A Wolf That Cried For Bella

Yup, i'm back with a oneshot. I must state the obvious before continuing. Characters do not belong to me, they belong to Stephenie Meyer, genuis of the world.

Now that's out the way...I'd like to dedicate this to SquishyGirl. I know this isn't exactly what we were talking about, but I still think it turned out pretty good. So in honour of your inspiration for me, this is especially for you :) Hope you enjoy!

To the rest of my wonderful readers I hope you enjoy this as well!

Jacob POV

This was it; she was going to marry the bloodsucker. She'd chosen her fate; she wanted to be one of them. She wanted to become a leech.She wanted to sacrifice her life just so she could spend eternity with him, the dirty, underhanded, pathetic excuse of existence.

My mind spun uncontrollably, making me feel like I had vertigo at the thought of her becoming a filthy creature of darkness. But I could feel my heart aching within me; it felt like someone was stretching it like a rubber band, pushing it to its limit before it snapped.

She was his, totally and utterly a slave to his charm, and there was nothing I could do to make her change her mind. After everything they'd been though, she still wanted him above anybody else in her life. It sickened me to the pit of my stomach as I ran in my wolf form towards a destination I hadn't decided on.

After all of my best attempts of persuasion, she still wanted him. She was still blind sighted by his presence, even though he had previously abandoned her and she ended up falling into pieces. Nevertheless, as soon as she ran to save him, he was welcomed back with open arms like he'd never disappeared off of the face of the earth.

When they returned from Italy she seemed to forget that I was the one who slowly built her back up; she had disregarded the reality that I was the one who had cared for her and looked after her in her times of dire need. She had even overlooked the fact that I was the one who cared enough to stick around and make her feel like she was well and truly loved. At that point I had been pushed aside to make room for his triumphant return to her life.

And now here we all were, she was engaged to him and expecting all my feelings of love to be erased, just so it would make everything perfect for them. Life would be so much easier for them if I forgot how to love her. She wouldn't be forced to choose between us anymore, even though she already had.

Little did she know that it wasn't as easy as she wanted it to be. I laughed to myself bitterly as it was rather ironic seeing as she of all people should know how hard it is to let go of the love of your life.

I was now pushing myself to the limit, passing any boarder that my body steered me in. Irony struck me again as I was now the one reduced to pieces, I was the one with the meteor-sized chip on the shoulder, I was the one who needed to be built up again. I thought that running would keep me focused, I didn't need to think about her when I was running, but she still kept into my thoughts.

How could I forget her face, that smile that she only reserved for me? How could I block her out when she was tattooed permanently across my thoughts and my heart? How could I do anything when I knew that the woman I loved had just signed her own death warrant?

My stomach churned again and I suddenly felt the exhaustion kick in, I slowed down my run and finally came to a stop at a clump of trees close to some form of suburbia. I'd pushed myself physically as well as emotionally and took in my surroundings realising that ended up somewhere that looked completely different from Forks.

I phased back into human form and the ghastly smell of exhaust fumes dulled a little, but it still offended my extremely heightened nostrils.

I wasn't sure if it was the smell or the fact that I still had images of Bella and the bloodsucker running through my mind but I threw up. I steadied myself by placing a palm against a tree trunk, but my legs still wobbled like a newborn baby trying to walk for the first time.

Once I regained some strength, I walked further into the trees to find a spot to rest. I thought that would occupy my mind, keep me from dwelling into thoughts about them. But still Bella's face kept edging in covering my thoughts like Clingfilm, making my heart now feel like it was being stabbed by thorns.

These images were sharper now that I was human again, they'd been dulled slightly when I'd been in wolf form, but either way I couldn't escape. I don't think I ever will escape these feelings. However, I knew that it wasn't safe staying as a wolf when I was so close to civilisation, I'd be hunted down, feared as a monster, when really I was the protector of the human race.

Cullen was the one who needed to be hunted down. He was the monster, and he was the one who'd taken everything from me. He was better off when he'd left Forks.

I wondered what might have happened if he had stayed away permanently. I knew for sure that Bella would love me in the way I loved her, eventually, I was patient enough to wait for that day, even if it took years. Looking back, I think she'd been boarding on loving me completely before he returned.

I shook my head furiously trying to erase those thoughts; I knew I'd be ok if I didn't dwell on the past. I just wanted to focus on the alternate future Bella and I could've had together.

I knew that I would willingly give up my wolf form for her, we would marry with our parents blessing, we would grow old together naturally, and we'd start a family. We would reside in a house in La Push and our children would love us as much as we loved them. We would eventually die from natural causes, but we would've lived life with no complications, it would've been peaceful and full of love. It would've been the most perfect life we could've ever dreamed of.

I could picture it so vividly and warmth and happiness spread throughout my body, but I froze when I remembered that that was all it was it could ever be. It was a dream, a dream that could never come true so long as she decided to stick with the leech.

I morphed once again into my wolf form as I decided to make a move again, I knew I couldn't stay here. I couldn't stay anywhere; I couldn't be a human anymore. I was a wolf; all I needed were my survival instincts. I didn't need to love, not when I was looking out for myself. Love was for humans, not animals.

As I sprinted towards another destination I let my head fall back and let a piercing howl escape from my lips and let it echo into the night. It was supposed to release all the love I had kept inside but it didn't.

Bella was still locked away in my heart, still making it beat for her. It just hurt me even more to know that hers beat for Edward Cullen.

Aren't I the little ball of angst eh?

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