A/N: Just a one-shot ( I've been doing a lot of those lately, huh? ). What I thought during the sweat lodge scene. What could have happened.
I hope you guys enjoy it and remember to review and tell me what you thought of it! :)
Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi.
"I can't believe you told him that!"
"Yeah, me neither."
She ran out of the sweat lodge after yelling and failing her arms everywhere. She had to escape from everything and from Eli. Especially him. She stumbled over a crack on the floor and chuckled mentally when she stopped and felt her knees give in. Clare fell to the ground with a thump and sat down, holding her shirt above her chest, catching her breath before laughing at herself.
Her shaking hand touched her cheek and she coughed, choking on a sob. Damn tears, she thought bitterly, sighing and blinking away the salty water that threaten to spill from her sockets. She parted her lips and let out a shaky breath and stood up, looking back to see the sweat lodge high and mighty – or in this case low and mighty.
All her feelings towards the boy that came back from a hiatus were overwhelming for her and when he said that he wasn't "crazy" but "bipolar", she couldn't anymore. She snapped. On top of that, Jake had no right to talk about their relationship issues to Eli.
My ex-boyfriend. She cursed under her breath when she saw the tall, slim figure clad in black walk towards her. He wore a concerned façade, but at the same time his facial features stayed stern while his eyes soften at the curly haired girl.
She didn't want to talk to him. She didn't want to have to do with anything he did. Clare wanted to expunge her memories of him and he was so persistent with their relationship that Clare started to over think her feelings for the young teen that stood in front of her.
She wiped her eyes and looked down at her feet, chewing on her bottom lip nervously. What did he want to tell her? Did he want to laugh at her? Did he want to get a hold of her wrist and drag her back to the sweat lodge? Fix things for her? Tell her how he still loves her? Bring back the day of the play?
She shook her head, her curls were tousled with the strong wind that blew and it covered her red eyes. Eli let out a breath of air and scratched the back of neck, a grin stretching from ear to ear as Clare stood there shaking in anxiousness.
What does he want?
"What?" She deadpanned, flattening out her hair with her hand.
Eli stayed silent, thinking about something before responding, "I was making sure you were okay. You are, right?"
She nodded and began to walk away from him. Much to her dismay, Eli stopped her by stepping in front of her and she gasped, walking to the other direction but, once more, Eli stopped her and she sighed stomping her foot on the floor and crossing her arms under her chest. She huffed and looked at her ex.
"Me again," he said childishly and she rolled her azure eyes at him.
"I'm…I'm okay," she responded hesitantly, looking away from him.
"You don't sound okay," He pressed on, his eyes boring into her skull.
His eyes on her burned and she bit her lip when her eyes became watery and she turned to face away from Eli. The boy behind her raised an eyebrow at her action and wondered why she was shaking. Was she cold? When she hiccupped, Eli laughed tauntingly, making Clare flush and turn to glare at her ex, tears caressing her cheeks.
"Don't laugh!" She said with a sob, wiping away her tears which poured violently.
He kept laughing, wiping away his own tears as he settled down and sighed, giving her a soft look. She stared up at him with red, puffy eyes and gave him a pleading look that told him not to tease her. He smirked, lowering his gaze to stare down at his black shoes and shrugged.
"Jake told me to go look for you…"He mumbled in annoyance as the other boy's name rolled off his tongue.
Clare gaped up at him and arched her eyebrows looking at him incredulously. "Oh, okay," She started; sounding irritated which made Eli look up at his ex in amusement. "Not only does he not want to go see the movie with me but he needs you to talk to me?" She screeched, pointing her index finger at Eli and taping his shoulder. "I cannot believe him!"
Eli chuckled as she poked his shoulder and how she threw her arms everywhere and how her face became red and he realized he still wasn't over this girl. Clare tried to calm her erratic breathing by fanning herself with her hand and she looked at Eli, putting her hand son her hips and giving him a questioning look, her eyes beginning to water again.
"Clare, Clare calm down," he ordered, giving her a smile and touching her shoulder in a friendly manner.
She pushed his hand away and bit her lower lip forcefully, before scoffing at him. "Don't tell me to calm down, Eli!" She snapped, pacing back and forth, groaning in annoyance.
"Clare," He dragged out, stopping her from moving by placing either hand on her arms. She looked at his arms and then at his green eyes. "…He loves you, Clare."
She gasped and stepped back, looking between Eli and seat lodge. "You're kidding, right?" She said in honest amusement.
"No, he does," He said dryly, looking at the sweat lodge and back at the blue eyed beauty in front of him.
The smile on her face fell and it was replaced by a serious face. Her eyes flashed in confusion and she furrowed her brows. "You're not kidding, are you?"
He shook his head and said, "He truly cares about you and he makes you happy and I want you to be with him and –"
"But I don't!" She yelled at him. "I can't love him…I don't want to." Her eyes softened at Eli when he looked at her with sad eyes.
"Oh, Clare…"
"Look at us! Every time we talk we argue and disagree. As much as you want to tell me how we didn't end like my parents we did!" She screamed out, crying furiously. "I made the mistake to fall in love with you and look how that ended," She said sardonically. "That's why I –"
"You're in love with me?" He said, looking at her with hope written over his face.
She felt a blush creep up to her cheeks and she shook her head. "N-no!" She stuttered. "I don't. I said that I loved you. I used to. Not anymore."
"You really think I believe you, Plath?" He inquired, smirking at the blushing girl who nodded and played with the hem of her shirt. "You do. My, oh my, Clare Edwards. You still love me."
"Do not!" She spat.
The smirk he displayed irked her to no end. The smile he sported made her angry at him. The grin he shows off made her hate him. And his laugh made her stomach does back flips.
I still love you, Eli.
Eli shook his head, "Clare, just tell me what you're feeling. It can't hurt, could it?"
"I – uh…" She muttered under her breath.
"Speak up," He said, doing a gesture with his right hand that meant louder.
"I like Jake," She confessed, feeling his stare on her. "But, um…I, uh…"
"You?"
"I can't love him…because I don't want to end like us," She said silently, giving him a sad look, her eyes reminding him of those of a lost puppy.
He sucked in a breath and exhaled, a tear slipping pass his socket. "You do love me. And I love you…"
"I know! I do! But I can't… I just can't. I don't want you in my life let alone talk to me because I'll fall for you even more! Is that what you wanted to hear? That I don't love Jake that I love you! Is it? Tell me! Tell me God dammit!"
He grabbed the small of her back and hugged her in an iron grip. She was surprised to say the least, as her arms clutched his forearms and her head rested on the crook of his neck and as she inhaled his scent.
"Don't let me go again, Eli," She whispered, as he clutched her tighter and tighter making her whimper.
"Never," He whispered back, letting her go slowly.
"Maybe," she began, her eyes fluttering, "we should go back and talk to Jake."
"Maybe," he said, smiling at her.
She gave him a smile and cocked her head. They could make things work in the end.
