My inspiration for this story is very much indebted to the author of the fantastically written 'If Only You Could See What I See' by FrogsRcool. It really made me realize just how severely lacking FanFiction is of stories pertaining to Brittany's point of view. She is by far the more interesting character in terms of what might be running through that mind of hers. Not to mention in recent weeks on the television show, our poor Britt has been basically silenced. So I'm excited to get into her head, and tell a story from predominantly Miss. Pierce's point of view. And just so we're clear, I am in no way comparing my story to IOYCSWIS, because that would be ludicrous. That fiction is a magnificent masterpiece that my lowly story could only aspire to be as great as. Let me know what you think and whether it is worth continuing! Chels xo
Chapter 1. Love; A Definition
There's hundreds of different ways to love a person. I know this because I love hundreds of different people in a special way every single time. I love Rachel, even though she's completely crazy and kind of annoys me. I love Finn because he loves Rachel. I love Mike because he can dance as good as me, if not better. I love Tina because she's confident, and not afraid to show her true affections. I love Artie because he loves me, but not in the way that Mike and Tina love each other. We're just friends. At least that's what he is to me. I love Blaine because he is in love with life. I love everything and anything I can, and even if sometimes I fail, at least I know I've tried my hardest to love them the way they should love themselves.
Some people don't see when they should love, and that's tricky. I see people hurt themselves over and over again because they missed their chance to love. It hurts me to even see things like that. But I try not to think about it because there are plenty of opportunities, they just don't know it yet. I'm lucky because I know when to love. Sometimes I think I love too much, or at least that's what Rachel says. I usually don't reply but I always think that maybe the problem isn't loving too much, but not loving enough. I don't think Rachel's loves enough. Then again I think Rachel is a really hard person to love, but that doesn't mean I give up on her. I just have to try harder to love her is all.
I think she sees me trying to love her sometimes. She gives me these weird looks like I should be getting back to work, or stocking the shelves. I don't really care what she thinks of me loving her. She's lucky I do because a lot of people don't. Love her, I mean. I sometimes wonder if people even like her, although I just shake my head and say it doesn't matter. I should love her regardless, even if she constantly restacks my shelves after I'm done. Finn's nice though. As much as Rachel's lucky to have a guy like him, I can see reasons why he's lucky to have her. She takes such good care of him, and always fixes up his mistakes before the manager can see them. It's kind of like what she does for me, but she doesn't love me the way she loves Finn. They're in love.
I used to wonder what the difference was. One day I built up the courage to ask Tina. She had this totally glazed over look in her eye. I could tell she was thinking of Mike. She didn't really say anything useful. I just drew the only conclusions I could and continued counting my inventory. The difference between loving someone and being in love with someone wasn't just the touching and feeling, the kind Mike and Tina often did between aisles, it was more than that. It was the way they looked at one another. As though they were seeing each other for the first time. It kind of scares me that Artie used to look at me that way. Not anymore though. I had to have a word with him. I could tell the kind of love he had for me was different to how I felt about him. I love him, I do. But learning the difference from Tina, helped me explain to Artie that I wasn't in love with him. He was nice about it. I think he was kind of taken aback. Usually girls don't talk about those things with guys. Or at least they don't address them the way I did. I probably surprised him because I'm so quiet all the time, but he still seemed to understand and now we're even better friends than before.
I remember when I was hanging clothes that people had tried on and didn't want, Blaine had decided to help. He said that it was his forte, but I didn't understand how a bunch of clothes could be his fort a. Actually I didn't really understand why he called his fort 'a' instead of 'b' for Blaine. It was all a bit confusing for me but I figured he would explain eventually. He didn't. But what he did say was that it was so good to see that me and Artie could still be friends. He compared it to Rachel and his experimental date, but I didn't really see how the two could be compared. It wasn't like I was gay and not attracted to guys, it was just I wasn't attracted to Artie that way. Which was probably worse now that I think about it. I wonder if that's how Artie thought of it? I hope not. I don't think he did because we're still really good friends.
Blaine's really nice, and super happy all the time. I get along really well with him. Out of all my coworkers, I think he see's the real me more than the others. It's not because I don't like them as much, or because I like Blaine more. I think it's just because we're kind of similar. I'm really outgoing normally, but I'm just shy in group situations because I don't have much to say and it always ends up coming out stupidly anyway. It kind of makes it hard to be really good friends with someone. Especially when they have to break through the barrier of my intellectuality. I don't think all my work friends mind. In high school the kids used to mind. Even though I was on the Cheerios, which was the name of our Cheerleading team, I was never really close with anybody. I never even had a best friend. Mum used to think I was bullied, and once she even went into the Principals Office and demanded he do something. There was nothing to do, which I later told her afterwards. She got angry at me for not opening my mouth earlier. Our grade was eventually sat down for a bullying speech. I felt guilty but then I saw the positive side to my mess. At least the kids that were getting teased could get help. I guess I was kind of one of those kids. I mean they always used to say mean things about how stupid I was all the time. It wasn't like I cared, but it still hurt. I didn't end up seeing the Guidance Counselor, she was weird. And she made us read pamphlets that were designed for elementary school.
Thinking of Ms Pillsbury made me think of my manager, Mr. Schuester, or like he prefers to be called, Will. He's really nice, and he's engaged to Ms Pillsbury. He actually owns the huge department store we work in. He named it Schue's Super Store. It's really popular and all the employees love working hear. I like working here, which is another thing I love I guess. Will's really nice and helpful, and he never gets too mad when I make mistakes, which is good because it happens almost every day. He also doesn't take advantage of his shoppers, and prices things fairly. Sue's Super Store doesn't, I guess that's why its bankrupt now. Will actually mentioned to me that he was going to buy the department across town. That way he could control the entire Lima district. We worked in the Central Lima store, but if he bought Sue's then he would also have a store in Lima Height's adjacent.
It all went over my head when Will talked business with us. I mean I found it interesting but I just got lost with all the tactics of controlling sales. It was like memorizing lyrics. I find it impossible because there is just so many different words to consider. Rachel would usually pull me aside after we had a meeting and explain everything that had been discussed, but then Artie sometimes spat words like patronizing in her direction. I didn't know what that meant but it didn't sound very nice. The staff meeting we had today was no different than they normally were, except Will had some big news to announce. I wasn't really listening to begin with. Partially because I didn't understand what he was talking about and partially because I knew Rachel would fill me in after. However that all changed when he mentioned Lima Heights adjacent.
My head snapped up, and I'm sure it surprised Finn because he looked kind of startled when I started paying attention. Actually listening to what Will had to say made me realize I did understand what he was talking about. I nodded along with everyone when he told them about Sue going bankrupt and how it was terrible but it was a humongous opportunity for Schue's Super Store to branch out into a franchise. We'd been discussing this the other day and I suddenly felt a wave of confidence wash over me as he continued to inform the rest of the staff.
"So I said to Emma, I'm gonna buy it," Will enthusiastically shared, the entire room a commotion of gasps and whispers.
"So you bought it?" I asked merrily as everyone turned to me. They all looked confused that I'd spoken in a meeting but Rachel just looked angry.
"Wait, she knew?" the small brunette turned back to face Will. He looked at her for a moment, not sure how to answer before shrugging and nodding sheepishly. I wouldn't blame him if he had just lied. I knew what it meant to receive a look like that from Rachel, and it was not good.
"As of today I officially own two Schue's Super Stores" he announced and all together we cheered and clapped, congratulating him. I was super happy for Will because he had mentioned it earlier this week and also because he works so hard to keep his store number one in the Lima district.
"This is so exciting" Finn nodded with approval. Rachel glared in his direction though, which was kind of mean. He looked really happy for Will and as did everyone else. Except Rachel.
"What does that mean for us, Mr. Schue?" she always said his name in a professional way. It made me cringe every time I heard it. He wasn't Mr. Schue to me, or anyone, he was Will.
"What do you mean Rachel?" Will asked, not quiet sure at what the brunette was referring to. I was confused too so I just sat and watched, waiting for Rachel to answer like she always did.
"Are you just going to forget about your first store and focus on the new one? Are we just going to become yet another causality in this department store war? Because if so I refuse to stick around while you let the Central Lima store flail in your absence" I didn't understand half of the words she used, but I was pretty sure they were bad.
"Don't be ridiculous Rachel, you yourself said the next move would be to branch out, and I have. Nothing will change here, I promise. Nothing other than a few roster changes and maybe the transferal of employees between stores" everything had sounded great up until that had come out of his mouth. Even my jaw was hanging wide open. My Mum used to tell me never to be so rude as to let my jaw drop but now that it was, I found it really hard to shut it again. Everyone was shocked. Even Blaine seemed to have a problem with the news.
"How could you do this to us Mr. Schue?" Finn's tone was sad and disappointed as we all awaited an answer. I had to agree with Finn, how could he expect us to just transfer between stores? We had the perfect team of staff here? Plus we all worked well together and liked each other. I was sad and disappointed too.
"Look guys, at the end of the day it will be beneficial to both the company and you. I don't intend on making any cuts to Sue's staff, which means you guys will be making a bunch of new friends" the way he was trying to sell his idea to us didn't sound very fun. I had enough friends here, and every time I'd been into Sue's Super Store, her staff were mean. There was a boy with a Mohawk. I didn't like him at all. He made fun of me when I couldn't find the soda. It wasn't my fault their store wasn't properly stacked. He wasn't polite at all. I just hoped that I wasn't one of the ones Will wanted to transfer.
"I know that it seems like a big step, and it is. For all of us. I love you guys, and I wouldn't ask this of you if I didn't think it'd work out well. I've seen the way Sue trained her kids, its nothing like the customer service that you guys provide. If I divide you between stores, it'll be much easier for them to pick up on everything that makes you the most valuable employees" there was a sparkle in Will's eye that told me he was right. Will was always right. Not only was he my boss but he was also really smart, and he knew what was good for us.
"I'll go" my mouth blurted before I could stop it. Again the entire room looked in my direction as though I'd said a cuss or something really bad.
"That's what I'm talking about," he smiled brightly at me, I couldn't help but smile back "do I have any other volunteer's?" his eyes narrowed on the rest of his employees.
"You have me Mr. Schue" Finn spoke up, giving off the goofy grin he usually does when he knows he's doing the right thing. Will leaned across the table and offered his hand in appreciation. Finn took it enthusiastically and shook it. He then turned to Rachel, who had crossed her arms in protest.
"I'm not transferring, I refuse" she held firm, the energy around the room depleting a little. Not enough for Finn to notice though, and he turned to his girlfriend.
"Come on Rach, it'll be good for Mr. Schue's business if his best employees show the others the ropes" Finn tried to convince her. Having seen that expression on Rachel's face before, I honestly didn't think she would give in. But eventually with all eyes on her, she threw her hands up in the air and agreed.
"Fine, I'll go" we all cheered once more.
Walking out of the staff meeting, I couldn't help but think about why it was I felt so strongly about Will's business venture. I guess it seemed like the right move, and the way he had explained it really simply for me the other day made me know it was going to be successful, but there was something I couldn't quite put my finger on. Maybe it was because of the way that everyone had first reacted to the news. It made me feel as though somebody had to prove to them that this was right, and if Will couldn't do it, then maybe I could? When I thought about it a moment longer, I knew it had nothing to do with proving my friends right or wrong. It was that word again. Love. Will had said he loved us and that's what made me feel as though the idea of transferring wasn't that scary. Plus, I now had Rachel and Finn to look out for me. I wondered if I would have to work with that mean boy with the Mohawk? If I did I'm sure I could just tell Finn that he was being rude and he'd do something about it straight away. I guess it didn't matter too much now anyway. I'd already said I would transfer, and even though the idea of leaving behind my friends and workplace made me nervous, it also excited me.
Actually, thinking of it now, I needed to get some things on my way home. Lord Tubbington had started pooping on the carpet again, which was probably because of his strict diet. I think it's his way of saying he doesn't like the food I'm giving him but it's for his own health. He needs to lose weight or else I'm going to lose him, at least that's what Rachel told me. I believe her though, she's usually right about all those really clever things, and Lord Tubbington was really fat. He definitely needed to lose some pounds. It was proving to be a messy process though, and that gave me the idea of getting my carpet cleaner from Sue's Super Store. Technically I wouldn't be cheating on Will, even though I knew he'd never see it that way if I did by something from there. He owned it now anyway, and If I did that, I could possibly see the people I'd be working with. Yeah, that sounded like a good idea, I thought, smiling and nodding to myself.
I quickly made my way out back to the staff locker room and opened my combination lock. I had a whole heap of junk in my locker that was probably rubbish. I was a bit of a hoarder. I couldn't help it. You never know when you might need something, and I hated needing something after I'd thrown it out. It made me upset then angry that I hadn't known I would need it. Rachel always said that my locker was a disgrace and that if Will saw the way I treated work property, I'd be fired. I didn't believe her though, I think she was just trying to scare me into cleaning my stuff, which I never did. Everytime I opened my locker though, I'd catch her glaring in my direction. I knew she didn't approve but it wasn't her locker so she didn't need to worry.
My hand fumbled amongst the mess for a few seconds before I found what I was looking for. Tshirts and denim shorts were my favorite type of clothing. I never understood the girls that dressed in all those crazy expensive clothes and complained that they weren't comfortable. I just bought what looked great and felt good. Today I would wear a simple grey hoodie over my tshirt because it was actually quite cold outside. Once I was changed I shoved my dirty work clothes into a handbag slammed the locker door shut. It closed with a bang and surprised Artie, who was still out back. The others had left and I hadn't even noticed. I hated when I didn't get to say goodbye to everyone before they went home. Just incase something happened between now and tomorrow.
"I was surprised you volunteered to transfer Britt" Artie looked up at me from his wheelchair. I watched him push his glasses up the bridge of his nose and couldn't help but smile. He looked kinda cute when he did that. I almost wanted to lower myself down to his level and give him a big bear hug.
"Yeah, I'm totally excited" I told him honestly. I was nervous before but now I just wanted to meet the people I would be working with. I got like that sometimes. I dreaded stuff I didn't know about but then when I was done being nervous, I just got excited.
"Well have fun then" he offered a small smile and shrugged, turning his wheelchair around and wheeling away. I had the feeling that he was kind of upset that I'd chosen to transfer. But it wasn't a permanent move, and I would see him again so I just ignored his sad behavior and walked out of the staff locker room.
Artie had a way of making people feel bad for him without there being a real reason. He did it to me all the time. I know that he is in a wheelchair and everything, even I understand that but I didn't get why he was always so down. It actually annoyed me sometimes. I mean I like Artie and everything, and I love him as a friend but I can't always be around him. If I was I'd spend all my time thinking up ways to help him that were probably too stupid to actually do anyone any good. Once I suggested getting Artie some crutches but as soon as I said that, Tina had elbowed me. Something about being insensitive and not going there ever again. I didn't really get what she was hinting at but I never mentioned it to Artie. He is a good guy, that's why I love him, but he isn't a good friend and I can see why he wasn't a good boyfriend to Tina either. He cares more about his own happiness than others.
When I arrived at my car, I immediately stopped thinking about Artie and his problems, and began to get excited for my trip to Sue's Super Store instead. I wondered who I would meet, and if they'd be nice. I was trying hard not to think about the Mohawk boy because he really was mean, and I didn't want to think that everyone who worked there was the same as him. After all they couldn't be. But I had heard stories that didn't make them seem very nice. Once, Tina had gone to get a costume for Halloween, and she'd been told to leave the store because she was already wearing a costume. I had to admit I didn't get what was so mean about that. Technically she was in a costume, especially when she had been going through her Goth phase but I guess that wasn't the point. If I were ever that rude to a customer, I'm sure Will would fire me. Or at least make me take inventory, which was a kind of punishment. Numbers got all confusing when they were higher than 50.
I can't remember what Tina said her name was, but she'd said the girl had been a blonde. I was blonde too so I wondered if we would get along? Probably not, I'm not that mean to people. Maybe it was a once off, or maybe she'd just been having a bad day. I got that way to sometimes, especially when I was grumpy. Rachel had a way worse story than what Tina had shared. Apparently she was singing in the aisles while shopping, and out of no where one of the employees just walked up beside her and totally started singing over her. I'm not exactly sure if that story was true or not, especially since it was Rachel telling it but she had definitely seemed disgruntled so something had happened. She said the girl had been wearing a necklace that read 'Mercedes' but I thought that was a weird name. I wouldn't name my kid after a type of car, so I found it hard to believe that somebody else would. I knew a Mercedes was a brand of car because my grandparents drive one. I think their for old people though. At least the car always smells like old people when I ride in it.
Driving through Central Lima, I was glad my car wasn't an old persons car, and I was super glad it didn't smell old either. That would suck. I drive a black Jeep Wrangler. Mum said I could choose any color I wanted so I chose black, that way my car could be ninja at night time. Its super nice and nobody has the same car in Lima so people will know its me when they see my car driving places. Not that I want people to know its me. Now that I think about it, that's probably dangerous because strangers could follow me but I didn't care. I loved my car, although Its hard to drive sometimes. Dad told the salesman to give me a manual because it could serve as a challenge. All the gears just confused me. I didn't always know when the right time to change them was and it probably would have been better to get an auto. I didn't mind though, my car was awesome and it got me everywhere I needed to go.
Finn once told me that I ride my gears. I didn't really get what he meant but I gathered it wasn't good. He said if I ever had any trouble I could always bring my car into the Hummel Autoshop. It was the only time he ever mentioned his stepfather. He even had a step brother named Kurt but he never talked about him either. I liked the name Kurt. Before I knew it I was turning into the car park of Sue's Super Store. I couldn't wait to get inside but first I had to find a park. This was going to be so much fun.