"It just isn't fair." A voice comes floating into my office from the dark corridor to my left.
"I mean, did we have to die?" The tall red head asks, apparently the talker of the pair, the short blonde standing beside him.
The red-head takes in my office before zeroing in on me. "Where the hell are we?"
I sigh. That question is asked EVERY time and it always annoys me. "The Afterlife." I reply succinctly.
"But we're Nobodies." He states suspiciously.
I growl. I'm already having a bad day, and this little fucker annoys me in two seconds. "No fucking shit. And if you would just shut up, it will go all the fucking faster."
His response is to stare at me silently.
Thanking God for the small mercy, I begin again. "So, everyone, INCLUDING Nobodies, is allowed a 'second chance' at 'happiness' or whatever, and you can either choose that or do the 'fade into darkness' shit. So what'd'ya think?"
"Well …. What about the rest of the organization?" the red-head asked cautiously, suitably cowed.
"What about Xion?" the blonde asks so quietly I barely hear it.
"They both chose Option #1. But they are currently in Limbo waiting for their world to be prepared and for me to take care of the logistics…" I pause thoughtfully, before I realize how much time has passed and I get angry again, "but first I have to finish taking care of you idiots!"
The red-head glared at me affrontedly before nodding, while the blonde asked hopefully "Are you a Spirit Guide?"
I close my eyes and count to ten, resisting the urge to grind my teeth. I breathe out slowly and grit out "I. Am. Not. A. Fucking. Spirit. Guide. I sit here. I push papers. I deal with idiots like you. I put people were they need be. But I am not, nor will I ever be, a fucking Spirit Guide. I will the THAT to the people that give a good God damn!"
"Who are you again?" the red-head asked, re-cowed.
"A Shinigami. A Death God. A mover and shaker. But all I need from you, now, is your God damn answer so I can get you out of my damn office before my next appointment gets here and my schedule is completely thrown out of whack. So we'll start with you, talker boy." I finish, pointing at the red-head.
"Option 1, please."
"And you, spirit boy?" I spit out venomously.
"I'll go with him." He replied timidly.
"Fine." I point to my other door before continuing. "Go through that and my friend Noriko has some papers for you to fill out.
They leave quickly (not fast enough), although the blonde does stick his head back in to thank me – for what I have no idea – just before the next person comes in.
"So, Orochimaru, you finally died…"
A/N: This is a total crackfic, I know. But the bunny spawned, and I had to write it! I swear!
This is Axel X Roxas, and if you read any of my other fics you'll know that I'm NEVER this vulgar, but for some odd reason this felt right…. Anyhow! No flames please, just constructive critisim, and REVIEW people! They are LOVE, damnit!