The COW-Boys Meet the Righteous Outlaw, a wild west c.o.w.-boys of moo mesa fanfic

The C.O.W.-Boys Meet the Righteous Outlaw

Both the Fab 5 and Nickelback Nathan had become household names on Moo Mesa, as many of their enemies had been turned in by Marshal Moo Montana and his cowboys. The folks of Moo Mesa were more than happy to see these two groups, and in Hicksburg, Texas, home of the Fab 5, their townsfolk were always obliged to welcome Moo, Dakota, and Cowlorado. But this time, it was Nathan's turn to introduce the terrific trio to his home of Glenn View Springs, Arizona.

Glenn View Springs was a small town of about 5,000, and unlike Moo Mesa, which adapted the true culture of the Wild West in spite of being in a modern world, Glenn View Springs was a mix of past and present. The town's exterior still looked like 1878, but on the interiors of a few buildings, it was obvious that the real current year was 2008. Miss Jamie Curtis, the town bartender, for example, had a vintage player piano that did not work just for nostalgia, but also in her saloon, she had a jukebox that played jazz, rock, and country hits from the 20th Century to the present. Also, transportation in that town was that of a typical Western town, with stagecoaches and horses, but for those that needed it, an ATM was stationed outside each bank.

When Moo and his posse arrived, Cowlorado made the comment, "Well, there's our proof. It ain't really 1878 like it feels back home."

"These modern conveniences and gadgets are a welcome addition, but the folks of Moo Mesa just don't have time to learn how to use them," Moo replied. "We chose to live the true life of the Old West and we're going to stay that way. It's a bit like Amish people and how they will not confirm to the modern world, but that's a whole different story."

"Now why did Nickelback Nathan call us here?" Dakota asked. "He didn't even say why!"

"I don't know, Dakota, but we'll soon find out. There's his house right over there." The cowboys rode on towards Nathan's house. When they got there, Dakota spotted Nathan checking on some of his crops with his neighbor and best friend, David Jamison. (David became friends with Nathan after he stopped the bullies from picking on David based on the false assumption that because David's father, George Jamison, was—at the time—the town's most wanted outlaw, David would grow up to be one as well. When Nathan told the bullies to cut it out or otherwise he would tell their parents, they abandoned the act.)

"There he is," Moo announced. "Hey there, Nathan!" he called after whistling.

"Howdy, partner," Nathan greeted with a smile on his face. "Glad y'all made it down here."

"So are we," said Moo. "What seems to be the trouble?"

"Well, there's two troubles, if y'all considered them both troubles," Nathan replied. "One of them is that there enemy of mine, Bully Dawggerson, who's escaped from jail. He's done gone and tried plantin' dynamite in all them banks this town has. He's made millions out of it."

"And the second trouble?" Cowlorado asked.

"It ain't really a trouble in my mind," David replied, "but it's a mystery. Nobody knows his name, but it obviously ain't 'Bandit Bryce' Burton of the Fab 5, and it ain't that WARCAT character either. There's a tiger who dresses in only black. Black hat, black shirt, black belt, black boots, you name it; it's black. The only things ain't black are his guns and his lariat. Nobody ever found out his name. They just call him the Righteous Outlaw, because while he seems to be an outlaw at first glance, he obviously fights for the law, like the Lone Ranger."

"He shares the Lone Ranger's moral code, too," Nathan added. "Not sure if this here Code of the West y'all live by says them things as well, but there's three basic rules to his there code: 1) no shootin' to kill, which is why I don't carry no guns; 2) no booze in the saloon; and 3) hands off them ladies."

"Wow," Moo thought aloud. "Now there's a cat of moral character. Yes, those things are in the Code of the West. It also says, 'Never try and solve a mystery about one you can't tell who is good or evil. Let him solve it for you.'"

"Which is he more likely to do?" Cowlorado asked. "Fire his guns at you or hog-tie you with his lariat?"

"He uses them interchangeably," Nathan replied. "Also, he calls his horse 'Thunderbolt,' so bear that in mind."

"Yup," said Dakota. "Will do."

Nathan and David saddled up and joined Moo and his posse on their way into town. Along the way, Tom, Luke, and Colton joined up, and Moo told them why he was in Arizona. Miss Jamie waved hello to the group of eight as they passed by.

Suddenly shots rang out as Nathan caught sight of two horseback riders approaching. The townspeople took cover as he pulled out a pair of binoculars. "Yup, that's Bully and his gang up to them dastardly deeds of theirs again," he announced. "And that other one is that there Righteous Outlaw we spoke about earlier."

"Let's rodeo, boys!" Moo called. "Yippie-eye-oh-ky-ay!" everyone shouted as they rode off towards the chase scene.

The gunfire was as expected from Moo's point of view: when Bully fired at the Righteous Outlaw, the Outlaw fired back. Neither one ever got hit.

"Darn it! I can't get that varmint off me!" Bully grunted.

"You can't get away from me that easy!" the Outlaw called. "I'm taking you to jail and that bounty to the bank!"

"First you have to catch me!" Bully called back, firing again.

"Moo! We gotta help him out!" Cowlorado called.

"Head him off at the pass!" Moo cried as the gang split up. Nathan and his posse went left while Moo, Dakota, and Cowlorado went right. Dakota, using his brute strength, threw a large boulder at Bully in an attempt to sidetrack him if not take him out entirely. Although he missed, the impact of the boulder as soon as it hit earth shook Bully enough to throw him off course. This gave Nathan and the Outlaw ample time to rope him up. Meanwhile, Cowlorado joined David and Nathan in roping up the dynamite Bully would have used on the First National Bank of Glenn View Springs. Tom, Luke, and Moo all pointed their guns at Bully as soon as he fell off his horse and landed in a thorn bush.

"Ouch! I bet that smarts!" the Outlaw commented as he straightened his cowboy hat. (Note: that was his catchphrase.)

"Lock 'em up, Dakota!" Moo called as he turned around to catch a full glimpse of the Outlaw. Dakota went on and escorted the hated canine crook to jail, although he had to have Luke show him where he is. The others followed at a distance.

Crowds who gathered to see the sight after Nathan gave the all-clear cheered for him, his group, Moo's posse, and most importantly, the Outlaw, for being on top of things the whole time. Miss Jamie, not wanting to be rude, invited them for lunch at her saloon, and everyone sat down at a few tables close to the counter where her bar was located. Since she didn't serve sarsaparillas like Miss Lily did, everyone ordered sodas such as Diet Mountain Dew. As the group walked in, they ran into Butch and Spike, two of Bully's former gangsters who never actually turned rouge, but joined his gang to save their lives. (They found an escape route with Nathan's help.)

"So you are the famous Marshal of Moo Mesa they call Moo?" the Outlaw replied at Moo's first comment. "This is the first time I've met you in person. And I appreciate the help, too."

"Glad to be of service," Moo replied. "So, they call you the Righteous Outlaw, but what's your real name?"

"Wish I knew," the Outlaw sighed. "Among the crimes Bully Dawggerson is guilty of is stealing and burning my birth certificate. He also murdered both my ma and pa, so I taught myself how to speak, read, write, and all that. So basically, I'm a cowboy without a name. They call me the Righteous Outlaw because it was once debatable whether I was really an outlaw or a hero, since I can easily serve both sides. I suppose that's why I'm wearing black."

"I'm sorry you don't know your own name," Cowlorado replied sympathetically. "Wish there was something we could do to help you discover it. Then again, you not having a name might make a bigger legend out of you."

"Yup," said Dakota.

"Maybe," said the Outlaw. "The biggest cause of frustration in this town is not knowing your own name, let alone, the side of justice you are fighting on." He paused to take a sip of Diet Pepsi, then noticed Butch and Spike. "Hey, aren't you two of Bully's gangsters?" he asked.

"Not anymore," Butch replied. "We actually never turned evil. We just pretended to be in order to save our lives. Like you, we are the masters of double agency."

"I see," the Outlaw nodded.

"How'd you know about Bully wanting to plant dynamite in the bank?" Dakota asked.

"When I was making my morning ride around town to make a deposit, I caught a suspicious sight, as well as a customer screaming for help. When the customer mentioned dynamite, I figured it had to be Bully. He's been using it for years. Now we also have Randy Raccoon, who has used dynamite on oil wells so he can steal it, but to no avail. He's been trying that since he was a kid. He'll just never learn. He's not so much of a threat as Bully is, and the Sheriff's having a hard time keeping him inside jail."

"We've been catching him in the act some of the time," Colton put in. "He's never going to quit."

"Well," said Moo, "it's a pleasure meeting you. If any of your natural enemies ever attack Moo Mesa, we'll be sure to give you a call."

"And I'll be there," the Outlaw promised. "I'll be there faster than you can say, 'Call out the cavalry!'"

THE END

NOTE: This is the very first time I introduced the Righteous Outlaw to my lineup, and thus this marks his grand debut. Also, I wrote this in 2008, but forgot to re-upload it until now.