A/N: Addicted to "Drops of time". It's a master piece.
Let's go home, Natsu.
It was one of those particular winter. It was cold and everything is covered in white like a soft blanket. An almost translucent puff of smoke appears as I breathe.
"Hey, you're heavy."
". . ."
"Why can't you walk be yourself, Lucy?"
". . ."
"You ate too much fish and now you're fat."
She didn't answer me. She's such a weirdo—Oh, I get it! She's still mad at me. Crap. The silent treatment was so much though.
My feet is tired from walking and Lucy is not helping either, demanding me to carry her all the way back to the guild and stuff just because she's angry and tired. Now with the silence? Sheesh, give me a break.
She was breathing in my ear as we walk. Her long blonde hair brushing my cheeks every now and then. My mouth is dry.
A deep shuddering breath. "Natsu."
"Yes, Lucy?"
She rest her chin in my shoulder. "We will rebuild the guild again, won't we?"
"Hell yeah!" I remembered the toll the guild has taken and involuntarily winced, my shoulders slumping. "Erza will probably work us to death."
"How many floors do you want? I'm thinking three floors with an enormous lobby."
"I want a bigger pool." I said almost vehemently.
"I want to paint the walls reddish brown or something." Lucy mused and I grin despite myself.
"I want a larger mission board!"
"A vast kitchen. Totally."
I nodded in agreement. "Yeah! And a bigger cafeteria with lots of food in it."
"Of course you'd want that."
"Of course."
"Of course. . ."
A gap of silence followed. Her grip on my neck tighten. I took a deep breath. Please talk.
"Gajeel would love a big podium." I began trying to ignore this strangling invisible pressure. "Levy might have suggested a bigger storage for books too."
She sighed but didn't answer; though I waited for a long moment.
"You would too actually! You and Levy both likes books right?"
"I'm sorry. . ."
"And Happy might suggest a bigger balcony! That's pretty cool, isn't?" I added almost desperately.
"Natsu. . ." She began nuzzling my hair. A short kind of half sob half laughter escape my lips. She was distracting me.
"Lucy."
"Yeah?"
"What are you doing?" I tried to focus on the road ahead but with no avail.
She hummed with open mirth. "Sniffing you?"
"And you do that because?"
"You reek so badly!" She giggled but winced at the effort.
I snorted defensively. "Then don't smell me, geez! You're so weird."
"You actually kind of smell nice." She said and began nuzzling me again. "Actually, you smell familiar?"
"What do I smell like?"
"Like Gray."
"Hey! Don't even—never lump me in with that guy. . . He's a dumb ice stripper."
"How can you be so warm . . .?" She mumbled, a puff of hot breath near my neck and I stiffened and bit my lip. She's turning cold . . . so fucking cold. And now something cold is streaking from my cheeks. Damn it. Her hand lay lifelessly at either side of my shoulder, tired of holding on. I ignore it. She inhaled deeply. "Erza's birthday is coming up. . ."
"She'll like it if you make her a strawberry cake." I finished for her.
"Will she . . . ?"
"Of course she'll like it. . . Any type of cake will do." I cleared my throat. Crap. There's a strange lump forming in there. I'm starting to struggle with all this talking.
I heard her smile more than I see it. "I hope Erza will have a wonderful birthday."
"She would. I promise."
"It's fairytail after all."
"Yeah! We are going all out with this thing! Unless Laxus didn't allow it."
"The next master huh. . ."
"He'd be the greatest master of all times."
"Of course."
"Of course." Her voice is a whisper. Too tired to speak anymore.
I concentrated on walking since every step feel heavier than it really is. I wonder if Lucy feels the same way. I wonder if she was scared, hopeful, tired, happy or sad. I wonder . . . if she was wondering if I'm wondering about her feelings.
"I know you won't . . . hate Wendy." It was a mere murmur almost incoherent.
I growled at her. "Damn right, I won't. It's not her fault."
"Yes. . ."
"And she'll help you bake a cake for Erza's birthday."
"That will be . . . nice." Speaking is agonizing for her. She was rasping. It made me hate myself for being too selfish. I needed to hear her voice. She also knew it and I appreciate it so much. The blood felt sticky and annoying. I smell a new batch of blood and still I ignore it. Her wounded hands keep distracting me. I saw that one of her nails broke in two and I wanted to cry.
"Hey, Lucy."
A nod as an indication that she's listening.
"Please breathe for me."
It was sudden and gentle when she slowly touch my face and kissed my cheek softly; just a few strands away from my lips. It was soft and warm and comforting and my memories with her seems to flash by. Her apartment, her bed, her books, her clothes, her never-ending babbles, her smiles, her laughter, her tears, her words, her loyalty, her guild sign. My mind is reeling. I can smell her hair, her blood, but I can also smell her, a distinct kind of smell that I always been enveloped in whenever I loose strength. I close my eyes so I could sense only her, the way she smelled and tasted and felt. Her hair blew against my cheek and the air didn't feel that cold anymore. She pulled me closer, tightening her arms around me, burying her face to my neck. I open my mouth to say something but nothing came out.
I heard her smile.
"Let's go home, Natsu." Her voice didn't quiver nor did it falter. It was strong and firm and sure.
And content.
"Okay."
The walk home is silent and hazy. I remember focusing on her heartbeat until it fade . . . until it was quiet . . .
Until it stopped beating.