Rating: PG-13 (for language and bodily injury)

Disclaimer: The characters are not mine, except when they are. The settings and locations are not mine, except when they are. The plots, conflicts, and resolutions ARE mine, except when they're not.

Reviews/Feedback: CONSTRUCTIVE criticism is always welcome. Any suggestions you may have on how to make my story better will be greatly appreciated.

Chapter 1:

Logan sometimes wondered if the others knew that Ororo had died. Oh, she went through the motions of living. She ate. She slept, or at least she tried to. She worked, and worked hard, working herself to death some might say. But the truth was, she was already dead.

The fact that it had taken him so long to notice bothered Logan. But then, given the circumstances, it was to be expected. At first, Logan had been too consumed by his own feelings of guilt and regret to notice much of anything. He hadn't wanted to stay, not after everything that had happened. So he'd packed his bag, had waited for everyone else to turn in for the night, and had then headed for the garage. His plan had been to take Scott's motorcycle and hit the open road, moving from place to place without roots or responsibilities or friends. It was a hard life, but it was what he knew.

Logan had been just about to take off when he'd heard Ororo's voice coming from the doorway. "You're leaving us," she'd said. It'd been a simple statement of fact. There'd been no reproach or anger in her tone. In fact there'd been no emotion at all. Logan hadn't noticed the lack of feeling in Ororo's voice, or if he had he'd just assumed that Ororo was being Ororo.

When they first met, Logan had gotten the impression that Ororo was a bit of an ice queen – untouchable and unfazed, no matter what the world threw at her. It was only later when Logan had gotten to know Ororo a little better that he'd realized that she wasn't as cold as she seemed, not really. Ororo had the same feelings as everybody else; she just chose to suppress them, allegedly for the safety of those around her. There WAS a strong connection between mutant abilities and the emotions of said mutants. In fact the thing that most often caused mutant powers to manifest in the first place was stress. However Logan for one thought that Ororo's methods were a little too extreme. Logan supposed he could see her trying to block negative emotions like anger and sorrow, but trying to block everything meant keeping out the joy as well. An old adage about throwing out the baby with the bath water came to mind. Logan had never pushed the issue though. It really wasn't any of his business.

Logan had made some smart-ass comment; the gist of which had been that yeah leaving was the general idea. Ororo hadn't tried to convince Logan to stay. She had said that he would be missed, although she hadn't said by whom. Ororo had then wished Logan luck, and said goodbye. Logan had turned to her, another smart-ass remark on his tongue, but the words had died unspoken when he'd looked at her and had seen the truth. What he'd seen was that there was no life in Ororo's eyes.

On previous occasions, Logan had observed that no matter how calm and aloof Ororo appeared to be on the outside, there was always a spark in her. It was a glimpse of her spirit, the very spirit that drove her. She kept a tight rein on it, yes, but it was always there nonetheless.

However that night when their gazes had met Ororo's eyes had been empty and lifeless - the eyes of a sleepwalker, or a walking corpse. It was as if the spirit had completely gone out of her. This had snapped Logan out of his brooding. Although he and Ororo weren't exactly the closest of friends, it had still concerned Logan to see Ororo that way. It had also made Logan think. He'd been so wrapped up in what he was going through that he'd totally bypassed the fact that others had been hit hard by recent events. Ororo in particular now carried a heavy burden. With Scott, Jean and the Professor gone Ororo had shouldered the responsibility for the school and its students. Going from teaching history to running everything was overwhelming enough. Combine that with the grief that was no doubt buried somewhere inside her and it was little wonder that the spark in Ororo's eyes had been snuffed out.

Logan had decided then and there that he couldn't leave Ororo the way she was. She needed help, whether she would admit it or not. There had to be a way to put some life back into her, and Logan was determined to find it. Maybe he could start by taking some of the load off her shoulders. Latching on to one of Ororo's previous comments, Logan had said that maybe he'd stick around, since they'd all miss him so much. Logan had then grabbed his bag and had headed back to his room, not giving Ororo the chance to think too carefully about what he'd said, knowing that it wouldn't hold up under scrutiny.

In the days that followed, Logan had done his best to make himself useful. He'd found out from Ororo what needed to get done and then he'd done it. However when it came to finding Ororo's lost spirit, Logan felt like he was getting nowhere. If he could just get Ororo to open up, to talk to him about what had happened. Logan had tried. He remembered that morning in Ororo's office quite vividly. She'd been sitting at her desk going over some paperwork when Logan had come in to get his to do list from her. Before he'd left the office Logan had paused, and then he'd said to Ororo, "If you ever need somebody to talk to…"

There'd been dead silence for several moments while Logan waited for a response. Ororo had then thanked Logan civilly before going back to her paperwork. Logan hadn't forced the issue. He'd hoped that if he gave Ororo some time to think about his offer that she'd come around on her own. That hadn't happened. Logan was beginning to seriously consider confronting Ororo, bringing the issue front and center in the hopes that if he got in her face it would make her angry. At least then she'd be feeling something.

"Earth to Logan." Jubilee said, waving a hand in front of Logan's face, interrupting his thoughts. Logan glanced over at her. "What?" Logan asked. Jubilee gave him an exasperated look. "I SAID a group of us wanted to know if you could drive us up to the mall after lunch." Jubilee, while she was speaking, gestured across the crowded cafeteria to a handful of students that were seated at one of the tables. She then nodded towards the untouched plate of food that was sitting in front of Logan and added, "When you're done."

"I'll think about it." Logan said gruffly. Jubilee turned and headed back towards the group at the table, shrugging her shoulders in an 'I tried' gesture. Logan watched her go, feeling a little sorry for the kids. They'd all been going a tad stir crazy this weekend. Logan then turned his gaze back to Ororo. He'd been watching her quite a bit lately when he thought she wasn't looking, keeping an eye on her, wanting to be there if something gave. If Logan had had to give a name to his recent activities it would have been stalking, the label delivered with a heavy dose of sarcasm. Even in the privacy of his own mind Logan didn't, couldn't classify his actions for what they were – suicide watch. The unnamed fear was there however, half formed in the back of Logan's mind, taking the shape of a general feeling of unease and foreboding.