This is likely AU and/or OOC and/or in violation of game mechanics because I have not played ToD2 (yet). I brought up this amusing idea in conversation, and my friends encouraged me to write a fic about it…
Judas followed with the group as they walked the streets, heading out yet again to kill seemingly infinite numbers of pathetic enemies to "farm" this invisible essence called "grade." Kyle assured him would it bring great benefits in "the next playthrough."
Judas did not believe a word of it (after all, he knew all of those techniques from the very beginning, right?), but the rest of the group seemed enthused by the idea, so he had no choice but to follow along. However, as the group passed by a line of stores and restaurants, a sign caught Judas's eye.
"FREE ICE CREAM! TODAY ONLY!"
Judas briefly considered whether to go. In the end, the choice was obvious. Judas cleared his throat.
"I have some…business I need take care of here," he said coolly, managing to sound like he actually did have something he had to do. "I will meet you at the gates when you return." With that, Judas was off, pretending to round the corner in the other direction before flattening himself against the wall, waiting for his allies to leave.
He heard the group of footsteps fade, and he peeked slowly around the wall. He glanced around and came back around the corner, shrugging off the weird looks he was getting from passerby.
"I understand you are offering free ice cream," Judas said, scanning the inside of the parlor. It was nearly full, except for a shady table back in the corner.
"Um, well, yes," said the clerk, probably uneasy about a man wearing a dragon skull helmet, a black outfit, and a purple cape coming in and asking about ice cream. "Here you are, sir."
"Thank you," said Judas. He walked into the shady corner, sat down at the table. Glancing around to make sure no one was looking in his direction, he slowly removed his dragon skull mask and set in on the table. Before he was able to sample his ice cream, however, he was interrupted by a voice he recognized.
"This looks great!" Judas looked up in surprise to see a man with long blonde hair getting some ice cream at the counter. Judas swore to himself, thinking this must be some kind of joke. Unfortunately, it was not and Judas was now left with figuring out how to handle Stahn instead of enjoying his ice cream. Judas hurriedly grabbed his dragon helmet and placed it on his head.
Stahn sat down with his ice cream, and looked up at Judas with that annoying smile on his face.
"It's a nice day, isn't it?" Stahn asked cheerfully, apparently not at all put off by the mask or the outfit. This was one of the things he could not like about Stahn. Judas did not 'like' social interaction, and Stahn was just the type of person to force it on him in such a way that he had no choice but to have a semblance of a conversation.
Fearing that Stahn, despite his not-so-sharp wit, might actually recognize his voice, Judas remained silent. Unfortunately for Judas, however, Stahn was too nice to be offended.
"I'm Stahn," Stahn introduced himself, still smiling. "What's your name?" Judas hesitated, and then decided he had no choice.
"Judas…" he mumbled quietly, trying to avoid sounding like anyone in particular.
"Nice to meet you, Judas!" Stahn glanced down at Judas's side of the table. "Your ice cream is melting," he observed. "You should hurry up and eat it."
Judas's eyes snapped open as he looked to the table and saw that Stahn was right. He glanced up at Stahn, who was busy eating his own ice cream, and then back to his own bowl.
Judas began to sweat, his heart beating faster as he agonizingly watched the ice cream in his bowl slowly melt. Finally, he swore to himself and removed his mask, grabbing the ice cream bowl. He held it up somewhat close to his face with the improbable hope that it might help hide his identity.
Using the spoon he brandished in his other hand, Judas quickly began to eat the ice cream. After about a minute of being lost in the wonderful taste of ice cream, he had finished it and placed the bowl back onto the table, only to see Stahn staring at him with a look of surprise.
Judas froze, and for a moment they just stared at each other, fear building in Judas as each moment passed.
"Wow, you must really like ice cream!" Stahn declared, his voice full of wonder.
Judas was silent for a moment as his brain took a moment to process what had been said, and even then, he was speechless. Managing to collect his thoughts, Judas decided he had better just get out; he was not sure if he could handle anymore of this anxiety that was building to nothing.
So Judas settled for a "Hmph," as he replaced his mask and strode out the door of the shop. As soon as he was out the door, he hurried directly towards the gate, hoping to meet with Kyle's group. As what was probably Judas's first stroke of luck today, they were walking out the gate as he arrived.
Kyle noticed him, and said, "Hey Judas, we came back early and we didn't see you. We were going to go out again-"
"Let's go," Judas said, all but pushing the group out of the town.
"Huh? Judas, did something-?" Kyle asked, wondering why Judas was suddenly in such a hurry.
"It's nothing," Judas insisted more calmly, now that they were safely out of the town. "Let's go."
However, there was some whispering among some of the others in group, including something involving a theory about why Judas had left and an ice cream store…
Hmm, the second half did not come out as smoothly nor was it as funny as I had hoped, but I felt like I should post it anyway, so that somebody might find it at least mildly amusing.