The man bat peered despairingly through the metal bars. Through the grim haze of sewage and sweat he could see a meaty, macho man clad in a sheep-skin sarong and a steam-punk gag.
'OI! BANE! LOOKING HOT!' batman leered through a soggy maw, hi gruff voice, the sound of a drill boring into an iron man ricocheted through the mysterious and smelly cavern.
Bane looked up and winked saucily at the dark knight, beating his pectorals like a ferocious king-Kong trying to attract a mate. Bane's brainwashed cronies hoisted the pulleys, opening the door for the Dark Knight to waft in and meet the almighty Bane.
"Hey, have you got a Band-Aid?" rasped Bane in his brooding Sean Connery drawl, "Because I scraped my knees when I fell for you!" He chuckled like a perverted Santa.
'Oh, Bane!' his failed Attempt to sound flattered sounded even gruffer and gravely than usual. He stepped onto a bridge that floated to meet Bane. He stepped off in a series of fireworks.
'I like to impress you, Bane.'
Bane fluttered his eyelashes and pulled off his fuzzy ram-skin toga to reveal a skin-tight vest and thong that showed off his best assets to their full advantage.
'I can match that brother!' and then Batman unzipped his corseted suit to reveal a flame retardant all in one that was as tight as a second skin. Even his body hair was visible.
Bane raised his eyebrows, seriously impressed. "You HAVE been working out!" he noted, his masked voice squealing like a radio with interference in his delight at the dark knight's attire.
Batboy stepped forward and flicked bane's nose, an instant turn on for the sexy terrorist.
'Ooer Mr Batboy' Bane chuntered seductively, gripping the ManBat around the waste with his gigantic spade manos.
"No time for this!" batman screeched, plunging his hands into Bane's leather crocheted mankini. "There are chains about! Time for some BDSM!"
'is that a Gary Oldman down there or are you just pleased to see me? Baterringram purred like a deranged lioness, taking a tighter grip on Bane's flies and undoing them to reveal an endless reel of rainbow streamers.
'Magic trick! You like?' Bane roared at his own joke, spit blinding his bodyguards, who suffocated instantly.
"Yes! I like!" Battenberg purred, licking his lips. "But not as much as I like THIS!" the virile vigilante pulled back his hand and thumped Bane in the buns, making the burly criminal hoot with pain and pleasure. Bane gurned and reared as he struggled to return Fatman's sassy advance.
BatMale hurled bowl of cornflakes at Banner, who belly flopped to the ground, causing fire hydrants in the city to explode.
Batman chuntered with joy, his seven chins rippling like a dead body discarded into a pond. "You're such a charmer, Banter!" he rasped, struggling to disguise his voice in the depths of intimacy. Bane honked his agreement and moved round to tackle Bantam from the rear.
'RUGBY TACKLE!' Bnae slammed into BatPoo who squealed and was plunged 3 feet into the ground, trapped underneath the vast bulk of his lusty lover.
"Let the games begin!" Bean roared into a megaphone, plunging his manhood into the "bat cave".
Butterball released a sound like a harpooned whale, and Bnae's remaining bodyguards were blasted by the sonic boom. Few survived.
Boon chuckled heartily at his assistant's demise, his laughter echoing around the dank cavern like a droning missile. "We ARE initiated, aren't we, Bruce?!" he cackled, tearing Boatman's mask to shreds to reveal the hard-core harlot's true identity : Balloonaire recluse, BROOS WHAIN!
'Oh Boulder!' This pleasure is even better than I received from my BUTLER!' BeanCan erupted gleefully as Ernie frotted against him once more.
"And you pleasure me better than my mentor, RHAZZ AL GOOER!" Ned shouted, pummelling Bromance's buttocks to dough.
'Oh Boar, how about we give this event- he roared suddenly as Bernard thrusted again-'some audio quality?' BatBloke clicked his fingers and a tremendous brass brand burst into an incredible song, banging their drums to the beat of Boar's frantic thrusts.
"What a cracking brass band!" Bone applauded. "I love concert music!" he waved to the conductor 'who gave a great wave of his wand, causing the tubas to crescendo into a sublime melody of honks that sent Bane to the climax.
The almighty baying and screams of beret made Meatman's eardrums burst, spraying bat blood all over the brass band, that still continued their mighty crescendo as the two banging cowboys reached the end of their fantastic gurney.
The overweight duo pulled away, still panting from their passionate workout. Bramble stared at his buns, which were red and raw after Sharon's powerful assault. Despite his excruciating pain and hernia, he had never felt happier. Here he was, lying in the muscular brazos of the man he loafed, Bran.
'Oh, Ozzy, that was so much fun.' Broad breathed in BroomCupboard's sweating face, filling his flared nostrils with the pong of used tennis balls and overcooked mash.
Boris cradled the emancipated body of his true love, Prince Herring, in his crotch, tenderly patting the crime-fighter's woolly hat.
'Fred, I have never experienced such an impressive band, an atmospheric arena and an almighty BANGING as I have received here. With you. Now kiss me you macho beast.'
Fireworks lit up the Gotham skyline as the dainty superhero's lips met with those of the frothing brute.
Breaking form their french kiss, Brandybucket looked out on Goatherd city with love in his eyeballs
'This is our city babe, it's all ours!'
Roberto clapped his massive hands in delight at his BF's inspirational quote, causing the structural supports that were holding up the cavern to shatter.
The veiny roid-ragers fell to their untimely termination, splatted on the pavement like a fisherman's crotch.
In the afterlife, the pear was shot up to live amongst the stars, blessing Gormill with their message of love for all eternity.