Normal people just talk when messaging their friends. We took it in turns to write parts of a PWP-ish, smut, crack fic. Blame the sex on OD, the Dan and Phil pairing on AS, the inclusion of Jeff the Killer on KK and the weird phrases such as, my personal favourite, 'genitalia flapping in the breeze', on me.
It was a cold Christmas eve, Dan and Phil were snuggled up listening to Christmas songs and drinking hot chocolate. They were staring deeply into each others eyes whilst Phil was singing merrily to the songs.
A key turned in the lock, as John and Sherlock, of all people walked through the door. Each one's face plastered with the same weary look.
Sherlock and John enter Dan and Phil's flat, Dan and Phil looked astonished, sherlock and John were actually in their flat?!
"We are here to investigate a crime" Watson starts. At this point in time Phil was panicking,"WHAT? WE DID NOTHING?!" Sherlock comes closer to the pair and looks them up and down, biting his bottom lip. "I'm afraid we will have to check the both of you out..." He says in a raspy voice.
Jeff cackled from down the street. Framing two famous celebrities for a murder he had committed, what a great idea! Nobody knew he existed after all. He's just a fictional character, right?
Since everyone thinks Jeff is fictional, the idea of murdering the famous sherlock and John was exciting to him. He had been stalking them for the day and was lead to Dan and Phil's apartment. His pale hand slowly opened the golden door handle and he hid in the bathroom waiting for his prey.
Sherlock spoke in quick, quiet tones. "Any second now Jeff the killer will walk through that door..." "But, he's fictional!" Interrupted Dan. "Just shut up and listen." Interjected John. "We need to distract him when he comes in, so that I can shoot him." "What? How?" Asked Phil.
"Dan, Phil we need a distraction." Sherlock spoke. Dan and Phil looked at eachother, still cuddled next to eachother. "How?" Dan asked. Watson was setting up his gun and some shit like that, "We need you to do something that he is bound to notice, we need you to fuck." Sherlock explained. Phil looked at Dan hesitantly, Dan knew Phil was still a virgin but he didn't know what to do.
Jeff paused. "They're underestimating me" he muttered under his breath. He backed away from the door and listened. "That's my distraction? They do realise I can hear everything they've said, right?" he thought Sherlock was better than this. "The infamous Sherlock Holmes my ass!"
Sherlock brought his tone even lower. "He's waiting outside the door, when I say you need to fuck, I mean you need to fuck us. That's the only way in hell we're going to manage to shock him." Dan and Phil shared a look of disbelief. Phil was still a Virgin, and not sure he was about to lose that in an orgy, even if it was with the two incredibly breathtaking men in front of them.
Dan agreed, Phil was still unsure but trusted Dan to take care of him. They stood up and got undressed, Phil was shocked by Dans huge dick. Sherlock was also standing there now naked and ready. Watson waiting for Jeff near the door.
Jeff stared through the crack of the door, a look of disbelief on his features. For years now, everyone had thought that the infamous Sherlock Holmes was celibate, with few theories that he had his little sidekick buggering for him. What the fuck was going on?
Jeff stood there in astonishment, he'd never expected this and he stood in silence looked at the four. They didn't notice the pale figure standing in the middle of the living room until sherlock turned to throw his clothes. He froze. A half naked sherlock came dashing towards Jeff with a chair from the dining table and threw it at Jeff but of course, Jeffs slim body was able to quickly dodge the chair.
Sherlock and Watson were naked running after the slim, pale figure. Meanwhile Dan and Phil continued. Dan was already inside Phil, 'it's too late to pull out now right?' He thought to himself. Dan started thrusting harder and faster, Phils moaned repeatedly as he was being pleasured. "Dan... I'm close." He said in between moans. "Me too." Dan replied. They were both moaning loudly when Dan reached climax, leaving warm liquid inside Phil.
Jeff runs up the stairs almost slipping on the wooden polished floor. He ran as fast as he could, cringing by the sounds of what was going on in the living room. This was the weirdest situation he'd ever been in, despite he was insane, he ran into Phil's bright room and hid in a large crate he had in his room.
Phil looked at Dan with a look of adoration, before they remembered what the purpose of their fucking had been. "Shit!" They both said simultaneously, before jumping up and racing up the stairs, following the paths of John and Sherlock, genitalia flapping in the breeze.
Dan and Phil rushed upstairs and saw sherlock and John stood quietly behind phils bedroom. The pair of detectives signalled Dan and Phil to be quiet and to stand behind phil's bedroom door. They waited patiently behind sherlock and john.
Sherlock, John, Dan and Phil stood behind the door quietly. "We need a way to get him out, Dan, Phil," John started looking both of them in the eyes. He paused then continued. "Do you think you could go for round two in there to lead him out?" Dan and Phil looked at him as if he was crazy but Sherlock and John looked desperate.
"Screw it!" Exclaimed Sherlock, as he threw his arms around Phil's neck and dragged him into a stomach churning kiss. Dan and John looked at each other with a look of disbelief, before following suit.
Phil was shocked, "what are you doing?!" He half shouted, "just shut up and fuck me." Sherlock replied bluntly. "But..-" he was cut off when Sherlock dragged him into his own room. Sherlock kissed roughly and his kissed traveled down his body, soon they got to his dick and he started to suck the tip, earning moans from Phil. Jeff peeked out and saw this, "WELL THEN, I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T FUCK BUT APPARENTLY YOURE A SLUT."
Sherlock signalled to John to chase after Jeff, too enamoured by the tip of Phil's cock to move. Jeff sprang from the crate in Phil's room and ran for the window, knocking over the naked men standing before him. He leaped out and began climbing down at a shocking speed. Sherlock, John, Phil and Dan's feet pounded the ground as they ran down the stairs to leave the house after him. "Fuck this shit" Jeff said as he sprinted away. Too traumatised by what he had seen to continue in his murderous attempt, his corneas burning with the images he had seen.
Sherlock, John, Dan and Phil raced after him, making it as far as the front door before noticing their various states of undress (John being the only one with any clothes on). "Give me a moment." Rumbled Sherlock in his thrilling baritone. Leaving John, Phil and Dan all swooning a little. He ran out the door, fully naked. His penis flapping with each step, reaching behind him. The next moment read very much like a certain episode of Dr Who, as he whipped a pistol out from God can only imagine where, and fired with a precise accuracy at the figure in front of him. The bullet went right through Jeff's skull, as he slumped to the floor. Sherlock then returned his gun to his hiding place, and darted back to the front door of Dan and Phil's house, still utterly naked. John stared at his lover, now finally realising why he had never agreed to bottom for him all these years.
The four men stood naked, still hard. They started to celebrate (they went back to the house cause it would be awkward in the street) "So, should we finish what we started?" Sherlock suggested. The three other men nodded in agreement and started to fuck one another until morning.
Sorry about my lack of activity in a way, some really shitty stuff happened. Not going to go into detail, but I'm dealing with it. I'm going to work on posting more again from now on.