Rating: M for language and yaoi

Warnings: If you have a problem with yaoi DO NOT continue to read

Pairings: HijikataXGintoki

Summary: Hijikata and Gintoki run into each other at the movies and somehow wind up sharing a seat to watch "The Life of the Poor and Ugly", the hottest new horror film. Hijikata manages to get aroused from a few... less then modest actions by a half-drunk Gintoki, and gets dragged into a bet which he may not emerge from totally unharmed.

Kid's Shouldn't Go to R-Rated Movies

"Oi, oi! What do you think you're doing?" Gintoki called out to the figure standing in front of him. "You're holding up the line!"

The man turned angrily. "What line, you bastard! There's only-" his eyes widened in surprise, his voice trailing off.

Gintoki smirked. "Fancy meeting you here, Hijikata-san."

Hijikata swore. Dammit! Why did he have to run into this sugar-freak now of all times? His movie was about to start anytime now! "Listen, you silver-haired bastard." He hissed, "Leave me alone, I have business here, got it?"

Gintoki picked his nose. "Yeah, sure you do." He grinned, a sadist expression spearing on his deadpan face.

"Hey, Okita-kun!" Gintoki shouted across the line, receiving irritated glances from other people.

"Yes, Boss?" Okita answered from behind Hijikata, causing him to jump in surprise.

"Oi, Sougo! What the hell are you doing here!" Hijikata demanded, his eye twitching. "If you're here to mess with someone go away! Now!"

Okita glanced at him, smirking. "Says the guy who almost raped my sister." He said loudly. People started muttering and shooting glances at Hijikata.

Gintoki laughed, patting the sadistic Okita on the head. "Thank you. Did I mention he also tried to rape Kagura-chan too?"

At this point, people were starting to stare, and Hijikata ground his teeth in frustration. He was going to kill Sougo and Gintoki for this!

Glaring at both of them, Hijikata pushed his way through the crowd, spilling his mayo-covered popcorn as he went.

Gintoki smirked. I wonder why it's so fun doing this? He pondered for a second, and then dismissed the thought. It was the same with his other "friends", so he didn't bother questioning why he and Okita enjoyed it.

Gintoki stepped up to the counter. "A sundae please."

The man behind the counter gave him a disbelieving glance. "Sir, this is a movie theater. I'm afraid we don't have-"

Gintoki frowned and drew his wooden sword. "Are you sure you don't?" He asked again, in a dangerously soft tone.

Sweat trailed down the man's face and he shuttered. "I'm sure we can work something out."

Gintoki placed his sword back on his hip. "Good." He stated.

Okita smiled. Boss was always so fun when he was sugar deprived.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"Move it!" Gintoki said, pushing people out of the way, making his way to his seat.

Gintoki stared at the man sitting in his spot, annoyed.

"Oi, Mayora! You're in my seat!" Gintoki muttered angrily to Hijikata.

Hijikata glanced at him disbelievingly. "Excuse me, you bastard? This is clearly MY seat."

"I did not wait five hours in a line to get tickets to this movie just so I could find a mayo-freak taking up my chair! NOW FUCKING MOVE." Gintoki growled the last part.

Hijikata looked at Gintoki, surprised. This was his first time seeing him this angry. Remembering what Gintoki could do with a sword, he shuttered and reluctantly retreated.

He raised his hands. "Come on, Gintoki. Why don't we just share the seat? I mean we both came here like respectable men right? Now let's just act like some, okay?"

Gintoki glanced at the seat, raising his eyebrows. "Fine." He seethed, sitting down next to the dark haired man.

Hijikata gave an inaudible sigh of relief. He wasn't scared or anything, he just wanted to protect the theater from harm... right? Right?

The lights dimmed, and Hijikata became aware of Gintoki poking through his sundae with a spoon, making soft clanging noises.

"Shut up." Hijikata hissed, turning his head until he mouth was positioned by Gintoki's ear.

Gintoki shivered. "Stop doing that, it's annoying." He demanded.

Hijikata saw Gintoki place a candy cherry into his mouth. Watching as the silver-haired man sucked and twirled it in his mouth almost sensually, Hijikata realized what he was doing and turned away quickly. What the hell was that? Hijikata demanded of himself.

Gintoki reached blindly across Hijikata, searching for the napkins. Hijikata inhaled sharply as Gintoki's hand brushed his lap, his stomach tightening.

"Oi, Mayora." Gintoki whispered. "You okay?"

Hijikata sighed. "Yeah, I'm fine." Dammit, he was not fine, and he knew it.

Relaxing a much as he could, he leaned back and watched the movie. He was aware of Gintoki's leg rubbing his as he frequently shifted positions.

A lady behind them screamed, scared by something in the movie. Startled, Gintoki dropped his sundae, only to find it spilled on Hijikata's lap. Hijikata cursed. Why his crotch of all places!

"Sorry, sorry!" Gintoki murmured, bending over to examine his spilled snack.

"What are you doing?" Hijikata asked, not daring to breathe.

"Don't worry about your pants, Mayora. I'll wipe them up, 'kay?" Gintoki told him softly.

Hijikata snorted. "Yeah, fine. Whatever."

Gintoki started to rub the dark-haired man's pants, trying to clean them. Hijikata groaned softly as Gintoki rubbed his crotch. Gintoki paused and looked at him.

"What's wrong? Gotta piss or something?" Gintoki demanded, smirking.

Hijikata glared at him. "Fuck off. Just clean them already." That sugar-freak had no idea what he was doing to him, did he?

After ten minutes of rubbing the pants clean, Gintoki looked up, smug. "There you go, Hijikata-san. All clean and dandy."

Hijikata didn't look at him. He had closed his eyes, trying to keep his face composed. Hijikata's eyes flew open as he felt Gintoki lean on him.

"What the hell?" Hijikata hissed at him.

"I'm tired and some-what drunk." Gintoki muttered. "Piss off."

Hijikata gave a breathy laugh. So figure. As long as Gintoki didn't see his erect member, he was fine.

Gintoki hummed. "Now, now, Mayora. What do we have here?"

He placed his hand over Hijikata's crotch, rubbing it slightly. Hijikata jerked up in surprise.

Gintoki laughed softly. "Oh? Hijikata-san is having dirty thoughts!"

Hijikata groaned. "Stop it you bastard." He muttered, closing his eyes. He heard Gintoki snicker, and heard his fly being undone.

"What the fuck-" Hijikata started, beginning to rise. Gintoki pushed him down with one hand, holding him there.

"Come on now, Hijikata-san. Behave." Gintoki chided softly. Gintoki's hand reached inside of the dark-haired man's pants, and stroked his manhood softly. Hijikata groaned, moving his lower half closer to Gintoki's hand. Gintoki slowly rubbed its tip. Hijikata jerked again, this time in pleasure.

"You bastard." He ground out.

Gintoki gave Hijikata a heated glance. "I never said I was nice," he stated, moving his hand faster up and down Hijikata's shaft. Hijikata grunted, feeling a familiar tightening in his stomach.

"Gintoki," He groaned softly, "Stop you bastard, I'm gonna cum."

Gintoki turned and gave his neck a long lick, pressing his mouth up against his ear. "You do that, Hijikata-san." Gintoki whispered, his warm breath tickling Hijikata's face. Strawberries. Hijikata thought absently. He smells like strawberries.

"Stop it." Hijikata said weakly, trying to push Gintoki away. "There's people watching..."

Gintoki laughed. "Your body doesn't seem to want to stop. And anyways," he leaned closer and whispered, "what people?"

Hijikata gave a startled glance around the room. He could've sworn it was packed just a minute ago.

"But-" He protested, looking around again.

"Shut up." Gitoki said, leaning even closer.

"They were-" Hijikata tried again.

"I told you to shut up." Gintoki growled, his pupils dilated with lust.

Only a sadist like him would get turned on by this, Hijikata thought. Wait! Does that make me a machodist? He realized in horror. His mind went blank as Gintoki leaned towards his face, a few centimeters from his mouth.

"Time for your punishment then." Gintoki chuckled darkly.

He gave Hijikata a long, heated kiss. Hijikata's mouth open in shock. Gintoki used that chance to shove his tongue into his mouth, rubbing it against Hijikata's. He moaned against the silver-haired man. Gintoki grabbed Hijikata, pressing him closer into his hard chest. He felt a shutter run through the dark-haired man and pulled away.

"Now, now, Hijikata-san. We can't have you Cumming now of all times. Gintoki snickered. "To think all I had to do was give you a hand job and kiss you."

"Fucking sadist." Hijikata spat angrily. "I wasn't going to cum!"

"Oh?" Gintoki raised an eyebrow. "Do you want to bet on it? First person to cum loses."

Hijikata glared at him. He could tell the silver-haired man's intentions weren't pure, but he was sure as hell he wasn't going to lose to him.

"You're on."