Tears Within My Soul.
As you take your seat in front of me, hair twisted up in a knot at the back of you head, I glance down at my lunch tray for a moment. Dressed in a Batman tee-shirt and blue slacks, I feel strangely out of place. You are dressed in a purple skirt, with a pink shirt to match. I ask myself silently why you are sitting with me, the 'geek boy'.
"Hey," You say, and stretch a hand out to shake my own. "I'm Summer."
"Seth." I mutter, spearing a piece of chicken. I bring it to my lips as you start on your brownie.
"So, Anderson's class so be fun, huh?" You ask.
"It'll be alright," I reply and the dreaded silence returns. Why are you sitting with me? I want to scream that you should be with your other friends, to go away and stop making fun of me. I know deep inside that this is all part of a sick dare, and this girl, Summer, has been dared to sit with the geek boy for lunch. Jokes about me and her will float around the school for a week, and than another geek will become the latest topic.
As I swallow my chicken, nearly choking myself, my eyes dart around the cafeteria, hoping to see fingers pointed in my direction and smirks of Luke's face. Because that would be normal, expected.
And this is not.
"Why are you sitting with me?" I ask, raising my eyes to meet your gaze.
"Why can't I?" You reply, shrugging your shoulders.
Anger boils within me. "Okay, Summer, just go. And make sure you tell Luke of whatever his name is that dared you to sit here, that Seth Cohen does not want to be a part of the stupid dares anymore."
Your head droops. "No-one dared me to sit here," You say. "But if you want me to leave, I'll leave." You stand, raising your tray. "Sorry to have bothered you."
"Wait!" I stand up and place a hand on your shoulder. "You can sit."
Your eyes flutter up to meet mine and you smile. "Thanks."
I take my seat after you take your and spear another piece of chicken as you finish your brownie. You eat desert first, I notice, a smile tugging at the corners of my soul. This is one of the many quirks I notice about you during our lunch together, and one of many that I will adore later one.
You grin when I laugh. You often daze off into the distance. You have seen It's A Wonderful Life over a hundred times and can recite certain passages by heart. You adore the color blue, and the ocean as dawn.
You sit with me the next day, a Thursday and we spend the entire lunch planning our own comic book series entitled "Summer and Geek Boy" which will have a total of 20 chapters. You laugh rings through the cafeteria when I tell a joke, and I smile. I never thought school could be this fun.
But the next day, a Friday, you are not there at –our- the seat at lunch. I assume it is because you are away, and unwrap my sandwich taking a bite as I draw a sketch in my art book.
But, half through lunch, Luke and Marissa enter the cafeteria, hand in hand. Luke and his cronies laugh when they pass me, and one of them hit me on the back of my head as they pass. My eyes dart around the group to see who has done it, and then, beside Marissa, make-up spread heavily across your eyelids, is you, laughing your laugh, smiling our smile.
When the group turns to go, you turn to glance at me. I meet your eyes and you smile, before turning and following Marissa.
I do not return the smile.
As I leave the cafeteria, I throw the plan of our comic book into the bin so harshly it lands outside the bin where it is stood on by the herd of students that come rushing in. The comic book will never see daylight.
Because that is the way it goes. You, beautiful and smart Summer, were snatched up by Marissa and thus could not sit with me anymore. I am used to this. This is old hat to me. I will live my life as I did before you came into it.
But that assurance does not stop the tears within my soul.