CB: I haven't been online for a while because of school. But I'm back with a whole lot of ideas! I want to dedicate this story to Jen-chan as an advanced Valentines Day gift! It's my first yaoi fic. Don't sue!..................... For now.
Disclaimer: For the love of fXXk! I don't own Naruto!
It was Valentines Day, and our favorite bitche-- I mean Akatsuki members were preparing themselves for another wave of love letters and invasions from their rabid fangirls. Bah! What a little coughgiantcough mutant Wiener dogs and a little mine field couldn't take care of.
Enough about that. Let's cut on to the chase. Pein called all of them to the conference room to talk about the super secret agenda he was PMSing about for a week.
"Wait, since when did we have a conference room?" asked Kisame.
"Uh, I know a guy," Pein lied, trying to evade the question.
"Ahem. Well listen all of you. Tomorrow's gonna be Valentines Day so you better be prepared."
They just look all puzzled at him except for Konan of course. Pein was a conniving bastard. He gave out details to a minimum. It wasn't because he was trying to be all mysterious and awesome or something. He was just plain lazy.
"WTF?! I'm not joining your ass fuck heathen ritual!" bitched out Hidan.
"What's the matter, un? No fangirls to bang?" chuckled Deidara.
Soon, everyone else joined the chuckling, except for Tobi who didn't quite get the idea. But that quipped Kakuzu's attention. He looked at the Jashinist's direction with mild interest. He noticed the silver haired zealot fuming with anger. Or was it something more?
"Look who's the one talking? At least I don't look like a fucking emo Barbie doll!"
Everyone laughed harder at the comment, even Tobi.
"I'M A GUY, DAMMIT!!!"
"Bring it on princess!"
"Would you to break it up?" this time, Sasori interfered, grabbing his partner by the collar along with Kakuzu who grabbed Hidan by the neck.
"But he started it, Sasori-dana, un!" whined the blonde.
"Get the fuck off, old man! Let me fucking rip off his head and sacrifice him so Jashin-sama!" cussed out Hidan.
Kakuzu had pulled Hidan to his direction to prevent him from killing Deidara. He only felt Hidan's ass on his navel when he realized he pulled to hard.
'That was... soft.'
Kakuzu began to blush like a tomato.
"You can get our fucking heathen hands off now, Kakuzu," Hidan said, a blush painting his own cheeks from embarrassment.
Kakuzu turned into an even darker shade of red when all of them are looking at him suspiciously. Even Itachi was narrowing his eyes (by a microscopic centimeter, mind you) at him.
"Everybody cut him some slack, would you?" said the voice of his temporary savior.
Konan noticed Kakuzu was about to have a heart attack from too much tension. She new he had a thing for Hidan, but kept it in secrecy for her own yaoi fangirl desires.
Smirking inwardly, she knew Kakuzu owed her for it.
"Well then, meeting adjourned. Get yourselves to bed," Pein sighed, thanking kami above that his new conference room wasn't destroyed or anything.
Later that night Kakuzu went to Konan. He had to straighten things up with her. Like, why the fuck did she had to help him.
"Tell me why."
"Why what?"
"Grr… Why the hell would you help me, dammit?!"
"Oh, come on. It's obvious you got hots for him," Konan said slyly. "Kinda peachy for yourself not to notice."
Kakuzu choked on his own spit and gagged. How the hell did she know?
"Don't be so over dramatic Kakuzu! Just tell him how you feel. You're in luck. Tomorrow's Valentines Day, and it's the best opportunity for you!"
"Tch! Fine, fine. But I don't know how to be romantic." Kakuzu slumped in a wall, feeling dread eating through his heart/hearts.
"Recite him a poem, give him flowers, or better yet, write him a letter. Just be sure it speaks his language," with that, Konan left him to ponder on his own thoughts.
Kakuzu woke up at 5 am sharp to sneak in to Hidan's room. All those years of being a ninja did him good. Clutching the small red envelope tightly, he entered his partner's chambers.
Hidan was lying in his bed with only his boxers, appearing vulnerable for once His blanket exposed the firm muscles of his bare chest, showing off images that left little for the imagination. Kakuzu had to hold his nose to prevent an incoming nosebleed. What he would give to pounce on that fine piece of ass.
'Too tempting…'
He mentally slapped himself, and stopped his drool from dripping onto the floor. The image practically burned in his memory. Permanently.
'Bad boy, Kakuzu!'
He quickly placed the envelope on the side table and turned to run for it, but a hand grabbed his own and stopped him.
A bed head sporting Hidan with only boxers looked at him with bedroom eyes.
"Let's read your letter later, shall we?" Hidan said with a smirk.
"How did you----"
"A little butterfly told me,"
Hidan pulled him to his bed, drawing Kakuzu's mind to a blank. Kakuzu went rigid from utter shock, then, went limp as Hidan's soft lips descended on his own. Whatever. He was enjoying himself far too much to care at the moment. His feelings for Hidan weren't so unrequited after all!
Without the two men knowing, Konan peeked into the door with a video camera connected to a computer that was being watched by the whole Akatsuki lot.
"Deidara, you owe me 5 bucks," Sasori said flatly.
"Damn..."