I got this idea from reading some VERY badly written fics written by one
person, during the 4th of July weekend. This is to show how parody can
actually work. I do not own any of the Inu-Yasha characters. They belong to
Rumiko Takahashi.
The Turmoil Twins and Kirara-Chan belong to themselves. Tsukiyo-Sama is
Vegetasmoon and no one owns her
Thanks to Kirara-chan for letting me use the term ROBEAP= Results Of Bad Education And Parenting.
This is a one-shot. ---------Parody------------ PG-13 for foul mouths and mild violence.
WARNING= this is a PARODY and is not meant to be taken seriously. If you easily offended by characters being a tad bit OOC, self-insertion or adding other authors into the fic, then do not read. THERE WILL BE NO MARY-SUE!
Inu-Yasha Vs. the Bad Fan Fiction
When most families watch the eldest child go on a journey, they will stand at the front porch to wave good-bye, but the Higurashi family is not the typical family. Not only do they live on the grounds of a thousand year old shrine, but when they see Kagome off on one of her journeys, they stand on the catwalk that raised 6 feet off the ground inside a mini-shrine that surrounds a well.
Now one has to admit that not many families stand inside a well- house and wave good-bye the eldest child as she jumps into a dry well. But then if other families did that, their eldest daughter would be lying in pile of broken bones for they do not have the mystical Bone-Eaters Well. Thank the gods for that, just think of how messed up the past would be if it was overran by a horde of thoughtless girls who are silly enough to jump in a well.
As Kagome crawled out of the well in the Sengoku Jidai, she realized two things. One, that it was not her day and two, something has happened while she was on a date with Hojo. Although she wouldn't tell Inu-Yasha that, after all if he wanted to keep silent about going to see Kikyo, then Kagome can be silent as well. The dog demon in question was sitting there tapping his fingers on his knee, which was tapping the ground as he growled. "About time wench! I've been waiting for you to arrive forever now!"
Rolling her eyes, Sango interrupted the rude and lying hanyou. "We have not been waiting that long. He just arrived and sat down five second ago."
Of course Inu-Yasha ignored what she said. His eyes bulged as he caught a whiff of a suspicious scent on Kagome, that of a male, not just any male either. Kagome was perturbed by the fact that Inu-Yasha suddenly placed his nose right at her waistband. Kneeling down in front of her, he wanted to make certain that the kid didn't go further down. "Sniff, Sniff. You were with that Ho's Joe weren't you! I can smell it!"
Everyone winced at the loudest slap they ever heard echoed through the meadow. The sound was so loud that entire flocks of birds flew away and three rabbits died of fright. With hands on her hips, Kagome bent at the waist to meet Inu-Yasha's eyes in order to give him a death glare. Raising one eyebrow, Kagome reached out with one hand, touching his forehead with her fingertips. "You were with Kikyo weren't you? I can sense it!"
Kagome straightened up as Inu-Yasha sputtered incoherently. Giving a sweet smile she asked, "Now what were you saying?" When he finally muttered nothing, she gave a wicked smile. "I thought so!" The everyday antics stopped when Kaede spoke up. 'That's right, something odd is going on, Kaede doesn't come to greet me as I come back. I wonder what it is?'
After coughing again, Kaede had everyone's attention. Kaede didn't have a cold or other health problem; it was just the easiest way to get everyone to shut up. But then it may just be past experience, they know if they don't shut up when they hear that cough that Kaede will take her bow and hit everyone on the head.
Taking on her 'time for a lecture' pose, Kaede addressed the young adventurers. "I have received word from a miko in a strange village that they need help against a demon. It seems while that this demon is amoung the dumbest of all demon, it has vast endurance. They are not able to destroy it, even their flame attacks have not detoured it. They have asked for you all to help by name."
o.O Everyone stared not sure what the old miko meant by that. Inu-Yasha was the first to ask for clarification. "What the fuck do you mean, old hag? Help by name?! And just how in the seven hell is this a 'strange' village?" Inu-Yasha of course had put an emphasis on the word strange in that patronizing voice of his.
Kaede thanked Inu-Yasha for staying his typical self and confirming her suspicion that she's getting too old to be patient with foul mouth youths, and then she whacked him atop the head with her bow. "The miko, Tsukiyo- sama, had named each of you, asking for you to help their village. It is an odd village for not only is it is hidden against outsiders, but demon, human and hanyou live there."
"WHAT! They all live together?" Everyone was shocked at this. "Why didn't we hear of it before?" By this time they had reached Kaede's hut and sat down.
As Kaede poured tea for everyone, she continued with her explanation. "Not many know of the village because it is hidden for its safety. But this demon is not attacking out of hate for humans and demons living together. The reason it is attacking is because everyone one in this village are writers."
THUD THUD THUD THUD THUD THUD
Every one of the shard hunters fell down anime style, even Shippo and Kirara. "Everyone , every single person in this village is a scholar? I've never heard of such a place!" Even Miroku is having a hard time believing it.
"The village's original purpose is to supply a place for aspiring writers to have a place to expose their works and get replies from their peers on how they are performing, telling them if the work is acceptable and how they can go about to improve their writings. In such a place, one can learn to write better with help. But of course such a liberal freedom is often abused, sometimes there are those who are so full of pride they refuse to listen on how they can improve. Then there are those who are not truly serious about such a trade and squander the recourses . After all room and space is not free or limitless. Then there are those, like this demon, that are jealous of good writers because they cannot write themselves and they have no imagination." Kaede had to stop there at her long-winded explanation to catch her breath.
"Do we know what sort of demon it is?" Sango asked, being the experienced demon exterminator that she is.
"Baka, if we knew what sort of fucking demon it is, you wouldn't have asked!" Inu-Yasha replied, being the loud-mouthed hanyou that he is.
"SIT!" Kagome yelled, being the bad-tempered friend of the experienced demon exterminator, who had a subduing spell on the loud-mouthed hanyou that she is.
"The demon is a robeap." Kaede replied, being the wise , mature and informed miko that she is.
"A ROBEAP?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Sango, Miroku, Shippo and Inu-Yasha were in unison as they gave voice to their horror. Although Kirara could not scream with the others, she gave distressing mews.
Only Kagome was in the proverbial dark. "What's a robeap?"
~~~~~~~~~~~ 4 days later as they reach the village ~~~~~~~~~~~
As they approached the village they saw a woman dressed in a scout's garb run through the gates. A few moments later, a miko with the oddest hair color appeared. Well Kagome didn't think it was odd, but she came from the future and she knew that human's hair could have other hues besides black or brown.
"Oi! I thought Kaede-baba said a miko would meet us, so who is this youkai?" Inu-Yasha, on the other hand was very suspicious. "I've never seen a human with reddish hair, only youkai have that hair color! And don't tell me that your human, I can feel the demon energies from you!"
The miko in question merely laughed, her gray eyes sparkling. "You are as loud as you were on the day you were born, Inu-Yasha. As for my hair, the color is called strawberry blonde and I inherited it from my youkai father. But I am the miko, Tsukiyo. My mother was a human, a miko as well."
Sango leaned over to whisper in Kagome's ear. "Psst, can you tell what kind she is? Besides the hair color, she looks human to me."
Kagome looked over at the hanyou miko, although she couldn't guess the age beside that fact that Tsukiyo-sama was fully grown, Kagome realized that the older miko is fully-trained. and it seemed that the hanyou had some her youkai sire's traits. 'Well why not? After all Inu-Yasha is half inu and he has some inu youkai qualities to him.' "Excuse me, Tsukiyo- sama, may I ask two questions; Was your father a water youkai? And how do you know what Inu-yasha sounded like when he was born?"
Leading them into an inn, Tsukiyo was interrupted just as she opened her mouth. "We both acted as mid-wives , helping his mother when she gave birth." They looked over to the main table that had the best cushions around it to see two people were already there.
"You see? As I told you, Katzztar, there they are , right on time by my estimation." Inu-Yasha recognized her as the scout he saw as they were nearing the village.
"Heh, I did not doubt you Kirara-chan. Hello, do have a seat. They will bring our meal shortly. I am aware of the long journey between your village and our own. After you rest, we can discuss more about the demon that is attacking us." The youkai called Katzztar gestured to the table. After no one in the group moved, Katzztar raised an eyebrow. "Oh be reasonable. I know you don't come across too many youkai that is polite to you but you HAVE met a few youkai that are not evil."
Sango was the first to come out the shock. "Ah gomen , Katzztar-sama. We were surprised that you have wings."
"And a tail!" Shippo interrupted , pointing at the said tail .Sure enough the youkai female looked human, but with silvery blue wings and a furry tail of the same hue.
Smiling at the young fox Katzztar pointed at his own tail. "You have a tail too, kit. Why is that a shock?"
Inu-Yasha decided to get to the point. "Feh, why do you have both feathered wings and a cat tail?!"
She answered with a smile. "Not all half-breeds are half human, Inu- yasha. My mother was a cat youkai while my father was a hawk. or a dragon, mother was drunk and at a week-long party when she went into heat, and so I'm not certain. I hear I'm lucky that I'm not half cat half dog, since there was three inu Youkais at the party."
After dinner Kagome spoke up. "Excuse me, Katzztar-sama, Tsukiyo-sama, but no one's told me what a robeap is." Kagome looked perplexed as many people looked disgusted, Inu-yasha even pushed away his sixth helping of food, while Shippo actually looked a little green.
Kirara-chan spoke up, disgust evident in her tone. "A robeap is the worst demon ever."
"It's the most disgusting thing to live." Came one voice in a far corner that was so dark, it looked like a vortex.
Tsukiyo-sama decided to try to help the blissfully unaware Kagome. "A Robeap is not only very stupid, their endurance is inhuman. And their favorite activity is to insult everyone. But their worst habit is what making many of our village sick. You see, the robeap has a .ahh.fascination with.. Oh kami you don't want me to say it!"
Shaking her head at her long-time friend, Katzztar picked up the explanation. "What everyone is avoiding saying is that the robeap is fascinated by excrement. He will throw it at people but even more disturbing is that robeaps like to eat it as well."
"EWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"But not only that, but this one has taken to trying to write stories about heros, it's horrible!" One voice spoke up from the back of the crowd that has gathered.
Inu-Yasha didn't see how that could be so frightening. "Feh, a story is better than having shit thrown at you."
"Oh you won't think so after you read them, some of them are about you guys! That's why I asked for you and the fact that your group is strong." Tsukiyo replied as she placed several scrolls on the table, well more like dropped them from the cloth that was used to carry them. Inu-Yasha felt dizzy due to the awful stench of the crap. "These are some of the scroll that this robeap thinks are good stories. He's taken to throwing them oven the gate and walls."
A short time later Inu-Yasha barked of a laugh "Heh this first one is funny, even if it one or two sentences. The title is 'Kouga goes poopy'! Heh, someone insulted the wimpy wolf! HAH 'Sesshomaru likes to fart'! I'm not one to complain that he spelled Sesshoumaru wrong."
Kagome looked up from one scroll nearly in tears. "Read this one! It's about some sort of---'poopy contest' It has both of us in it!"
"WHAT!" Inu-Yasha lost all amusement in the works of the robeap as he read it.
Sango jumped up as throwing away one scroll. "I'm going to kill that damn youkai!" As the scroll landed on the floor, the others saw the title that enraged their friend. It read 'Sango goes diarrhea'.
As they walked through the market area, two twin girls riding identical stallions came riding through, yelling at the top of their lungs some obscure war cry. After blinking a few times Miroku decided to ask what they all wanted to know. "Ahh, what was that about?"
Katzztar started walk in the opposite direction. "Ahh that was the Turmoil Twins. We call them that for obvious reasons. They were they ones to discover that robeap parents do stay with their offspring longer than what originally thought. It was originally thought that robeaps abandon their offspring when they are about half a decade. When the Turmoil Twins tried to confront this robeap that's attacking us, it's father defended it, so now we know that the parent or parents stay with the young at least until they are one decade old. But it does no good for the young robeap. The parents are as stupid as the offspring!"
Suddenly a warning cry was sounded from the watchtowers. "It's coming! The robeap is coming! Towards the northeastern walls!"
Katzztar showed the heros, or anti-hero in Inu-Yasha's case, to the nearest gate so they could go attack the vile demon. It wasn't long before they saw the robeap. Kagome was amazed and disgusted how it resembled the European tales of the trolls. It was short, squat and had greenish hue to it's skin. Its hair was sparse, course and black. The bulging eyes were huge, bigger than Toutousai's ! The fur wrapped around its rump did not look the fur wrap that the wolf tribes wore. The wolves looked like a beautiful fur skirt, while the ropeap's looked like filthy diaper.
All attempts at trying to hold their noses were foiled when they were forced to run. "he he Let's play!" With that as their only warning, the horrendous robeap started to throw brown, smelly lumps at our heros.
For some time the heros kept dodging the flying shit as they tried to kill the stinky demon. But it lived up to its reputation as it was very hard to kill. After the second kaze no kizu it was obvious that a barrier surrounded it. Inu-Yasha tried to get close enough to it to use Tetsusaiga's red blade to cut through but it stench was too great. Even the ink and liver odor from the hell-painter wasn't this bad.
Inu-Yasha's world started the spin when a odorous clump hit him in the face. He fell into darkness as the foul little youkai cried out "Inu-Yasha goes poopy! He eats it and finds it yummy!"
Now Kagome was unable to retreat, Inu-Yasha was knocked out cold from the stench. She stood over his form to protect him. Suddenly the robeap looked around as it stopped throwing the rancid projectiles.
"It seems he ran out of shit to throw!" Shippo cried out. "Oh no.... not that!" Shippo turned to hide his innocent young eyes from the awful sight of the fiend ready to create another supply of his ammunition .
Mortified, Kagome screamed at Miroku "Don't tell me he's about to.." As Miroku shook his head to confirm her fears, Kagome turned to see the ugliest thing ever. It was worse than the time she wrestled Jaken in the Inutaiyoukai's tomb , she was close enough the sniveling frog to see he had brown, slimy boogers, that was the real reason why Jaken was able to toss her some feet to the platform where the fabled sword, Tetsusaiga was impaled upon.
One would think that would be the worst thing to see, oh no this thing that squatted before her was far more hideous, more horrifying event. Nothing was worse that seeing the robeap drop it's furry diaper and squat in front of you.
Kagome could take it no more, this most disgusting mission drove her to her limits. "IEEEEEEE! Hey, quit mooning me! You better pull up your diaper before I shoot an arrow where the sun don't shine!"
When the rank youkai ignored her and successfully resupplied, Kagome's anger was let loose. And the robeap learned one thing in its short life , that an angry Kagome means a scary Kagome. But this dawned on it as Kagome let loose her arrow. When it struck, the arrow had the desired effect.
Kagome yelled at the others. "Its barrier is down, hit it now!" Kagome watched as Miroku sent one his prayer strips flying at the demon, while Shippo sent his illusion of the Big Top to distract it, and Sango threw the Hiraikotsu.
~~~~~~~later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Inu-yasha awoke, he looked around for the horrid demon but saw only crap littering the field. When he was told of the unified attack on it, when Sango's weapon hit the demon, it literally blew apart. "Feh, it was full of shit after all."
After the shard hunters left, never to visit the strange village again, they were finally able to breathe a breath of fresh air. But not so back in the village, for everyone waited for Xing, the village headman, to get rid of the crappy scrolls.
~~~~~~~~~~~three days later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tsukiyo went to inspect the storage room of an adbandoned shed were some of the vile scrolls were kept. After all there was no way that she would allow that trash into her shrine. "YES!" She cried joyously as she viewed the empty room.
After finishing scouting the the southern edge of the village, comfirming that the robeap's scrolls were gone, Kirara-chan started to jump for joy.
The Turmoil twins finished inspecting the northern edge and to their delight ; they couldnot find one foul scroll. They ended up waking the entire village up with their shouts of triumph.
Flying a bit out of the village, Katzztar finally saw what happened to the missing but not missed scrolls. In the distance, she saw the enigmatic village headsman, Xing. It was obvious that he was doing the same thing with the robeap's scrolls that he did to any he found that broke the rules of the village.
You see, if Xing finds a scroll that is not allowed, he will take the offending piece and throw it into this void. Yes, If you violate the rules, a code of conduct , then he can pick up your scroll and TOSS it into the void. If you keep violating the rules then he will Toss you out of village.
Please when visiting the village of the fan fiction, take note of the rules and don't be a robeap.
The end
Gahhhhh This was the most vile, sickest fic I've written. It took me about 5 hours to write it too. It just goes to show you what you can do if you get pissed off enough.
NOTE= AS I suspected, once that the 4th of July weekend is over and the staff has returned, Aguywhoeats not only stopped posting but his account has been terminated. Let us rejoice!!!!!!!!!! WHOHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks to Kirara-chan for letting me use the term ROBEAP= Results Of Bad Education And Parenting.
This is a one-shot. ---------Parody------------ PG-13 for foul mouths and mild violence.
WARNING= this is a PARODY and is not meant to be taken seriously. If you easily offended by characters being a tad bit OOC, self-insertion or adding other authors into the fic, then do not read. THERE WILL BE NO MARY-SUE!
Inu-Yasha Vs. the Bad Fan Fiction
When most families watch the eldest child go on a journey, they will stand at the front porch to wave good-bye, but the Higurashi family is not the typical family. Not only do they live on the grounds of a thousand year old shrine, but when they see Kagome off on one of her journeys, they stand on the catwalk that raised 6 feet off the ground inside a mini-shrine that surrounds a well.
Now one has to admit that not many families stand inside a well- house and wave good-bye the eldest child as she jumps into a dry well. But then if other families did that, their eldest daughter would be lying in pile of broken bones for they do not have the mystical Bone-Eaters Well. Thank the gods for that, just think of how messed up the past would be if it was overran by a horde of thoughtless girls who are silly enough to jump in a well.
As Kagome crawled out of the well in the Sengoku Jidai, she realized two things. One, that it was not her day and two, something has happened while she was on a date with Hojo. Although she wouldn't tell Inu-Yasha that, after all if he wanted to keep silent about going to see Kikyo, then Kagome can be silent as well. The dog demon in question was sitting there tapping his fingers on his knee, which was tapping the ground as he growled. "About time wench! I've been waiting for you to arrive forever now!"
Rolling her eyes, Sango interrupted the rude and lying hanyou. "We have not been waiting that long. He just arrived and sat down five second ago."
Of course Inu-Yasha ignored what she said. His eyes bulged as he caught a whiff of a suspicious scent on Kagome, that of a male, not just any male either. Kagome was perturbed by the fact that Inu-Yasha suddenly placed his nose right at her waistband. Kneeling down in front of her, he wanted to make certain that the kid didn't go further down. "Sniff, Sniff. You were with that Ho's Joe weren't you! I can smell it!"
Everyone winced at the loudest slap they ever heard echoed through the meadow. The sound was so loud that entire flocks of birds flew away and three rabbits died of fright. With hands on her hips, Kagome bent at the waist to meet Inu-Yasha's eyes in order to give him a death glare. Raising one eyebrow, Kagome reached out with one hand, touching his forehead with her fingertips. "You were with Kikyo weren't you? I can sense it!"
Kagome straightened up as Inu-Yasha sputtered incoherently. Giving a sweet smile she asked, "Now what were you saying?" When he finally muttered nothing, she gave a wicked smile. "I thought so!" The everyday antics stopped when Kaede spoke up. 'That's right, something odd is going on, Kaede doesn't come to greet me as I come back. I wonder what it is?'
After coughing again, Kaede had everyone's attention. Kaede didn't have a cold or other health problem; it was just the easiest way to get everyone to shut up. But then it may just be past experience, they know if they don't shut up when they hear that cough that Kaede will take her bow and hit everyone on the head.
Taking on her 'time for a lecture' pose, Kaede addressed the young adventurers. "I have received word from a miko in a strange village that they need help against a demon. It seems while that this demon is amoung the dumbest of all demon, it has vast endurance. They are not able to destroy it, even their flame attacks have not detoured it. They have asked for you all to help by name."
o.O Everyone stared not sure what the old miko meant by that. Inu-Yasha was the first to ask for clarification. "What the fuck do you mean, old hag? Help by name?! And just how in the seven hell is this a 'strange' village?" Inu-Yasha of course had put an emphasis on the word strange in that patronizing voice of his.
Kaede thanked Inu-Yasha for staying his typical self and confirming her suspicion that she's getting too old to be patient with foul mouth youths, and then she whacked him atop the head with her bow. "The miko, Tsukiyo- sama, had named each of you, asking for you to help their village. It is an odd village for not only is it is hidden against outsiders, but demon, human and hanyou live there."
"WHAT! They all live together?" Everyone was shocked at this. "Why didn't we hear of it before?" By this time they had reached Kaede's hut and sat down.
As Kaede poured tea for everyone, she continued with her explanation. "Not many know of the village because it is hidden for its safety. But this demon is not attacking out of hate for humans and demons living together. The reason it is attacking is because everyone one in this village are writers."
THUD THUD THUD THUD THUD THUD
Every one of the shard hunters fell down anime style, even Shippo and Kirara. "Everyone , every single person in this village is a scholar? I've never heard of such a place!" Even Miroku is having a hard time believing it.
"The village's original purpose is to supply a place for aspiring writers to have a place to expose their works and get replies from their peers on how they are performing, telling them if the work is acceptable and how they can go about to improve their writings. In such a place, one can learn to write better with help. But of course such a liberal freedom is often abused, sometimes there are those who are so full of pride they refuse to listen on how they can improve. Then there are those who are not truly serious about such a trade and squander the recourses . After all room and space is not free or limitless. Then there are those, like this demon, that are jealous of good writers because they cannot write themselves and they have no imagination." Kaede had to stop there at her long-winded explanation to catch her breath.
"Do we know what sort of demon it is?" Sango asked, being the experienced demon exterminator that she is.
"Baka, if we knew what sort of fucking demon it is, you wouldn't have asked!" Inu-Yasha replied, being the loud-mouthed hanyou that he is.
"SIT!" Kagome yelled, being the bad-tempered friend of the experienced demon exterminator, who had a subduing spell on the loud-mouthed hanyou that she is.
"The demon is a robeap." Kaede replied, being the wise , mature and informed miko that she is.
"A ROBEAP?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Sango, Miroku, Shippo and Inu-Yasha were in unison as they gave voice to their horror. Although Kirara could not scream with the others, she gave distressing mews.
Only Kagome was in the proverbial dark. "What's a robeap?"
~~~~~~~~~~~ 4 days later as they reach the village ~~~~~~~~~~~
As they approached the village they saw a woman dressed in a scout's garb run through the gates. A few moments later, a miko with the oddest hair color appeared. Well Kagome didn't think it was odd, but she came from the future and she knew that human's hair could have other hues besides black or brown.
"Oi! I thought Kaede-baba said a miko would meet us, so who is this youkai?" Inu-Yasha, on the other hand was very suspicious. "I've never seen a human with reddish hair, only youkai have that hair color! And don't tell me that your human, I can feel the demon energies from you!"
The miko in question merely laughed, her gray eyes sparkling. "You are as loud as you were on the day you were born, Inu-Yasha. As for my hair, the color is called strawberry blonde and I inherited it from my youkai father. But I am the miko, Tsukiyo. My mother was a human, a miko as well."
Sango leaned over to whisper in Kagome's ear. "Psst, can you tell what kind she is? Besides the hair color, she looks human to me."
Kagome looked over at the hanyou miko, although she couldn't guess the age beside that fact that Tsukiyo-sama was fully grown, Kagome realized that the older miko is fully-trained. and it seemed that the hanyou had some her youkai sire's traits. 'Well why not? After all Inu-Yasha is half inu and he has some inu youkai qualities to him.' "Excuse me, Tsukiyo- sama, may I ask two questions; Was your father a water youkai? And how do you know what Inu-yasha sounded like when he was born?"
Leading them into an inn, Tsukiyo was interrupted just as she opened her mouth. "We both acted as mid-wives , helping his mother when she gave birth." They looked over to the main table that had the best cushions around it to see two people were already there.
"You see? As I told you, Katzztar, there they are , right on time by my estimation." Inu-Yasha recognized her as the scout he saw as they were nearing the village.
"Heh, I did not doubt you Kirara-chan. Hello, do have a seat. They will bring our meal shortly. I am aware of the long journey between your village and our own. After you rest, we can discuss more about the demon that is attacking us." The youkai called Katzztar gestured to the table. After no one in the group moved, Katzztar raised an eyebrow. "Oh be reasonable. I know you don't come across too many youkai that is polite to you but you HAVE met a few youkai that are not evil."
Sango was the first to come out the shock. "Ah gomen , Katzztar-sama. We were surprised that you have wings."
"And a tail!" Shippo interrupted , pointing at the said tail .Sure enough the youkai female looked human, but with silvery blue wings and a furry tail of the same hue.
Smiling at the young fox Katzztar pointed at his own tail. "You have a tail too, kit. Why is that a shock?"
Inu-Yasha decided to get to the point. "Feh, why do you have both feathered wings and a cat tail?!"
She answered with a smile. "Not all half-breeds are half human, Inu- yasha. My mother was a cat youkai while my father was a hawk. or a dragon, mother was drunk and at a week-long party when she went into heat, and so I'm not certain. I hear I'm lucky that I'm not half cat half dog, since there was three inu Youkais at the party."
After dinner Kagome spoke up. "Excuse me, Katzztar-sama, Tsukiyo-sama, but no one's told me what a robeap is." Kagome looked perplexed as many people looked disgusted, Inu-yasha even pushed away his sixth helping of food, while Shippo actually looked a little green.
Kirara-chan spoke up, disgust evident in her tone. "A robeap is the worst demon ever."
"It's the most disgusting thing to live." Came one voice in a far corner that was so dark, it looked like a vortex.
Tsukiyo-sama decided to try to help the blissfully unaware Kagome. "A Robeap is not only very stupid, their endurance is inhuman. And their favorite activity is to insult everyone. But their worst habit is what making many of our village sick. You see, the robeap has a .ahh.fascination with.. Oh kami you don't want me to say it!"
Shaking her head at her long-time friend, Katzztar picked up the explanation. "What everyone is avoiding saying is that the robeap is fascinated by excrement. He will throw it at people but even more disturbing is that robeaps like to eat it as well."
"EWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"But not only that, but this one has taken to trying to write stories about heros, it's horrible!" One voice spoke up from the back of the crowd that has gathered.
Inu-Yasha didn't see how that could be so frightening. "Feh, a story is better than having shit thrown at you."
"Oh you won't think so after you read them, some of them are about you guys! That's why I asked for you and the fact that your group is strong." Tsukiyo replied as she placed several scrolls on the table, well more like dropped them from the cloth that was used to carry them. Inu-Yasha felt dizzy due to the awful stench of the crap. "These are some of the scroll that this robeap thinks are good stories. He's taken to throwing them oven the gate and walls."
A short time later Inu-Yasha barked of a laugh "Heh this first one is funny, even if it one or two sentences. The title is 'Kouga goes poopy'! Heh, someone insulted the wimpy wolf! HAH 'Sesshomaru likes to fart'! I'm not one to complain that he spelled Sesshoumaru wrong."
Kagome looked up from one scroll nearly in tears. "Read this one! It's about some sort of---'poopy contest' It has both of us in it!"
"WHAT!" Inu-Yasha lost all amusement in the works of the robeap as he read it.
Sango jumped up as throwing away one scroll. "I'm going to kill that damn youkai!" As the scroll landed on the floor, the others saw the title that enraged their friend. It read 'Sango goes diarrhea'.
As they walked through the market area, two twin girls riding identical stallions came riding through, yelling at the top of their lungs some obscure war cry. After blinking a few times Miroku decided to ask what they all wanted to know. "Ahh, what was that about?"
Katzztar started walk in the opposite direction. "Ahh that was the Turmoil Twins. We call them that for obvious reasons. They were they ones to discover that robeap parents do stay with their offspring longer than what originally thought. It was originally thought that robeaps abandon their offspring when they are about half a decade. When the Turmoil Twins tried to confront this robeap that's attacking us, it's father defended it, so now we know that the parent or parents stay with the young at least until they are one decade old. But it does no good for the young robeap. The parents are as stupid as the offspring!"
Suddenly a warning cry was sounded from the watchtowers. "It's coming! The robeap is coming! Towards the northeastern walls!"
Katzztar showed the heros, or anti-hero in Inu-Yasha's case, to the nearest gate so they could go attack the vile demon. It wasn't long before they saw the robeap. Kagome was amazed and disgusted how it resembled the European tales of the trolls. It was short, squat and had greenish hue to it's skin. Its hair was sparse, course and black. The bulging eyes were huge, bigger than Toutousai's ! The fur wrapped around its rump did not look the fur wrap that the wolf tribes wore. The wolves looked like a beautiful fur skirt, while the ropeap's looked like filthy diaper.
All attempts at trying to hold their noses were foiled when they were forced to run. "he he Let's play!" With that as their only warning, the horrendous robeap started to throw brown, smelly lumps at our heros.
For some time the heros kept dodging the flying shit as they tried to kill the stinky demon. But it lived up to its reputation as it was very hard to kill. After the second kaze no kizu it was obvious that a barrier surrounded it. Inu-Yasha tried to get close enough to it to use Tetsusaiga's red blade to cut through but it stench was too great. Even the ink and liver odor from the hell-painter wasn't this bad.
Inu-Yasha's world started the spin when a odorous clump hit him in the face. He fell into darkness as the foul little youkai cried out "Inu-Yasha goes poopy! He eats it and finds it yummy!"
Now Kagome was unable to retreat, Inu-Yasha was knocked out cold from the stench. She stood over his form to protect him. Suddenly the robeap looked around as it stopped throwing the rancid projectiles.
"It seems he ran out of shit to throw!" Shippo cried out. "Oh no.... not that!" Shippo turned to hide his innocent young eyes from the awful sight of the fiend ready to create another supply of his ammunition .
Mortified, Kagome screamed at Miroku "Don't tell me he's about to.." As Miroku shook his head to confirm her fears, Kagome turned to see the ugliest thing ever. It was worse than the time she wrestled Jaken in the Inutaiyoukai's tomb , she was close enough the sniveling frog to see he had brown, slimy boogers, that was the real reason why Jaken was able to toss her some feet to the platform where the fabled sword, Tetsusaiga was impaled upon.
One would think that would be the worst thing to see, oh no this thing that squatted before her was far more hideous, more horrifying event. Nothing was worse that seeing the robeap drop it's furry diaper and squat in front of you.
Kagome could take it no more, this most disgusting mission drove her to her limits. "IEEEEEEE! Hey, quit mooning me! You better pull up your diaper before I shoot an arrow where the sun don't shine!"
When the rank youkai ignored her and successfully resupplied, Kagome's anger was let loose. And the robeap learned one thing in its short life , that an angry Kagome means a scary Kagome. But this dawned on it as Kagome let loose her arrow. When it struck, the arrow had the desired effect.
Kagome yelled at the others. "Its barrier is down, hit it now!" Kagome watched as Miroku sent one his prayer strips flying at the demon, while Shippo sent his illusion of the Big Top to distract it, and Sango threw the Hiraikotsu.
~~~~~~~later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Inu-yasha awoke, he looked around for the horrid demon but saw only crap littering the field. When he was told of the unified attack on it, when Sango's weapon hit the demon, it literally blew apart. "Feh, it was full of shit after all."
After the shard hunters left, never to visit the strange village again, they were finally able to breathe a breath of fresh air. But not so back in the village, for everyone waited for Xing, the village headman, to get rid of the crappy scrolls.
~~~~~~~~~~~three days later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tsukiyo went to inspect the storage room of an adbandoned shed were some of the vile scrolls were kept. After all there was no way that she would allow that trash into her shrine. "YES!" She cried joyously as she viewed the empty room.
After finishing scouting the the southern edge of the village, comfirming that the robeap's scrolls were gone, Kirara-chan started to jump for joy.
The Turmoil twins finished inspecting the northern edge and to their delight ; they couldnot find one foul scroll. They ended up waking the entire village up with their shouts of triumph.
Flying a bit out of the village, Katzztar finally saw what happened to the missing but not missed scrolls. In the distance, she saw the enigmatic village headsman, Xing. It was obvious that he was doing the same thing with the robeap's scrolls that he did to any he found that broke the rules of the village.
You see, if Xing finds a scroll that is not allowed, he will take the offending piece and throw it into this void. Yes, If you violate the rules, a code of conduct , then he can pick up your scroll and TOSS it into the void. If you keep violating the rules then he will Toss you out of village.
Please when visiting the village of the fan fiction, take note of the rules and don't be a robeap.
The end
Gahhhhh This was the most vile, sickest fic I've written. It took me about 5 hours to write it too. It just goes to show you what you can do if you get pissed off enough.
NOTE= AS I suspected, once that the 4th of July weekend is over and the staff has returned, Aguywhoeats not only stopped posting but his account has been terminated. Let us rejoice!!!!!!!!!! WHOHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!