Disclaimer: Not mine
A/N: If you do not like Draco/Hermione fanfiction, I don't care. Stop reading this right now, so I don't have to hear you tell me off for it later. Second, real conversations are not short and to the point. They are not carefully edited so only the basic, essential stuff is left. They just happen, and random things are said. They can drag on. That is why this story is long. Because I was trying to make it like a real conversation, which isn't perfect. Thanks, sorry for my slight rant.
BTW, Hermione's half of this conversation is in italics. Draco's is in regular print. Tried to make it easier to read.
"Do you hate me?"
"Should I hate you?"
"I don't know. How about you? What do you know?"
"Stop talking in riddles, woman!"
"Stop calling me woman! Honestly, how many times-"
"How are you doing this?"
"Doing what?"
"Making me…Oh, I don't know."
"I thought you knew everything."
"No. You know everything."
"Well…."
"Stop it."
"I'm not doing anything!"
"Whatever."
"Why do you care what they say?"
"What are you talking about? You really are crazy."
"Why do you care what they say? Why does it matter?"
"They don't control me, if that's what you mean."
"It's not what I mean."
"Oh."
"Why should it matter?"
"Why should what matter?"
"Everything."
"Everything matters."
"Why does it matter to you what they say, think?"
"About what."
"Everything."
"You don't make any sense."
"Thanks."
"How do you do this to me?"
"Do what?"
"This- this- weird feeling."
"I think that may be actual attraction. Maybe more than just physical attraction."
"Don't flatter yourself."
"Spare me."
"And don't give me any of this love crap either."
"What love crap? We're not old enough to love. At least not each other."
"Sure…."
"Why don't you just take me out, spend a few months with me 'dating' and then you can dump me and I can cry into my pillow while I listen to break-up songs?"
"Because….I don't want to."
"Take me out? Or dump me?"
"I'm not sure. That's the problem!"
"Maybe it shouldn't be."
"Maybe that's the point. It would be so easy to hate you."
"But you don't."
"How would you know?"
"I just would."
"I could hate you for that."
"You could try."
"Why can't I hate you?"
"I know. It's so hard. You could hate me just like the rest of them. But you don't."
"Damn you. Do you hate me?"
"I don't know. That's the problem."
"Don't mock me."
"I'm not sure if I am."
"Can you be sure?"
"About what?"
"I don't know."
"Hypocrite."
"Oh, shut up."
"So? Why not take me out? See how it goes?"
"Because then you'll be just like one of them."
"One of whom?"
"The other girls I take out."
"So? Aren't I just another girl?"
"No. You know it too, don't you?"
"Know what?"
"That you're not just another girl."
"Maybe."
"I hate you sometimes."
"But only sometimes."
"I'm supposed to hate you."
"And I'm supposed to hate you."
"But you don't."
"Nor do you."
"God, that's annoying."
"Why do you care what we're supposed to do? My friends have gotten over it."
"Yeah, well, you know my friends."
"So? Just pretend I'm one of those girls."
"They'll notice that you're not. They may have already."
"OK. So don't take me out. Fake it. Pretend you don't like me."
"Right. And you do what?"
"Be that lovesick girl who pines away after the incredibly popular and good-looking guy."
"You think I'm incredibly good looking?"
"Hmmmm…..You're right, that may have been going a bit far."
"Funny."
"I thought so."
"So we pretend?"
"You pretend."
"What do you mean?"
"You pretend you don't like me, aren't attracted, pretend that you hate me even, like you're meant to. And I'll pine away in my corner, thank you very much."
"I don't love you."
"You've never loved me. Always hated me. Does it make you happy to say that?"
"No."
"Then why are you?"
"Because. I'm supposed to."
"Uh-huh."
"Why don't you care?"
"Good question. Maybe for the same reasons you do."
"Damn you."
"One of your exs warned me."
"Really? About what?"
"She said you weren't worth it. Because you had no emotions."
"I don't."
"I think maybe you do. But you just do a really good job of hiding them."
"Maybe."
"Yes."
"You don't make any sense."
"Maybe you don't."
"Don't be stupid."
"You're the one without any emotions."
"I thought I just hid them?"
"I'm not sure."
"Right."
"She warned me not to get caught up in you. At the time, I wondered why she was telling me, of all people. Like I could relate."
"She was smarter than you thought."
"She is smarter than I thought."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"There's another girl who likes you."
"Which one?"
"That one girl who says she's known you well for years."
"Is she just saying it?"
"How would I know?"
"I thought you knew everything."
"Very funny."
"So, she likes me."
"She confided in me, of all people."
"That was silly."
"Maybe she doesn't know."
"About what?"
"This."
"Don't you mean us?"
"No. There is no us."
"Should there be?"
"You tell me."
"You love me, she likes me."
"She's prettier."
"You're cuter."
"She's known you longer."
"I think you know me better."
"Only think?"
"Can never be too sure."
"She's smarter."
"Where did that come from?"
"Good point. She's more like you."
"In what way?"
"Sense of humour. Just general interest."
"Don't opposites attract?"
"I think that's only in some cases."
"Are you trying to make me choose?"
"I'm not sure. Can you?"
"Yes."
"Oh."
"Why would I choose her?"
"Why would you choose me?"
"Haven't we been through this?"
"Maybe."
"She seems like she'd go better with me."
"That's my point."
"But it's not mine."
"Very well. Continue."
"She seems like it. But there's no….no…."
"Attraction?"
"There's attraction."
"Desire?"
"There's a little of that."
"I don't know what then. Tell me you're not looking for lust?"
"No, I'm not."
"Then there's no what?"
"No click."
"Right."
"I mean, I don't click with her."
"That is just rubbish."
"I disagree."
"You're telling me she's perfect except she doesn't click with you?"
"Yeah."
"Now who's the crazy one?"
"She flirts constantly."
"So you'd be jealous."
"Is that a question or a statement?"
"Statement."
"I don't think I'd be jealous. What I meant was, you talk, she flirts."
"Aren't they the same thing?"
"Are they?"
"When I talk to you, I'm not flirting. At least, not all the time."
"Well then."
"Pretend I didn't say that out loud."
"Or the part about me being good looking?"
"That too."
"As you wish. What's so funny?"
"That's from a movie."
"Yeah. The Princess Bride."
"So you know? Wait. I thought you didn't know what movies were...?"
"There was a reason I chose that particular phrase."
"Oh."
"Did you want me to choose?"
"It's a little late, isn't it?"
"Yeah. Who's that old guy who we could quote right now?"
"Um, Shakespeare?"
"Yeah."
"Quote away."
"I don't know anything by him."
"Well then, that was sort of stupid of you."
"But you love me any way."
"What will your friends say?"
"I'm not sure. Right now, I'd rather not think about it."
"You'll have to eventually."
"Thanks for the positive note."
"Look on the bright side."
"There's a bright side?"
"IF they attack you, they'll be more of them….Oh, wait."
"Oh yes, you're wonderful and putting a positive spin on things."
"Shut up. Let me try that again."
"I'm not sure if that's such a good idea."
"Funny. The bright side: You have me."
"It's getting brighter and brighter."
"Sarcasm is not appreciated."
"Fine. I take it there's more to this so called good part of the bad thing?"
"Ooh, eloquently put. And yes, there is."
"And….?"
"You can protect yourself against at least five of them."
"How?"
"These rock hard abs…."
"OK, now you're just getting a little creepy."
"Couldn't resist. So, we're a couple?"
"Or you're just another girl."
"I can live with that."
"Are you sure you don't want to pine away in your corner?"
"Pretty sure."
"Wonderful."
"This is weird."
"What is?"
"Declaring we're a couple."
"Declare isn't the word I'd use."
"No?"
"No. I think I'd say….Agreeing to be a couple."
"Ah….Are you sure we shouldn't make a formal announcement or something?"
"Are you serious?"
"Well. I've never dated before, so I really wouldn't know…"
"I thought you were serious for a second there."
"What makes you think I'm not?"
"Why do girls always have to have some freaky way of making the couplement official?"
"Couplement?"
"You know what I mean."
"We don't always. Why? What did that blonde one make you do? Declare your love under a blossoming rose tree?"
"There are rose trees?"
"Fine. Blossoming peach tree. Happy?"
"Peaches blossom?"
"You can be such an idiot…."
"Whatever. No, she made me kiss her in some symbolic way."
"Do I even want to know?"
"On her face, in some funky star-ish pattern."
"I always knew there was something wrong with her…"
"Yeah."
"Very well. I'll have to come up with an appropriate method of torture to put you through."
"Please don't."
"But it would be so fun!"
"You are so weird."
"Thank you. Anyways, this would be my moment to say something corny."
"Like what?"
"Like…. 'It's all right honey. Just being with you is enough for me.'"
"That would be…..Highly disturbing."
"Just be happy I warned you first."
"I am."
"Good. Which reminds me. We need pet names."
"Say what now?"
"Pet names. You know, you can call me honeycomb and I can call you stud muffin or something like that."
"Honeycomb?"
"Yeah, I'm not sure where that one came from…"
"Stud muffin?"
"You like?"
"You scare me sometimes."
"I try."
"Do you really?"
"I don't know. Do I?"
"Stop doing that!"
"Doing what?"
"Here we go again…."
A/N: I re-posted this just so I could write the author's note, and change the font of Hermione's part to make it easier for you guys to read. Thanks a bunch to all my reviewers!