Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail.
Warning: This story does not encourage the use of illegal substances.
A/N: And another stoner AU! Cue the reggae! I even have a special playlist for this stories, really good stuff. Well, this story is another take on this seldom written crack stories; at least, I found no other stoner stories. Correct me if I'm wrong, I'd like to read some. Business as usual, Lucy POV, jokes and a lot of weed. Enjoy!
Today was a good day. Well, when was it not? Although we had our fair share of troubled days in Fairy Tail, most of our times we had fun. Recently, we'd been on a mission, just Natsu, Happy and me, for a little change. We'd been to Hargeon once again. It hadn't been a difficult mission, just making some quick Jewels by guarding a treasure.
Of course, standing on guard was something Natsu hated. It was boring, and as expected Natsu was bored. That was, until one of the other guards approached Natsu.
"Hey, you're Salamander, right?", he asked.
"Yeah.", answered Natsu bored.
"So you're really good fire! Amazing! So could you please...light this?", asked the guard and gave Natsu something. It was a few inch long, wrapped in thin paper; a joint.
"Of course, dude.", grinned Natsu. Cautiously he burned the paper at the end, then he put it in his mouth and lit it, taking a hit. "Great stuff.", he said with an even wider grin.
"I know, right? Amnesia, it is.",said the guard.
"Say...you don't have some left?", I asked hopefully.
"Well, I do. I have a few grams left.", smiled the guard.
"How much?", Natsu and I blurted out.
‑
After a minute and a few Jewels later, Natsu took off his wrist band. He recently bought it, you could transform into a pipe. He put the herb in a grinder and shredded it. He took some out, put it in the head and took a breath. Slowly exhaling thick smoke, he sighed. "Aah, so good...let's share it with the ice freak and the others."
"Yeah.", I said and took the pipe from Natsu. Inhaling I closed my eyes, and after a minute I felt really nice. I feelt light and cloudy, and I felt my stomach getting hot, like it was on fire; it was not painful, but really pleasurable. I put on some music from a lacrima and closed my eyes, moving to the music, it was great. "Amnesia..."; I sighed happily.
‑
We had returned to the guild, and sat down at our table. "Hey.", said Gray.
Erza nodded politely. "Good day."
"Yo!", Natsu and I said.
"I see. Did the mission go well?", asked Erza.
"Yeah, it was great. Just chilling around.", said Natsu.
"Indeed, we didn't destroy anything! Although we might get a bill from the train company for cleaning services..."
"But we met some cool people!", said Natsu and winked to Gray. Gray nodded slightly.
"That sounds nice. Well, I guess I'll order some cake.", Erza said and left for the counter.
As soon as she was away, we whispered to Gray: "Hey, we bought really nice stuff in Hargeon. This afternoon at my appartment?" Everyone nodded.
"Natsu, could you please ready everything?", I asked. Natsu nodded and left. I bowed down to Gray. "Natsu has Amnesia!", I said. A second later we heard a crash. Erza stood behind me; she had dropped her plate in shock.
"What did you say, Natsu has amnesia?!", she exclaimed.
"Yeah, well, he has Amnesia.", I stuttered.
"My God! Maybe that was the reason for Natsu being a little strange today.", said Erza. "Come on, we have to help him!" Erza stormed off, dragging us with her.
‑
We entered my apartment. Natsu was sitting on the couch. "What are you three doing here?", he asked, confused by Erza.
"You're right! He forgot why we're here, he has amnesia!", said Erza and rushed to Natsu. "We have to cure you."
Natsu looked shocked at Gray and me. "That's right. This is why brought a special inhalator and those healing herbs!", Gray said and pointed at the baggy and the bong on the table.
"Yeah, we should use it.", I said. Reluctantly Natsu picked up the bong and filled the head. He lit it and looked around. A grin formed on his face.
"That's totally right, I have Amnesia!", he laughed.
"Oh, this really seems to improve your memory. Let me try it! I forgot where I put my lighter, maybe it will help me remember.", said Gray and took the bong from him, puffing.
"Pass it to me, too. I forgot where I left my screens and the papes.", I said, taking a hit myself.
‑
After a few minutes we we're all giggly and up in the clouds. "Ah, right, the lighter is on my table.", laughed Gray.
"Oh, I left the screens and the papes on your table, too.", I giggled.
"Hey, you can't un-forget my table.", said Gray and we three chuckled.
"Amazing, this herb is really useful. What is his name?", asked Erza.
"Hemp.", I said. "A really good plant, though suppressed by the big companies...", I sighed.
"Very well, it's my turn! I forgot what I heard at the guild this morning.", said Erza and took the bong, filled the head and lit it. I groaned. A high Erza was a fun Erza.
‑
"Oh, I remember what I heard this morning. Gajeel had asked Droy how much MJ was. Geez, we can't sell Mira", giggled Erza.
"Aha? Has the price increased?", asked Gray.
"Probably.", said Natsu.
"Is Mira ranked by some magazine?", asked Erza interested.
"Yeah, something like that.", I said.
"Damn, I thirsty...", said Natsu. "I'm gonna make some tea."
"Mira's Recreation Tea?", Erza asked hopefully.
"Of course.", I said. I felt how my hands got numb. Shit, this stuff was pretty good!
"I feel a little dizzy, like I'm in a haze...", said Erza.
"Is it purple?", asked Gray.
"No, it's like seeing the South Saturn Delta from the sky."
"Am I in there with diamonds?", I asked.
Erza giggled. "No, why should you? But I thought you rode an eggplant in front of a mountain."
"Was it Mount Zion?", asked Gray.
"I don't know, but there were lions made of iron.", said Erza.
‑
We had some other conversations like that, but slowly came down from our high. "That was really a nice herb!", I said. "I might need it tomorrow again. I forgot where my screens are."
"That's right, and I forgot whom I should ask if left his screens on my table.", said Gray.
"And I forgot how much cake I ate yesterday.", said Erza.
"I'm recovering, I need it again.", said Natsu. We all smiled and went out to buy some food.
A/N: For all the people that don't know, Amnesia is a sort of cannabis. And these wristbands are real. I left a few "easter eggs", or rather some lame ass word chain around something affiliated with it. I bet nobody caught on on the Blade Runner reference and the joke around it. Over and out, for now.