November 9, Y2K:
Funny how life begins… you're born, you learn how to walk, you learn how to run, and talk. Oh, God, if you could have held me back from learning how to talk; I'd be just fine. My mouth runs quicker than my mind at times. I say things that I don't mean. Or things that I don't want to say at the time. I spit out the wrong questions and answers. Then I tried to figure out how stupidity had found me. Everyone said I was okay, everyone said I was smart, willing to learn, willing to help, willing to dream. I wonder if anybody else thinks the way I do? If they do, they better check in with their psychiatrist. 'Cause I must be off my rocker. Out of my mind. Crazy. Stupid. Or maybe… I'm just filled with wishes.
November 9, Y2K:
I've decided to rephrase what I said earlier. I'm not crazy or stupid or off my rocker. I'm just a dreamer. A simple dreamer with many things going through my mind. One of my friends once told me that I'm a wisher. I refused to be called that. A dreamer has things in mind and sets those things on their To Do list. A wisher just seems to bring depression into their soul, and they put things on the To Wish list. Wishing doesn't get anyone anywhere. That's what I think, anyway. So from today and on, I'll be a Dreamer. Keep dreaming, 'K. Keep dreaming.
November 23, Y2K:
Today is Thanksgiving. It snowed today, so I thought it'd be okay. The diner was great, too. Very filling, it was. But I didn't get to the good stuff. I felt sick from munching on the goodies all day. Chocolate chip cookies are my favorite. One of my girl friends (no, don't put those together) came by to drop some of the cookies off. I took them with a grin. She tried to talk to me more, but I had to leave to help my mom fix the dinner. I wonder if she was thinking about me in any other way other than friendship. Did that make sense? I read that over a little bit… Nah, she couldn't have thought about it. It's just cookies. Keep dreaming, 'K. Keep dreaming.
November 24, Y2K:
Ugh, my stomach still hurts from yesterday. I hope it goes away soon.
December 5th, Year two-thousand:
School was interesting today. We were snowed in for two hours, due to the heavy storm of which the weatherman said, and I quote, "All schools in the Odaiba area are still open. The snow will come later tonight, kids." Ha, funny-funny guy. We didn't get o do anything. We were all excited. The same girl who gave me the cookies kept trying to bring up a conversation. And every time she talked to me, I'd have to turn away because of my friends. I wonder why she's acting so funny?
December 15th, Y2K:
Man, am I bored! The school dance was today. It was also the last day before our Christmas vacation. I danced with the same girl for the four slow dances. By choice, too. She's, yes, you guessed it, the same girl who gave me those delicious cookies. She's really nice, too. And really pretty, too. And really smart, too. I can't wait 'til Christmas. I made her a card. I think it's too cheesy though, so I'm going to buy her something. I don't know what yet.
December 19th, 2000:
I visited my brother today. He remarked of how much taller I looked. We hadn't seen each other for a month because he went to visit our grandmother. I did too, but earlier. I'd shrug, but I'm writing, so this wouldn't work. Funny how life works. I had a dream last night. I can't really remember every detail. But I remember how it was so vivid. I dreamt that I was the star basketball player for the Olympics. Why I thought about this, I'll never know. It was great though, because my friends were all there. Keep dreaming, 'K. Keep dreaming.
December 23, Y2K:
Yeah! Christmas is almost here! I finally got her present. (You know who I'm talking about.) I got her a video camera. She seems to like taking things from the present to bring into the future. I like that… She who brings the present to the future. I know it's cheesy. Don't laugh. I'm going to give it to her on Christmas Eve. It'll be great.
December 24th, two K:
Ah! Nothing could make me happier! I gave that present to Her. She smiled brightly and invited me in. I titled the envelope for the card with my quote: "She who brings the present to the future." Her face turned a light pink. It was great. She gave me her famous chocolate chip cookies. When I was about to leave, I asked Her one last question. And guess what? She said yes! Wanna know the question now? I asked Her if she would like to be mine. For the second time that night, Her face lit up with a shade of red. I know I made a fool of myself. But I didn't care! She said yes! I never knew I was so crazy about her. And something else that gave me a surprise… Her brother videotaped my goodnight kiss to Her. Gah! It drove me to a furious blush. But She just laughed and told me it was okay. Nothing could go wrong now. Nothing.
December 26th, 2000:
Christmas was okay. I didn't get to see my girl. That feels so great. My girl. She is my girl. My angel. My… My love. It feels great to say that.
December 29, 2000:
I think I jinxed myself. I said nothing could go wrong. I swore to it in my own words. But something has gone wrong! I'm going to be parted from my dearly beloved. My angel! Why do such cruel things happen to people like her? You must know what I mean… It was the first time in a long time that I cried. My girl has fallen ill. She's really pale. She said that such a thing never happened to her since she was a young child. I remember when she was sick. I remember how she looked up at her brother with her hopeful eyes and her light smile. I remember how she hated getting all the attention when she was sick. And I remember how I always remained by her side. …I don't know what I'd do if she never got well. If you know what I mean. Keep dreaming, 'K. Keep dreaming.
January first, 2000
Oops, I messed up on the date. It's the True Millenium now, 2001. I guess I'm just used to writing that all the time. 2001,2001,2001. Got it. My girl is still ill. She looks paler. I'm beginning to worry. My visits with Her kept having to be postponed; the doctors wanted to keep Her well, and me being there wasn't helping.
January 5th, 2001
I remembered the date.
January 7th, 2001
My girl is still sick. I wish she'd get better. No… I can't wish. Wishing doesn't help anything.
January 13th, 2001
I remembered the date again.
January 18th, 2001
Please get well, my love.
January 22nd, 2001
She's well again!! I went to visit Her and we hugged for such a long time. I think I do love Her.
January 26th, 2001
No! God damn it all! She fell ill again! Damn the damn world, they don't know what they're doing to Her! She's sick, but she has such a bright future ahead of her. Why won't they leave her alone? (They being the cruel fates of death.) I -dream- for the day that she comes back into my arms. Keep dreaming, 'K. Keep dreaming.
January 30th, 2001
She's still in my dreams, not in my arms.
February 2nd, 2001
That's a hard month to spell. My love is still gone… they say that She will be out in five days.
Feb. 10th, 2001
Damn it all again! I guess She's going to be okay. She smiled at me. And only me.
Feb. 14, 2001
I went to go see Her again. I only got to talk for a brief minute, but I told Her how I loved Her so much. I saw the tears fill Her eyes when She finally said, "Takeru, I love you, too." Happy Valentines Day…
March 24th, 2001
Yeah, I haven't written for a while. Reasons, okay? Hikari (I feel comfortable with saying Her name now.) came out of the hospital, only to go back again. Why is this happening?
April 30th, 2001
Hey, look, She's out again. I wonder how long She'll stay? Please forever…
May 14th, 2001
My wishes seem to fade. I knew wishing wouldn't work. I promised myself to be a Dreamer, but no, I'm still one who wishes.
May 28th, 2001
Hikari… I'm sorry. I didn't mean to break up with you. I couldn't figure out why I said that. I saw you flirting, Kari! That hurts… My dreams have crashed.
June 4th, Y2K and… 1?
Damn, I like that word. I could be saying ass all the time. 'Cause I am an ass. But damn seems so much more… fulfilling. Hey, wait… since when do I cuss? Geez, Kari, see what you do to me?
June 26th, 2001:
I'm sorry, Hikari. I do still love you.
July 4th, 2001:
Another day spent with Her in the hospital. I apologized and asked for Her forgiveness. To be mine again. To allow me to hold Her in my arms. She said yes… again. I'm glad…
July 30th, 2001:
My book is starting to get less room.
August 2nd, 2001
Only three more pages, I'll start to cram stuff in, 'cause I really don't like keeping a journal. It's good to get things out, but it can bring bad memories into your mind again. So I doubt if I'll ever write in another one.
September 7th, 2001
School started again. Whoopie. A good thing though! Hikari is still my girl. ::scribbles down hearts and drools:: Hahaha. I'm now a love-starved twit. All for Her.
October 26th, 2001
I remembered the date. How many times have I said that? Maybe I should write this instead: I love Hikari with all my heart and soul. I love Hikari with all my heart and soul. I love Hikari with all my heart and soul. I love Hikari with all my heart and soul. I love Hikari with all my heart and soul. I love Hikari with all my heart and soul. Hikari with all my heart and soul. I love Hikari with all my heart and soul. I love Hikari with all my heart and soul. I love Hikari with all my heart and soul. I love Hikari with all my heart and soul. I love Hikari with all my heart and soul. I love Hikari with all my heart and soul. I love Hikari with all my heart and soul. I love Hikari with all my heart and soul. I love Hikari--Running out of room. Bye.
November 9th, 2001
Back to where I started. Nothing has changed really. Except I now love my life. Even though Hikari turned me into a love-starved twit. That's a funny saying. Love-starved twit. I guess… this is goodbye. It was nice keeping a journal. But, living my life now is better. I'd like to keep up with Hikari for the most part of it all. For Her… I'd do anything. Because I love her.
Takaishi Takeru