It's not like Beca was actively hiding it, like she wouldn't fess up if someone had called her on it. I mean... she would have. If anyone had ever really, seriously called her on it, she wouldn't lie. She's not a liar and nothing could turn her into one. She's too stubborn for that. Maybe she'd stumble and maybe she'd be a little vague but she wouldn't outright deny it.

She felt it on the tip of her tongue when she confessed to the girls that DJ Khaled had picked her. It was something about the way Chloe sat down next to her, with all the other girls across from them. Such a small thing, such a miniscule detail that Chloe probably didn't even think about. But that was the part that gave her butterflies: that Chloe didn't even have to think about it. It was just her and Beca, them against the world.

It was something about the blanket wrapped around her shoulders. Something about the way she ate up her whole bottom lip when she smiled, her eyes so eager but genuine when she looked at Beca. It was something about all the girls' unending support that filled her body with a temporary bravado that made her nudge her feet over to find Chloe's. Unabashed as always, Chloe wrapped one leg around Beca's ankle and leaned forward over the table, taking Beca's hand and squeezing it once, nearly invisible, but tight enough for Beca to still feel it when Chloe suggested the hug.

Her words had been swallowed with all the arms wrapped around her. Maybe, she thought, it was for the best. Maybe she was just caught up in the moment. Now wasn't a good time to say anything anyway. There were literally a million and a half things to do, a performance to get ready for, meetings already she had to attend. Saying something now... it was selfish, more than anything. Especially when she didn't even know what she really wanted out of it. Chloe had been accepted to vet school. Beca was going on tour. Their lives were about to diverge, for the first time. She had seven years to say something to Chloe and now? Now, her time was up.

What was she hoping for, anyway? If Chloe confessed to Beca that she had crazy feelings too, that she felt more than friendly towards her and has for awhile, Beca thinks she'd feel uncomfortable. The idea of some big, magic moment made her skin squirm. So maybe that means Beca is in the clear. If she had real feelings for Chloe, it wouldn't make her feel so sweaty and nervous and anxious thinking about Chloe feeling the same way. She'd want Chloe to react by grabbing her and kissing her or... something. Something normal that normal people want with their romantic partners. So not wanting that... that meant she was in the clear. She probably was just feeling a little extra attached to her right now because she had been so close to her, and now the idea of separating made her get all confused and weird.

She had felt so full after her performance, completely at ease with the calmness that her feelings for all the Bellas were exactly equal. She felt no different about any of them. She loved them all equally: more than anything in this world.

So it didn't really make sense. It just didn't make sense how her heart lit up when she saw Chloe walking towards her, then how it dropped when she breezed right by her and went to Chicago. It didn't make sense that her sinking heart suddenly weighed more than her entire body when she saw Chloe kiss him, or how her lungs suddenly seemed to have a puncture hole in them, deflating.

Theo was a welcome distraction because the absolute worst thing that could happen to Beca Mitchell in public was about to happen, tiny prickly wet dots touching the backs of her eyes, so she jumped into conversation with him. She fished through her mind, looking for something smart and sarcastic to quip back with. After making a joke about being a handful, the conversation lulled and she couldn't help it: she craned her neck and stole a glance back at Chloe and Chicago still locked at the lips. Without meaning, an annoyed sigh slipped through her own.

"Everything okay?" he asked with a hint of a smile.

"Hummm?" she asked.

"I asked if everything was okay? Beca?"

Finally, Beca thought with so much irritation in her body she could feel it curling around her fingertips. Chicago looked like a goof, with puffy red lips and dazed eyes. Chloe looked, somehow, as perfect as Chloe always did. Her smile had a little more mischief and confidence than normal as she turned her head, grazing around to see if anyone caught her show. When she noticed Beca, her eyes lit up and she waved excitedly. Beca raised one hand and slowly waved just her fingers back. Chloe told Chicago she'd be right back with a squeeze of his bicep and a wink as she ran towards Beca.

And Beca couldn't help it. She couldn't help but let Chloe swallow her in a hug when she enveloped her and spun her around and squealed.

"Beca! You are so aws!"

"Dude," Beca tried hard to act unamused, but her happiness was leaking out. "Put me down."

"I'm so proud of you." Chloe released her and looked her up and down, then stuck her bottom lip out. Beca's shoulders dropped and she pursed her lips in question.

"What's that face?"

"Nothing. It's a happy-sad."

"That's, like, not a thing."

Chloe flashed her a wide, genuine smile then, the kind that made Beca's heart skip a couple beats inside her chest, the kind that ate up her bottom lip, that made her seem just so happy and excited about whatever comes next. Beca briefly wondered how she could have ever let herself fall in love with someone so the opposite of herself, then berated herself before the thought could even finish. Love? Now she's using the big L word when it's NOT like that. It's NOT that serious. It is not. Not. Not. Not.

"I'm going to come to all your shows to support you."

"Nuh-uh," Beca shook her head. "You're not taking seven years to graduate vet school too."

A surprised laugh came from Chloe then, with a playful shove of Beca's shoulder. Beca told herself it was normal. It was normal to feel happy when you make someone you care about happy. The tingling sensation in her stomach was from performing. It was from a million and one things, none of them being the stupid sound of stupid Chloe's stupid laugh.

"School starts in the fall, silly," Chloe stuck out her tongue and bopped Beca's nose with her finger. Beca rolled her eyes and turned to the side, feeling her cheeks heating just a little.

"You have a job, Chlo."

Chloe shrugged with one shoulder, as if she couldn't argue that point, and Beca pretended it wasn't disappointment flooding through her veins at an alarming rate. What did she want? Chloe to say she didn't? Chloe to quit her job to follow her around on tour?

Chloe pulled Beca's hair from behind her shoulders and curled it around her fingers mindlessly, fixing it.

"I'm stuh-arving. What are you doing? Wanna grab something?"

Beca glanced over Chloe's shoulder, at Chicago still waiting. Beca felt bad for the hatred she had felt for him just a few moments ago. He seemed sweet. Just standing around, waiting for Chloe to come back to him.

"Is he...?" Beca started.

"Oh!" Chloe squeaked. She turned around and waved at him. He waved back, clearly misunderstanding. She took Beca's hand and started walking in the opposite direction, still waving and mouthing bye. Beca pressed her lips together tightly to prevent her laugh.

"That's not nice," she tried to reprimand.

"Why?" Chloe asked innocently.

"You just kissed him! Like, all up on him, practically sucked his face off dude. Not even an explanation?"

Chloe shrugged. "It was just for fun." Beca only shook her head, but let the conversation quiet. "Besides," Chloe added after a moment, "if he likes me, it will just make him come back for more. I can't play all my cards in one night."

"Why play games though?" Beca heard herself ask. "Why not just be straightforward with someone about your feelings for them? Is that ever, like a thing that happens?"

Chloe beamed at her, so brightly it made Beca cringe inwards a little.

"What?" Beca asked.

"That's so Beca of you."

"Is that a... bad thing?"

Chloe's smile somehow brightened as she shook her head. She lifted her hand and rubbed one thumb on Beca's chin, stopping Beca's heart when she briefly rubbed against the bottom of her lip. "Not all of us have the Beca Mitchell charm that makes it so easy for you."

"You are actually kidding now."

"It's a thing," Chloe insisted. "You have this like, brooding, angry, I-don't-care-about-anyone-but-maybe-you're-the-exception charm. It's a TOTAL thing. Like a bad girl kind of thing."

This time Beca let out a squeal of a surprised laugh.

"I'm just going to pretend you're not talking now."

"Whatever Becs, don't believe me! You'll see I'm right when guys are throwing themselves at you on tour, trying to get your number."

And something in Beca, something soft and small, gives her bravery. And she stops walking. Chloe notices just a few steps away and turns with her eyebrows furrowed.

"Becs?" her voice is gentle and full of love and Beca looks up and she knows if she lets it go again, she might never tell her. She looks in the bluest eyes she's ever seen and she can't help it... against everything in her body telling her not to, she smiles. Chloe returns with a small, confused smile of her own. "You okay?"

"What if I don't want them?" Beca asks.

"Hmm?"

"The guys on tour. What if I don't want any of them?"

Chloe's concern turns real now as she steps back into Beca's space, tilting her head and trying to figure her out.

"Then ignore them?" she tries. She doesn't know if it's the right answer. "What's wrong? You don't have to be with anyone if you don't want to..."

"Right," Beca nods. "You're right. Sorry, that was weird of me."

Chloe nods once, unsure, then lets one hand fall around Beca's shoulder. She pulls her into a one-armed hug and squeezes.

"It's been a sups weird night," she offers. "But you were amazing."

Beca lets her head fall onto Chloe's shoulder and keeps it there as they walk. "You smell like vanilla," she notes.

"Ooooh Beca! You noticed I changed my shampoo?! I'm flattered."

Beca rolls her eyes and pushes her away. "Shut up."

Chloe's smile, Beca thinks, could light up the entire world when she looks at her. And she knows it's stupid, naive of her, but she can't help but feel special. Like that smile is just for her. Chloe just has a way about her, this incredible, indescribable way that makes you feel like you're the only person in the world that matters. It's hard to think anything else.