I had this idea tonight while standing outside. My little brother pointed at the sky and said "Star!" I looked up and covered the star with my hand, pretending to "grab" it. I thought, "How sad. I can close my fist around it all I want, but I'll never touch that star." Things in life are like that sometimes.
And so you know I had to turn this into something cute.
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"How sad." Ritsuka thought to himself. "I... can't reach it."
REACH FOR THE STARS
His hand was extended to the sky.
He was standing there, just standing outside in the dim night, the pale moonlight washing over him, his hand reaching toward the glittering stars in the black sky.
His fingertips were stretched to their limit reaching for a paritcular star that had caught Ritsuka's eye. He closed a fist around the star.
"How sad." he said to the night. "I can never make my hand reach that distance."
It was something so small, and yet so profound. Stars were millions, perhaps billions, of miles away. He could never reach them, no matter how hard he tried. Even when it seemed he had the star within his grasp, it was only an illusion. It wasn't there, and it never would be.
He thought about Soubi.
Blushing at himself for the way his mind had jumped to the man, he sat down on the grass, lowering his hand. Soubi was so close, and yet so far away. Exactly like the star.
Ritsuka could do what he pleased with Soubi, as he could close his hand around the star as he pleased, but neither were actually there for him.
He could envision Soubi, envision himself with Soubi, even envision himself holding that star in the palm of his hand, but something prevented it.
Distance.
What the star held for him was physical distance.
Soubi's distance was much more powerful. Much more painful.
He could physically touch Soubi, something that he could only dream about with the star, but the two were so different. Physically touching wasn't enough, not in Soubi's case. Ritsuka wanted more. He wanted to be inside, not outside any longer.
He wanted inside of Soubi.
How else could he ever understand that stoic man?
His fingers subconsciously tightened around the cell phone in his pocket.
"Call anytime. I'll always answer."
Ritsuka lay back on the grass, extending his hand toward the stars again.
"Stargazing?"
He sat up abruptly, seeing Soubi standing by the gate.
"Soubi..."
A wave of emotion surged through his body at the sound of the name. Soubi was there... but he wasn't. Vaguely, he felt himself rise, his legs moving in the direction of the man standing before him. He felt his arms numbly close around the warm body.
"You're here, Soubi... but you aren't..."
Soubi wrapped his arms around Ritsuka in return, thoroughly surprised but welcoming the embrace affectionately. He smiled warmly, looking into Ritsuka's eyes.
"I'm here Ritsuka, I'm always here."
"You're not... you're not..." He buried his face in Soubi's chest once more.
"Ritsuka..."
"I want inside..."
"Ritsuka?"
"I want inside... of you..."
Soubi blushed. What did Ritsuka mean?
"You're here... but it's like you're so far away."
Soubi smiled. He took Ritsuka's hand, and led him back to the grass.
"Lie down now, and tell me what this is all about." He lay down, patting the spot next to him. Ritsuka lay down, curling his body around Soubi's.
"Reach for that star, Soubi." Ritsuka pointed.
"Yes, sir." His obedient fingers stretched out to the sky.
"Can you touch it, Soubi?"
"Of course not." His eyes widened in understanding as Ritsuka hugged him closer.
"Soubi..."
"Is that what this is all about?" He turned to his side to face Ritsuka's body, and placed a small, soft kiss on the lips in front of him.
"I'm here, Ritsuka. I love you. I'm here."
"Can we stay here... Soubi?"
"As long as you like, Ritsuka."
Ritsuka's hand reached for the star again, and this time, Soubi's hand rose as well, his fingers lacing with the the boy's.
"Can you feel it, Ritsuka?"
Ritsuka could. He'd finally touched that star.
OWARI
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A/N: Gah, I think I'm turning into an angst bunny. Is it just me, or is what I write getting sappy?
Eh... who cares? I like cuteness.