Different Pilots, Same Flight
By BlackFeatherz29
Chapter 1: Chuck
Welcome to the first chapter of my biggest idea yet. For those of you who know me, yes, I am still working on my other stories. This is just so cool an idea that I couldn't pass it by. Besides, this is like the easiest sort of fanfiction to write yet. I've got the characters down, and the story down already. Hopefully, this will go faster than my updates usually do.
Special thanks goes to Nemrut and Payce who helped me with the title. Any suggestions on how to make it better?
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Chuck. I'm just having fun with this idea.
The party was in full swing. Colorful crystalline lights hung from the ceiling corners, giving the normally practical living space a snazzy retro feeling. The fountain in the middle of the courtyard was strewn with flowers, the hostess's personal touch. And of course, the punch flowed abundantly and was potent enough to set ablaze.
Yamanaka Ino weaved through the laughing, bobbing bodies with practiced ease. One goal occupied her mind that completely destroyed any hope of her enjoying her own party. After the third time combing her way from the porch to the courtyard without success, she lost her patience and made a beeline for the stairs. This was not going to happen, not at her party.
"FOREHEAD GIRL!"
A bang announced Ino's presence as she threw the door inward. There was no answer except the visual cue of a pink sheet looped around the bedpost hanging out the window…
Ino stuck her head angrily out into the night air and glared at the two escapees below. They squeaked and quaked, midway through rappelling down the brick wall.
"Um, Lee was just teaching me how to rappel down a vertical surface in case a terrorist came to my room in the middle of the night…" came the feeble excuse.
"No excuses!" Ino yelled. "Get the hell back into your room!"
A second later, she stuck her head back out and glared at the other escapee. "Lee, what are you doing here? Go home!"
"I don't understand what this is all about," Sakura whined as she slouched in the chair facing Ino's mirror. "I already told you that I'm not attending your party, so what's the big deal?"
"What's the big deal?" thundered Ino, dumping a cloud of hair spray onto her stepsister's pink hair. "You won't even come to the party that I threw for your birthday! I've even personally asked boys to come! Actual boys! Not those losers that you hang out with at that crap bookstore!"
"But they're all your friends…" Sakura sighed, trying dutifully not to wince too much as Ino viciously stuck pins into her scalp. The dress itched, too. The inner lining was rough and rubbed against her thighs, and she wanted nothing more than to escape through that window and play video games with Lee until morning.
But once Ino got her hands on something, she wouldn't leave it alone until she had gotten it to look and behave exactly what she wanted it to. Thusly, she was trapped.
"Yo, Sakura! Catch!"
Not a split second later did a football spiral through the air directly at her face. Sakura ducked ungracefully but managed to avoid the lethal leather spheroid.
She was still blinking with surprise when Kiba jogged over followed by his huge pet dog. "Sorry about that just now. But your ducking skills are still top notch."
"Of course," she replied dryly, ruffling Akamaru's fur. "One can't hope to survive in this house without developing some excellent survival habits."
"Enough fooling around, Kiba!" scolded Ino, hustling Sakura quickly away toward a few moderately good-looking men with expensive-looking silk shirts.
Sakura squirmed in her itchy dress and heels as Ino introduced her in a loud voice. The men began paying a modicum of attention.
"So… you're Ino's sister, Sakura? You're both really cute, but you don't look much like her…?"
"I'm her stepsister," Sakura answered robotically, thinking longingly of her trusty computer humming on her desk in her room upstairs. "Our parents are gone."
"Oh, I'm sorry about that."
"Mmmhmm."
"And what school did you go to? Ino said that you went somewhere famous."
"Keio. I was expelled in my fourth year, though."
"Oh, I had a buddy who knew a girl who went there! What was her name, Hina-something?"
"Hongo Hinata," supplied Sakura hollowly, eyes unfocused. "Yeah, I think she's an accountant or something now…"
Hongo Hinata dropped out of an air duct, landing sounding on bare feet and glancing around expertly with steely grey eyes. It was clear that she was most definitely NOT an accountant.
The sound of loud footfalls further down the hallway sent her sprinting in the other direction. Ducking into a side hallway, she spied movement in the corner of her eye and slid onto the floor as gunshots punctured the wall where her torso had been a second ago.
Panting, she jumped back to her feet and threw a fist through the single pane of glass to seize the heavy metal fire extinguisher and hurling it through the double-paned reinforced glass wall. Bracing herself for a second, she jumped through the resulting hole, landing heavily on the concrete roof of the nearby building.
She pulled herself to her knees as gunshots were heard in the hallway from which she had just jumped and turned back to see more black-suited troops heading up the emergency stairwell to her current location.
Hiking up her pencil skirt, she took a running start and leapt over the edge of the roof onto the rooftop of the next building a few feet below. The strenuous physical activity was taking a toll on her body, and she spotted a metal car garage below and braced herself as she threw herself onto that and rolled off to the ground below.
But before she had taken more than three steps toward sweet freedom, a loud shot rang out and she collapsed on the spot, a bloody hole through her chest. Her last gasping action was to scroll through her phone, selecting a single contact and pressing the send button.
A pair of black booted feet approached behind her prone body, and she grinned triumphantly against the rough asphalt as the life left her. "Sorry, Sasuke-kun. You're too late."
"Says you," came the cold voice above her, and a second shot ended her ragged breathing.
Only the blinking 'sent' screen and resulting address on her phone gave credit to her merciless killer's claim.
"… and then we really hit it off then, playing Warcraft until like an hour before class started. I honestly don't understand how she did it, you know? I mean, we were perfect for each other, and then she just came barreling in. And I guess I understand the shame in having a girlfriend who was expelled, but you'd think that since we've been through those tough times, he would have been there for me during then…"
It took Sakura a period of time to notice that nobody was listening to her anymore. The space in front of her was empty, the men gone, and her feet hurt. She sighed again. There she went on that random tangent again. It wasn't going to work, no matter how many times Ino dolled her up. It didn't seem like she was ever getting out of that rut anytime soon.
The party looked like it was winding down anyway, so she decided to take her leave and just disappear for awhile. She didn't want to see disappointment again on her sister's face.
Closing the door to her room and leaning her back against the door, Sakura heaved another massive sigh. She seemed to be doing that a lot these days. Somehow Ino had decided that if she just took action and kept on going, Sakura would finally be able to move on. And somehow, Sakura knew that it didn't work that way.
It wasn't just a simple expulsion. It wasn't even a simple breakup or backstabbing best friend betrayal. It was more than that. That chain of events had completely and utterly destroyed her life, and it was going to take more than five years to recover from that.
Sakura was interrupted from her depressing thoughts by a small sound from her computer. She kicked off her shoes and went to take a closer look. It looked like an email. And it was from… Hongo Hinata?
She stared at that notice for an indeterminate amount of time, emotions crashing inside of her. That seemingly shy girl had played the biggest role in destroying her life, and now she wants to reconnect? Sakura almost shut the monitor off in anger, but something stopped her. What if there was something important? It could possibly provide some well-needed closure, or else make it all worse.
No, this was no time to make the wrong decision. Curiosity overrode spiteful desire, and Sakura clicked on the link before she could stop herself.
There was no message, but there was one attachment. Double-clicking on that brought up a black screen with one line on it and a blinking box afterward:
'When all else fails?'
Sakura was immediately hit with a wave of nostalgia. She used to be such good friends with Hinata, and they had had a small inside joke that they had used to get over post-exam jitters.
'Overdose on whipped cream', she typed into the box, and pressed enter.
And then everything turned white.
Sasuke picked his way through the curled black ruins of a burned-out structure. "You wanted to see me, General Sarutobi?"
The old dignified-looking man stood in the center of the room and inclined his head slightly. "Major Uchiha. Yes, I did call for you."
He gestured at the surrounding damage. "I have a new assignment for you that involves the contents of this room and what you found on Agent Hyuuga's phone."
Sasuke didn't react. "This was her doing?"
"Correct. Agent Hyuuga went rogue, took the valuable contents of this room, and fled. If not for you, she would have escaped and dropped off the radar. Your country thanks you for your efforts and your sacrifice. However, the trail does not end there. In her last moment, she sent the contents of this room to an outside source that we are currently tracing at this minute."
"If I may ask, what were the contents that were so valuable?"
"A super-computer, if you will. We developed this source of information as a way to share intelligence among our various units, but development has been long and treacherous. The first version, called the Izanagi no Mikoto after the god of legend, failed to activate. However, our engineers devised a way to properly harness the intelligence of the computer by endowing it with a sort of consciousness. In short, this second version, the Izanami no Mikoto, possesses artificial intelligence."
"And Hinata stole it? How?"
"This is a mystery that we intend to find out. There is no way to access the computer without exposing oneself to it and thereby downloading it, of which there has been no positive result of yet. Our scientists have concluded that the currently version may be usable if the subject can survive the download, but as of right now no one has succeeded."
"You think that Hinata downloaded this super-computer and remained unharmed? How can that be possible?"
"I don't know. The good thing is that you successfully intercepted her before she could do any damage, but we have no control over whoever she sent it to. They may be accessing it as we speak…"
The first thing that Sakura realized was that it was morning. The second was of the itchy tulle underlining of her party dress. She hadn't even gotten to take that thing off? Wow, she must have been roaring drunk. Strange, but she didn't seem to remember drinking any of that potent punch…
The slamming headache that she was experiencing almost made her missing the blinking message on her monitor screen. Large flashing white letters proclaimed, 'Download Complete'. What the hell?
A quick glance at the alarm clock told her that she shouldn't waste any more time thinking about unnecessary things. She'd take care of this later. Now, she had to get ready for work.
After showering, dressing in her uniform (khakis and a polo with sneakers), and grabbing coffee along with an extra Advil, Sakura carefully maneuvered her way to her car without once encountering Ino or her boyfriend. She really didn't need that to aggravate her headache.
"Sakura-san!" Lee came jogging up from an adjacent apartment in a manner that looked far too casual to not have been timed beforehand. "How was the party? Did you meet anybody nice?"
Sakura sighed on remembering. "Not really, Lee. I ruined Ino's party again without meaning to, and I don't really want to talk about that. Hurry up; we're going to be late."
Arriving at what Ino called 'the crap bookstore', Sakura and Lee made their way through the back door and navigated their way expertly through the maze of old dusty tomes.
"Good morning, everyone!" Lee called jovially, waving energetically at the fellow workers lazing throughout the store.
Kakashi, her boss, gave a wave through the doorway of his office but didn't look up from his 'educational' reading. Shikamaru didn't stir from his early mid-morning nap. Chouji ignored them all and continued working his way through his huge breakfast. Temari gave a jolly wave and went back to her gossip magazine and low-fat latte, and her strange brother Gaara had already disappeared beneath piles upon piles of priceless flaky books. The other strange brother, Kankurou, was nowhere to be seen. Probably ditching again. Kakashi was too lazy to fire him.
"You do not look healthy, Sakura-san," observed Lee, stowing his satchel neatly into his metal locker in the employee's lounge and extracting his apron. "Did you partake in too much of Kiba's punch? I am told that too much alcohol decreases a person's youthfulness until one is nothing more than a sunken husk. Please, do not wreck your youthful body indiscriminately!"
"Don't work yourself into another rant, please," Sakura groaned, tying her apron around her waist. No matter how much she loved Rock Lee, she could not stand it when he started ranting about youthfulness and lotus blossoms, especially when she was the subject. Sakura could still remember on the first day of second grade, when Lee had confessed his undying love for her and she had flung a handful of woodchips at his face and run away. He'd earned a stammered apology and a large amount of respect the next morning at recess when he'd saved her from a handful of older boys who thought it'd be fun to pull out her hair as souvenirs. And she'd returned the favor by standing up to a bunch of Libbies who were trying to bully Lee about his abysmal fashion sense and caterpillar eyebrows.
Nevertheless, weird bowl-headed Rock Lee would have to give up pursuit of the heart of his lotus blossom but rather her undying loyalty as her best friend. And through their bond grew a love for video games, books, and all things nerdy. Needless to say, Ino didn't particularly like him as he had moved on from his childhood crush on Sakura to a not-much-more mature crush on her, as well as him being a major contribution factor to her withdrawal from the outside world all these years.
As the resident computer expert, Sakura rounded all the employees and went to work on them. "You guys, you may not realize that technology is becoming more and more important in the world since we live in a bubble of updated books," ("Who even needs books?" muttered Shikamaru, peeved at having been woken from his nap), "but lately there's been a deadly virus making its way around, and I have to warn you about this before the only two operational computers in this store are trashed."
She summoned up a video. And all the employees winced as they watched the normally harmless Icha Icha Paradise porn vid (not that it ever was quite harmless) turn a notebook into charred pieces of metal. "Don't you dare let Kakashi get his virtual hands on that video, or else this store goes down. Got it?"
"Sakura-san! We've got a new shipment this morning, and there are a few orders that we have to deliver."
Sakura assessed the conditions of the employees in the store. Temari looked rather hung-over this morning, so she would have to wait until later. Gaara always scared the customers. Shika… aw, screw him. Chouji looked like he was almost done with breakfast, though.
"Chouji-kun, would you mind delivering this package to this address?" she asked, handing him a list. Chouji grunted either in affirmation or not; she didn't much care. He never talked much (except to rant), but one thing she liked about her was that he got things done.
As he got up to leave and brushed the crumbs off his shirt, Temari dragged her away insistently. "Girl, it's a Hottie Alert! There's a hottie coming in right now!" She instantly started applying more makeup (which she didn't need) and glancing surreptitiously toward the entrance.
Sakura rolled her eyes. What did she care that a 'hottie' was going to walk in? What did she believe in true love when the love of her life just up and dumped her for her ex-best friend? What did she care –
Oh wow.
The person who walked in was indeed attractive. Average height, muscular under his casual suit jacket and plain t-shirt, and that rugged, likeable face.
Sakura disliked him on sight.
"So… what can we do for you?" asked Temari flirtatiously, leaning on the counter showing off her low-cut blouse.
'Bugger off, for all I care,' Sakura thought, wearing a fake smile. 'Stupid good-looking studs. Always looking to break girls' hearts…'
"I'm looking for cookbooks, actually," the stud in question answered, smiling in a friendly manner. "I'm kind of a ramen connoisseur on the side, and I heard that this store has a lot of rare books."
Temari's giggles and smile subsided as she gave the hot guy one last look and turned to her co-worker standing beside her. "Well, in that case, I recommend Sakura here to give you the lowdown. She's got the entire floor plan in her head and I'm sure that she'll get you what you want."
Sakura glanced at her in irritation. "You do not just push customers onto me whenever you feel like it," she hissed softly. "Whatever happened to your flirting?"
"I don't like guys who do cooking," Temari sniffed. "They're stupid and girly."
Sakura nearly threw up her hands in exasperation but turned around and directed the customer to the appropriate aisle.
"So, your name is Sakura, am I right?"
The female in question turned to look dubiously at him. "If you're hoping to pick me up, you're sadly mistaken, Mr.…?"
"Uzumaki Naruto, at your service," he answered with a silly sort of bow. "Hey now, don't get so defensive. I'm just being friendly here."
Sakura felt a little bad for being so hostile, but she wasn't going to apologize. Let him blame Hongo Hinata for that. A perfect distraction came in the form of a young boy wandering through the aisles with shifty eyes.
"Well, here's the cooking section. You can probably find your way around this area by yourself; you're a big boy," she said with a smile, happy to be getting away from the friendly guy who caused funny fluttery feelings to sprout in the pit of her stomach.
It turned out that the errant boy was looking for one particularly obscure book to impress a girl. How cute. Undoubtedly fun to mess with, but Sakura relented at his earnestness. Ah, young love. "You'd better make that girl happy or you're not allowed in this store ever again," she told him as he scurried away in relief, not noticing the fond smile that Naruto wore as he witnessed the entire scene from an aisle away.
Temari and Lee were giving her weird looks when she came back to the central counter. "You go girl!" Temari smirked. "He left you a call card."
Lee was grinning as well. "Honestly, I did not like him at first, Sakura-san. But then he and I traded workout tips, and I think that he may be a decent man yet. I wish you all the luck in the world!"
Sakura gaped, although internally she felt oddly relieved. "You guys! I'm not even interested!"
"You may believe that you do not desire human interaction," Lee lectured, pulling up to the curb of the apartment complex that he, Sakura, and Ino shared, "but I do not think that that is healthy. I verily believe that a man's influence may be your long-lost fountain of youthfullness!"
"Not you, too!" Sakura cried, rolling her eyes and trudging her way toward the front door. "Okay, he might not have been as bad as I thought he was, and he may be good-looking and all, but you can't believe that one guy is going to make my life what it was before. See, I live in the real world, and in the real world I know that jocks like him don't associate with depressed and jaded nerds like me."
Opening the door, the last thing she expected to see was a black-clad ninja in the center of the living room, caught in the act of stealing her precious computer.
A long silence ensued as the occupants decided how they were going to react. Lee, as usual, went first.
"I cannot allow such an unyouthful presence steal my beautiful lotus blossoms's beloved possessions!" he bellowed, snatching up one of Kiba's golf clubs and brandishing it wildly. The ninja dropped his booty onto a shelf on the wall and did some complicated-looking karate moves in return. And then Lee charged ("NOOOOO!" screamed Sakura, fearing for her computer's sake), and everything went to hell.
Not only did Lee not succeed in incapacitating the ninja but he became the victim of the golf club. And his large muscle mass became used for pinning Sakura down when he was thrown on top of her after getting whacked with the golf club. Before either of the two downed nerds or the ninja could move, though, the shelf holding the computer gave way and the precious cargo smashed onto the floor into a thousand tiny pieces.
The ninja quickly decided that it wasn't worth staying any longer, and leapt out the doorway and into his getaway car. As he peeled away from the sidewalk, he angrily tore off his facemask, revealing the handsome but flustered face of Uzumaki Naruto.
"Damn it!" he muttered, wiping his sweaty face with a hand.
And there you have it: 1/2 of the pilot episode of Chuck, reimagined with Naruto characters. Feedback, reviews? My stories don't normally get a lot of those, so I'd appreciate anything you would like to say.
PS: I know Hinata's last name isn't Hongo; I'm not stupid. It's for spy purposes...
Next chapter will wrap up the Chuck episode. And after that, look forward to Supernatural.