Dominance In A Relationship

There was a comptetion on a website a few months ago asking people to explore the relationshis of two twilight couple. I was too late to enter but I thought I would share my entry with you

Enjoy!

A dominant person can be defined as the person that exercises the most influence or control in a relationship. Adding to that, a dominant person naturally tends to hold the balance of power. In relationships, the dominant person is looked to for leadership, responsibility and strength. Generally, they assume the role of the leader and protector. To have a dominant person, generally, the other person is described as submissive. The submissive person is said to allow the partner to enslave them, or would be said to make themselves fully available to the other person. Of course this is open to interpretation and most definitions of a dominant and submissive person changes from individual to individual.

When defining which person would be dominant, assumptions are made due to gender. Normally, the male is said to be the dominant partner, therefore the female would be said the submissive one. This is not always the case but, as I said before these are general assumptions made by many that can change from relationship to relationship.

Alice and Jasper

Alice and Jasper share a rather unusual history, even under vampire circumstances. Alice became a vampire around the 1920's and was changed at the age of 19. Unlike the other vampires in the Twilight Saga, Alice never knew the vampire that changed her and also had no memory of her life or the change. This is highly unusual in the vampire world because, and Alice had said, for most people, the change is unforgettable – the pain is what is unforgettable for most vampires. Alice is described as being very small (about 4'10'') with pixie like features. She is said to have short, spiky black hair and is originally from Mississippi. Alice possesses a special gift that allows her to see the future and it was this gift that led her to find Jasper.

Jasper was changed by a vampire called Maria in 1863 at the age of 20. Jasper was a Major in the army during the Civil War and was used, by Maria, to train the vampire armies that she was creating. Jasper is described as having honey blonde hair and being 6'3''. He is also described as being muscular but very lean. Jasper wanted to find a way to feed without killing because he could feel the emotions of his victims. These emotions were hard on Jasper and led him to leave Maria and her way of life behind. Jasper also possesses a special gift that is similar to that off an empath. Jasper can feel and manipulate the emotions of those around him. After walking into the bar/café type place, Jasper noted that he felt something that he hadn't felt in a long time, he said and I quote, "For the first time in almost a century, I felt hope."

There are many ways in which Alice and Jasper's relationship can be defined. Most of the words mean the same thing but there are many that can be used. True love. Soulmates. Corresponding pieces of a puzzle. What they all really mean is that they are meant to be. And, personally, I believe that, not just in the relationship between the two of them, but I believe in the concept of 'soulmates'.

Alice and Jasper are the perfect example of such a principle existing. They are opposite people that just belong together, to put it simply.

On the topic of dominance and strength, Alice and Jasper appear to have a pretty equal relationship. Alice appears to have the strength that Jasper needs to keep to his lifestyle and Jasper appears to be the strength that Alice needs. Although never said, or not said as far as I can remember, I think Alice needs Jasper to keep her grounded, I suppose you. With the visions that Alice had, it must be hard to understand them and not to go 'crazy'.

As said above, a dominant person generally takes on the role of the protector. Now, it would be hard to choose which person would take on this particular role in this relationship because evidence had been presented that both take on this role. The first example of this is given in New Moon when Alice and Bella are on there way to Volterra to try and stop Edward from 'committing suicide'. Alice is seen to be lying to Jasper on the phone about making sure that she gets out alive. On the phone to Jasper, Alice finishes the call with "Don't follow me. I promise, Jasper. One way or another, I'll get out... And I love you." And after putting the phone down she then says "I hate lying to him". She then goes on to explain that she is protecting Jasper because there is a chance of a fight, that they cannot win.

Now, the second example is in Eclipse where Jasper ends up getting bitten because he was rushing around trying to make sure that Alice had nothing to do during the newborn fight. Bella isn't present during this scene so there is little description but it is mentioned by Edward after the fight. Now, due to the little description given, this act doesn't seem very protective but, at least in my mind, it's still an act that could lead to him taking on the role as protector. Jasper naturally has a protective nature, or that's how I read it, and therefore I would be inclined to side with him when assigning the role of protector with in the Jasper and Alice relationship.

Jasper is naturally a leader and has experience with being responsible for a number of people. He was quickly promoted within the army when he was human and is very good at leading the fight training sessions within Eclipse. So, again I would have to side with Jasper when assigning the role of leader and responsible person, even though it is not particularity shown within the relationship he is clearly the better leader and most responsible person out of the two.

So, with the examples given it would be easy to say that Jasper would be considered the dominant person in the relationship but I cannot be conclusive on this. Having a dominant person means that the other is considered submissive and Alice cannot be defined as that. Alice does not submit herself to Jasper. She's a headstrong girl and if needs be could easily fill the roles that I have given to Jasper. Being as this not really needed in the book, you never get to see a side like that of Alice. Again, I go back to my brief point that Alice and Jasper share an equal relationship and therefore I would be reluctant to assign them roles on a permanent basis. I think that Alice could be the dominant partner one day, and Jasper next but I would never describe either of them as submissive.

Carlisle and Esme

Carlisle and Esme came together under the most normal circumstances of the four main couples. Esme and Carlisle first met when Esme was 16 years old in Columbus, Ohio, after she broke her leg. At this point Carlisle and Esme did not fall in love but Esme is said to have "never got over the experience" of meeting Carlisle. Carlisle had to leave Columbus as he was 23 and trying pull off being 35 years of age. Carlisle moved to Chicago, where there was a Spanish Influenza out break. During this outbreak Carlisle met the Masen family. The father, Edward Sr, died first and then Elizabeth died. But, before she died she asked Dr Cullen to save her son in ways "others cannot". Loneliness leads Carlisle to change Edward, therefore saving him from dying of Influenza. Edward and Carlisle then moved to Ashland.

At the age of 22 Esme had decided to live a solitary life style because she couldn't find a man to fall in love with. Her father disapproved of this lifestyle and pressured her into marrying Charles Everson. Esme agreed to this, hoping to fall in love with him over time. She was very wrong and Charles turned out to be abusive. She sought out help from her parents but they told her to be a good wife and go back to him. Esme found temporarily relief from the abuse when Charles was drafted to fight in world war one. When he returned he was even more terrifying than before. When Esme fell pregnant she ran away – refusing to bring a child up in a home like that. She eventually moved to Wisconsin pretending to be a war widow and she began teaching to support herself. She gave birth to a son who, unfortunately, dies a few days later of a lung infection. This leads Esme to jump off a cliff, near Ashland. She was then taken to the morgue where Carlisle found her and remembers her from his previous experience with her. He then senses a heartbeat and decides to change Esme to save her. They fall in love and Edward becomes her adoptive son, as do the other vampires that Carlisle changes over time.

During the series Carlisle and Esme's relationship is not at the front of the story, therefore you don't get to see much interaction between the two, as a couple. By using actions they have shown towards others in the family you can build up an idea about there character that can be transferred to defining a dominant personality and a submissive personality.

As said before a dominant person is considered a leader and throughout the saga Carlisle is often referred to as the leader of the Cullen family, or the Olympic Coven as they are sometimes referred to. He obviously possesses the talents that a leader would need as he has managed to control his family for almost 100 years. During the scenes in which we see Carlisle as a leading figure, you don't hear protest, especially from Esme. She always seems to agree with Carlisle. This suggests that Esme has more of a submissive side therefore leaving the dominant role open for Carlisle to feel. This is open for interpretation because Carlisle's plans may not need to be disagreed with and in the books the plans are good and appropriate for the situation. So, again, it would be hard to assign the roles of submissive and dominant persons. Also, I don't think that Carlisle likes to see himself as the dominant partner or generally a dominant person. Even though he assumes the role I do not believe that he uses it to any kind of advantage. I believe that he likes to see himself as equal to Esme, and everyone else for that matter.

During the time the Esme was brought up, women were taught to be submissive people in relationships. They were meant to do what the husband said. They were meant to make themselves available, in the physical relations and in the general relationship. Also, Carlisle was brought up in a time when the male was considered the person who would bring home the bacon. The husband was the leader of the family, he was considered the protector. This is why the gender assumptions are still made today. Men and Women from the time of Carlisle and Esme would have been considered outsiders if they didn't fulfil the roles they were supposed to play.

Lastly, and this may be a stretch to draw this conclusion, but the amount of control that Carlisle exercises over his thirst is so strong that I think it shows how much control Carlisle could exercise over other situations if he needed to. The strength that Carlisle possess goes far beyond that of the strength that Esme or the other Cullens possess. He defied his natural instincts for so long that he know has the strength to be around human blood and be completely immune to the effects of it. This strength must be transferable, at least in my eyes, therefore leading me to draw the conclusion that Carlisle is the most dominant person in his relationship. Of course this is a hard conclusion to draw because of the little action we see between the couple but after building up an idea about there general character you can assume that they would takes these roles on in a relationship.

Disclaimer - I have no claim on any characters or anything mentioned about Twilight. I merely enjoy reading it, over and over.