I wasn't myself. I never was. I only look back now to see that it was true. Why did it take forever, I wonder, to regain my true sense?
I sit here in the solitude, curling my fingers against the armrest of my chair; I have plenty of time to wonder, to ponder, and to plot. And guess what? I plotted a lot when I first got here. I also sat in suspense, wondering if my true intentions would ever become known.
Who was I to hope? I wasn't myself, even then. And of course those intentions of mine would be discovered. I laugh now, bitterly.
Why did I plan all this again? I wanted revenge. Against two that stopped me from rising. Was it really all because of a simple card game? Even now, I still don't understand. Do you?
I was taken a hold right before that case. The devil seemed to whisper to me, 'This is the chance, take it!' Even now, he is still here, in this scar, in this hand. I'll never be able to forget it.
Why do you sit here? Does it pleasure you to watch me try and clean up the messes you left behind?
You lived in that life, as I watched from a cage… the cage of my mind. And even now, when I'm free from those mental bars, I'm still in a cage, imprisoned. I'm freed in a jail. It's ironic, isn't it?
You laugh at me, and so do I. I mock myself, and so do you.
I wonder now why he looked up to me. He was one of the only people I cared for. Yet, I was slowly being corrupted. Was it because I was able to hide the secrets within? Though now, when I think back, I'm half glad that he is one of the people who now know my true intentions, and my history. At least he knows better not to follow my twisted path.
I thought you have done all you have to do. Stop that smile. I know. How could I not? I know you better than anyone else. Don't keep me in your company anymore; it's just insult to my mental injury. The one you caused.
But wait, before you go. When you finally leave me forever… Could you do one thing for me? Just one?
Remember to leave me with my sanity.
Writing from a prompt.
You lived your life, as I watched from a cage… the cage of my mind.
Ardent Skies '10