Man-Up Gary
AT THE RESTAURANT
Gary and Michael were both on their knees, Penny was on the verge of hysteria, and Miranda had a big decision to make…
Gary – "Marry me Miranda?"
Michael – "I think I asked first!"
Miranda screams.
Miranda – "Arrrhhhhggggg! You're not asking me to dance at the school disco! Please can you both get up! Now!"
Gary and Michael both got up, but immediately started fighting like over emotional toddlers; chairs and tables were flying everywhere. Miranda quietly walked away.
AT THE FLAT
"Hello, do join, make yourself comfortable, I've got rather a lot of news to impart…you might want to grab a packet of biscuits or, better still, a box of Dairy Milk Tray…it's been one of those days I'm afraid. So, firstly, I completely failed to leave Surrey, I tried, I really did, but even when I'd reconciled myself to the truth that Gary and me are just never going to happen, I still couldn't leave. My last attempt was by train to Wick, I know, it's sounds lovely doesn't it? But I managed to get on the wrong train, and then I annoyed a posse of youths, and immediately bumped into Gary as I fled the carriage. He was very sweet and said lots of nice things and, yes, there was kissing, stop it! But I just couldn't believe he was sincere. Yes, I was a little overcome for about 10 minutes, but then his true colours came bursting through at the restaurant and he couldn't even face telling people that we were together – until Michael arrived that is, and proposed! Then Gary couldn't bear to be outdone and it turned into a competition…I know! You wait years and years for a marriage proposal – centuries it feels like – and then you get two in the space of a minute! I couldn't possibly take either of them seriously after that, especially when they then proceeded to get into a skirmish, good word 'skirmish'. Skirmish. They might still be at it…oh dear, where was I? Oh yes, well I'm afraid it's definitely a 'No' for Michael; I will drop him an email and explain. It was a very nice ring and I'm sure he'll be able to return it to Argos, but honestly, I think I'd rather marry Benjy. But then there's Gary…for so long it's been all I've ever wanted…but after hoping and dreaming and wondering for so long, it was, quite frankly, a huge disappointment! The kissing was nice, but could definitely have been more – you know – hot blooded, really. You see, I just don't think his heart is in it. And let's be fair, we've had several near misses that have had considerably more passion!"
Loud hammering at the door.
Miranda – "What now?"
Miranda opens the door. Gary is standing there; he is more than a little worked up.
Miranda – "Gary!"
Gary – "Why did you leave?"
Miranda – "Oh why do you think Gary?"
Gary – "Right – we need to talk!"
Miranda – "Do we really? I'm not sure there's any more to say! You clearly don't feel the same way and I really can't bear to look at you right now!"
Gary – "Fine – close your eyes then!"
Gary finally lets go of his inhibitions and kisses Miranda properly and with such passion that she is left speechless.
Gary – "Now, I'm not messing about…get your bags, we're going away for a romantic holiday."
Miranda can't help smiling; Gary has finally given her what she wanted.
They kiss again….