For my faithful follower Lenail125

BIRDS FLYING HIGH, YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL

(Sam is thirteen, Dean is seventeen.)

Chapter 1.

It's fall. Finally. North Carolina's heat is punishing, to put it mildly. Dean's spent whole days staked out on the Arizona flatlands but that dry heat had nothing on the muggy hell of the Carolinas and their swamps and grasslands. Every breath felt like taking in weighted molecules to his body, made him pant and feel faint where anywhere else he'd only be on his first wind.

Sam hated it. He ran even hotter than Dean. His shirts plastered to his body by sweat 24/7, his hair dripping with perspiration, long bangs sticking to his forehead and giving him pimples Dean teases him about. Dean finds Sam in nothing but his underwear studying away under the ceiling fan more often then not.

Sam had gone back to school early August when the air was so hot and thick that his older brother doesn't even know how his brain is still functioning. Dean opts out on his last of high school and buys a GED study book from a thrift store instead. They aren't going to be here for much longer. And for once Sam is just fine with that.

The boys will never look back with longing to their seven months spent in North Carolina...except for maybe those few days on the beach, that had been awesome. Though they almost got kicked off for the fire they had built. (Dean grins all teeth at that memory...Sammy was a teenager now and they got up to endless, rebellious no good together.)

Now the air grows cool, hinted with the scent of molting leaves and the boys can hardly believe this is the same place. The roads are lined with stands selling pumpkins and squash and Indian corn, the boy's favorite little cafe starts selling pecan pie on top of their usual apple and a pumpkin spice coffee that the Winchester boys, without fail, begin their every day with.

Thanks to his small salary, Dean takes Sam to the rinky dink county fair and buys him a caramel apple, because even he knows that red stuff is terrible for your teeth. He follows Sam around letting the kid get the excitement out of his system.

Now that the cool was here Sam's energy is back in full. His eyes sparkling with mischief and intelligence once again...the last stop of the glorious day is a little cabin that serves the best apple cider at the fair, or so they say.

The sun is gone, the evening growing pretty chilly and the stars begin to come out brighter than they've been in a long time. Sam is shivering as Dean comes back with two steaming cups of cider and they both sit backwards on a picnic table with their backs leaning against the table top.

Sam flashes him his sweet grin and wraps his scrawny fingers around the warm stirofoam cup, holding it up so the steam hits him full in the face. He sighs along with a moan of satisfaction as he lets the hot liquid into his mouth and run down his throat. Dean smiles down at him as he sips his own...if Sam was cold you know Dean was freezing.

Graceful as ever Sam nearly drops the flimsy paper cup on his next drink and sputters as the cider drips from the sides of his mouth and down is chin onto his jacket.

"Shit." He hisses, shaking his hand to ride it of the sticky, sweet drink that had got on his skin.

Dean raises a brow at the curse word but says nothing, simply sips again from his own cup. "Need a baby wipe?" He asks casually.

Sam flashes him the bird scowling as he takes another drink, chokes because it's too hot and he took too big of a swallow. "No thanks MOM."

"Just making sure sweetie." Dean shoots back effortlessly and Sam shoves him.

Dean catches himself from falling from the bench but snorts the hot, spicy drink up his nose. He jumps up coughing, laughing with Sam until he comes to sit down again and stomps hard on Sam's toes.

Sam yelps and Dean smiles sunnily down into his frown, "Oh sorry about that little bro. Couldn't see your minuscule foot there."

"Ugh." Sam huffs, rolling his eyes. Gives up and instead just concentrates on not making a mess while he drinks.

The silence sits between them comfortably, as they watch the bright lights and the people still milling about happily. They are contented. A good day finishing up with a good ending. Dean knows all to well that's usually when it all goes to shit.

He shakes off the uneasy feeling and simply watches his little brother out of the corner of his eye. He's been trying to dial back on the whole watchful eye thing since Sam's birthday and the kid has become more aware and independent...or he thinks he has.

He complains Dean hovers too much and watches too much, making him feel uncomfortable around his friends. Though what friends he's taking about Dean's not sure. He thinks of the month they've been here without their father, and it's been good. A vacation they both needed, even though Dean's had work and Sam's had school, but John was a force all his own. With him came an intensity that kept Sam and Dean tense like wires.

That told on a kid after so long. And Dean had liked how much lighter and carefree Sam had come to be just within weeks. He himself knows what it's like as a child to be forced to bear burdens no kid should have to, and god, he wanted to bear as many of them for Sam as long as he could.

"You're doing it again." Sam states.

"Huh?" Dean asks, breaking from his thoughts.

"You're doing it again," Sam reiterates, only sounding slightly peeved. "Thinky starey, big brother stalking thing you do."

Dean clears his throat covering a laugh. "Sorry."

Sam shrugs. "You're also trying to feel bad about missing dad, it's not working."

It's Dean's turn to huff and roll his eyes. "Whatever, you wizard."

"Pfft." Sam laughs. "You can't hide anything from me Dean, cuz you let down that cautious thing you do when we hang out."

The kid is so frustratingly, adorably, astoundingly smart.

"I can stop if you want."Dean says softly, thinking maybe seeing all Dean's fears and doubts, and undecided feelings towards their dad might be too much for Sam.

"Nah." Sam says, looking off into the lights of the fair. "It's okay. That's the way it should be right? I'm your brother."

"Yeah." Dean agrees, wrapping an arm around Sam's neck and pulling him in for a hug. Sam fights him, glaring at Dean when he ruffles his hair. Sam smooths it back as he pulls away from Dean and sits straight again, sighing deep.

"Thanks for today, Dee." He says softly, not looking him in the eyes. "It was good."

And those three words might not mean much to regular people but when one of the boys say it it means something special. Because days that are simply 'good' are few and far between. It's the highest of compliments and warms Dean's heart through and through. He looks down to Sam with a genuine smile shaping his lips, reaching his eyes making the green flash and twinkle.

"It was good." He returns. The Winchester brothers finish up their cider looking up to the stars, little do they know they are shaping a habit that will last the rest of their lives.

...

Dean can hear the phone ringing through the door when he and Sam get back to the apartment. Dammit. That would be their dad. And he'd be pissed at not being answered. He hurries with his keys, ends up dropping them, they stand listening to the last ring and it goes silent just as Dean turns the key and the door swings open on its creaking hinges.

"That was probably dad." Sam, ever helpful, supplies as he walks into the apartment and dumps his backpack on the couch before going into the bathroom. Dean hears the shower running almost immediately, and the older Winchester sighs at the thought of a hot shower right now.

"Thanks for the moral support, Sammy." He grumbles through a wry grin because it's exactly what he himself would of done.

Instead he rubs his nose in attempts to get some warmth back into it and stalks towards the phone. Dialing their father, readying his ears for the tearing of a new one. It's only one ring before the phone is answered.

"Dean."

"Dad, hey."

"Where were you?"

"Just out walking with Sammy."

"It's Sam, the boy's thirteen now Dean."

"Yes sir." Dean answers.

"I thought I told you boys to stay in at night."

"Yes sir, you did." Dean assents, closing his eyes and shaking his head, don't say it, don't say it. "But we can't stay cooped up all the time, we just wanted to get some fresh air...the ventilation in this place is crap."

"You have a roof over your head." John states severely. "What would have done if you and Sam had been jumped or if a vamp had attacked you out of nowhere or if..."

"I would have handled it." Dean says firmly, and he and John both feel the conviction in his statement.

John grunts grumpily.

"So listen up." John demands, "I'm in Washington state on a vamp gig." Ah, that explains the vampire attack comment. "I booked you boys a flight for tomorrow morning at 10:30. Pack everything you can fit into your duffles and come on. Give my name at the desk and they'll have your tickets."

"A flight?" Dean asks vaguely, totally blindsided by the turn of events.

"Yeah, like on a plane." John supplies drily.

And Dean swallows thickly. "Why don't we just drive, me and Sam could knock it out in a just a few days."

"And you have a car." John states sarcastically and Dean grips his fist anger.

"I would if you hadn't taken her!" He bursts back.

"Dean, you know the truck was screwed up from that last hunt, there was no way around it."

"I don't want to fly, dad."

"Tough luck." John returns flatly, Dean's obvious anger and discomfort meaning nothing. "Don't miss it, or I'll be pissed and I mean pissed for real...Dean?!"

"Yeah yeah." Dean grumbles, "We'll be there...Sam's not gonna be happy about leaving he just started school."

John laughs, "He's a thirteen year old boy, when is he happy?"

Dean doesn't take to that view at all. Each person should strive for happiness, you yourself should strive for happiness for the people around you...especially your family regardless of their age. He runs a hand over his face, fingers around the corner of his suddenly dry mouth.

"We'll see you soon."

"Don't forget to return the key and let the landlord know you're gone."

"Yeah." Dean answers non committedly and hangs up.

He's screwed. So screwed, screwed right up to the sky, he laughs in the poor taste of his joke.

Dean hates heights always has...he's never taken the time of self exploration to completely trace it back to one event. He doesn't like being afraid of things. This brutal terror that paralyzes him at the mere thought of flying was a terrible weakness. Something that could cost he and Sam their lives someday.

Perhaps it was because of the way his mother died, the fire starting in the upstairs room...he can see it plain as day. Running out the front door with Sam in his arms and into the front yard, looking up to the second story and seeing the windows burst out, shattering as the flames licked out of the room and out the window.

Her screams of agony ripped through the stillness of the night and filled Dean's mind with terror and confusion. He tried to covers Sam's ears who had started crying, tried to spare his baby brother...he listened until finally the screams turned into barely discernible hoarse sobs when she couldn't scream though shredded vocal chords anymore. It took nearly a full twenty minutes until the boy realized his mother wasn't coming out...

Now that Dean is older he knows she had suffered the worst of deaths. Had felt the flames burn and boil her flesh and blood away until she was nothing but charred bone and ash that blew away in the morning wind. Yeah, that could easily be where his aversion to heights and flying started.

There was no control up so high, in a tin can up in the air vulnerable to any attack...he shivers at the unpredictability of planes and flying. Dean believed in what he could see and feel, what he could shoot, stab and kill...he was a protector. But up there? He was powerless, he was just as vulnerable as everyone else.

Sam comes out of the bathroom, hair wet and skin pink, goosebumps rising in waves as he struggles into pajama pants that are sticking to his wet skin. "What did he want?"

"You're not gonna like this..." Dean starts.

Not anywhere as much as me though...

...tbc

Here we go guys! Can't wait! Poor Dean:(:(:( REVIEW!? ;););)