Prompt: Kirk, Gaila[,McCoy] - Sly as a fox
Direct Approach
″I wonder if he's gotten any since his divorce.″ Jim cocked his head to the side as he contemplated his best friend. Bones had just walked into the academy mess hall looking as grumpy as ever.
Gaila raised her hand to catch Bones' attention and indicate where they were sitting, waving it around theatrically until he'd nodded his acknowledgment and gone in search of his lunch. She then turned her attention back to Jim. ″Well, if things were bad between him and his ex, then there's a good chance he wasn't getting any for a time before the divorce as well. Poor man's probably tense as hell.″ She shook her head sadly.
″Maybe we should do something about that. I mean, if he really hasn't had sex in a while that can't be good for his health.″ Jim smiled at Gaila's raised eyebrow. ″And I think it would be fun, I admit it. My concern is not entirely humanitarian in nature.″
″I thought not.″ Gaila grinned and crunched into a bright orange carrot stick that contrasted nicely with her skin tone. ″How shall we determine if your suggestion is what would help him?″
″Hmmm, I can ask a few questions, kinda lead up to the discussion. Today's chicken and dumplings day so he won't want to leave before he's done, even if we do piss him off.″ Jim was silent for a moment. ″And just in case, maybe you should sit next to him and block his way to the exit.″
Gaila's eyebrows drew together and her forehead crinkled in thought. ″Why not just ask him? Take the direct approach?″
Jim shook his head. ″Not with Bones, I think. He never tells me things straight-out unless he's annoyed with me or drunk, I have to be sly to get anything out of him otherwise.″
They were interrupted by Bones' tray thumping down on the table – piled high with chicken and dumplings, Jim noted. ″What are you two whispering about. You looked like you were over here plotting world domination.″
″Jim smiled at him. ″Nah, we figured we'd start small and work our way up.″
″Oh?″ Bones dug his fork into his meal.
Gaila scooted her chair closer to Bones' and Jim knew immediately what she was going to do, even as she opened her mouth.
″Leonard, Jim and I think you should have sex.″ Bones' eyes got big and his fork, which had been halfway between his plate and his mouth, dropped back onto his tray with a wet splat. ″With us, ideally, since we are both quite fond of you.″
Jim knew immediately that the blow-up would be immediate and impressive.
::
It was: Bones' yelling, fortunately generally incoherent, could be heard throughout the mess hall.
::
Later that night, as he lay between two sleeping, sated bodies, Jim couldn't help but admit, however, that Gaila's direct approach had some merit.