The Selfish Prince
"For the first time, the selfish prince felt relief. It was finally his turn. There was something he could do, people he could save."
Noctis-centric, mild Noctis/Luna. Oneshot. Heavy spoilers for Chapter 9 and 10.
Exploring themes of anger, pain and guilt.
Final Fantasy XV © Square Enix.
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He was a selfish prince.
He never wanted to be royalty; never wanted this life. Being a prince was just a hassle. People treated him differently because of his status ever since he was young, and he felt ostracized. His mother was taken from him as a young child; He barely remembered her. All he knew were maids and servants, a distant father, a cold citadel. Were he a normal child, with a normal life, perhaps he would have felt much happier. He had never wanted to be king; to be the chosen one; to be who he was - the crown prince of the kingdom of Lucis, Noctis Lucis Caelum.
The prince roused from sleep, slowly taking in his surroundings: the sound of chirping birds; the softness of the sheets; the gentleness of the light. A soft bed with a blue damask covered blanket. A quilted headboard, caramel in colour mounted on an elaborate wooden backing, surrounded by an olive bed curtain. This isn't the room everyone was staying in at the Leville. Where was he? What had happened?
The lingering taste of salt in the air brought back a wave of recollection. His beloved Lunafreya Nox Fleuret had come seeking not only asylum, but to request the aid of the Astral Leviathan. But what had happened during the Ritual? Noctis couldn't remember - only feelings remained: anger, pain, and water...
As Noctis slowly sat up, he realised he wasn't alone. A figure in the red chair turned his head to speak. "Back with us?" he asked.
Ignis Stupeo Scientia; his right hand man.
The prince watched as his vassal patted the arm of the chair, as if to confirm its location, before using it to stand. He stood up straight - confidently, has he'd always done, but something about him seemed different; seemed cautious and unsure.
"I'll tell the others... Though it may take a bit."
Noctis looked up at the voice, confused at the uncertainty in his words. Something had changed, and not for the better. Ignis's sharp green eyes, usually heightened by his crystal clear glasses, were no longer visible; hidden behind long lashes and obscured by a pair of dark lenses. He could see that the other was facing his direction, but what was he really looking at?
That's when he noticed the scars by the eyewear.
"You're hurt..." was all Noctis could muster.
Ignis teetered, shifting his weight from his right leg to left. "Ah, a small sacrifice, in the greater battle," he replied. Had the Ritual gone wrong? The aftermath had resulted in critical injury on Ignis's part. But what about... Noctis swallowed, bracing himself for the answer of what he was to ask next. "And Luna?"
The brunette turned to leave, but stopped before the door. "She has passed," was the curt reply.
It was then Noctis realised his clenched hand. He opened it slowly, holding back tears as his fingers revealed the sparkle of the Ring of the Lucii in his hand.
Ignis turned back; outstretching his arm to point. "Umbra left that for you," he added, before finally stepping out.
Noctis frantically opened the journal, flipping through to the last filled entry. A singular blue pressed flower - the one they had loved so much in Tenebrae- lay on the creamy page. He choked back a sob as he wrapped his hands once again around the ring. He curled up into a fetal ball on the bed.
A whirlwind of unfeeling memories later, Noctis leaned against the wooden railing of the fence; his eyes downcast to gaze at the lapping water along the side of the pier. Its mesmerizing ripples brought back memories, ones he wondered if they were just a dream - A dream world of water, and of flowers. A dream world with Luna. She smiled sadly as she spoke; as she disappeared into the darkness of the deep.
"All I... All I wanted to do was to save you."
The sound of dress shoes clicking along the plank brought him back to the present. Ignis walked stiffly; his companions Prompto and Gladiolus by his side, guiding him towards the boat. With the events of the Ritual over, they were no longer welcome in Altissia.
"A chance to see you once more," rang Luna's gentle voice in his memory. "Hm, who would've thought?"
Noctis stared into his hands. The passing scenery of wilderness flew by the window, but he didn't pay it any notice. He sat alone, away from his companions.
Pain. Anger. Guilt. These feelings during past few weeks after leaving Altissia boiled within him as the journey trudged on. Would it even ever end? How many more people would he have to lose before it was all over?
From the distance, he could hear the quiet voices of Prompto and Ignis conversing.
"The wounds have mended. Eyesight's a matter of time."
It'll never return, Noctis thought to himself bitterly. Not with an injury like that. And not after so long. He must know this himself too.
A tall, muscular figure approached his seat. "The hell is wrong with you?" demanded the man.
Noctis's vision flickered towards him. "What?"
Gladio squared his feet and gazed sharply at his liege. "We're not stopping in Tenebrae. You need to grow up and get over it."
The prince stood up. "I am over it," he lied. "I'm here, aren't I?"
Gladio grabbed Noctis by the collar, yanking the prince towards him. "Maybe when you're not too busy moping, you can look around and give a shit about someone worse off than you."
Moping? Are you shitting me right now?
Blue eyes glared up at the bearded one. "Let go of me," Noctis retorted coldly. How could he tell them that he was sorry, after all this? How could he make things better? What could he do?
"How's that ring fit you?" Gladio continued, "You'd rather carry it around than wear it? She gave her life so you could do your duty, not so you could sit around feeling sorry for yourself."
For myself? Noctis seethed inwardly with rage. This is not just for myself. "You don't think I know that?"
"You don't!" Gladio motioned towards the man by the window. "Ignis took one for you too, and for what?"
Ignis's steely tone cut through the air. "Enough, Gladio!" But the calling was ignored by the greatsword user. "You think you're a king, but you're a coward."
"Shut up!" Roared Noctis, pushing back at Gladio. How dare he, how dare he? I may be no king, but I'm not a coward either. I just need time, more time!
Prompto's pleading voice stopped Noctis from continuing. "Don't do this!" A tattooed arm shot out from infront of him, grabbing onto the blond, pushing him away. How do I make this all end?
"I get it, alright? I get it!" The prince pushed once more, this time hard enough to make the other let go and take a step back.
"Then get a grip! Pull your head out of your ass already!"
Noctis shot Gladiolus one last glare before storming off, ignoring the voices behind him. He came to a stop at empty seats in another car. Taking a seat, pulled out the ring again and gazed wistfully at it.
The power of the kings, and at what cost?
He remained in his seat in silence.
"The train is now arriving at Cartanica Station", announced the system, as the train began its deceleration into the stop. The prince was the first to disembark; hit instantly by the dry heat of the barren desert-like land, despite the sun already beginning to set.
With no Chocobo rental services in sight, the Regalia still parked in the boat, and Cid long gone, there seemed like their traveling would come to a temporary halt.
Noctis pulled out the train ticket from his pocket and gave it a long read before returning onto the train. Their ticket provided cabin for one more night. He grasped the handle firmly with one hand.
Something…. There has to be something…
The door slid open without much effort, revealing a small room with just enough space for two bunks. But there was something else. A pair of crimson eyes gazed up towards him.
Umbra…?
He knelt down and stretched out his hand, allowing for the dog to place a paw.
Umbra has always been able to find me, no matter how far apart we had been. If only…
The prince flopped onto a lower bunk and closed his eyes, ignoring the eventual shuffling, soft whispers and quiet rattle of the door closing as his companions returned to retire as well for the night. Within time, his consciousness faded to black.
"-ey… Noct, Noct!"
Blue eyes fluttered open. Noctis slowly lifted his head, which had been resting on his hand. The wind ran through his hair, and he was suddenly aware of the open air around him. Gladio sat on his right, book open.
"We're almost at Cape Caem," Ignis informed the prince, never once taking his eyes off the road infront of him.
How….
Noctis turned his head to the side, watching in amazement as familiar scenery whizzed by; as they drove down the familiar road which had taken them to the lighthouse; eventually to Altissia.
"Why…" he couldn't continue.
"You said something about getting more cup noodles before we go, Noct, don't you remember?" Prompto replied absentmindedly between snapshots.
"He's sleeping so much that he's starting to forget," teased Gladio. "Soon you'll have to write down everything you're doing so Lady Lunafreya doesn't ask you why you're taking so long to get to her!"
Luna?
The prince quickly shoved a hand into his pants pocket, and froze as it made contact with an object inside. He twirled it between his fingers, running his fingertips over to confirm what it was, but careful to not let Gladio notice.
He still had the Ring of the Lucii. But how? Was this a dream?
Or was it Umbra?
The Regalia pulled to a stop, and the click of the door mechanism allowed for the doors to be unlocked. Prompto hopped out quickly, sighing with relief as he stretched. "What a long ride from Lestallum!" he commented "I was getting stiff!"
Noctis stepped out uneasily, trying to buy time for everything to sink in. His doubts of a dream were cut short as a hand pat him gently on the back.
"Let's go, Noct. Mustn't let Lady Lunafreya wait much longer." The hand released, and Ignis stepped before him, leading the trek to the lighthouse.
Luna was alive.
Ignis was safe.
For the first time, the selfish prince felt relief. It was finally his turn. There was something he could do, people he could save.
With the others far ahead of him, Noctis pulled the ring out of his pocket. It sparkled in the morning light as it did that day he awoke in Altissia.
"Would that I could join you... but this moment will have to be enough." she had said. But there was no other way. This he now knew.
He'd never see Luna again. But as long as she is in Altissia, she would be safe.
She would stay alive.
Ignis would never be critically injured the way he was.
The prince quickly stuffed his hands into his pocket before following the others up the path. This would forever be his secret.
He was a selfish prince.
He didn't want to be royalty, never wanted this life. He didn't want to need to fear losing anyone because of his fate. He didn't want to gain back his country if it meant so much pain and suffering for those around him.
He had never wanted to be king; to be the chosen one; to be who he was - the crown prince of the kingdom of Lucis, Noctis Lucis Caelum.
Until now.