Hey guys, I'm still working on my other story (Something Wicked This Way Comes) but a plot bunny grabbed hold of me and wouldn't let me be… So, after a sleepless night and lots of typing I came up with this, whatever this is. It's pretty short, 2 parts and done.
This is basically taking off from Broken. I just really wanted more from Belle and Rumple...their scenes were heartbreakingly sweet, but I just wanted more... So here some more :)
HUGE shout-out to Luna8 for betaing this for me – greatly appreciated!
DISCLAIMER: Once Upon a Time isn't mine, the songs used are by Mumford & Sons… I was listening to them as I wrote this…they ending up influencing this story more than I realized :)
Our Tale, Is A Tale As Old As Time
Though lovers be lost love shall not.
Dylan Thomas
Part I
That We Would Remember
You hold your truth so purely
Well swerve not through the minds of men
This lie is dead
And this cup of yours tastes holy
The purple hazy smoke had dissipated, leaving no trace that it had even been. Yet, its effect was real and palpable; more real, perhaps, than even reality itself. Magic was coming and taking root in the small town. He practically hummed with it.
Belle. Here, alive. Real.
She was so real and she remembered. She remembered him. She loved him. She was real and in his arms. His beautiful, majestic Belle was alive. She loved him. Still, after all these years. Still, after what he had done to her. Still, after all the pain he had caused her; after sending her away. After the things he had said, had done. After the monster he was to her then, and the beast that he was now, still she loved him.
He was kissing her. He felt emotion well inside of him, pushing, foreign, to the surface. He could count on one hand the people that affected him, and he was sure that Belle was worth two. He wanted to cry. He wanted to laugh. He wanted to shout but he stood pressed against her, one hand on his cane and the other caressing her face, as he let her soft lips imprint and hold fast his soul. He hadn't kissed another women since that fateful True Love's kiss all those unfathomable years ago.
She was back, she was home again in his arms, and she was a sweeter, more infinite, intense magic than any other. She was True Love. His True Love.
"You promise…no revenge. We will just go on? Yes? You and me…Rumplestiltskin, how I've missed you, you dear man."
Those beautiful cerulean eyes staring up at him with such trust and truth, she brushed her fingers feather light across his face, touching her forehead against his. "My dear, dear, Rumplestiltskin how I love you."
She leaned into him searching for another kiss that he willingly, enthusiastically gave. She sounded as breathless and as full of wonder as he felt.
"Yes dearest…you and I," he kissed her earnestly, drinking in her sweet perfect lips and tasting her innocence and kindness. He hadn't tasted such in a great, great while and it made him hunger deeply.
But his conscience, that stiff, often ignored sense, began to stir to life; began to pain him. He was lying to her. He didn't deserve her. He was still a monster.
Oh, but he'd suffer the fire of 9 hells to keep her. He'd fall on his own damned dagger to keep her with him now that he had her back to his bosom. So what, really, was a lie? Perhaps one day he would deserve her, but he would keep her, for as long as she would stay, and not feel a bit of regret.
Even as the Royal family left and he went about his revenge, easing his pangs of unfamiliar guilt by clinging to his choice of semantics, he clung to the idea it could be worse. He was not going to kill Regina. He was merely facilitating the means to her end. He really deserved a medal. He wasn't one for accolades though. He was one more to skulk in the shadows, to weave between and prey on weakness, to exploit grief and fear. He was the most powerful man – thing – in two lands. He masterminded complex curses and plans. He was also a coward wrapped in a façade of bravado and cruelty.
"You lied…"
He closed his eyes turning to her slowly.
"I didn't, not really, I said I wouldn't kill her. I didn't, I didn't even try!"
She looked so pained, so betrayed.
"You toy with words just as you toy with people!" she lashed at him.
He opened his mouth to argue, "Belle I'm sorry, I'm…sorry," was all he could manage to get out. He wanted to explain to her, wanted to tell her everything: all of his plans, why he had done this, why he had to make Regina pay. Oh, he knew the torment Belle must have gone though, all those years…28 years in that asylum. All that time, here as well as there, all as Regina's prisoner; as her pawn. He could not stand by while Regina got away with hurting his Belle like that. It was not just! It was not right! He would have flayed her himself, and felt the joy of it, if he had not promised his Belle.
But a brush with the Devil can clear your mind
And strengthen your spine
But fingers tap into what you were once
And I'm worried that I blew my only chance
He wanted Belle to understand why he had done it; the blind rage that prompted it. He felt the magic again stirring inside of him, bringing back urges and impulses he hadn't felt in so long. He had always held power in Storybrooke; had held an amount of prestige and instilled fear, held control but it was a pale shadow compared to what he had before. Mr. Gold was not Rumplestiltskin. Of that he was very sure. Yet now, on this very day in just scant hours, his magic and his Belle had been returned to him. His power had been delivered back with a cloud of purple smoke and the hard, calloused muscle that resided in his chest had begun to remind him that it was for more than just pumping blood.
How could he explain that Regina had done more than imprison her, that she had been using her to hurt him…how could explain that she was hurt, again, because of him. How could he explain that the battle between himself and Regina went back further than she could imagine. Explain that her death really served no greater purpose (but then again neither did her life so far as he was concerned) then to put to right a great many wrongs. At least, if you thought blood begetting blood was valid compensation.
Rumplestiltskin thought so in many cases, especially when it came to his Belle, but how could he explain this to her? This woman, nay she was no more than a girl really, that believed so ardently in True Love that she brought the Dark One to his knees. This woman who was pure and lovely and believed in right and wrong so wholly that she couldn't see the shades of grey he lived in, survived by. She was brave and good, the very antithesis to all his darkness. Of course, he knew that it was because she was as good as she was, that she loved him; he did ardently believe she loved him, that was no longer at all in doubt. He had doubted her once, never again. Yet, her loving him was also what would keep them apart.
She did love him, but she also couldn't love him. Not as he was. He was, despite her best hopes, her best efforts, still a monster, and still the beast her father had called him all those years ago. There would be no changing that, at least not to the extent that she hoped. Some men were born to be princes, even if their fathers were farmers, some men were born to be heroes, and some men were born to do the work that princes and heroes could not. Aye, he was born not the hero or King; Rumplestiltskin was born to walk in grey and shadows. Men like him didn't win the fair maiden or true love, that wasn't how fairy tales went he knew. Their tale was one as old as time itself and it was not one that got a happy ending.
"I thought you'd changed!" her voice was soft, but heavy in intent.
Lord, but he was frustrated. He couldn't explain, he couldn't tell her, what was he supposed to do? What?
"What, in the hour that you've known me?" he could have cut out his tongue soon as the sardonic, hard words had passed his lips. He was just so frustrated.
She reacted like he had slapped her across the face and he had to force himself not to reach out and try to ease the hurt. She said nothing turning to the door.
He did reach for her then, "Belle, wait…I didn't mean…" He couldn't quite force himself to go after her. He would not keep her, he would not beg her to stay because he was sure she would, but he had let her go so long ago…he had sent her for straw…
"Town? You trust me to come back?"
"Oh, no. I expect I'll never see you again."
He had let her go that day and swore he'd never hold her captive again, be it by bargain or plea. No, he knew well enough that he didn't deserve her but he was too weak a man-imp-thing, to send her away again…never again; once had torn him apart at the very seams. If she would stay with him of her own volition, of her own will, if she could, despite all evidence and all reason to the contrary, love him and stay, he was a selfish and weak enough being to keep her. Keep her gratefully and know the value of the gift she gave freely, but he would not, could not chase her and bring her back. Damn his black soul to the miserable hell he knew waited for beings like him.
He closed his eyes waiting to hear his door chime ring as she left into the storm. It never came. He slowly opened his eyes and looked up to find her standing before him, face open and clear.
"You need to go…" he felt himself tearing, breaking down. He gripped his cane harder.
"Why?" she asked softly, simply.
"Because… because, no matter how you wish it I am still a monster and you need to leave…" It was the best he could do. This was him being brave, being selfless. This was as much as he could bear, and it was only because he truly loved her, loved her like no other.
She came closer to him, so close she had to tip her head further back to look him in the face. "Don't you see, beautiful man? That is exactly why I must stay?" Her hands cupped the sides of face and she smiled that beautiful, heart-breaking smile.
"Belle…this may be the body of a man…a crippled man at that, but you know, you must know I'm still the beast, the monster, the Imp, the Dark One…I just wear a different mask." Her hands were so soft against his skin; he relished and savored her touch until his very bones felt soft with it. She had no idea how her love, her touch was a magic all its own; a magic more pure and more powerful than his. She had all the power, she just didn't realize it, and for now he prayed she never would because she was his greatest weakness…but perhaps too his greatest strength.
She smiled at him, again so sweetly, "You are a man…I know you're a man, lest you forget. I also know that you're so much more than you fear you are. I have missed you so, I've longed for you… I've never stopped thinking about you… I might have forgotten you for those miserable 28 years she had me locked up here, but when…when we were back in our own land, even as she had me imprisoned there I thought about you, I loved you, I forgave you."
He was trembling inside, he closed his eyes again afraid that she would see into his soul, see it was curling into itself, away from her light and goodness…his soul was dark, light was penetrating and scaring back the demons and it burned.
"Rumplestiltskin, I know you. I know you in ways I think few do. I know there is more goodness in you than what you want people to believe. I know that you're powerful and have done terrible things, I know this and I love you still. Heaven help me, I love you still," she laughed softly and kissed his cheek.
"Rumplestiltskin," he hadn't heard his name in so long, and he thought she hadn't probably said it in nearly as long. It was like a light spring rain watering his heart, "I have waited so long to be back with you and it terrifies me that your power, your thirst for revenge…your magic will tear us apart again. I cannot bear to lose you again… Not ever again. I want you to choose me, choose love…don't destroy us."
He was shaking now, he couldn't help it, "Belle, I would never, not now, ever hurt you. I gave you up once…I won't do it again. I will make the wrong choices, I will do things you won't understand and things you won't approve of. I don't do it to hurt you but there is so much that I haven't told you… that I can't even begin to explain… I can't change overnight you know." His voice wobbled and mouth quirked in a small almost rueful smile.
She beamed at him, "I was hasty and scared… I can wait. I wore you down once and I can do it again. I love you as you, as you were, as you are …and whatever you – we – will be. I can accept things I don't understand if you promise to try and always be honest with me, give me a chance to understand. Maybe even ask me what I think…" she laughed softly then, pulling away from him but reaching to take his hand, leading him to a chair he had on display. She waved him to sit and quickly perched herself on the sturdy arm. "I know this will be something of a surprise, but just because I smile and am kind doesn't mean I'm naïve." He opened his mouth to defend himself.
"Hush. You've always treated me with kid gloves and gentleness…well maybe not always kid gloves," they shared a smile, "but Rumplestiltskin I am much more clever then you give me credit for…you know I'm incredibly well read. I do try and see the best in people and I always find a reason to be happy and see a reason to smile… and I do believe in right and wrong and good and evil… But do not ever doubt that I am smart, and not near as naïve and innocent as you like to make me out to be. I am stronger than I look you know."
He smiled broadly at her, "Oh Belle…" he grasped her hand and kissed it feeling like someone had handed him the entire earth and sun and stars. "I don't deserve you."
She stroked his hair back away from his face, "Oh my dear man, if everyone only got what he or she deserved what a dark and horrid life we'd live."
"I still can't quite believe you're here…" he said reverently and leaned into her touch, savoring it.
"I'm here…I'm here and I'm not leaving…not ever."
For the first time in a long time he felt his body relax and muscles truly ease.
"Now, unless you live here…and if you do that is okay, I just will have to become your maid again, can we perhaps go home? I am bone weary…and I could do with a spot of tea and something to eat truthfully," she laughed.
"Oh! Indeed…yes, I'm sorry love…yes, of course we can go."
Whispers in the dark
Steal a kiss and you'll break your heart
Pick up your clothes and curl your toes
Learn your lesson, lead me home
He had been not so secretly delighted that she fit so perfectly into his home, like she had always been there, always been meant to share it with him. She had gushed happily to find his collection, recognizing the pieces she had lovingly taken care of before in the Dark Castle. She gasped in wonder at all the modern conveniences he had. He rejoiced in her every smile, her every noise of pleasure and amazement as he took her through every room of the house. His chest swelled with a pride and a contentment he hadn't known in so long as he watched her savor her simple supper of scrambled eggs, heavy with cheddar cheese – one of her favorites he remember of a life past, green peppers and red, toast and a tall glass of milk. He would take care of her this time.
"My cup…my silly chipped cup!" she exclaimed picking up the cup from the tea service he had brought before.
He couldn't have loved her more in that moment. He took it from her and held it gingerly and smiled almost sadly, "My shop, my home is filled with many, many things…but this," he gestured with the cup, "This is the only thing I truly cherish."
She looked like she might cry and leaned toward him to kiss him. "Now you've a chipped cup, a warm heart…and me." He kissed her with deep gratefulness. He did indeed have a heart that was starting warm because of her.
When finally the tour ended, supper finished and dishes put up she refused to let be, or let him take care of, they sat quiet together on the worn sofa in front of a roaring fire. He knew there was chaos outside of his walls. He knew the town was being terrorized by the destruction of the wraith but he couldn't quite begin to feel sorry. Belle would be most disgusted at this if she knew truly what was happening but at the moment…he just didn't care.
"Do you think of it?" she whispered her question so that he barely heard it above the crackle of the fire.
He didn't need to ask for elaboration, "Aye, I thought of it of often before…and every day since I, awoke," he had no better word for when he remembered his life before.
"You kissed me…after you brought magic back…weren't you afraid that it might happen again?" her voice was still soft and he strained to catch it.
He pulled her closer to him, relishing how well she fit in his arms, in his lap, curled into his chest, head tucked under his chin…over his heart.
"I am not cursed the same way here as I was…there. Magic is different here. You must have noticed my appearance is quite…different, certainly better."
She sighed, "I did indeed notice you were different. I wouldn't call it better though…and you didn't answer my question."
He leaned back, looking incredulously at her, "Darling, my skin reminded people of crocodiles, my fingernails were more talons, and my nose was decidedly more hawkish…and we won't speak of my oral hygiene."
She shrugged against him, "I didn't see you that way… And you know you filled out those leather breeches awfully well," she giggled girlishly catching him off guard. "You've always been so hung up on your appearance. I've always found you wonderfully handsome. There is also an…elegance about you."
He was baffled; "So you don't care for Mr. Gold?" he chuckled.
She shrugged again, "I didn't say that. I love you, if you be beast, crocodile, Mr. Gold or Rumplestiltskin…I just love you. But this Mr. Gold does look wonderfully…distinguished and handsome in his…suit, that is the correct term, yes?"
He smiled, "Yes, that is the correct term… I'm glad you approve dearest."
"Of course I do. I do think I shall be very confused…you've more personalities than I can keep track of. You're a man of many talents…"
He sighed, "I am many things to many people, love, and they see me as they will. To each person I represent a tragedy or a moment of weakness. No one ever calls on Rumplestiltskin, or Mr. Gold for that matter, unless they are in need of something and have no choice. Then they wager away for the thing they want most by giving me the thing they love best and call me the monster."
There was silence for a long moment and then he swore he heard her hiccup. He pulled her away from his chest to look at her, "Are you crying?" he asked worriedly. "I didn't mean to make you cry dearest…"
She shook her head, scrubbing at her eyes, "No, no…you didn't. I mean I was just thinking… Oh Rumplestiltskin," she threw her arms around his neck and held him tightly. He held her confused as she continued to cry against him.
"Sweetheart, please, what did I say? I didn't mean to upset you…"
"I was just thinking… How long has it been since someone wanted you just for you? Not for what you could give them, not for a deal, but just you?"
His brow furrowed in question. "I would have to say that the last person was you and before that…only…Bae." He stumbled over the name, feeling more things breaking inside of him; like tiny glass bottles of carefully contained emotions and feelings he had shelved long ago. His Bae and his Belle, they were the only ones that had ever loved him, had ever wanted him for only himself. Certainly not Milah, though he had loved her with all that he had. She had never loved him though; had never wanted him.
She began crying again and he chastised himself for making her weep, "Oh, I'm sorry lass, I'm sorry…I didn't mean to make you cry. Don't cry for me, I'm hardly deserving of your tears."
"Oh but I just…how lonely, how horrid…how…" she stumbled so inelegantly over her words and he couldn't help the small smile as she looked him so brilliantly in the eyes. Her face was puffy from tears and her eyes red.
"I'm not an easy man to love you know…why weep for someone so unlovable?"
That made her eyes well again and she bit her lip, "You are lovable you miserable man! You are! I've known you to be good…and you were good to me. You love your son… One day you'll tell me what happened. You'll tell me how The Dark One came to be…but not tonight. Just know I do love you. Not your things, not your name…whichever one you wear, not your power or your magic. Just you. We could live in a little hut in the middle of a forest and I would rejoice to merely walk at your side; the Dark Castle or this village we find ourselves in now…all I want, all that I love is you."
The last visages of coldness in his body, the bits of ice that had grown about his heart came crashing down around him.
"I'm sorry that I didn't think…I didn't realize before…that I couldn't understand you completely…I just…maybe I was bit more naïve than I thought…" she laughed and ran her hands on his chest.
He laughed awkwardly too, tears escaping at the corners of his eyes, "Oh Belle…my brave, darling little Belle…you are so…" Words failed the great man and so he simply leaned forward and captured her lips, kissing deeply, languidly, savoring her, worshipping her.
Spare my sins for the ark
I was too slow to depart
I'm a cad but I'm not a fraud
I'd set out to serve the Lord
But my heart was colder when you'd gone
And I lost my head but found the one that I love
Under the sun, under the sun
Their kiss stretched on and she opened her mouth to him, welcoming him, beckoning him. He let his tongue explore, plunder gently the warm depths she allowed him. It was ecstasy. She was sweeter, better, more than he could have ever fathomed.
Her hands were clutched to the front of his shirt, anchoring them. He had one hand tangled in the soft waves of her hair ensuring that she kept close, the other was around her waist, subtly tugging her body closer to his. He absorbed her heat, relishing her tiny body against his and shuddering in amazement at the joy and beauty she continued to bring his world. There was nothing greater than the feelings she lit in him. She healed her broken man and in her searing cathartic touch he was being reformed.
"Belle…Belle," he regretfully broke their kiss.
She looked dazedly at him, mouth swollen from his ardent kisses making, him shift uncomfortably as he looked at her.
"Love, I…" he hesitated to say what he wanted, "You must be exhausted. Shall we retire for the night? I showed you the guest room and I will find you something suitable to sleep in…" he rushed his words hoping to distract her from the fact he was carefully moving her from his lap.
She cocked her head, as she looked at him, eyes suddenly narrowing. "Rumplestiltskin…" she drew his name out almost threateningly.
"You've been raised from the dead for less than 24 hours; you are not in any mind or shape to be extending our…ardor. As much as I truly enjoy kissing you and hope to do so again, I am not a pure man... You need sleep and time to…recuperate. I will not take advantage of this, we need to both sleep and take things, slowly."
She smiled at him again. He couldn't remember the last time he had been the recipient of so many smiles. "Don't look at me like that, I'm trying to do the honorable thing!" he sighed.
"Rumplestiltskin…you have just spent the last how many hours trying to convince me that you are a monster but when it comes to sparing my virtue you expect me to believe you're a saint?"
She stood from the sofa extending her hand to him, "We are many things my love, and we've gone through many things…I lost you once. I will not lose you again. You're mine and I want you, I'm not tired."
He looked at her hand for a long while then slowly looked up to her face. He had missed that face, those eyes, that smile. He thought she had been lost to him for so long. His body ached for her as much as his heart did. They were made for each other. True love. The most powerful magic of all, he lost it once; he would not be the fool again.
But fingers tap into what you were once
And I'm worried that I blew my only chance
Fingers tap into what you were once
And I'm worried that I blew my only chance
Yet, here she was again, offering him her hand, again. She was giving him a second chance. A second chance to get it right, to find with her a happily ever after; though he wasn't truly convinced that beasts like him got a happily ever after. She made him hope though. She made him think that maybe he could find a happy ending; maybe…just maybe there were second chances, for love and for redemption.
He put his hand soundly into hers and he knew it was right. He was better with her. He was home with her. Together they headed up the stairs, he taking up his cane and she taking up the first watch on their hearts. There was a storm brewing outside and this would not be easy but they were going to weather it together. They would be one and this new life was young and new. He was less without her; he was lonely and cold, so cold. New breath breathed in him and he felt joy, true joy. One step at a time, one choice at a time, everything would reconcile in time he believed. Yes, they were many things…a great many things and the greatest of those things? Together, they were together.
But my heart was colder when you'd gone
And I lost my head
Let's live while we are young
While we are young, while we are young
While we are young
...to be continued
