The sound of lively string music radiated from the Grand Hall to fill every corridor of the palace. Regina descended the stairs, taking extra care on the plush red carpet in her uncomfortable heels.
"Oh hurry up, it'll be over by the time you get there" Zelena snapped from the bottom of the stairs.
Regina let her hand brush the ornate wooden banister under the pretence of admiring it, though really she wanted something to grab in case she fell. She felt faint, not just because her corset had been strung too tight.
"I can't believe mother let you wear black, you look like you're going to a funeral" Zelena spat
'Am I not?' Regina thought and felt the threat of tears at the back of her throat.
"At least I don't look like a Christmas tree" she replied. Zelena glared at her. Her billowing green dress was beautiful and she knew it.
"I suppose you need something slimming. Apart from your dance lessons, you've been an absolute lump since your accident" Zelena threw back at her and looked down the corridor.
A shock of nerves went through Regina at the reminder of Emma. She felt sick. She wanted to go to bed and sleep forever.
"I hope she at least taught you something, though dancing was never really your forte" Zelena turned back to her sister to see her turning a pale shade of grey.
"Regina?" Zelena exhibited a rare moment of genuine concern.
"I'll be fine" Regina said. She reached the bottom of the stairs and waited a moment to catch her breath.
Zelena watched her, unconvinced.
"You can't let mother see you like this" she said quietly, glancing again down the corridor as if she expected to see her any moment.
Regina placed her hand on her stomach and breathed out slowly. She felt hot and suffocated.
"It's just the corset" she lied.
Emma's face swam before her. Guilt ate away at her like she had swallowed acid. Music slurred in her ears with the sound of her own blood rushing.
"Regina, sit down" Zelena didn't wait for an answer, she held her sister's arm tightly and lay her back against the stairs.
"Princess Regina!" A guard appeared at Zelena's side
"Get away!" Zelena snapped and him and he recoiled "she needs space, have you ever worn a bloody corset? Go and stand in the corridor, make sure no one comes this way. Go!"
He gave Regina one last look. She was sure her face was white as a sheet. Sitting helped her heartbeat slow but her ribs and chest still felt crushed, only now she was crushed at an angle.
"We're going to get up again in ten seconds" Zelena said to her and Regina tried to compose herself. She felt Emma's strong arm around her waist, but when she opened her eyes it was Zelena helping her to stand.
"We're going to walk slowly to the hall." Zelena said gently "I'll distract mother for as long as I can, but she is going to have you dance with every prince in there." They walked arm in arm towards the music.
"Tell them to fetch you refreshments when you need it, or when you just want them to go away." They stood together in front of the doors as Zelena passed on small measures of wisdom.
"If you get a lively one, maybe try to engage him in conversation about something. They always want to talk about how big their kingdoms are if you know what I mean" The corner of her mouth curled wickedly.
Regina drew a breath as deep as her corset would allow and let it out slowly.
Zelena nodded at the footman standing by. The doors opened. The gentry of what looked like several different kingdoms greeted them.
"The Royal Princesses Zelena and Regina" Called the Scrollmaster.
Regina felt like she could be sick. Everyone in the hall turned to look at them. Zelena snapped her fan open and fluttered it momentarily to hide her mouth.
"For heaven's sake Regina, smile!" she whispered forcefully and snapped her fan away again.
Regina felt like her smile cracked her skin, cracked the mask she was trying to create that said all was well. Her stomach lurched at every blonde woman she saw. None of them were Emma.
"Darlings" Cora said as they approached "that took an awfully long time" she said with a smile that didn't reach her eyes.
"Regina's gotten rather fat and lazy since her accident, mother, can barely handle a simple corset" Zelena sneered from her mother's side. Cora missed the glimpse of concern in her eyes, though Regina didn't.
"Well" she said after a brief pause to scrutinize Regina's appearance "don't let your discomfort impact the evening. I don't want to hear a single complaint"
Zelena scoffed "Then we'd better fill our ears with candle wax, mother"
Regina bowed her head.
"I mean it, Regina" Cora said with another cold smile "you're skating on thin ice. Archduke!" Cora called. He rushed to align the first of Regina's suitors for the evening.
Zelena frowned at Regina in question while their mother wasn't looking. Regina dropped her eyes to the floor. She could have sworn she saw Emma in the crowd, but didn't have the courage to look again. She felt Zelena's eyes on her still.
"Your Royal Highness, may I present to you Prince Dakkar of Bundelkhand" the Archduke announced. Regina curtseyed.
"Princess Regina, would you care to dance?" asked a tall man in a white doublet with gold inlay. He wore a navy blue turban with gold detailing. His nose was long and suited his serious face.
"It would be my pleasure" she lied. He took her hand and it felt wrong. She followed him to the dance floor. The Viennese Waltz was called. She knew exactly what to do, but standing there with him felt like blasphemy.
He bowed and she curtseyed and he put a hand on her waist. She wanted to slap it away. People fell in around them. The music began gently and they turned.
"Check your shoe for dirt" she heard Emma's voice in her head as they dipped and turned their heads at their pointed toes. He spun her around again. He didn't hold her hand as securely as Emma.
"And the other shoe" Emma said again. They dipped again and she felt like screaming. She wanted to dig her nails into his arms.
"1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3" Emma's voice filled her head and she couldn't see. She stared at the sigil on the prince's chest. It was a strange kind of sea creature that she had never seen. It was something between a shell and a squid. She felt sick.
The prince spun her around and around, she lost track of how many times but her muscle memory seemed to be spot on. It was strange to be led by someone else. His hand pressed too hard on her hip, gripped her too hard when he lifted her. Emma had been softer, more confident. The feel of Emma's touch on her skin sent a shock through her, but it was all imagined.
When the dance was over they turned and applauded for the musicians. The prince led her to the side of the dance floor. He was talking about something, she wasn't listening. She was concentrating on putting one foot in front of another.
"1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3…"
"Prince Dakkar, I believe The King wishes to speak with you" The Archduke interrupted, he introduced another Prince to Regina. She curtseyed and the he left them.
She lost count of how many princes she danced with. She forgot where they were from, she didn't listen to their lists of main exports, she stopped trying to remember their names after number eight.
"How are you getting on?" Zelena appeared at her side when another nameless suitor went to get her something to drink.
"When can I leave?" Regina asked quietly.
Zelena looked panicked. She laughed loudly gazing around her and snapped her fan open again.
"Probably in a couple of hours" she whispered behind the fan "you're doing wonderfully, Regina, your dancing really is splendid. You should have broken your leg years ago"
Regina almost smiled.
"Prince Hylas" Zelena said as he returned. Regina looked up and took the drink from him. She watched his face as he spoke to Zelena, too tired to do anything else. He was beautiful, but he looked sad.
"Perhaps you would enjoy a turn about the palace gardens?" Zelena suggested
"Absolutely. Would you lead me, Princess?" he asked Regina
"It would be my pleasure" she gave her stock reply of the evening and thanked Zelena with a look.
She breathed in the smell of pine that hung in the air on summer evenings. She chose the rose garden for a walk. It was not the closest, but it was pretty even in the dimly lit evening.
"Forgive me, Princess, I do not know your ways, but you seem…" Hylas spoke. Regina watched him struggle for a word that got his meaning across that he could also retract if it caused offence "…distant"
Regina felt refreshed by the air, but was still physically exhausted. Encouraged by her silence, Hylas continued.
"I am here at my father's insistence. You are very beautiful and most accomplished" he added quickly seeing her turn to him "impressive beyond imagining and an incredible dancer, Princess, please do not get me wrong. My heart belongs to another" he looked away
Regina watched the side of his face and how his curls tumbled past his cheeks.
"Will your father not allow you to marry them?" she asked, leaving a gender specific pronoun out to test the water. He turned back and looked at her knowingly.
He gave her a questioning smile. She was not about to confess her love for another woman to a complete stranger, but she nodded so slightly it was barely perceptible. He smiled sadly at her "if it wouldn't be horribly inappropriate I would hug you, Princess" he said with relief.
"You can call me Regina. Tell me about your love" she said quietly
"He is…worshipped in my land, and rightly so. He loves me too but is not bound by the shackles of royalty." He said, his eyes unfocussed on the stars, clear and bright above them.
Regina looped her arm though his. They turned at the end of the garden and started back.
"Tell me of yours?" He asked.
Regina felt her heart thump in her throat. She struggled for words. She thought about telling him who she was, how it felt when they were together, how beautiful she was, but none of it would form into sentences in her mind, just snatches of conversations, echoes of memories, fragments of passion.
She looked around them. There was no one to overhear them.
"She is dead" she said finally. Her throat was dry, her voice cracked as the words tumbled out her mouth. It didn't even sound like her voice.
She wanted to be back in the palace. She wanted to shut herself in her room, but she would take the bustling, colourful, rambunctious crowd over the quiet of the garden and her guilt and memories.
She felt Hylas' arm tighten against hers.
"I am sorry" he whispered "in another life perhaps we could wed and both be happy" he said playfully
"Until children were called for" Regina replied, with half a smile. An easy laugh tumbled from him.
When they reached the doors of the hall he turned to her and bowed low holding her hand. He kissed it and she felt the softness of his lips on her skin. It didn't feel half as horrible as the grasp of all the fine men she had danced with that evening.
When he stood straight again she smiled at him. It was the first time she had smiled since she could remember.
"Thank you" she said and he turned to leave. She watched him go feeling the only person in the world who would understand her had come and gone in an instant. She was alone again. The moment she turned back to the hall she heard the familiar voice of the archduke.
"Princess Regina, may I introduce Prince Tod"
Regina turned to the man with fiery red hair and a cheeky grin. This one was going to be hard work, she thought with relief and fought back the image of Emma's smile that was now clouding her mind.