The Simpsons
Fate dealt in school
CH.1: Innocence
Bart Simpson was a 10-year-old boy doing what he loved to do, cause pranks and in the process get a good laugh out of it. Sitting in Ms. Krabappel's class, he waited for the right opportunity to pull the prank of a lifetime. Seated next to him was his blue haired best friend Millhouse; who looked worried; as usual. "Bart I don't think-."
"Millhouse…that is the point," Bart pointed out, "if any thought went into this I'd be a genius. The last thing I want is to be a nerd like my sister. Now…you in or out?"
"I…I…I'm in," Millhouse smiled weakly. There was no point in fighting it, he was after all Bart's best friend. The two of them had been through a lot together, so, why let him get all the glory…and detention by himself.
"That's the spirit," Bart grinned and watched his teacher flip through a magazine forlornly. "Now…if all goes as planned, our teacher will use a rather noisy chalk. Several times, she will use it to no avail. She will dismiss herself from the class, and then we wait. According to a source of mine, if she isn't back in 10 minutes…we're free to leave-."
"Bart…who's your source again?" Millhouse wanted to hear one more time, as he was sure in the back of his mind this wouldn't work.
"Do you doubt the word of your leader? Trust me, I won't steer us wrong this time." Bart turned to look ahead and noticed Martin Prince giving him a dubious look.
"Pardon the interruption, but, that rule only applies to-." Nelson jabbed Martin in the arm and he squealed. "That was uncalled for Nelson-."
"Like I care," Nelson laughed, "all that comes out of your mouth is smart this and smart I don't care that. You wonder why you're picked on, sheesh," Nelson smiled politely at the teacher and waited for the bell to ring.
"All right class," Edna Krabappel began, "last topic yesterday was on the exploration of Luis and Clark." Picking up the chalk she ran it along the black board and heard a loud screech. The class held their ears and she practically dropped it.
"Phase one," Bart rubbed his hands…though it was all he could do to avoid holding his ears. The chalk left but one grimy line, not even a whole fat one; to which the teacher scratched her head.
"Well, let us try this again." Something is not right about this chalk, she thought, and if I can't write on the board…I'll be stuck facing them…and him. Running the chalk again…the same result…and this time she dropped the chalk.
"Sometimes I marvel at my ingenuity," Bart waited and just as he predicted, with one chalk, there would have to be a reason to leave the class.
"Well class, seeing how I got a lousy chalk, it is only imperative I get another. So, till I return, Martin is in charge." I need a smoke, she thought as she fled the room.
"Well class…as Ms. Krabappel was talking about," Martin rose from his desk with an air of authority, "we were on the topic of Luis and-."
"Butt munch," Bart smiled. The class burst into laughter and Martin tried to keep a straight face. Phase 2 is underway, Bart observed, now all I have to do is get my plan out to the students.
"Now Bart, that wasn't very nice now was it? As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, we were on the topic of Luis and-."
"Stinky pants," Bart once again called with a laugh. The whole class was in their seats laughing and Martin's skin turned a rather tomato like red. Twiddling his fingers innocently he watched Martin place his hand on the desk; a imitation of their absent teacher.
"Bart…you keep up this…cruel prank and I will assign you detention," Martin smiled matching eye contact with Bart. Bart was a nuisance to those who wanted to learn, that being the case, if he could take him out then they'd all fall into place. The only problem with that was that Bart, in all flaws, raised confidence in those he talked to. Many generals in history had at least one Bart; the fact he made it to fifth grade, well, it made this that much more difficult.
"Alright…that does it," Bart climbed up on his desk and made sure everyone was staring up at him. "I was going to wait a little longer, but, Martin high and dorkish has pushed me to my limit. I heard from a reliable source that if the teacher isn't back in 10 minutes we're free to go-."
"That's preposterous," Martin folded his arms and shook his head, "there is no such thing as that, though, in college that rule stands. You leave this class now and you'll have detention for sure." Now to see who will stand and who will fall, Martin thought, and clearly the ball was in his court.
"I'm going…any who wish to join me will be much appreciated." Bart raised his hand and marched down the aisle to the threshold of the door. The absence of footsteps made him turn his head in dumbfounded stupidity.
"Um Bart…I change my mind," Millhouse sank his head onto his desk and knew this was stupid. Yet, in all honesty, detention meant he would miss another recess. Too many a recess did he miss on schemes he chimed in on.
"Millhouse…this is absurd," Bart felt desperate, his voice rose up a pitch and his eyes were filled with panic. To not have Millhouse by his side meant others would not take him seriously.
"There you have it Bart," Martin sighed, "even your best friend has turned against you. Admit defeat now…and I'll consider withdrawing the detention." The students had their eyes trained on Bart and silence stilled the very breath from the room. A fly buzzed around lazily and Bart could feel the mounting pressure.
"Ha…you can eat my shorts Martin! To think I'd have a cow and give in from minor power like yours is a hoot. I'm going to get out of here and enjoy my freedom-."
"Pray do tell Bart…what freedom is that?" Krabappel stood in the doorway with her arms folded across her chest. There was hardly any amusement in them and the class let out a murmur.
"The…freedom I'll get from detention with you?" Bart smiled weakly and began to back into the classroom. Martin held in a victorious yell of triumph and clasped his hands at the small of his back instead.
"Now, seeing how there will be no more interruptions, let us resume-." The bell rang shrilly and Krabappel rolled her eyes. "Very well, you can all go and revel in your recess activities." Not that I care, she thought, for being that young is far past me these days.
"I guess that leaves us two," Bart smiled weakly. The class was emptied and Bart was left to stare across the room at his teacher. Why did it always have to be him? Did she have a vendetta against him? Bart pushed a pencil back and forth and watched as his teacher, his guard, kept watch from across the wooden desk. "Can I use the-?"
"No…you may not," she smiled politely. Hard to smile when I got this ulcer sitting right across from me. For as long as I can remember, this kid has been a constant thorn in my butt. Every prank imaginable he has done, and every bell ring…I have him to thank for me being here. To be single and living in such a way, my parents would be so proud, she mused.
"Can I…look out the window?" This is my chance, Bart thought, to slip out while she fixates on her magazine.
"Let me answer that with this," Krabappel approached the windows and closed each one; making sure the lock was slid snugly in. Walking back to her desk she smiled at him. "Now you can go look out the window."
"You know…what is your problem?" Bart crossed the room and pointed an accusatory finger at her. "I am the only one ever in detention, and I am the only one to ever get on your radar of questions. Answer me…why are you doing this to me?"
"You should seat yourself right now," Edna warned, "or I shall see to it you will have detention long after your done here." No one has ever challenged me like this, she thought, nor have they had the nerve to yell from the front of my desk.
"Oh really? And who gave you that authority huh? Let me guess, it wouldn't be Luis and Clark now was it?" Bart climbed up onto the desk and knew he had passed the point of no return. This was sacred territory, a part of the teacher's property that would enable him a life time supply of detention. Still, in all fairness, she had this coming for a long time.
"You test my patience Bart," Edna stood up and stared at her student. "If you would only set goals and apply yourself…we wouldn't be here right now-."
"Do you think that is easy? I want to have fun, let loose, do stuff that make me feel alive. Studying and what not just isn't my thing. Do you even know what it means to let loose?" Bart challenged inching closer to her.
"Ha, I do so too. Life is about letting loose, and when I was young, I did things that you wouldn't dream about." Keep eye contact, she thought, the closer we get…the sooner he'll break.
"Oh right, like sitting in classrooms and doing book reports!" I don't even deem it on the possible radar that my teacher was ever loose. She is bent and a smoker, plus, she dated the principal.
"Ha, I was a wild child and a born rule breaker. I invented the gum on the teacher's chair." I can't believe I told him that, she thought, still…it can't be taken back now.
"Yeah…and pigs fly." Bart laughed and heard his laugh mixed with his teacher's. There was a moment of silence where both just stared at each other. I…I feel very hot, he thought, is it because the windows are closed? Without thinking, he leaned in and kissed his teacher on the lips.
Edna was just containing her laughs when she felt him kiss her. Panic and wrongness filled her mind, but, having not been kissed in a long time she gave in. While the kids played outside…detention was getting hot.
Authors note: Hope you enjoyed. More to come with Edna and Bart so stayed tuned and don't change that channel.