Taking the Pain Away
Chapter 1
Words: 1,000+
Rated: M
tumblr; thefluffyrenegade
Summary: Cry begins abusing prescription painkillers and pills to cope with the idea of his good friend and crush, Pewdie, proposing to his girlfriend Marzia. After losing control of his life, he finds himself in a struggle with a terrifying side of himself he never wanted to know, fighting for the boy he loves and the friends he needs.
(Thanks to Shihoudani, Hara and Cannibal for helping with my writing and giving me people to bounce ideas off of. I'm eventually going to post the updated versions of this fanfic. Each chapter will be much cleaner!)
Living in the US is, well, okay, but when you've lived here your whole life, you feel like you've seen and done everything. You start getting bored, you get an itch you can't ever seem to satisfy for something new, something bigger, and you want to be out in the rest of the world with the other people. Making something of yourself, making a name, being known, trying new things. That's what life used to mean.
Not anymore.
As Cry had gotten older, he's simply lost his lust for being in the action and didn't even really leave the apartment much for anything. He enjoyed his home, his laptop and his online friends, and if he needed company, he would Skype and play games, invite Red and Scott and a few other friends over for drinks and videos. He didn't really need to go out that much, and he didn't want to. Cry only entered society for these reasons: Food, games, and picking up his best friend PewDiePie from the airport. The last one was his favorite, without a doubt. Whenever Pewdie, or Felix as that was his real name came, to visit, Cry's no longer needed to be shelled around Felix made him Cry loved the blond , not just as friends. Pewdie meant more than life itself. He truly, deeply loved the guy. He couldn't imagine coping with life without having the man near him as it had been for over a year, as they gamed and visited, got drunk together and made mistakes together, thoroughly enjoying life to the fullest, and all he'd needed was PewDie all along.
Was he gay?
Only for Pewdie. But no one knew of his blossoming adoration aside from Jund, especially not the internet. There were enough fans of PewDieCry, so it is called, as it was, and he was sure wouldn't be able to cope with it if he make it worse. He did secretly enjoy reading a so-called PewDieCry fanfictions now and then. It was funny to see what situations the fans put the two Youtubers in, and it did help his imagination when he needed to… let off some steam, to put it nicely.
Whenever Pewdie would come to American to see him, they would always have tons of fun; not only games, but general fun. They always enjoyed each others company, even though in their daily life they lived thousands of miles apart. Cry did visit Pewdie in Sweden too though; just not so often since there was Marzia there. He'd never really minded her until as of recent, when PewDie seemed a little more occupied with her. She seemed to be more needy as of late and it really took away from Cry's Skype 'dates' or gaming, which was the entire reason he set alarms anymore.
When Pewdie came down this time to visit this time, he parked as close to the front of the airport as he could, and messed his hair brunette hair with his fingers, checked his teeth, smelled his armpits, and watched for Felix. As usual, his heart jumped when the sandy blonde walked through a pair of double doors and spotted the now familiar car, walking quickly towards it and throwing his bags into the trunk that Cry had open for him, before climbing in and relishing the tinted windows with a happy sigh, away from his fans and alone, best friend's, Cry's crush. "It's good you stayed out here, Cry." He started, laughing as he did and making Cry smile, good God, that laugh was intoxicating. "A couple bros recognized me inside and if they'd seen you with me, they would have made the connection easily."
Pewdie leaned over in the seat and pressed his lips to Cry's cheek and the America said nothing, a blush spreading across his face. Pewdie laughed, and Cry smiled, and he turned the car back on and began to drive. Although it was a rather silent trip, Cry was happy and laughed at everything Pewdie said, acknowledging his every word with a happy laugh and a joke, and they were content.
Cry had never been so reassured of their feelings for each other in his life as they spent the evening crammed up in Cry's apartment with his friends and Pewdie, drinking and playing games. He occasionally leaning over against Cry in his drunken laziness, and the brunette American relishing the feeling of Felix's head on his shoulder, and he made short, embarrassed glances at Scott who was smiling and watching on the other couch. Pewdie's scent wreathed over him and he felt himself get dizzy, managing to work up the courage to gently rub his fingers into Pewd's scalp, playing with the adorable blond hair he loved so much. Listening to Felix sigh, content, and lean into Cry's hand felt amazing and he pushed his glasses up further on his nose, grinning shyly at his friends who by now were watching, smiling, as Cry worked up the courage to tell Pewdie how he felt.
This was the happiest Cry ever was.
"I think I have a ring picked out."
Until Pewdie announced that he wanted to propose to Marzia.