Day One

Usually Elsa would skip past the abundance of news channels on TV, settling instead for more intellectual, thought-provoking content like cartoons and professional wrestling. But on this fateful Saturday morning, something drew her to the tacky purple ticker tape and overly cheerful news anchor that kept her from changing the channel this time around. Maybe it was because the last good cartoon stopped airing in 2006, maybe it was divine intervention, or maybe it was the fact that the headline today had read "BREAKING NEWS: WORLD ENDING IN TWO WEEKS."

So Elsa stayed on channel…whatever the number was, and watched on her lumpy couch with half lidded eyes as the sickeningly energetic yet attractive news anchor said, "We go live to the Arendelle Observatory as a Dr. Weselton seems to have made a terrifying discovery."

She sat up, kicking the blanket bundled by her feet, and tried to wake herself up just a little bit more to remind herself of whether today was April 1st or not. Because if it was, she could finally change the channel and go back to sleep to the sounds of canned laughter and situational comedy. An impossibly short man with thinning, gray hair and a complementary thick handlebar moustache appeared on the television screen. His nervousness became heavily visible as he shakily placed his round-framed glasses on his face.

"A-a-at 4:33 this morning…w-we discovered a b-black hole that has appeared close to our solar system. And we believe th-that in the coming days it will get closer and closer until it swallows our entire system. We…we have nothing to deter its course...and by our calculations it will reach us in roughly two weeks."

Elsa waited and waited until the hammer dropped, until the scientist burst into laughter and said he was kidding (and losing all of his credibility in one fell swoop). But the more she waited, the less likely that seemed. And it was then that it finally hit her that in just a few days…the world would be over.

She felt the color drain from her already pale face and a frigid chill rattled up and down her spine, it was as if the ground had been pulled out from underneath her. And in the groggy hours of this now terrible Saturday morning, Elsa said her first words since yesterday.

And they weren't a gasp and an exclamation over this tragic turn of events, neither were they a rundown of her limited amount of loved ones that she needed to now call and say that, well, she loved them. No, those were normal responses to just being told the world was going to end.

Instead, Elsa dejectedly crumpled onto the couch and muttered out, "Well crap, I'm gonna die a virgin."

A/N: Read Part Two, this'll all be explained if you read Part Two.