmate has been lifted and you feel like you might float away with the lightness of this new revelation. You feel heady; you haven't experienced this kind of unrepressed joy since Shawn had agreed to date your mom, and this time it's enough to bring tears to your eyes.
"Hey, peaches," Riley says, drawing you into a tight hug. "I'm here; I'm not going anywhere. I've got you."
"So how long exactly have you known that I'm your soulmate?" Riley asks.
"I don't know…about a year, probably," you say. "It was when you gave me May Clutterbucket's guitar," you add with a laugh. "It really hit me how much you care about me and how much you've always meant to me and I just…knew."
"That's such a long time to feel like you're never going to get a happy ending," she murmurs. "I'm sorry you had to go through that, Maya."
"Don't worry about it, Riles." You smile and let your head rest on her shoulder. "I would have been okay eventually even if I wasn't your soulmate, I think," you say. "As long as you were happy and I got to keep being your best friend, I would be okay."
"Well, I'm really glad it worked out the way it did," Riley says firmly, and then her voice softens. "I love you, Maya."
"And I love you."
Author's Note: This was done as a request for somebody on tumblr. If anyone else has any Rilaya requests, feel free to send them to me in a review or in a PM and I'll get right on it :)