By Steve2
Introduction:Initial summary for this story: Neville travels to the past in order to save the Life, Universe, and Every… oh, wait. Wrong story. Ahem. Neville travels to the past in order to save the present… er… the future. Or perhaps just get laid.
Alternate summary for this story: Neville was a driven man. He knew of days where things needed to happen. He remembered days where things had happened. He suspected he had a destiny in days undone. But c'mon – where the heck was that bloody Time Turner!
Origin of this story: Rorschach's Blot has many stories, of which this story is not based on one of them. Surprise, eh? However, his Yahoo group site has many conversation threads. One such set of threads comprises a list of story ideas Rorschach jots down from time to time. Sometimes the story idea is for Harry Potter, other times for a different story entirely like Scooby-Doo or Naruto. At the time this introduction was written, there were just over 700 ideas. I began reading these ideas, chuckling at some. One of those ideas clicked in my head and I thought to write a story about it. As I kept reading these ideas, another one clicked. Then another. Soon it was an avalanche of ideas. I knew I could have created one story after another with these ideas, but then my evil mind (which I call Bob and keep in a jar on my nightstand) began working them together and I decided to incorporate them into one massive story.
How to do it, how… I thought. Bob wasn't answering – no matter how many electrical shocks I gave it. I knew I wanted to do one massive story, but some of these ideas were not linear. However, it suddenly hit me. Neville. He was the catalyst. Once I had that in mind, idea after idea began to gel into place.
This story now has many of those ideas in here. I will identify each idea at the conclusion of the chapter it is in.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter series. This is purely for fun. Also, I own nothing. No money is being made from this.
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Chapter 1: Introducing… Neville Wharami!Downstream 1976
On a Saturday morning, one day in mid-November in 1976, James, Sirius, Peter, and Remus pursued one of their favorite hobbies while at Hogwarts: exploring. To be fair, the term "exploring" held many connotations with this group of friends. Some of the options included: exploring the depths of the kitchen, exploring different ways to get others to do your homework, and one of the best they did continual improvement on: explore how to get others blamed for the mischief the Marauders came up with.
Oh yes, they enjoyed exploring. But none of those were what they were currently engaged in. In fact, the group, as a whole, was not even all that engaged in what was going on.
"C'mon guys," Peter whined, clearly unhappy with the fact that Remus, Sirius, and James were checking out every classroom in this deserted part of the castle. It wasn't as if they simply opened a door, took a glance around the room, and then left. Oh no, Peter mentally berated his friends. They had to actually go into the room and explore all the shelves, cabinets, and anything else they could find.
"You know," James said over his shoulder to an irritated Peter, "this would go a lot faster if you actually helped us."
"Why bother? All we ever find is junk. You said we were going exploring for treasure. You know, finding a new way to get into the girl's showers."
"No," Sirius corrected. "We said treasure and we meant treasure. I mean, we've already found three…"
"Four," Remus absently corrected as he pulled books off the shelf to look for any sort of hidden latch.
"Right. Four cursed quills."
"But that's all junk!" Peter mentally implored his friends to give up this quest to find useless junk and instead work on finding a way to girl's showers. Any of the girl's showers. He didn't care. He'd never had a girlfriend. He'd give anything to simply get laid.
"True," Remus agreed that they had only found junk of a sort so far. "James! Here! Look at this!"
James and Sirius converged on Remus and saw the askew book on the too-narrow ledge.
Peter also saw it. "It's a book. Someone just put it down like a hundred years ago and forgot it."
"That's what whoever put it here wanted us to think. But look at the title!"
"Hogwarts a History. So?"
Remus looked at his fellow dorm-mate. The jerk was really getting on his nerves. "Read the rest of it."
"The definitive 23rd edition."
"Right! You know what this is, right?! It's a clue!"
"What the hell are you talking about, you turkey?"
"Peter, the current Hogwarts History version is only the 23rd edition. This book shouldn't have existed when it was put down here and covered with dust. It's a fake. Therefore, it's a clue," Remus pointed out to Peter, who only looked more constipated.
"You're right!" Sirius beamed. "It's a clue. Maybe it'll take us to a bag of holding, or an enchanted arrow that always returns."
"Whatever," Peter snarked, thinking of how he could ditch these guys and find a true treasure: the floo address for Trista Johanson, a Hufflepuff with a couple decent hufflepuffies.
A loud sound emanated from a corridor they were in about an hour ago.
"Did any of you hear that?" Peter inquired.
"Yeah. It sounded like kerupfle," Remus pondered.
"No, it was more a glumba," James suggested.
"Could it have been a loud splat?" Sirius thought aloud.
"Guys! It was a noise. You were touching that book. Maybe it's a clue!" Peter pressed. He would say anything to get them out of that bloody classroom. Hopefully it was just the wind, and maybe, just maybe, they'd go back to the real treasure hunting.
"Yeah!" James grinned. "It was a clue. Let's go!"
The four ran out of the room, searching for the source of the sound. It wasn't hard to find. A few minutes later they found a fellow 6th year. One they didn't recognize.
"Hey," Sirius greeted.
"Sirius Black, right?" the young man said, a wild gleam in his eyes as if seeing something for the first time.
"Yeah. Who're you? And why are you wearing a Gryffindor patch on your… uh… robes?"
"Better question," James said. "What the hell happened to your robes? They look horrible."
"Thanks," the teenager grinned. "I can live with horrible. Non-existent would have been worse. You guys lost too?"
"No," Remus said. "We know where we are."
"You do? Thank god! You can take me back to the common room?"
"Who are you?" Peter reiterated.
"I'm Neville. Neville Wharami. And am I glad to see you guys again."
"Again?" Peter said. "I don't remember meeting you."
"What?! We were sorted together on September 1st, 1971. The five of us were in the same dorm. Haven't you guys ever wondered about the 5th bed in the dorm? Or wondered where I've been?"
"Uh," Remus theorized. "I guess I always thought all dorm rooms had an extra bed?"
"You guys shitting me? You forgot me?! You bastards! I got up early the 2nd of September in 1971 to go exploring and got lost. I've been lost for five freaking years. I've had to scrounge for food and live off the land – well, more like live off what I find in a classroom. Thanks a fucking lot for thinking about me. Or searching for me for that matter."
"Um," James shared a glance with Sirius.
"You want lunch?" Sirius suggested.
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Roughly 20 minutes later, the five teenagers were in the Great Hall where Neville was eating lunch with gusto. The four friends shared a concerned look with one another and then look back at the missing 6th year Gryffindor. How had they forgotten him? A fellow Gryffindor of all things.
Curious glances were thrown to the newcomer. Who was that boy? How did he end up at that table? What was the best way to rid the world of that deplorable James Potter? Wait… that was Snape. He didn't count.
"James," Lily quirked an eyebrow to the new kid. "Who's this?"
"Lily," Sirius said with shocked indignation. "Surely you remember Neville Wharami? He was sorted into our year."
"What?" Lily immediately ran all the faces and names through her memory to find a Neville Wharami.
"Who is this, Mr. Potter, and why did you bring a stranger into the school?" said the voice of a strict McGonagall as she sternly strode to the table.
Neville looked around for a stranger. Not finding one, he swallowed the rest of the roll he had in his mouth, then at the teacher hovering over him. "Stranger? Where?" he started, then stopped with understanding. "Oh, you mean me? No worries. I'm a student here!"
Minerva scowled and replied, "I find that hard to believe."
"But I was! I was sorted into Gryffindor. Along with these guys. Don't you remember me?"
Minerva did not buy it. "Alright you lot, who is this student?"
"I'm Neville Wharami. I remember being sorted into Gryffindor, going to our room in the Gryffindor tower, stepping through the painting and all that, and the next day I decided to go exploring. I've been missing ever since. Don't any of you remember me?"
"You mean to tell me, you've been missing for five years?"
"Five years and two and a half months actually. This is the middle of my sixth year. Why didn't you ever come look for me?"
"Why didn't you ever call for a house elf or ask a ghost for assistance if you were missing for so long?"
"I did!" Neville stated forcefully. "I asked for house elves to help me and they brought me food. At least I think it was them. I mean I never saw them or anything. I did manage to find classrooms to sleep in, and read what was on the boards and in the books."
"They brought you food? That's all they did?" Minerva arched an eyebrow.
Neville nodded. "That's my story."
"And did they bring you anything to drink?" She had to get to the root of this tomfoolery.
Neville thought for a moment, scratching his chin. "Come to think of it, no they didn't."
She had him now and said, "The human body must have water to survive, Mr. Wharami. How, then, did you manage to survive for five and a half years without water?"
"It was Peeves. He kept bringing me water. He is the reason I am alive today."
Professor McGonagall scoffed. "I find that hard to believe. Peeves? Helping anyone?"
Peeves shot into the Great Hall at that moment and pelted the poor missing Gryffindor with a few water balloons. "Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!" Peeves chortled. "Take that, Nevvie!"
Neville, dripping wet, took the moment to wring out his clothes into a nearby goblet, as if saving his water for later. "See? That's how he brought me water."
Minerva was horrified that this poor boy's story could be true. She looked to the ceiling. "Peeves! Did you ensure this student stayed lost for five and a half years?!"
Peeves blew her a raspberry. "Hahahahaha! You can't prove it! Pastries in room 206!"
"We better get to room 206 before whatever invisible force is in this castle removes those pastries. I've learned through bitter experience not to ignore his suggestions of where to find food."
"Invisible force?" James questioned aloud.
Neville nodded. "Yeah. Something is always coming along and removing food and cleaning classrooms and putting a bed out for me to sleep in. That helped, I tell you."
"Then why didn't you ask that invisible force for new clothes instead of wearing… those? They look like what someone would wear as a first year," Sirius pointed out.
Neville stared at Sirius as if he were dumb. "They are what I wore as a first year, dummy. I've been repairing them for years. Anyway, I need to contact my parents. What did they say when you lost me?"
"Young man, I certainly never lost you," Minerva said with a little less conviction than before.
"I've been missing for over five years! I'm sure my parents paid for an education for their son, one that included going to classes, sleeping securely in a dorm, eating regular meals, and coming home during the summer. Instead, due to your inaction as the head of my house, and the lack of thinking from the prefects in the house, I've had to teach myself everything I know! I've had to eat what I could scrounge. Not to mention lick water off the damn floor! And I haven't gone home during the summer, nor seen my family for years! So, what are you going to do about it?" Neville crossed his arms, an angry scowl visible.
Professor McGonagall sighed. "I'm not sure what I can do about it, Mr. Wharami. As I said, I don't recognize you."
"How can you not recognize me?! I'm a pureblood. I think. Don't you recognize my family name?"
"Wharami? No, that is not one I recognize."
"Maybe he's from the mainland," suggested a third-year Gryffindor with a shrug to his friends at the table that indicated, 'Hey, it could happen.'
"I guess that is possible," Minerva theorized slowly.
"Wait!" Lily thought things through.
"Yes, Miss Evans?" Minerva raised an eyebrow.
"I think we are pronouncing his name wrong. It's not War-hami. I think it is really Where-am-I. Neville, what do you parents look like?"
"Uh, there's a father that looks like me. And a mother that looks like me. And, uh, a dog?"
"Professor, I don't think Neville remembers his past since he's been lost for five years, and alone all that time," Lily informed her head of house. "He likely doesn't remember his last name."
"Hmmm, you may be right, Miss Evans." She directed her attention to Neville. "Young man, eat, retire to the Gryffindor dorm, rest, and tomorrow I will have you meet our medi-witch when she returns from a consultation. Other than that, I'm not sure what else I can do."
Neville's arms flew up. "You don't know what else you can do? You don't know?! I'll tell you what will happen! There are two choices as I see it. One, when I remember my name, I'll call my parents or whoever is in charge and let them know what happened. I will then ask they do their upmost to take legal action against this school, entangling all monies in the school coffers up in legal actions for years. This should ensure none of your teachers get paid during that time. Or two, you get me a replacement wardrobe, find me a trunk, and get me back into the school routine. That way, you may be able to mitigate some of the damage the eventual lawsuit will bring. And maybe stay open."
Minerva knew both choices were bad, but further inaction was worse. "Very well, Mr. Wharami. I will see to it you are active on the school rosters again and look into why you were lost for so long. I will also check to see if there is some recompense for you." Plus, she thought, she would let the Headmaster work this out; after all, that was what the bloody git was there for.
Neville crossed his arms again. "Sounds good as a start. Now we all need to get to room 206 before those pastries are gone."
"Um, Neville," Remus said. "We can escort you to the kitchen where house elves will get you anything you want anytime."
"You can? I've been looking for that for years! Let's go!"
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Author's Notes:
This is the start of a story that will take place both Upstream and Downstream.
This chapter based off the following:
Original Rorschach's Blot Idea #397. Exploration of Hogwarts and all sorts of crazy rooms or items. If you want your character to have a cool magical item, why not try this rather than a shopping trip? I don't mean writing a dozen pages about all the cool magical items you've thought up, this is fun for the writer, less so for the reader.
Original Rorschach's Blot Idea #135. First year students occasionally get lost in the halls of Hogwarts, sometimes very lost, but they're usually found within a year or five.