Bittersweet Chapter 1, a gakuen alice fanfic

Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice or the song used in this story

A/N: I'd like to dedicate this songfic to my dear aunt who passed away July 11. She was –and still is– a great woman and mother-figure. Rest in peace, Fanyiyi! XOXOX

Dedication: Thérèse (1962-2011)
Artist: Alexz Johnson
Song: I Still Love You

By the way, I change between Natsume and Mikan's POVs. Hope you don't mind.

We Meet Again

Natsume's POV

What were they doing here?

He constantly asked himself this question as Luna dragged him to a table in the far back, hidden away from everything and everyone. Luna was the classy kind. She enjoyed fancy restaurants and classical music, not quaint little cafés or open mike nights. No, only she loved those.

He mentally groaned. No matter what he did or who he dated, he couldn't get over her. She was like the never-ending plague. She incessantly invaded his mind and it was killing him inside.

Till this day, he still couldn't understand why she cruelly grabbed his heart with her bare hands, squeezed the life out of it and stomped on it as if it were trash. She said he completed her, for God's sake! So then why? Why the fuck did she break up with him?

"Natsume?"

Too preoccupied with his thoughts, Natsume had completely forgotten where he was and who he was with until his girlfriend's voice brought him back to reality.

"Wait here and I'll get us some drinks."

No, he had had enough of her and herdrama. Right now his current girlfriend was more important, especially since he had no idea why she broke their dinner reservations just to go to this infernal place.

"What the hell's going on, Luna?"

Unfazed by his nasty tone, Luna replied, "I came here one night after a long day at work; and while I drank, I heard this one band play. Their music was incredible, and you know how I am with music." She took one good look at his puzzled face and laughed half-heartedly. "Just trust me and enjoy the show. I know you won't regret it."

Sighing, he let her go and watched her vanish behind the crowd.

When she came back, Luna handed him a cup of black coffee, just the way he liked it, while she, on the other hand, had some type of alcoholic coffee. He wondered why she was drinking that but let it slide, instead curious about who was performing. From all the years he'd known her, Luna was the pickiest girl known to man. If something impressed her, it was worth cancelling any plans you had for it.

"That was a wonderful performance, Kageshirō. If I wasn't married, I'd have replaced the poor sap that dumped you."

The familiar voice pulled him away from his thoughts and his eyes practically bulged out of his sockets when he saw her. Why was Sumire here? He hadn't kept in contact with any of her friends after she broke up with him. Did this have something to do with that band Luna mentioned or was it all just a coincidence?

"Don't talk like I'm not here!" yelled out a voice.

"Relax, Koko," Sumire replied and winked. Then she blew a kiss. "You know I love you."

"Aww…" echoed throughout the entire room.

Sumire rolled her eyes. "Anyway, it looks like we're down to our last performer. She's one of our top regulars, so I know you'll love her to bits. Give it up for the one and only, Sakura Mikan!"

Natume could not believe his ears. She was here? He hadn't seen her for almost a year now! Why would she…

It suddenly all clicked. His girlfriend was the one that set this up. But what was she trying to pull?

-0-

Mikan's POV

Mikan drew in a sharp breath as Sumire called out her name. She was utterly nervous about this particular performance. Usually she did covers of previously written songs like Pink or Sarah McLachlan, but today she was singing an original and she had no idea if people would like it.

She sighed. Why on earth did she agree to do this again? Oh right, because her life was on the line. Hotaru was a sneaky one.

Like a ritual, her eyes gingerly traced the inspiring white words (i.e. love, believe, respect) written on the gorgeous ebony piano before she sat down.

'This is it,' she thought.

"I know I usually sing song covers for you guys, but I thought I'd do something a little different today. How would you all feel if I sang an original?"

In a matter of seconds, the silent crowd went wild upon hearing her and Mikan smiled confidently.

"I wrote this song about a week after I broke up with my boyfriend. Mind you I didn't want to break up with him, but I felt like I had to. I was holding him back. I knew I was even if he didn't say anything."

Memories of that night flooded her mind and Mikan was forced to close her eyes, taking a deep breath as she did so, before she could continue. If she didn't, she knew the tears would come.

"But I was being selfish. I wasn't thinking about him or his feelings. I was just thinking of mine because maybe I was secretly scared that he'd eventually get tired of me. But if I could, I'd go back in time and stop myself from breaking up with him. It was the biggest mistake of my life."

She scoffed at her stupidity. Not only did that sound corny as hell but now she was just rambling. If she didn't stop herself soon, she'd probably tell the whole world her life story.

"But I guess there's no point. Last I heard he moved on."

"Aww…" went the crowd.

Despite the pain, she let out a small smile. She had expected the crowd to boo her off the stage by now since she wasn't even singing yet, but their reaction had proved her wrong. She was glad to have these strangers on her side, and even more so when she spotted her friends raising a glass to her.

"So wherever you are, Nat, whatever you're doing, I hope that one day you'll forgive me."

-0-

Natsume's POV

To say he was shocked would be the understatement of year. He was flabbergasted and then some. Did she actually mean what she said or had she known he was here?

No, that couldn't be it. If she had known he was there, she wouldn't have said all of that the way she did. Mikan was a straight-to-the-point kind of gal. If she really knew he was there, she would have spoken right to him…with a spotlight on him, no less. His current girlfriend definitely kept it a secret from her as well.

If we walk away now
There's no turning around
Gotta say what I mean
While you're here with me
I'm not sure I'll find words
To cover the hurt
That I see in your eyes
But I gotta try

I know rocks turn to sand
And hearts can change hands
And you're not to blame
When the sky fills with rain
But if we stay or walk away
There's one thing that's true
I still love you
I still love you

"Why?"

Taking a deep breath, she grabbed his hand in hers and solemnly stared into his eyes. "I was your best friend before I moved to Hokkaido, Natsume. I knew how you were back then: a real big softy in spite of your tough exterior." Luna briefly smiled as she remembered his old self, but it vanished so quickly that Natsume thought he imagined it. "You were different when we met years later. You were cold and distant, kind of violent and such a workaholic. It shocked me so much that I didn't know what to do or say. All I knew was that you needed someone to be with you. That's why I agreed to date you the moment you suggested it. I thought that I could change you back to who you once were."

By now, Luna could feel the tears coming but she blinked them back in fear of not holding her end of the plan. She wanted the old Natsume back, not this cold-hearted workaholic.

"I was naïve to think you would change for me. Sakura-san… She was more than just a girl to you, wasn't she?"

Though he remained silent, his eyes spoke volumes and Luna knew she couldn't win this fight.

Can you search down inside
Let go of your pride?
If I forget trying to win
And just let you in
I didn't travel this far
To watch it all fall apart
So give me your hand
And take a chance

I know rocks turn to sand
And hearts can change hands
And you're not to blame
When the sky fills with rain
But if we stay or walk away
There's one thing that's true
I still love you

"I never came here after work, Natsume. It was actually during one of our fights. I was depressed and thought that maybe I could drink the pain away. Shouda-san was also there, drinking away her sorrows as well. After a few drinks, I started ranting about you and who you had become. I hated it and cursed the girl that did this to you to oblivion. That was when I found out about Sakura-san from Shoda-san. She told me about how you no longer kept in contact with any of them because of her. I've seen you with your other girlfriends before, Natsume. You don't just cut ties because of a girl. You have to give her another chance."

Riding with me as close as before
Whatever happens, I won't ask for more
Here in my heart from now 'til the end
Flame out or fly, we have to try again

"But I like you, Luna."

"I know you like me, Natsume, but not in the same way I do. Like I said, I want you back the way you were and I'd do anything for that."

Natsume opened his mouth to say something but Luna stopped him.

"Don't say that you'll learn to love me. Please don't," she begged. "You know you won't. So don't get my hopes up with fake promises. Just…be happy."

"Thank you," he said with softened eyes. "I owe you for this."

"No, Natsume. I should be the one owing you. Despite who I was, you stuck with me until the end. I appreciate it. Now go get her before I change my mind."

Natsume got up from his seat and pecked her on the cheek before making his way backstage. He surely wouldn't forget her efforts in helping him get back together with his ex-girlfriend.

"Good luck," she whispered and chugged the rest of her coffee in one go. "God knows you're going to need it."

If we stay or walk away
There's one thing that's true
I still love you
I still love you

-0-

Mikan's POV

It was such a rush! She'd have to thank Sumire and Hotaru for doing this for her.

"Is it true?"

That voice stopped her dead in her tracks. It was impossible. She was hearing things wasn't she?

"It is true?" the voice repeated, this time sounding more desperate than before.

When Mikan turned, she couldn't believe her eyes. He was there. He was there.

Her heart started racing. Her breath hitched. What was he doing here?

Before anything could register, Natsume grabbed her and brought his lips to hers. Mikan wanted to resist, wanted to leave, but she couldn't. She needed him more than ever now. His voice, his touch, his kisses. She missed everything about him! But she knew this wasn't right. He had another girl, and Mikan was not the cheating type.

"This is wrong, Nat…" Mikan said breathlessly after their lips parted. She tried to escape but he held her tight against his chest. "You have a girlfriend, and I'm not the cheating kind."

"I never did."

"What?"

"I know I went out with Luna, but she was never my girlfriend. I only used her to ease my pain. I didn't want to, but she was all for it. And I took advantage of it." Still holding her closely, he released her slightly if only to look Mikan in the eyes. "I could never replace you with another, Mikan. I've always loved you."

This was impossible! After everything she had said, everything she had done, he still loved her?

The fear and relief was too much for her poor body to take. And in the midst of it all, she fainted.