He stood in the doorway she had tears in her eyes but Sean had her and just held her like it was supposed to be. They were talking silently, they had what I wanted love. I smiled to the two of them when Sean's mouth opened and closed like a blubbering fish. Emma turned to the door way and saw what he was looking at. She promptly fell off the bed. I ran to help her up but I couldn't grab her, my hand just went through her. I ran a hand through my hair.
"It can't be... Your dead." She stuttered.
"So I just found out, Liberty was quite frank on that." I sat on the chair as Sean helped her up.
"What are you doing here?" I shrugged.
"I'm not sure, death is nothing like what I thought it would be. I mean they talk of white lights and its painless but quite frankly is was really painful, and I don't see any white lights so I am here." She shook her head at me.
"Why aren't you with Liberty." I smiled.
"I was just laying with her, I was able to hold her hand and that's why I am not sure why I couldn't help you up. I'm still trying to figure everything out, why I can't just go to a land of oblivion or heaven." She closed her eyes and fought the tears that threatened to spill.
"Why J.T. Why you?" I thought that a lot since I died.
"I can't tell you. I don't know myself. There are a lot of What if's in life but why wonder on them? You can question the rest of your life why I died yet you will never find an answer." I looked to Sean.
"Why do you keep going back to him Emma?" I turned my vision to her.
"Because I love him, I don't get why you would ask that."
"Sean same thing." I smiled at him as he looked to her.
"No, shes home. Something I never had and when I am with her it seems at least one thing in my world is alright." Emma looked to him shocked. If I didn't know what to do while dead I could at least have the lies we've told each other come out and end.
"I asked because you need to see the bigger picture. I've wised up a little since Liberty put me in my place way back when. You see that you need to separate the schools but isn't that what created the mess? Our schools maybe together and full of violence. But as a famous person said " In violence, we forget who we are." Beneath all the pain we are still human, err well you are. I'm a ghost or something. Anyways, the point is if you separate the schools then the violence will always remain. We are still apart of Degrassi, and in that we've seen a lot, but when I fought with Liberty, I almost forgot that I loved her. You are fighting with people who have people who could easily do to you what they did to me." I pleaded them with my eyes to see reason. They needed not to fight as much as I would of loved to, but I had to be a man I couldn't forever remain a boy.
"It's so messed up though, your not there. They act like nothing happened." I smiled at her.
"Why would they react to something so far from them. They know nothing of the pain your feeling, how will they act if they don't see reason."
"I know but. It's just hard." Sean said.
"Life is hard. But you gotta just roll with the punches. Shake hands with Liberty even if the blood is on their hands. And no I don't mean Liberty Van Zandt I mean Lakehurst end the feud." I stood and walked to the door.
"When did you become so insightful."
"When everyone stopped looking, the party had nothing to do with my death. Stop blaming your self Emma." I turned and heard her soft cries.
"Thank you J.T." I gave a slight chuckle before I said something that I knew would put a smile on her face.
"Well that's me, Mr. Thoughtful." I faded out the door hearing the faint goodbyes. They would be ok over time. Once they stopped blaming them self's and Emma forgave Manny. The party was my last chance to tell Liberty I love her. But I ran out of chances when I let her walk away after saying things about Mia.