If I Only Knew Then...
So I wasn't planning to start another story before the new season started, but this basically wrote itself. It will be a two, or maybe, three chapter story. It's pretty dark, compared to some of my other stuff, so I apologize in advance.
Disclaimer: Characters, ect, belong to ABC and Callie Khouri. I'm just borrowing.
Would love to hear what you think, so hit the review section after you read this chapter...
"That sounds good, Juliette. We can pick back up there tomorrow."
She nodded from where she stood inside the sound booth, faking a smile and desperately working to avoid meeting his eyes. She busied herself gathering her water bottle and lyric sheet before she stepped back into the room where Avery was most certainly working his magic on the song they had just laid vocals down on. She was about to start making small talk, as had become her routine around him, when Glenn and Bo suddenly appeared in the doorway.
She could tell by the look in their eyes that something wasn't quite right. "What's going on?" She could feel Avery's eyes on her, following her as she walked over to the two older men. "I drove myself over, I didn't need a ride."
"Yeah, well, you do now," Glenn said, his voice tense. "There were some letters in with your mail."
Juliette's breath caught. "Again? I thought that was over?"
"Emily found three in there today. Did you get your mail over the weekend?" She shook her head no, fighting a bit of dizziness that threatened in her head. "We've got the police working on it. They just don't have any leads."
Even from across the room, Juliette was aware of Avery's concern. She could almost feel him tense up at her bodyguard's words. Her suspicions were confirmed when he spoke out, unable to stand it any longer. "Are you talking about the guy from months ago?"
The older men nodded as Juliette finally turned and looked at him. For a brief moment, their eyes met.
"And if the letters are anything to go by, he is even more desperate now," Glenn confirmed and looked back down at Juliette. "For the time being, Bo goes with you everywhere. No exceptions. Hopefully the detectives will get some better clues this time."
"Okay," she whispered, unable to stop the slight tremble in her voice.
"Are you ready to go?" Bo asked.
"Yeah. Just let me grab my bag." She turned to face Avery as she picked up the Hermes bag from the nearby leather couch. "Are you headed out?" Juliette asked him hesitantly after her manager and bodyguard had stepped back out into the hallway to wait for her.
"I'm going to stay here and try to get a little more done on the song. You know, while it's still fresh in my mind."
She could tell he was distracted, and had been all day, but she wasn't about to push him as to why. Their relationship hadn't healed to the point where it was her business. They had settled into a routine, a professional relationship of artist and producer, as she worked on her first album for Highway 65. It was all she could ask for after what she had done. There was no reason to expect more after she hurt him. She understood that. In the six weeks since she made the biggest mistake of her life with Jeff, Avery had made himself available to her, as a producer first and a friend second. And despite the fact that she still loved him with every ounce of her being, she had no right to ask for anything more. Except she knew she would have to ... and soon. But it could wait. Now wasn't the time. "Yeah. So, I'll see you tomorrow?"
"I'll be here," he said, eyes on the notes he had jotted down while they were recording.
Juliette forced a smile to her face and nodded awkwardly. "Okay," she responded as she turned to walk away.
"Hey." The sound of his voice, filled with emotion she hadn't heard since before he found out about Jeff, stopped her cold. She turned and met his worried stare. "Be careful out there. This guy ... just ... do what Glenn said. Don't go anywhere without Bo. I ... don't want anything to happen to you."
There was a moment between them. His words felt so full of meaning she had to force herself not to read anything into them. As she looked into his eyes, she wondered if he could still read her like a book like he used to. If he could tell she was holding something back from him. She wouldn't doubt it. He'd always been able to see past the walls she put up. And now with the stalker ... and everything else... But rather than continue the conversation, he looked away, back toward the soundboard, breaking the spell. She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair as she walked out the door to Glenn and Bo.
"I miss Jay Leno," Scarlett said as she sat down in the chair next to the sofa where her uncle sat, feet up on the coffee table, remote in his hand.
Deacon looked up at the image of Jimmy Fallon on the television screen and chuckled, shaking his head at his niece. "Carson. That man was quality entertainment. All these other guys are just wanna bes."
"Well, I guess I was just born too late to understand the greatness of Mr. Carson." She sipped gingerly from her mug of cocoa. "Do you know what song Rayna is singing?"
Deacon shook his head. "Nope."
Scarlett tilted her head and studied his face. "She still hasn't given you an answer?"
"Haven't heard from her since I left her house that night." Deacon swallowed the lump in his throat. "I guess that's pretty much my answer. But until she tells me ..." His voice faded out as his emotions threatened to spill over. He looked over to see the young woman staring at him, sadness in her eyes. "Don't worry about me. Just watch the damn show. That George Clooney guy you ladies always fawn over is on next."
Scarlett shook her head at him in dismay, wondering if he would ever be able to move on. The sound of her phone buzzing on the end table pulled her attention from him. She moved to pick it up, confusion marring her face as she read the name on the screen.
"Who is it?" Deacon asked, seeing her perplexed expression.
"Avery's mama. That's weird," she said as she accepted the call. "Diane?"
"Thank God, I was able to reach you, honey!" There was panic in the voice on the other end of the phone, and the young blonde immediately felt her pulse quicken.
Setting the mug on the table, she motioned for Deacon to mute the television. "What's going on?"
"The hospital down there, um, Vanderbilt, I guess, called us. Avery's there. He's in surgery. Someone found him ..." She dissolved into sobs as Scarlett forced herself to remain calm. Deacon was suddenly beside her, obviously clued in by her facial expression that something wasn't right. "He was in a parking lot somewhere. He was robbed or attacked or something. The police didn't have many details. Oh my baby," the older woman whispered, clearly trying to keep it together, but failing miserably.
Scarlett didn't hesitate in offering help. Avery was still her friend, and the thought that he was hurt, maybe dying, scared her. "Do you want me to go there? Is that why you called?"
The older woman took some deep breaths and finally was able to talk again. "Please. I know they won't tell you much, and I know that you two aren't together anymore, but I can't bear to think of him there all alone. We won't be there for another six hours. There weren't any flights because of the weather here. So Ed and I are driving in."
"Okay, I'm with Uncle Deacon. We'll go up to the hospital and wait." The two women finished up their conversation quickly and said their goodbyes.
"What the hell is going on? Is Avery okay?" Deacon demanded, as soon as the call was over. He had already grabbed his keys and was headed to the door.
Scarlett grabbed her purse and fell into step behind him. "Somebody found him in a parking lot somewhere. He was beaten or robbed. He's in surgery at Vanderbilt."
Deacon shook his head in disgust. "Damn it." The pair jumped into Deacon's truck and sped toward town.
As the truck turned onto the main road that would get them to the downtown facility, Scarlett spoke up and broke the ominous silence that had engulfed them. "We should call Juliette. Let her know what happened. I know things are strained between them, but she should know. He would want her there."
Deacon looked over at Scarlett, only a little surprised. "Yeah. I'll do it when we get there," he said nodding.
The bleating of her phone only made her headache worse. Juliette couldn't fathom why someone would be calling her after midnight. When she had gotten home from the studio she was exhausted and all she had wanted to do was sleep, but she had struggled to calm her nerves after getting word that the stalker who had been sending her letters for months was back at it again. She thought it was over. She'd had crazed fans before. It wasn't out of the ordinary. But this person seemed ... different. More unstable. And it scared her. Especially now. As that thought returned to her mind, she sat up for fear of who might be on the other end of the line. She grabbed her phone and sighed in relief when she saw Deacon's name. That relief was short lived.
"Hey Deacon," she said, fighting the sleepiness in her voice.
"Hey." She could tell his voice was tense. Something was very wrong. "Look ... I don't really know how to tell you this, but I'm in the surgical waiting room at Vanderbilt. They brought Avery in about an hour ago." Panic rose up through her and the knot in her gut only grew bigger. "He was attacked in a parking lot somewhere. That's really all I know but ..."
"I'm on my way," she said, cutting him off and suddenly wide awake. Ending the call, she scrambled to throw on a pair of jeans and a tshirt. Bo, who had been watching TV and keeping guard in the living room heard the commotion and was immediately in Juliette's doorway. She glanced up at him as she searched for some shoes in her closet. "I need you to take me to Vanderbilt."
"Juliette -"
She looked up at him, a darkness in her eyes that stopped Bo's protests cold. "Don't argue with me, Bo. Avery's in surgery. Somebody attacked him." The burly bodyguard's demeanor immediately changed to one of concern for the man who he considered a friend. He quickly followed her to the garage.
"I can't believe this is happening," Scarlett said softly as she sat on the uncomfortable boxy sofa in the surgical waiting room.
Deacon leaned against a wall and stared out the window that looked over the hospital's parking lot. It was nearly one a.m. and Nashville looked fairly quiet and peaceful ... a far cry from the battle that he knew his young friend was fighting just down the hall in the operating room. Scarlett had spoken to his mother again who had gotten an update from a nurse. It was bad. Really bad and they weren't sure what the outcome would be. "He's a fighter," he said, looking down at his niece.
"I know," she said, looking up from her hands, which she had been wringing since they got there. Deacon watched as something on the other side of the room caught her attention. He followed her eyes and saw Juliette, looking broken and frazzled and pale, standing in the doorway with tears in her eyes. He walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her as she collapsed into him.
"How did this happen?" She asked as he lead her over to a chair near where Scarlett sat. Deacon only vaguely noticed Bo standing quietly at the door. "What have they told you?"
Scarlett took a deep breath knowing how awful the words would sound to the other woman. "The nurse in the OR called his mom and gave her an update. She called and told me that he was stabbed three times and they are working to stop the bleeding ... but he lost a lot. He has some broken ribs and a collapsed lung and there may be some mild swelling in his brain. He'll probably be in surgery for another four or five hours."
Hearing the words, the little bit of color that Juliette had in her face disappeared instantly and Deacon was seriously worried about her. He had known this would be difficult for her, but the physical reaction he wasn't expecting. She looked positively ill.
"Will he live?"
"They aren't sure," Scarlett whispered as Juliette dissolved into tears.
Deacon put an arm around her and she cried into his shoulder until she couldn't cry anymore.
The three still sat there silently a while later when two uniformed police officers, a man and a woman, appeared in the doorway. The male had a quickly whispered conversation with Bo before entering. His partner stood just behind him as they approached the trio. "Are you three here for Avery Barkley?"
Deacon took the lead, quickly responding. "Yes, we are."
"I'm Officer Carrington, Nashville PD. This is my partner, Officer Dell."
"Deacon Clayborne," said as he shook the officer's hand. "This is my niece Scarlett O'Connor. And this is Juliette Barnes."
The officer looked a little surprised, not that he was in the midst of celebrities. That was normal in the city. But he couldn't believe that the pale, sick looking woman seated beside the older man was the same woman who graced the cover of magazines and cosmetics commercials. She didn't look like the same person. He recovered quickly, nodded at them and sat on a nearby coffee table and pulled out a pad and pen from his pocket. "Can you all tell me what your relationship is to Mr. Barkley?"
Again, Deacon spoke first. "I'm a friend. He produced an album for me a little while back."
"I used to date him, but we're friends now," Scarlett replied solemnly.
"I'm his girlfriend," Juliette said without thinking. She shook her head and quickly corrected herself. "Ex-girlfriend, I mean. I don't know what exactly we are, to be honest. We're working on an album together right now. I saw him earlier tonight. At my studio."
"Is your studio on Broad?"
Juliette paused and then slowly nodded. "Yes."
"That was where he was found. In the parking lot." He looked up from the paper he was writing on and looked at her, sensing that she might be the key to cracking this case. "Do you know of anyone who would have an issue with Mr. Barkley?"
As Juliette silently shook her head, with tears again threatening, Scarlett spoke up from her seat. "No. Everyone likes him."
"I thought this was a robbery," Deacon pointed out, unsure of where the officer's line of questioning was going.
"That's what we thought initially." Officer Carrington sighed, glancing over at the other man. "But his wallet and his phone were both still in the pocket of his jacket. His keys were located at the scene. There was nothing taken and no evidence that points to a robbery. We think whoever did this had some issue with Mr. Barkley. A personal vendetta, a need for revenge or to send a message ..."
"Oh God." Juliette's eyes went wide and she felt like she was going to vomit as the realization hit her. "The letters."
The officer turned back to her. "What letters?"
She looked up at Bo who was now standing just inside the door. "Bo?!" She motioned him over. "The letters? Where are they?"
The bodyguard was immediately at her side. "We handed them over to Detective Wilson when he came to the house this afternoon."
Juliette looked back over at the officers, fighting to control the overwhelming fear that had settled in her chest. "I've been getting letters ... crazy letters from a fan ... or a stalker really ... they've gotten more personal and scarier in the last few days."
The police officer looked back at his partner. "Get Wilson on the phone," he commanded. Once his eyes turned back toward Juliette, he began to write furiously in his notepad. "If this guy is obsessed with you and believes that you and Mr. Barkely are an item, the stalker could see him as a barrier standing in his way. It would definitely create a motive."
Forcing back the bile that was threatening in her gut, she closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. "This is my fault."
"No, Juliette, this is not your fault. You cannot blame yourself for some nut job's instability," Deacon said softly, knowing that her already unbearable pain would only grow under these suspicions.
"If it weren't for me, he wouldn't be laying in that OR right now." As she whispered the words, she opened her eyes and stood up from the sofa. She moved slowly, as if in a haze to a chair on the other side of the room, where she curled up and sat down to cry. Both Deacon and Scarlett felt helpless.
"Scarlett!" Deacon heard the voice first and shook his niece's shoulder, as a frantic middle-aged female version of Avery rushed into the room. She was followed by a man in his early 60s, weathered and bound by muscles, who had clearly spent most of his life working with his hands. Nothing reminded Deacon of Avery in him, except for the steely blue eyes which were a mirror image of the young producer's.
Scarlett, who had fallen asleep an hour before struggled to sit up and immediately found herself embraced by Diane Barkley. "Diane! I'm so glad you guys made it. Have you gotten an update?"
"The nurse called a few minutes ago. They are finishing up the surgery. He made it through and will be taken to recovery. It's still touch and go. But he made it through the surgery."
"Kid's tougher than I thought," Avery's father said gruffly, in a snide way that didn't sit well with Deacon.
Diane ignored her husband's comment with a practiced countenance and continued. "They are going to keep him in a medically induced coma for at least 24 hours, because they are still concerned about the swelling around his brain," she said, fighting small tears that threatened.
The four stood in silence for a moment as the reality sunk in. Avery's mom hugged Scarlett again and while his dad shuffled his feet around the room a bit, Deacon eying the other man skeptically. Eventually, Ed pause in front of the chair where Juliette was still sound asleep, no doubt from exhaustion.
"Who the hell is that?" Ed turned back toward Deacon and Scarlett.
The young woman looked up at him. "That's Juliette. She's Avery's-"
"Oh, right. The blonde bimbo singer my son attached himself to just to get ahead in the farce of a thing they call the music business," he said harshly, eyes rolling with disdain.
Deacon wasn't sure what angered him more. The man's harsh and unfounded criticism of Juliette or his absolute dismissal of his own son's talent. He struggled to keep his mouth shut, knowing that this man, though he didn't show it, was hurting. He knew that causing a scene wouldn't benefit anyone.
Fortunately, the tension was broken when Officer Carrington stepped back into the room. Seeing two new occupants, he introduced himself, assuming correctly that they were Avery's parents. As he began to fill them in, Juliette woke up, rubbed her eyes and sat up, listening in to what the police officer was saying.
"... And now that we have the letters, we've sped up the process and are analyzing them to see if we can get a finger print or DNA sample."
"Wait. What letters?" Ed asked, staring down the officer.
Officer Carrington had thought his parents had been updated. The awkwardness in the room was palpable. "The, um, letters that were sent to Miss Barnes' home. We have reason to believe that the same person who sent those letters could be responsible for the attack on your son."
Avery's dad moved his glare to Juliette, who was still sitting in the nearby chair. Though she had been asleep when they came in, she immediately knew that these were Avery's parents. She withered back into the chair as she avoided his stare.
"So this is your fault? If it weren't for you, my son wouldn't be in there on his death bed?"
For a moment the room was still. Diane looked embarrassed, but remained silent, as Scarlett looked on in shock and Deacon seethed and fought to keep the rage inside. After a moment of deep breaths, Juliette finally dredged up enough courage to look up at him, directly meeting the same blue eyes that used to bring so much comfort. In his father, they were almost terrifying. "You can't blame me any more than I already blame myself," she said, uncharacteristically quiet in her tone. With that, she stood up and excused herself to the ladies room just across the hall.
As soon as she entered the ladies room she dove toward the nearest stall, emptying the contents of her stomach. She wasn't sure how long it took for her to stop heaving, but when she was done, she knew she wasn't alone. She heard the sink running for a moment. Seconds later a hand slipped under the stall, offering her a wet paper towel to wipe her face with. Hesitating only for a second, she took the cloth and leaned against the bottom of the stall, her legs curled up against her chest.
A thick southern accent bounced off the walls, and only then did Juliette know who the hand had belonged to. "I should have warned you. Avery's dad can kind of be an ass." Scarlett was leaning against the wall nearby but Juliette could only see her sandal-clad feet.
"No kidding," the superstar sniffled.
"For what it's worth, you didn't deserve that. It isn't your fault Juliette." Juliette shook her head at the other woman, even though she knew it wouldn't be seen. Scarlett was just placating her, but she appreciated the effort. It didn't change anything.
An awkward silence engulfed the beige tile-covered room. For a moment the two women just got lost in their own minds, neither one wanting to speak.
Finally Scarlett cleared her throat softly before asking the question she'd been wondering all night. "Are you pregnant?"
Juliette's eyes widened and for a moment she panicked. But she was cornered. She could lie about it, but what good would it do. Scarlett figured it out on her own and there was no way to convince her otherwise. It was too late. Despite the irony that the first person she was admitting it to was the woman she was so jealous of for so long, she couldn't deny it any longer. "Yes," she whispered so softly that Scarlett almost missed it.
"Were you pregnant when you two broke up?"
Juliette slowly stood and shuffled out of the stall. She glanced Scarlett's direction briefly as she moved over to the sink. "The doctor said I'm a little more than eight weeks along. So it happened about two weeks before ... before everything ... before I destroyed it all."
"Does Avery know?" Scarlett asked, with sadness, not judgement in her voice.
"Not yet," Juliette whispered, realization suddenly hitting her, causing her heart to shatter even more than it already was. "Oh, God. Now he may never know. I didn't tell him." As she looked at herself in the mirror, she saw nothing but shame and fear as she once again dissolved into tears, as the reflection of the other blonde faded into fuzziness in the mirror.
"I didn't tell him," she repeated through her sobs.